One More Try

If he would ask me to take down my white flag, I would.

He did. And so I am taking it down.

"I'm sorry, dear. Let's give it another try." Then a hug and a kiss.

To me, that was enough sincerity to spark my tiny ray of hope once again. And to put my white flag back in store. To throw it away altogether would have been too bold a step for me right now.

If you're honestly raring to give it another go, count me in.

But the wounded soul needs time to rest. And then to find the strength to restore the faith before it can live on purposefully.

So, I'm going to shut out all the questions, the fears and uncertainties, and work on finding myself first.

Maybe the trip (which I still haven't planned for yet) will help.


The worn-out body needs plenty of rest, as well. I was so knocked out last night, I slept for almost 12 hours the minute I jumped into bed. It must've been a good rest because I cannot remember what I dreamt of, or if I even dreamt at all.


Things are suddenly reverted to a normal today. The invisible wall between us seems to have suddenly broken down.

I am not complaining. Just surprised. And revelling in it.

There was the usual chatting in the car, at the lunch table. There was the warm 'goodbye' at the airport as I dropped him off at work. We finally seemed to be more at ease with each other again, and I think we were more relieved than anything that the tension was over.

It seems like the road ahead is taking a turn toward somewhere - though you never know the destination until you reach it.


God, I asked You to roll all the pranks on me once and for all - I just hope this isn't one of them.


Never stop listening to your own heart.

You can shut your ears to anyone else's rantings, but you can never live in peace if you ignore the million-things your heart wants to tell you. You can avoid people but you can never avoid your heart - unless you rip it out of your being.

It is almost never wrong to listen to your heart. No one is born with an evil heart; the evil one chooses to kill his own good heart that he was born with, and nurture an evil one.

You heart will not tell you what to do. Your heart is only capable of asking you questions and more questions. It is up to yourself to answer your own inner-dwelling questions. If there are no answers, the questions will not end. If you have answers, but the questions still keep coming, then perhaps those were not the answers you, nor your heart, were really looking for.

Only when you have true answers for yourself, then will you find peace in your heart.

This is perhaps what they call 'conscience'.

There's only so much a friend can do to help you.

You'd need the guidance of your heart to help yourself though life.