A.Mag says she likes my new lemon-lime Coach tote. "Very you," she says.
I like it very much too, and I think it's very me also.
My favorite Christmas pressie that's going with almost everything in my wardrobe.
Thanks to you. =)
*****
I'm going for a run.
Yes, at three in the afternoon.
My Lunar New Year resolution: to get back into my running routine.
Run everyday. Ok, maybe every other day. Alright, alright. Die die must run once every three days.
I'll start off with a simple 5km. Then I'll eventually get back to my usual 10km.
Will I do the marathon this year? NO! I've got knees to preserve till my grand old age.
A long, long time ago, the man was peering down from the corridor outside his room on the second floor of the hall he was staying in then.
It was a quiet afternoon, and I was walking toward his block after a swim in the pool. He was looking at me, and we were smiling at each other.
I got up to his room, expecting a hug and kiss.
Instead he said, "Eh, why you so skinny but your thighs so wobbly one?"
他妈的!!!
Since then, there's only one thing I pursue endlessly, other than eternal love: toned thighs that wouldn't wobble.
Ha. So far, so good.
Except now they are a little jello. Thanks to my stupid tree-stump that has kept me out of much action.
Cannot.
The jello-thighs are irritating me much today.
I'll savor the leftover cabbage rice I shamelssly offered to bring home last night - after my good 5km.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Gathering?
There's a 4/9 class gathering next week that, for once in donkey years, I'm turning up at.
That is, if I don't back out at the last minute.
Anyway, if I don't go, I don't think anyone would miss me. I've just been conveniently included in the yahoogroup. Ha.
I'm not one for class gatherings. Or any large-scale gathering for that matter.
In fact, I fear them.
I fear the conversations that might lead to something personally upsetting.
The last time I finally agreed to turn up at the SO3C JC gathering, I totally regretted it. TOTALLY.
The only reason why I turned up was to see my only-best-friend-in-class, PP. She the artist who sat next to me since secondary school and was always drawing me cartoons under our desks. She the buddy who always shielded me in JC while I was sleeping through all the classes.
That's what friends are for, man. They draw you cartoons to perk you up during a boring lesson, and cover your ass while you're up to no good.
At that silly gathering, all the other smarty-pants started embarking on some conversations of the boring kind: politics, economy, business, world, education. They talked anything but gossip and cock. Stuff I'm good at.
It was like everyone was trying to outdo one another with the kind of 'current' knowledge they had.
Gawd, they were like that even way back in JC. Which was probably why I was the outcast of the class. Heck, I was the J1 kid who hung out with the J2s, and eventually became the J2 senior that hung out with the J1s.
Please. Spare me your brains for once.
There's yet another gathering tonight, though a smaller-group one. My hall gang - my Madam-Wong/Mambo buddies.
These days, however, I am beginning to fear this particular gathering as well.
Simply because it has become a 'couple-couple' thing.
My chicks and I, we hate the couple-couple thing, we fear the questions that may come our way, and we think we are better off hitting our Hoes at Ice-Cold.
The chicks and I get our own kick out of this, though. We cook up our own reasons to miss the gathering, then meet up somewhere else on our own at the very same time. Everytime the phone rings, or the message comes, we get a good laugh out of our evil plan.
Quite fun what. Haha.
Will I turn up tonight? Maybe, since it's Lunar New Year and they may pull out the mahjong table. But maybe not, because... you know.
There are only two gatherings I would attend these days.
You know who you are.
And count yourselves lucky, babes. 'Cos it means I like you guys - as a whole. =)
P.S.: Oh, and one other important reason why I absolutely hate large-group gatherings.
Inertia.
For goodness' sake, why can't you guys just decide on a place to go after dinner, and not stand outside the restaurant and then start chatting about other stuff before deciding on the next destination?!?!
Gawd.
That is, if I don't back out at the last minute.
Anyway, if I don't go, I don't think anyone would miss me. I've just been conveniently included in the yahoogroup. Ha.
I'm not one for class gatherings. Or any large-scale gathering for that matter.
In fact, I fear them.
I fear the conversations that might lead to something personally upsetting.
The last time I finally agreed to turn up at the SO3C JC gathering, I totally regretted it. TOTALLY.
The only reason why I turned up was to see my only-best-friend-in-class, PP. She the artist who sat next to me since secondary school and was always drawing me cartoons under our desks. She the buddy who always shielded me in JC while I was sleeping through all the classes.
That's what friends are for, man. They draw you cartoons to perk you up during a boring lesson, and cover your ass while you're up to no good.
At that silly gathering, all the other smarty-pants started embarking on some conversations of the boring kind: politics, economy, business, world, education. They talked anything but gossip and cock. Stuff I'm good at.
It was like everyone was trying to outdo one another with the kind of 'current' knowledge they had.
Gawd, they were like that even way back in JC. Which was probably why I was the outcast of the class. Heck, I was the J1 kid who hung out with the J2s, and eventually became the J2 senior that hung out with the J1s.
Please. Spare me your brains for once.
There's yet another gathering tonight, though a smaller-group one. My hall gang - my Madam-Wong/Mambo buddies.
These days, however, I am beginning to fear this particular gathering as well.
Simply because it has become a 'couple-couple' thing.
My chicks and I, we hate the couple-couple thing, we fear the questions that may come our way, and we think we are better off hitting our Hoes at Ice-Cold.
The chicks and I get our own kick out of this, though. We cook up our own reasons to miss the gathering, then meet up somewhere else on our own at the very same time. Everytime the phone rings, or the message comes, we get a good laugh out of our evil plan.
Quite fun what. Haha.
Will I turn up tonight? Maybe, since it's Lunar New Year and they may pull out the mahjong table. But maybe not, because... you know.
There are only two gatherings I would attend these days.
You know who you are.
And count yourselves lucky, babes. 'Cos it means I like you guys - as a whole. =)
P.S.: Oh, and one other important reason why I absolutely hate large-group gatherings.
Inertia.
For goodness' sake, why can't you guys just decide on a place to go after dinner, and not stand outside the restaurant and then start chatting about other stuff before deciding on the next destination?!?!
Gawd.
"You're Looking Good, My Dear"
I brought home an extra two hundred and forty bucks in my pocket today.
Part mahjong winnings, part training allowances.
Yes, after all these years, I'm finally paid, albeit just a pittance, for playing basketball.
Boy, am I delirious or what.
I visited a sista's place after dinner, and ended up at the mahjong table with her mom.
It was a strange sight: sista eventually went out to party with her other friends, while me and three other buddies stayed behind to entertain her mom.
More often than not, it was the other way round. Sista's mom turned out an entertainer herself.
Somehow, the mahjong-table conversation led to us kaypohs questioning sista's mom about sista's ex.
The ex whom sista found out to be two-timing her with another woman - after they had been together for like six or seven years, after they had bought an apartment together, and just before they were about to get married.
Without a doubt, she dumped him. It turned out good for her: she's now happily engaged to be married to someone else who seems to really love her, and whom she really adores.
It turned out, for me as well, to be the first of a series of broken relationships I was about to encounter in my recent life. Mine included.
Sista's mom had no qualms talking about the ex. She was even hilarious to some bit, as she spoke animatedly about everything.
I kept very silent while the other sistas pursued with their questioning. They seemed amused by Auntie, but I was getting a little affected.
Silently, I started thanking my mom for her seeming understanding about us.
I just hoped my sistas would never end up at the same mahjong table as my mom, and she would never speak of him in the same manner.
After all, she seemed to adore him before.
Some things, they can never be expected. Nor can they be prevented.
I so wanted to tell sista's mom: "Auntie, cannot really blame him. He's not the exceptional one. All men are like that."
*****
My hotpot-with-cabbage-rice dinner with A.Mag was peaceful and enjoyable.
We ended the meal with the two of us sitting in front of her huge TV, legs propped up on stools, sipping on freshly brewed green tea.
A few times, the conversations led to her asking about The Nephew. But mostly, I was just updating her on my life.
She seemed happy for my impending changes, but I knew she didn't really like the idea of me going away.
You know, A.Mag? You know very well the reason why I don't want to go too.
*****
"You are the bravest girl I've met. Please go on, but please don't go back."
I'm thankful for your encouragement, girl.
But I am too perplexed now to make a decision. One that I would never regret.
*****
Ok. Enough of talk, and thoughts, for tonight.
It's time I catch some sleep.
Training at ten in the morning.
Hope I make it.
Part mahjong winnings, part training allowances.
Yes, after all these years, I'm finally paid, albeit just a pittance, for playing basketball.
Boy, am I delirious or what.
I visited a sista's place after dinner, and ended up at the mahjong table with her mom.
It was a strange sight: sista eventually went out to party with her other friends, while me and three other buddies stayed behind to entertain her mom.
More often than not, it was the other way round. Sista's mom turned out an entertainer herself.
Somehow, the mahjong-table conversation led to us kaypohs questioning sista's mom about sista's ex.
The ex whom sista found out to be two-timing her with another woman - after they had been together for like six or seven years, after they had bought an apartment together, and just before they were about to get married.
Without a doubt, she dumped him. It turned out good for her: she's now happily engaged to be married to someone else who seems to really love her, and whom she really adores.
It turned out, for me as well, to be the first of a series of broken relationships I was about to encounter in my recent life. Mine included.
Sista's mom had no qualms talking about the ex. She was even hilarious to some bit, as she spoke animatedly about everything.
I kept very silent while the other sistas pursued with their questioning. They seemed amused by Auntie, but I was getting a little affected.
Silently, I started thanking my mom for her seeming understanding about us.
I just hoped my sistas would never end up at the same mahjong table as my mom, and she would never speak of him in the same manner.
After all, she seemed to adore him before.
Some things, they can never be expected. Nor can they be prevented.
I so wanted to tell sista's mom: "Auntie, cannot really blame him. He's not the exceptional one. All men are like that."
*****
My hotpot-with-cabbage-rice dinner with A.Mag was peaceful and enjoyable.
We ended the meal with the two of us sitting in front of her huge TV, legs propped up on stools, sipping on freshly brewed green tea.
A few times, the conversations led to her asking about The Nephew. But mostly, I was just updating her on my life.
She seemed happy for my impending changes, but I knew she didn't really like the idea of me going away.
You know, A.Mag? You know very well the reason why I don't want to go too.
*****
"You are the bravest girl I've met. Please go on, but please don't go back."
I'm thankful for your encouragement, girl.
But I am too perplexed now to make a decision. One that I would never regret.
*****
Ok. Enough of talk, and thoughts, for tonight.
It's time I catch some sleep.
Training at ten in the morning.
Hope I make it.
Monday, January 30, 2006
累了
Piper and Gracie had a really fun Lunar New Year.
They were running around my Ah Ma's place, scouring for crumbs of tidbits carelessly dropped upon the floor. They were playing with the kids, getting tortured by the same kids.
They were so busy having a good time, they missed their nap- and bed-times.
By the time we were finishing up our third round of mahjong at 1 in the morning, they were so zonked out, they couldn't care much less about the noise going on around them.
I caught Mom and her two furry grandkids snoozing at the couch, and forgot to 'pong'. =)
They were running around my Ah Ma's place, scouring for crumbs of tidbits carelessly dropped upon the floor. They were playing with the kids, getting tortured by the same kids.
They were so busy having a good time, they missed their nap- and bed-times.
By the time we were finishing up our third round of mahjong at 1 in the morning, they were so zonked out, they couldn't care much less about the noise going on around them.
I caught Mom and her two furry grandkids snoozing at the couch, and forgot to 'pong'. =)
头痛
I just couldn't keep my hands off my 'huat zai kueh', otherwise known as Kueh Bahlu to some.
Not especially when I was playing my rounds of mahjong.
Heh. Other than the huat zai kuehs I stuff into my mouth, I don't eat much during the new year.
My dietary cycle screws up some more.
I am sick.
I thought I'd succumb the bug before the new year.
Despite the last-minute resort to bottle after bottle of mineral water, I am still waking up with a headache, and coughing and sneezing away.
I hate this.
I am nursing a bad headache right now as I speak.
Either:
(a) I am famished,
(b) I am really sick,
(c) or, I have slept too much.
It's the kind of irritating headache that constricts your entire brain and causes this strange pressure upon your eyes.
I am dying... urgh.
*****
而孤单的滋味,谁都要面对
不只是你我会感觉到疲惫
当你孤单你会想起谁
你想不想找个人来陪
你的快乐伤悲只有我能体会
让我再陪你走一回
I found a way to get over the pangs of loneliness I fear so much.
I just sleep my loneliness away.
It works fine when you don't get plagued by nightmares.
Any side effect? Yes, possibly a very bad headache like the one I'm having now. Lethargy, maybe. And a very screwed-up day-night cycle.
I can't explain it.
I'm feeling this sense of desperation. Like I'm drowning in the deep blue sea, and I'm needing someone badly to save me.
Just that, no one has reached out his hand.
I wish I had learnt to be a stronger swimmer myself.
I don't really know what I am doing to myself.
I am just living by the moment.
Not especially when I was playing my rounds of mahjong.
Heh. Other than the huat zai kuehs I stuff into my mouth, I don't eat much during the new year.
My dietary cycle screws up some more.
I am sick.
I thought I'd succumb the bug before the new year.
Despite the last-minute resort to bottle after bottle of mineral water, I am still waking up with a headache, and coughing and sneezing away.
I hate this.
I am nursing a bad headache right now as I speak.
Either:
(a) I am famished,
(b) I am really sick,
(c) or, I have slept too much.
It's the kind of irritating headache that constricts your entire brain and causes this strange pressure upon your eyes.
I am dying... urgh.
*****
而孤单的滋味,谁都要面对
不只是你我会感觉到疲惫
当你孤单你会想起谁
你想不想找个人来陪
你的快乐伤悲只有我能体会
让我再陪你走一回
I found a way to get over the pangs of loneliness I fear so much.
I just sleep my loneliness away.
It works fine when you don't get plagued by nightmares.
Any side effect? Yes, possibly a very bad headache like the one I'm having now. Lethargy, maybe. And a very screwed-up day-night cycle.
I can't explain it.
I'm feeling this sense of desperation. Like I'm drowning in the deep blue sea, and I'm needing someone badly to save me.
Just that, no one has reached out his hand.
I wish I had learnt to be a stronger swimmer myself.
I don't really know what I am doing to myself.
I am just living by the moment.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Foul-Earred
Ah. Thank God for the 24-hour Cold Storage at Holland Village.
It just saved my ass from being kicked again by Mom.
Heng ah.
I was in the changing room trying out some clothes in the afternoon, when I noticed the side-seam of my thong was breaking up - barely held by a couple more threads.
Then, my imagination ran wild.
What if... I was walking obliviously along the streets of Orchard amongst the crowds and my thong just broke there and then?
I'd be caught dead in the middle of Orchard Road with my underwear at my ankles, between my Birkies.
Eeewww. The perils of wearing thongs.
*Shudders*
I was having late-night teh-alia with a friend, watching the second half of the Everton-Chelsea game, after getting my errands done.
We ended up somewhere along YCK because Gardens was dead quiet.
Friend said, "You ah. Tsk tsk tsk. Open mouth only, every other sentence also 他妈的."
To which I replied with a smile, "This is me. Take it or leave it."
*****
I have been spending some time with him.
We've been talking crap, joking, teasing, laughing.
Being ourselves.
So being ourselves, that I've been starting to hear once again his foul mouth at work.
The ka-ni-na's. The na-beh's. The fucking-du-lan's. The kam-lan's.
He's such a natural when he rattles off, he never fails to crack me up whenever I hear him speak that foul way to his friends.
Believe it or not, I miss that.
It felt good, and heartrending at the same time, to hear that again.
There are a lot, a lot of things I really, really miss.
It just saved my ass from being kicked again by Mom.
Heng ah.
I was in the changing room trying out some clothes in the afternoon, when I noticed the side-seam of my thong was breaking up - barely held by a couple more threads.
Then, my imagination ran wild.
What if... I was walking obliviously along the streets of Orchard amongst the crowds and my thong just broke there and then?
I'd be caught dead in the middle of Orchard Road with my underwear at my ankles, between my Birkies.
Eeewww. The perils of wearing thongs.
*Shudders*
I was having late-night teh-alia with a friend, watching the second half of the Everton-Chelsea game, after getting my errands done.
We ended up somewhere along YCK because Gardens was dead quiet.
Friend said, "You ah. Tsk tsk tsk. Open mouth only, every other sentence also 他妈的."
To which I replied with a smile, "This is me. Take it or leave it."
*****
I have been spending some time with him.
We've been talking crap, joking, teasing, laughing.
Being ourselves.
So being ourselves, that I've been starting to hear once again his foul mouth at work.
The ka-ni-na's. The na-beh's. The fucking-du-lan's. The kam-lan's.
He's such a natural when he rattles off, he never fails to crack me up whenever I hear him speak that foul way to his friends.
Believe it or not, I miss that.
It felt good, and heartrending at the same time, to hear that again.
There are a lot, a lot of things I really, really miss.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Just
I am a happy girl today.
Not ecstatically, jubilantly delirious. But just happy enough. =)
And, as usual, I managed to get some last-minute shopping done.
It's been going on like this for years. Me rushing from store to store, only to find some already closed for the holidays.
And then, reaching home late and getting hell from Mom for not coming home earlier to help with dinner preparation.
That's the mad-house I return to every Chinese New Year's eve for the reunion.
I'm booting out now.
There's a place I need to visit, to send some cakes and mandarins.
All of a sudden, I am somehow looking forward to the festivity again. =)
GXFC, peeps.
Not ecstatically, jubilantly delirious. But just happy enough. =)
And, as usual, I managed to get some last-minute shopping done.
It's been going on like this for years. Me rushing from store to store, only to find some already closed for the holidays.
And then, reaching home late and getting hell from Mom for not coming home earlier to help with dinner preparation.
That's the mad-house I return to every Chinese New Year's eve for the reunion.
I'm booting out now.
There's a place I need to visit, to send some cakes and mandarins.
All of a sudden, I am somehow looking forward to the festivity again. =)
GXFC, peeps.
Friday, January 27, 2006
"Michael"
It's quite a rare sight, for me at least - a face so charming it stays on your mind even after 12 hours.
Ah, fate has it that I visit a friend's shop in Ann Siang Hill during lunch and chance upon that face. That two-dimpled smile.
No, not like J's, though.
The best thing about being single?
It gives you the power and freedom to admire beauty, to harbor crushes, and to flirt with your eyes and a smile. Openly.
With no fear of treading on thin lines.
There's no thin line at all, in the first place.
Ouch.
I had my brows threaded again.
And this time, I went to the 'real thing' - a tiny ulu Indian beauty parlor tucked away in one corner on the third level of Orchard Plaza, complete with the smell of jasmine flowers and coconut oil and the pictures of Indian beauty queens and Indian Gods plastered all over the wall.
It took me 3 minutes to locate Orchard Plaza on streetdirectory.com.sg.
It was good, though. The job was done in 5 minutes and it was a much less painful experience. It cost me only seven bucks - half of what I used to pay.
And, the brows are much nicer.
I'm going back.
I only have one thing to say: I love those 'beauty' forums. Ha.
*****
"Look fwd to dinner on mon cny day 2 at my hs, my 'daughter'."
I am, too. Especially when it's a cabbage-rice-with-hotpot dinner. I love, love, love cabbage rice. And yam rice too.
The message struck me, though. With both warmth and bitterness to my heart.
On one hand, it's nice to know I'm like a daughter she never had.
On the other, the emotional attachments all around are killing me.
Bit by bit.
The Lunar New Year is just about three days away. Or even less.
I am quite dreading it, truth be told. And it's not just because I still haven't gotten the quintessential 'new' clothes yet.
I just don't know how different it will feel like for me this year. I can't bear to even imagine.
It'll surely be a much, much quieter occasion for me. No more cards, no more blackjacks.
For the first time in my life, I feel like flying away somewhere - somewhere else faraway from here, on my own - during my once-favorite festivity.
*****
I'm turning in early tonight.
Well, half past one is early, by my standard.
There are many more things I'd like to do. Posting a travel/photo-log. Revamping my page a little. And getting some reading done.
But I need some discipline tonight.
I have a big 'date' tomorrow at seven-thirty in the morning - with three men from Portland, over the video-call.
Don't wish me luck - I'm still uncertain if I do want it. =/
Ah, fate has it that I visit a friend's shop in Ann Siang Hill during lunch and chance upon that face. That two-dimpled smile.
No, not like J's, though.
The best thing about being single?
It gives you the power and freedom to admire beauty, to harbor crushes, and to flirt with your eyes and a smile. Openly.
With no fear of treading on thin lines.
There's no thin line at all, in the first place.
Ouch.
I had my brows threaded again.
And this time, I went to the 'real thing' - a tiny ulu Indian beauty parlor tucked away in one corner on the third level of Orchard Plaza, complete with the smell of jasmine flowers and coconut oil and the pictures of Indian beauty queens and Indian Gods plastered all over the wall.
It took me 3 minutes to locate Orchard Plaza on streetdirectory.com.sg.
It was good, though. The job was done in 5 minutes and it was a much less painful experience. It cost me only seven bucks - half of what I used to pay.
And, the brows are much nicer.
I'm going back.
I only have one thing to say: I love those 'beauty' forums. Ha.
*****
"Look fwd to dinner on mon cny day 2 at my hs, my 'daughter'."
I am, too. Especially when it's a cabbage-rice-with-hotpot dinner. I love, love, love cabbage rice. And yam rice too.
The message struck me, though. With both warmth and bitterness to my heart.
On one hand, it's nice to know I'm like a daughter she never had.
On the other, the emotional attachments all around are killing me.
Bit by bit.
The Lunar New Year is just about three days away. Or even less.
I am quite dreading it, truth be told. And it's not just because I still haven't gotten the quintessential 'new' clothes yet.
I just don't know how different it will feel like for me this year. I can't bear to even imagine.
It'll surely be a much, much quieter occasion for me. No more cards, no more blackjacks.
For the first time in my life, I feel like flying away somewhere - somewhere else faraway from here, on my own - during my once-favorite festivity.
*****
I'm turning in early tonight.
Well, half past one is early, by my standard.
There are many more things I'd like to do. Posting a travel/photo-log. Revamping my page a little. And getting some reading done.
But I need some discipline tonight.
I have a big 'date' tomorrow at seven-thirty in the morning - with three men from Portland, over the video-call.
Don't wish me luck - I'm still uncertain if I do want it. =/
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
J
Did I ever say I snubbed Jay once?
If I did, I'll say it once more.
I did. I really did! I snubbed that cutie-pie. And he was just there right in front of me, and our mutual friend was trying to introduce us.
All because I was a Mandarin-pop idiot then.
And I am so regretting it now.
Yes. Tease me. Laugh at me. Whatever.
I am nursing a crush too huge for me to handle right now.
Sigh...
I think about him when I'm cruising along the highway to his muffled voice.
I drool at him when I'm singing (and yes, I can sing his songs ok) to his droolsome face in the karaoke room.
I can watch "Initial D" over and over again. Yes, I shall buy that damned DVD.
Heck, I even drove like he did in the movie for a while after I first watched that show. Head leaning on my right arm propped against the window, left hand steering the wheel.
So cool.
Hey, I'm not that bimbo, ok.
That guy is a talent. He writes and he sings. And he's got the 'pai-kia' attitude. I like. To the core.
Though I do think he's gotta speak up a little; he's mumbling throughout his songs.
Why, oh why, oh why???
Ne'er mind. It's not the end of the world.
I just got to know another friend who does know him. Heh.
And I shall check up my contacts in Taipei.
Someone's gotta know him!
Do I sound like I'm getting loose in the head?
I think I might've lost it.
*****
借口
词 曲 编:周杰伦
翻着我们的照片
想念若隐若现
去年的冬天
我们笑得很甜
看着你哭泣的脸
对着我说再见
来不及听见
你已走得很远
也许你已经放弃我
也许已经很难回头
我知道是自己错过
请再给我一个理由
说你不爱我
就算是我不懂
能不能原谅我
请不要把分手当作你的请求
我知道坚持要走是你受伤的藉口
请你回头
我会陪你一直走到最后
就算没有结果
我也能够承受
我知道你的痛
是我给的承诺
你说给过我纵容
沉默是因为包容
如果要走
请你记得我
如果难过
请你忘了我
*****
By the way, I'm learning pretty fast with those Mandarin pops. Or, so my 'shifu' says.
She's impressed. And so am I.
Shifu, if I ever win the next Grammy for 'Best Newcomer in Karaoke', I'll be sure to thank you before I thank God.
=)
If I did, I'll say it once more.
I did. I really did! I snubbed that cutie-pie. And he was just there right in front of me, and our mutual friend was trying to introduce us.
All because I was a Mandarin-pop idiot then.
And I am so regretting it now.
Yes. Tease me. Laugh at me. Whatever.
I am nursing a crush too huge for me to handle right now.
Sigh...
I think about him when I'm cruising along the highway to his muffled voice.
I drool at him when I'm singing (and yes, I can sing his songs ok) to his droolsome face in the karaoke room.
I can watch "Initial D" over and over again. Yes, I shall buy that damned DVD.
Heck, I even drove like he did in the movie for a while after I first watched that show. Head leaning on my right arm propped against the window, left hand steering the wheel.
So cool.
Hey, I'm not that bimbo, ok.
That guy is a talent. He writes and he sings. And he's got the 'pai-kia' attitude. I like. To the core.
Though I do think he's gotta speak up a little; he's mumbling throughout his songs.
Why, oh why, oh why???
Ne'er mind. It's not the end of the world.
I just got to know another friend who does know him. Heh.
And I shall check up my contacts in Taipei.
Someone's gotta know him!
Do I sound like I'm getting loose in the head?
I think I might've lost it.
*****
借口
词 曲 编:周杰伦
翻着我们的照片
想念若隐若现
去年的冬天
我们笑得很甜
看着你哭泣的脸
对着我说再见
来不及听见
你已走得很远
也许你已经放弃我
也许已经很难回头
我知道是自己错过
请再给我一个理由
说你不爱我
就算是我不懂
能不能原谅我
请不要把分手当作你的请求
我知道坚持要走是你受伤的藉口
请你回头
我会陪你一直走到最后
就算没有结果
我也能够承受
我知道你的痛
是我给的承诺
你说给过我纵容
沉默是因为包容
如果要走
请你记得我
如果难过
请你忘了我
*****
By the way, I'm learning pretty fast with those Mandarin pops. Or, so my 'shifu' says.
She's impressed. And so am I.
Shifu, if I ever win the next Grammy for 'Best Newcomer in Karaoke', I'll be sure to thank you before I thank God.
=)
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Achy Breaky Heart
Tsk.
I was supposed to be cutting down on the drinks.
But there I was, unintentionally, drinking every single night in Phuket.
And just when I thought I needed a booze-break back home, I hit the Hoes for two nights since I'm back.
How's that for a 'resolution'?
Cannot make it.
For screaming out loud, I need a detox to save my skin. And more sleep too.
Facial therapists are ruthless women.
They squeeze you like they know no pain, like I owe them some big deal.
"I'll skip this one near your eye. Very sensitive, very painful."
Yah. Like the upper lip area and the lower jaws aren't.
Now, I'm officially "hiao" to my chicks.
Yes. Very true.
Since I've been back from sunny/dehydrating/damaging Phuket, I have been going through a self-administered home-treated intensive 'rehydrating' program - masks, scrubs, hair conditioners, whatever have you.
Almost all of the facial therapists I've been through, and even my skin doctor, have attributed my skin condition and all the little spots that keep popping up to one consistent factor: stress.
Come to think about it truthfully, I cannot deny. And I seem to agree.
Stress?
Yeah, much of the stress comes from my emotional wounds and my achy, pining heart.
*****
I finally have news of my long-awaited interview.
And I received it with much mixed emotions.
Of excitement, and then of fear.
I am no longer sure if this is what I really want.
See? That's where I get my stress.
Big Guy, I need some answers soon.
Thanks.
I was supposed to be cutting down on the drinks.
But there I was, unintentionally, drinking every single night in Phuket.
And just when I thought I needed a booze-break back home, I hit the Hoes for two nights since I'm back.
How's that for a 'resolution'?
Cannot make it.
For screaming out loud, I need a detox to save my skin. And more sleep too.
Facial therapists are ruthless women.
They squeeze you like they know no pain, like I owe them some big deal.
"I'll skip this one near your eye. Very sensitive, very painful."
Yah. Like the upper lip area and the lower jaws aren't.
Now, I'm officially "hiao" to my chicks.
Yes. Very true.
Since I've been back from sunny/dehydrating/damaging Phuket, I have been going through a self-administered home-treated intensive 'rehydrating' program - masks, scrubs, hair conditioners, whatever have you.
Almost all of the facial therapists I've been through, and even my skin doctor, have attributed my skin condition and all the little spots that keep popping up to one consistent factor: stress.
Come to think about it truthfully, I cannot deny. And I seem to agree.
Stress?
Yeah, much of the stress comes from my emotional wounds and my achy, pining heart.
*****
I finally have news of my long-awaited interview.
And I received it with much mixed emotions.
Of excitement, and then of fear.
I am no longer sure if this is what I really want.
See? That's where I get my stress.
Big Guy, I need some answers soon.
Thanks.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Of Blues and Greens
So, I've been to Phuket and back.
Lethargic still, but pleased with the short break away and with the blue blue skies and green green waters.
They never fail to make me truly happy.
On the last day of the trip before I left, we took a boat ride out to the Phi-Phi lslands.
Lovely, and where we snorkeled in the clear green waters, the islands were peaceful. Uninhabited.
Lovely lovely lovely.
I was in the waters on my own, peering down with deep concentration to make sure I didn't miss any 'rare' sight, when suddenly out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw a 'balloon' floating next to me in the waters.
Balloon? I turned my head to take a closer look and very much to my horrors, I realized the 'balloon', not less than six inches away from my face, was a jellyfish.
I scrambled away.
I didn't want to die in the Phi-Phi Islands, though the idea isn't really that bad. Ha.
We didn't stop by the isle where tourists would stay in resorts. That part of the Phi-Phi Islands that was demolished by the tsunamis slightly more than a year ago.
More than seven thousand people perished in that isle alone. When we passed by, much of the isle was still under construction.
It was just one of the many moments where I felt a pinch of bitterness in my heart.
We spent almost the entire day on the island-hopping trip.
I like the brown tinge on my skin now.
Phuket doesn't exactly offer the nicest beaches I think I would expect, but I am satisfied. I might not return for a while to come, but I am definitely going in search for more beautiful beaches around the world.
Much of Phuket seemed restored. Business was brisk and while I imagined it would have been an off-peak season for the tourist industry right now, the island was still pretty full of people.
The only tell-tale signs of ongoing construction were some parts of the beach. And the very treacherous pavements. If you didn't watch your step, I wouldn't be surprised if you tripped over the half-completed stone pavement or twisted an ankle.
Many a time, as I was walking amongst the crowds, I imagined the number of people that were on the island, walking exactly where I was, during Christmas of 2004.
Everytime I was in a restaurant or in a massage parlor or just about anywhere on the island, I imagined what it would have been like if I were right there in that spot when the waves hit the island.
I would have nowhere to run.
Whenever I had the chance to chat with a local, I never failed to ask where they had been when the fateful tsunamis hit.
There were many times during the trip I felt these tinges of sadness inside.
I cannot lie. There were also times during the trip where I felt uncertainty about my safety - though there didn't seem any impending danger in sight.
You'd never know what might happen, and when they might happen.
Just like those sun-revellers didn't know what tragedy was in store for them, the very next day after Christmas.
Things like this, they are the very reason why I never failed to tell him "I love you" everytime before a trip away from home.
I'd never know.
Despite the calamity, people in Phuket looked happy.
If I had never read the news or learned about the calamity before, I might never have known something that terrible had plagued the little island not too long ago.
I drew some strength from them.
Nothing can ever be that bad, as long as you get the chance to live on.
Life goes on and only in a uni-directional manner: forward.
It wasn't a trip of peace and tranquilty for me.
I was always drifting away from the group and sitting quietly deep in my own thoughts.
I thought of many things, and half the time, I was disturbed.
I felt sadness for the people who perished in the waves, but I felt happiness for the ones left behind who were facing every day with a smile on their faces.
The blue skies and the green waters gave me a peace in my heart that, at the very next moment, I wished I could've shared with someone else.
Up and down. To and fro. As I searched for something inside and outside of me.
That was how Phuket had been for me.
P.S.: Am loving my Lumix. =)
Lethargic still, but pleased with the short break away and with the blue blue skies and green green waters.
They never fail to make me truly happy.
On the last day of the trip before I left, we took a boat ride out to the Phi-Phi lslands.
Lovely, and where we snorkeled in the clear green waters, the islands were peaceful. Uninhabited.
Lovely lovely lovely.
I was in the waters on my own, peering down with deep concentration to make sure I didn't miss any 'rare' sight, when suddenly out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw a 'balloon' floating next to me in the waters.
Balloon? I turned my head to take a closer look and very much to my horrors, I realized the 'balloon', not less than six inches away from my face, was a jellyfish.
I scrambled away.
I didn't want to die in the Phi-Phi Islands, though the idea isn't really that bad. Ha.
We didn't stop by the isle where tourists would stay in resorts. That part of the Phi-Phi Islands that was demolished by the tsunamis slightly more than a year ago.
More than seven thousand people perished in that isle alone. When we passed by, much of the isle was still under construction.
It was just one of the many moments where I felt a pinch of bitterness in my heart.
We spent almost the entire day on the island-hopping trip.
I like the brown tinge on my skin now.
Phuket doesn't exactly offer the nicest beaches I think I would expect, but I am satisfied. I might not return for a while to come, but I am definitely going in search for more beautiful beaches around the world.
Much of Phuket seemed restored. Business was brisk and while I imagined it would have been an off-peak season for the tourist industry right now, the island was still pretty full of people.
The only tell-tale signs of ongoing construction were some parts of the beach. And the very treacherous pavements. If you didn't watch your step, I wouldn't be surprised if you tripped over the half-completed stone pavement or twisted an ankle.
Many a time, as I was walking amongst the crowds, I imagined the number of people that were on the island, walking exactly where I was, during Christmas of 2004.
Everytime I was in a restaurant or in a massage parlor or just about anywhere on the island, I imagined what it would have been like if I were right there in that spot when the waves hit the island.
I would have nowhere to run.
Whenever I had the chance to chat with a local, I never failed to ask where they had been when the fateful tsunamis hit.
There were many times during the trip I felt these tinges of sadness inside.
I cannot lie. There were also times during the trip where I felt uncertainty about my safety - though there didn't seem any impending danger in sight.
You'd never know what might happen, and when they might happen.
Just like those sun-revellers didn't know what tragedy was in store for them, the very next day after Christmas.
Things like this, they are the very reason why I never failed to tell him "I love you" everytime before a trip away from home.
I'd never know.
Despite the calamity, people in Phuket looked happy.
If I had never read the news or learned about the calamity before, I might never have known something that terrible had plagued the little island not too long ago.
I drew some strength from them.
Nothing can ever be that bad, as long as you get the chance to live on.
Life goes on and only in a uni-directional manner: forward.
It wasn't a trip of peace and tranquilty for me.
I was always drifting away from the group and sitting quietly deep in my own thoughts.
I thought of many things, and half the time, I was disturbed.
I felt sadness for the people who perished in the waves, but I felt happiness for the ones left behind who were facing every day with a smile on their faces.
The blue skies and the green waters gave me a peace in my heart that, at the very next moment, I wished I could've shared with someone else.
Up and down. To and fro. As I searched for something inside and outside of me.
That was how Phuket had been for me.
P.S.: Am loving my Lumix. =)
Friday, January 20, 2006
Star-fuck
It's almost two in the morning, but I'm living by Singapore time.
So, it's almost three for me.
I'm beat. I'm just sneaking in some writing before my Internet day-pass expires in about an hour's time.
So. Phuket's not that bad, but it's also not been that great either.
Hopefully, tomorrow gets better when we take a boat ride out to the islands.
The weather's fantastic, though. Love the sun, and the brown it's giving my skin.
Today's bum-around day.
I woke up late, had a late brunch, then hit the beach for a couple of hours.
I am not quite loving the beach here, though.
Way too crowded. And the water's murky. Eeew.
I so miss Boracay.
Probably four-fifths of the tourist population here are Caucasians.
And of these, half the crowd are probably second-honeymooners - middle-aged folks who look old enough to be my parents. Maybe, even grandparents.
I don't quite mind them. Except when the old grannies start baring their droopy boobs at the beach.
Hmm.
I am beginning to conjure up a warped definition of 'nudist camp' in my mind.
Eeeewwww!
I was pretty glad the shopping scene here didn't quite seem to cut it for me.
I'm not quite the sort to buy those stupid "Starfucks" or "McShit" tees.
That was until I saw... the Boots store.
My one and only weakness in Bangkok, and now Phuket.
I just went crazy. I blew my budget through and through in one single shopping trip.
Star-fuck.
*****
You know what?
I think you'll like Thai massage as much as I do. =)
So, it's almost three for me.
I'm beat. I'm just sneaking in some writing before my Internet day-pass expires in about an hour's time.
So. Phuket's not that bad, but it's also not been that great either.
Hopefully, tomorrow gets better when we take a boat ride out to the islands.
The weather's fantastic, though. Love the sun, and the brown it's giving my skin.
Today's bum-around day.
I woke up late, had a late brunch, then hit the beach for a couple of hours.
I am not quite loving the beach here, though.
Way too crowded. And the water's murky. Eeew.
I so miss Boracay.
Probably four-fifths of the tourist population here are Caucasians.
And of these, half the crowd are probably second-honeymooners - middle-aged folks who look old enough to be my parents. Maybe, even grandparents.
I don't quite mind them. Except when the old grannies start baring their droopy boobs at the beach.
Hmm.
I am beginning to conjure up a warped definition of 'nudist camp' in my mind.
Eeeewwww!
I was pretty glad the shopping scene here didn't quite seem to cut it for me.
I'm not quite the sort to buy those stupid "Starfucks" or "McShit" tees.
That was until I saw... the Boots store.
My one and only weakness in Bangkok, and now Phuket.
I just went crazy. I blew my budget through and through in one single shopping trip.
Star-fuck.
*****
You know what?
I think you'll like Thai massage as much as I do. =)
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Phooket
Phuket's not that fun... yet.
Still been stuck in the meeting room, just when the sun is out.
It's alright. I'll wait for Thursday and Friday.
Oh, and I'm gonna swear off the cheap massages here. It's amateurish-bad, and I'm not totally relaxed more than half the time, simply because I'm too wary of what the masseuse might be up to.
All because of one bad experience in Bangkok.
The masseuse I had tonight is 'new'. According to her, or rather, from what I could make out from her, today's her first day at work in Phuket.
She's been working in Bangkok for the past three years.
Which made me all the more 'worried'.
In her singing Thai voice, she asked, "What sport you play?"
After a few 'erms' and 'hahs', I figured out what she was asking, and replied, "Oh, basketball."
"Ah! Very strong! You are very strong."
And she meant my thighs. I supposed, because she asked exactly while she was massaging my thighs.
Hmm.
One other reason why I'm swearing off these off-the-streets massages.
I specifically told her once and again to stay off my left ankle.
Nooooo. None of that was heard.
I ended up limping for a while after I left the parlor.
Grrrr.
Hmph. I'll do the spa before I leave.
*****
It's tough, fending off unwanted affection from a good buddy - subtlely.
I never expected this to happen. I thought he was my brudda, and me his sista.
An invitation to fly me from Phuket to Bangkok this Friday, then back to Singapore - even though I'm already scheduled to fly straight back to Singapore from here.
Seems tempting, but this is just so not normal.
And it's tough, trying to tell him "thanks, but no thanks" without hurting him.
I wish we hadn't ended up like this, because I never wanted to have to worry about you.
I had other bigger issues to worry about, and you were once my solace.
Now, I have one buddy less - all because I can never ask you out again.
I'm sorry, brudda.
Still been stuck in the meeting room, just when the sun is out.
It's alright. I'll wait for Thursday and Friday.
Oh, and I'm gonna swear off the cheap massages here. It's amateurish-bad, and I'm not totally relaxed more than half the time, simply because I'm too wary of what the masseuse might be up to.
All because of one bad experience in Bangkok.
The masseuse I had tonight is 'new'. According to her, or rather, from what I could make out from her, today's her first day at work in Phuket.
She's been working in Bangkok for the past three years.
Which made me all the more 'worried'.
In her singing Thai voice, she asked, "What sport you play?"
After a few 'erms' and 'hahs', I figured out what she was asking, and replied, "Oh, basketball."
"Ah! Very strong! You are very strong."
And she meant my thighs. I supposed, because she asked exactly while she was massaging my thighs.
Hmm.
One other reason why I'm swearing off these off-the-streets massages.
I specifically told her once and again to stay off my left ankle.
Nooooo. None of that was heard.
I ended up limping for a while after I left the parlor.
Grrrr.
Hmph. I'll do the spa before I leave.
*****
It's tough, fending off unwanted affection from a good buddy - subtlely.
I never expected this to happen. I thought he was my brudda, and me his sista.
An invitation to fly me from Phuket to Bangkok this Friday, then back to Singapore - even though I'm already scheduled to fly straight back to Singapore from here.
Seems tempting, but this is just so not normal.
And it's tough, trying to tell him "thanks, but no thanks" without hurting him.
I wish we hadn't ended up like this, because I never wanted to have to worry about you.
I had other bigger issues to worry about, and you were once my solace.
Now, I have one buddy less - all because I can never ask you out again.
I'm sorry, brudda.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Prank
I have never really been labelled the 'prankster' or the 'joker' of the gang, but for a girl, I must say I've been pretty kuai-lan enough.
Recent prank?
I've been a willing accomplice in a 'scam'. A 'fraud'.
Hey, I kinda think I do know fun after all.
Haha. It'd be a damn kick if we pull it through.
Wish you luck! =)
Recent prank?
I've been a willing accomplice in a 'scam'. A 'fraud'.
Hey, I kinda think I do know fun after all.
Haha. It'd be a damn kick if we pull it through.
Wish you luck! =)
霸王䬸
I finally satisfied my prata craving tonight - and almost got to eat it for free as well.
I was having a very late dinner (again) and catching up on kopi-o with she-who-is-in-the-process-of-a-name-change-and-shall-be-called-Forest-in-the-interim (*pants*), when I decided it was really time for me to go.
We both got up and left. She got to her car, I continued walking to mine. Less than minute after she had driven off, I received a phonecall.
"Eh. Did we pay?"
Damn.
For the sake of getting some karma points, I walked back and sheepishly paid my dues.
People in this world have really lost some sense of humor, that's all I have to say.
I shall leave the restaurant unnamed.
*****
I really, really ought to be sleeping right now.
I am just so wide awake when I shouldn't be.
Weirdness has got to have some limits, no?
G'night, world of sane people.
I was having a very late dinner (again) and catching up on kopi-o with she-who-is-in-the-process-of-a-name-change-and-shall-be-called-Forest-in-the-interim (*pants*), when I decided it was really time for me to go.
We both got up and left. She got to her car, I continued walking to mine. Less than minute after she had driven off, I received a phonecall.
"Eh. Did we pay?"
Damn.
For the sake of getting some karma points, I walked back and sheepishly paid my dues.
People in this world have really lost some sense of humor, that's all I have to say.
I shall leave the restaurant unnamed.
*****
I really, really ought to be sleeping right now.
I am just so wide awake when I shouldn't be.
Weirdness has got to have some limits, no?
G'night, world of sane people.
Me?
Seven Secrets of High-Energy People
By Mira Kirshenbaum
Do they sleep 12 hours a day or run marathons? No. The most powerful energy sources are in your soul, not your body. Learn how to create more joy and meaning in your life.
Emotional Energy
"The single biggest difference between people who get what they want and people who don't is energy," says Mira Kirshenbaum, psychotherapist and clinical director of the Chestnut Hill Institute in Boston. In this excerpt from her new book, The Emotional Energy Factor, she explains how to harness it so you can live the life of your dreams.
There's an energy crisis in America, and it has nothing to do with fossil fuels. Millions of us get up each morning already weary over what the day holds. "I just can't get started," people say. Or, "I feel drained just thinking about the long hours ahead." But it's not physical energy that most of us lack. Sure, we could all use extra sleep and a better diet. But in truth, people are healthier today than at any time in history. I can almost guarantee that if you long for more energy, the problem is not with your body.
What you're seeking is not the adrenaline-filled, bounce-off-the-walls kind of energy. It's emotional energy. It's an aliveness of the mind and spirit that connects you to the vitality and fun of life. Yet, sad to say, life sometimes seems designed to exhaust our supply. We work too hard. We have family obligations. We encounter emergencies and personal crises. No wonder so many of us suffer from emotional fatigue, a kind of utter exhaustion of the spirit, a sense that we're just going through the motions.
And yet we all know people who are filled with exuberance and joy, despite the sometimes grim external circumstances of their lives. Even as a child, I observed people who were dirt-poor or disabled or whose physical energy had been sapped by disease, but who nonetheless faced life with optimism and vigor. Consider Laura Hillenbrand, who, despite having been diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome, wrote the best-selling book Seabiscuit, about a horse who becomes an unlikely champion. Hillenbrand barely had enough physical energy to drag herself out of bed to write. But she was fueled by having a story she cared about and wanted to share. Or think of the painter Frida Kahlo, who endured excruciating pain her entire adult life, yet produced vibrant, deeply felt canvases.
Emotional energy came to the rescue. The best news? Unlike physical energy, which is finite and diminishes with age, emotional energy is unlimited and has nothing to do with genes or upbringing. So how do you get it? You can't simply tell yourself to be positive. You must take action. Here are seven practical strategies that work.
Simple Strategies
1. Do something genuinely new.
Very little that's new occurs in our lives. The impact of this sameness on our emotional energy is gradual, but huge: It's like a tire with a slow leak. You don't notice it at first, but eventually you'll get a flat. It's up to you to plug the leak -- even though there are always a dozen reasons to stay stuck in your rut. That's where Maura, 36, a waitress and would-be caterer, found herself a year ago.
Fortunately, Maura had a lifeline -- a group of women friends who meet regularly to discuss their lives "like on Sex and the City," she says, "but without the sex, the city and the gorgeous clothes!" The women's lively discussions about how to shake up their lives spurred Maura to make small but nevertheless life-altering changes. She joined a gym in the next town. She took up yoga. She changed her look with a short haircut and new black T-shirts. Eventually, Maura gathered the courage to quit her job and devote herself full time to her fledgling catering business.
Here's a challenge: If it's something you wouldn't ordinarily do, do it. Try a cuisine you've never eaten. Drive home via a different, scenic route. Listen to music you'd ordinarily tune out. You'll discover that small gestures pack a powerful emotional energy punch.
2. Reclaim life's meaning.
So many of the patients in my psychotherapy practice tell me that their lives used to have meaning, but that somewhere along the line things went stale. The foundation is there, but the urgency is missing.
The first step in solving this meaning shortage is to figure out what you really care about, then do something about it. That's what meaning is: a heartfelt concern that is woven into your everyday life. A case in point is Ivy, 57, a pioneer in investment banking. "I mistakenly believed that all the money I made would mean something," she says. "But I feel rudderless, like a 22-year-old wondering what to do with her life." Ivy's solution? She started a program that shows Wall Streeters how to donate time and money to underprivileged children. In the process, Ivy infused meaning into her own life.
3. Put yourself in the fun zone.
Most of us grown-ups are seriously fun-deprived, and it shows in our flagging energy levels. High-energy people have the same day-to-day grinds as the rest of us, but they manage to find something enjoyable in every situation. A real-estate broker I know, whose work load is enormous, keeps herself amused -- and energized -- on the job by mentally redecorating the houses she shows to clients. "I love imagining what even the most dilapidated fixer-upper could look like with a little TLC," she says. "It's a challenge -- and the least desirable properties are usually the most fun."
We all define fun differently, of course, but I can vouch for this: If you lighten up and inject just a bit of it into your day, your energy will zoom.
4. Bid farewell to guilt and regret.
Everyone's past is filled with regrets, mistakes, and missed opportunities that still cause pain. These feelings are an index of our humanity, evidence that we have a heart and a conscience. But from an emotional energy point of view, they are deadweights that keep us from moving forward. While they can't merely be willed away, I do recommend you give yourself a good talking-to. Remind yourself that everyone has negative experiences. But whatever happened is in the past, and nothing can change that. Holding on to the memory only allows the damage to continue into the present.
5. Keep your flywheel spinning.
People always talk about finding a passion, but something that exalted can end up being more draining than energizing. That's why I talk about flywheels, mechanical devices that store energy, then give it back to you as needed. High-energy people always have a flywheel -- an interest they connect with, no matter how eccentric. For Leslie, 29, that flywheel is collecting antique recipes. She loves to browse secondhand bookstores for old cookbooks. "I feel like an archaeologist who finds a rare dinosaur bone, only I bring the dinosaur back to life," she says.
If you don't have a flywheel, find one. Anything fun and absorbing will do, from bike riding to gardening. Anticipating the activity can get you up in the morning and get you through an otherwise blah day.
6. Make up your mind.
Say you've been thinking about cutting your hair short. Will it look stylish -- or too extreme? You endlessly mull it over, debate the matter with friends. Having the decision hanging over your head is a huge energy drain. High-energy people make a choice and don't look back. The emotionally exhausted stay stuck, forever vacillating. Every time you can't decide, you burden yourself with alternatives. How to break the impasse? Quit thinking that you have to make the right decision; instead, make a good-enough decision. Any decision. Decide what you're going to eat tonight. Then decide about the haircut. That will get you in the ballpark of deciding about your future. In emotional energy land, what matters is ending your ambivalence.
7. Give to get.
Emotional energy has a kind of magical quality: The more you give, the more you get back. This underscores the fundamental difference between emotional energy and physical energy. With the latter, you have to get it to be able to give it. With emotional energy, however, you get it by giving it.
But you have to take specific action. Start by asking everyone you meet, "How are you?" as if you really want to know, then listen to the reply. Be the one who hears. Most of us also need to smile more often. If you don't smile at the person you love first thing in the morning, you're sucking energy out of your relationship. Finally, help another person -- and make the help real, concrete. Give a massage to someone you love, run an errand for him, or cook her dinner. Then, expand the circle to work. Try going through an entire day asking yourself what you'd do if your goal were to be helpful rather than efficient.
After all, if it's true that what goes around comes around, why not make sure that what's circulating around you is the good stuff?
From the book, The Emotional Energy Factor: The Secrets High-Energy People Use to Beat Emotional Fatigue. Copyright 2003 by Mira Kirshenbaum. Published by arrangement with the Bantam Dell Publishing Group.
*****
Sigh.
No wonder even my boss tells me I look demotivated and lacklustre at work.
I like strategy numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, and 6. The last one has worked for me once as well. Hmm... that's practically all of them I like.
But maybe I should start by conciously reminding myself to stop sighing all the time.
By Mira Kirshenbaum
Do they sleep 12 hours a day or run marathons? No. The most powerful energy sources are in your soul, not your body. Learn how to create more joy and meaning in your life.
Emotional Energy
"The single biggest difference between people who get what they want and people who don't is energy," says Mira Kirshenbaum, psychotherapist and clinical director of the Chestnut Hill Institute in Boston. In this excerpt from her new book, The Emotional Energy Factor, she explains how to harness it so you can live the life of your dreams.
There's an energy crisis in America, and it has nothing to do with fossil fuels. Millions of us get up each morning already weary over what the day holds. "I just can't get started," people say. Or, "I feel drained just thinking about the long hours ahead." But it's not physical energy that most of us lack. Sure, we could all use extra sleep and a better diet. But in truth, people are healthier today than at any time in history. I can almost guarantee that if you long for more energy, the problem is not with your body.
What you're seeking is not the adrenaline-filled, bounce-off-the-walls kind of energy. It's emotional energy. It's an aliveness of the mind and spirit that connects you to the vitality and fun of life. Yet, sad to say, life sometimes seems designed to exhaust our supply. We work too hard. We have family obligations. We encounter emergencies and personal crises. No wonder so many of us suffer from emotional fatigue, a kind of utter exhaustion of the spirit, a sense that we're just going through the motions.
And yet we all know people who are filled with exuberance and joy, despite the sometimes grim external circumstances of their lives. Even as a child, I observed people who were dirt-poor or disabled or whose physical energy had been sapped by disease, but who nonetheless faced life with optimism and vigor. Consider Laura Hillenbrand, who, despite having been diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome, wrote the best-selling book Seabiscuit, about a horse who becomes an unlikely champion. Hillenbrand barely had enough physical energy to drag herself out of bed to write. But she was fueled by having a story she cared about and wanted to share. Or think of the painter Frida Kahlo, who endured excruciating pain her entire adult life, yet produced vibrant, deeply felt canvases.
Emotional energy came to the rescue. The best news? Unlike physical energy, which is finite and diminishes with age, emotional energy is unlimited and has nothing to do with genes or upbringing. So how do you get it? You can't simply tell yourself to be positive. You must take action. Here are seven practical strategies that work.
Simple Strategies
1. Do something genuinely new.
Very little that's new occurs in our lives. The impact of this sameness on our emotional energy is gradual, but huge: It's like a tire with a slow leak. You don't notice it at first, but eventually you'll get a flat. It's up to you to plug the leak -- even though there are always a dozen reasons to stay stuck in your rut. That's where Maura, 36, a waitress and would-be caterer, found herself a year ago.
Fortunately, Maura had a lifeline -- a group of women friends who meet regularly to discuss their lives "like on Sex and the City," she says, "but without the sex, the city and the gorgeous clothes!" The women's lively discussions about how to shake up their lives spurred Maura to make small but nevertheless life-altering changes. She joined a gym in the next town. She took up yoga. She changed her look with a short haircut and new black T-shirts. Eventually, Maura gathered the courage to quit her job and devote herself full time to her fledgling catering business.
Here's a challenge: If it's something you wouldn't ordinarily do, do it. Try a cuisine you've never eaten. Drive home via a different, scenic route. Listen to music you'd ordinarily tune out. You'll discover that small gestures pack a powerful emotional energy punch.
2. Reclaim life's meaning.
So many of the patients in my psychotherapy practice tell me that their lives used to have meaning, but that somewhere along the line things went stale. The foundation is there, but the urgency is missing.
The first step in solving this meaning shortage is to figure out what you really care about, then do something about it. That's what meaning is: a heartfelt concern that is woven into your everyday life. A case in point is Ivy, 57, a pioneer in investment banking. "I mistakenly believed that all the money I made would mean something," she says. "But I feel rudderless, like a 22-year-old wondering what to do with her life." Ivy's solution? She started a program that shows Wall Streeters how to donate time and money to underprivileged children. In the process, Ivy infused meaning into her own life.
3. Put yourself in the fun zone.
Most of us grown-ups are seriously fun-deprived, and it shows in our flagging energy levels. High-energy people have the same day-to-day grinds as the rest of us, but they manage to find something enjoyable in every situation. A real-estate broker I know, whose work load is enormous, keeps herself amused -- and energized -- on the job by mentally redecorating the houses she shows to clients. "I love imagining what even the most dilapidated fixer-upper could look like with a little TLC," she says. "It's a challenge -- and the least desirable properties are usually the most fun."
We all define fun differently, of course, but I can vouch for this: If you lighten up and inject just a bit of it into your day, your energy will zoom.
4. Bid farewell to guilt and regret.
Everyone's past is filled with regrets, mistakes, and missed opportunities that still cause pain. These feelings are an index of our humanity, evidence that we have a heart and a conscience. But from an emotional energy point of view, they are deadweights that keep us from moving forward. While they can't merely be willed away, I do recommend you give yourself a good talking-to. Remind yourself that everyone has negative experiences. But whatever happened is in the past, and nothing can change that. Holding on to the memory only allows the damage to continue into the present.
5. Keep your flywheel spinning.
People always talk about finding a passion, but something that exalted can end up being more draining than energizing. That's why I talk about flywheels, mechanical devices that store energy, then give it back to you as needed. High-energy people always have a flywheel -- an interest they connect with, no matter how eccentric. For Leslie, 29, that flywheel is collecting antique recipes. She loves to browse secondhand bookstores for old cookbooks. "I feel like an archaeologist who finds a rare dinosaur bone, only I bring the dinosaur back to life," she says.
If you don't have a flywheel, find one. Anything fun and absorbing will do, from bike riding to gardening. Anticipating the activity can get you up in the morning and get you through an otherwise blah day.
6. Make up your mind.
Say you've been thinking about cutting your hair short. Will it look stylish -- or too extreme? You endlessly mull it over, debate the matter with friends. Having the decision hanging over your head is a huge energy drain. High-energy people make a choice and don't look back. The emotionally exhausted stay stuck, forever vacillating. Every time you can't decide, you burden yourself with alternatives. How to break the impasse? Quit thinking that you have to make the right decision; instead, make a good-enough decision. Any decision. Decide what you're going to eat tonight. Then decide about the haircut. That will get you in the ballpark of deciding about your future. In emotional energy land, what matters is ending your ambivalence.
7. Give to get.
Emotional energy has a kind of magical quality: The more you give, the more you get back. This underscores the fundamental difference between emotional energy and physical energy. With the latter, you have to get it to be able to give it. With emotional energy, however, you get it by giving it.
But you have to take specific action. Start by asking everyone you meet, "How are you?" as if you really want to know, then listen to the reply. Be the one who hears. Most of us also need to smile more often. If you don't smile at the person you love first thing in the morning, you're sucking energy out of your relationship. Finally, help another person -- and make the help real, concrete. Give a massage to someone you love, run an errand for him, or cook her dinner. Then, expand the circle to work. Try going through an entire day asking yourself what you'd do if your goal were to be helpful rather than efficient.
After all, if it's true that what goes around comes around, why not make sure that what's circulating around you is the good stuff?
From the book, The Emotional Energy Factor: The Secrets High-Energy People Use to Beat Emotional Fatigue. Copyright 2003 by Mira Kirshenbaum. Published by arrangement with the Bantam Dell Publishing Group.
*****
Sigh.
No wonder even my boss tells me I look demotivated and lacklustre at work.
I like strategy numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, and 6. The last one has worked for me once as well. Hmm... that's practically all of them I like.
But maybe I should start by conciously reminding myself to stop sighing all the time.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
W.i.d.e A.w.a.k.e
Tsk. I slept so much in the day, now I don't feel like sleeping.
Ok, wait. Let me re-phrase that one.
I would like to sleep, but I don't feel like I should be now.
Hiya. Still doesn't sound quite right.
Basically: want to sleep, but cannot sleep.
All because I'm guilt-ridden by the amount of work left undone.
Tsk.
So it has been decided - by me for myself - that I would sign up for Ashtanga when the evening classes begin in February.
Sigh. I hope I am making worth of my money - and getting some toned muscles and six-pack abs out of it.
I'm not going to waste time with Yoga classes in gyms. I just don't seem to think they are 'pro' enough.
I'm going straight to a shala. I'm gonna put my money on the gurus.
I made myself a new Taiwanese friend today.
If I hadn't known him today, I'd never have realized how bad my spoken Chinese is.
I couldn't even hold a proper man-versus-woman, marriage-versus-kids argument with the guy.
I absolutely hated it when I had to switch to the English language mid-way through my statement, just to make my point.
Urgh. I suck.
Don't be surprised if I start requesting to converse in Mandarin from now on.
Ah-hem... perfect Mandarin, please.
Ok, wait. Let me re-phrase that one.
I would like to sleep, but I don't feel like I should be now.
Hiya. Still doesn't sound quite right.
Basically: want to sleep, but cannot sleep.
All because I'm guilt-ridden by the amount of work left undone.
Tsk.
So it has been decided - by me for myself - that I would sign up for Ashtanga when the evening classes begin in February.
Sigh. I hope I am making worth of my money - and getting some toned muscles and six-pack abs out of it.
I'm not going to waste time with Yoga classes in gyms. I just don't seem to think they are 'pro' enough.
I'm going straight to a shala. I'm gonna put my money on the gurus.
I made myself a new Taiwanese friend today.
If I hadn't known him today, I'd never have realized how bad my spoken Chinese is.
I couldn't even hold a proper man-versus-woman, marriage-versus-kids argument with the guy.
I absolutely hated it when I had to switch to the English language mid-way through my statement, just to make my point.
Urgh. I suck.
Don't be surprised if I start requesting to converse in Mandarin from now on.
Ah-hem... perfect Mandarin, please.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Sinned
Last night, I took a trip to sin city.
First, it was char kuey teow, carrot cake, chicken wings, satay, murtabak, bee hoon goreng and more carrot cake for dinner.
Then, it was chocolate fondue, crepes with chocolate sauce and a hot dark chocolate drink at Max Brenner for dessert.
And then, I finished the very sinful but satisfying night with two pints of ice-cold Hoe.
No wonder I was knocked out cold today.
It was an amusing girl-talk around the dessert table.
It started with me trying to explain the confusing drama taking place in my family.
Then, one by one, around the table, similar stories began spilling out.
"Oh, my brother got divorced too..."
So, amongst the six of us, at least four brothers are experiencing marital woes.
Sigh. Why am I not getting surprised anymore?
I am no longer sure if I should feel lucky to be alone, or not.
If it's not love, I don't know what else I can believe in anymore.
First, it was char kuey teow, carrot cake, chicken wings, satay, murtabak, bee hoon goreng and more carrot cake for dinner.
Then, it was chocolate fondue, crepes with chocolate sauce and a hot dark chocolate drink at Max Brenner for dessert.
And then, I finished the very sinful but satisfying night with two pints of ice-cold Hoe.
No wonder I was knocked out cold today.
It was an amusing girl-talk around the dessert table.
It started with me trying to explain the confusing drama taking place in my family.
Then, one by one, around the table, similar stories began spilling out.
"Oh, my brother got divorced too..."
So, amongst the six of us, at least four brothers are experiencing marital woes.
Sigh. Why am I not getting surprised anymore?
I am no longer sure if I should feel lucky to be alone, or not.
If it's not love, I don't know what else I can believe in anymore.
Blue-Green
Joke #527 went: "Wah, your phone very heavy hor?"
Yes, Boss. It is.
Sigh.
*****
For the umpteenth time, someone asked, "Is green your favorite color? Why everything green green one?"
I know. It's getting pretty obvious.
I was out with in my olive-grey pants, a white polo with black stripes but green on the collar and sleeve-ends, a big bright green bag and a dark green umbrella (yes, the rain is coming back, by the way).
The very first time someone else asked that same question, I replied with a counter-question, complete with wide-eyed amazement: "Eh? How you know ah?"
"Duh. Because you wear green almost every other day?"
Haha. Come to think of it, it's pretty true.
I have green on me everyday, in fact - my everyday accessory of the moment is a dark-green handbag made of the softest-of-soft leather. Mmm... feels good, looks good. And on it, I have garnished with a green woolly rosette and a big green luggage tag that says "J".
(Friend who didn't know my Chinese name: "Why 'J' ah?" Me without much of a second thought: "Oh, 'J' for Jay Chou mah." And that exchange took place a few days after I watched 'Initial D' for the first time. LOL.)
Oh, and my favorite bag of all time is this recently-acquired big bright green bag. =)
It is just so 'me' and goes with almost everything, I think I can just throw away all my other bags.
For some reasons, it cost me only all of twenty bucks. But I treat it like precious. I stuff it with paper and keep it in my wardrobe when it's resting at home. And I use it only sparingly because I'm gonna make it last my lifetime.
Yeah, just imagine Old GrandFatmama with her big bright green bag. Cool.
*****
I don't know why I'm talking about green, but I suppose it could be because I'm feeling a little blue.
The effects of sleep-deprivation over the past few days hit me today. I've slept almost the entire day but I am still feeling groggy.
And I'm not supposed to be so, because I have tons of work to do this weekend.
I am so not looking forward to Phuket. =(
Yes, Boss. It is.
Sigh.
*****
For the umpteenth time, someone asked, "Is green your favorite color? Why everything green green one?"
I know. It's getting pretty obvious.
I was out with in my olive-grey pants, a white polo with black stripes but green on the collar and sleeve-ends, a big bright green bag and a dark green umbrella (yes, the rain is coming back, by the way).
The very first time someone else asked that same question, I replied with a counter-question, complete with wide-eyed amazement: "Eh? How you know ah?"
"Duh. Because you wear green almost every other day?"
Haha. Come to think of it, it's pretty true.
I have green on me everyday, in fact - my everyday accessory of the moment is a dark-green handbag made of the softest-of-soft leather. Mmm... feels good, looks good. And on it, I have garnished with a green woolly rosette and a big green luggage tag that says "J".
(Friend who didn't know my Chinese name: "Why 'J' ah?" Me without much of a second thought: "Oh, 'J' for Jay Chou mah." And that exchange took place a few days after I watched 'Initial D' for the first time. LOL.)
Oh, and my favorite bag of all time is this recently-acquired big bright green bag. =)
It is just so 'me' and goes with almost everything, I think I can just throw away all my other bags.
For some reasons, it cost me only all of twenty bucks. But I treat it like precious. I stuff it with paper and keep it in my wardrobe when it's resting at home. And I use it only sparingly because I'm gonna make it last my lifetime.
Yeah, just imagine Old GrandFatmama with her big bright green bag. Cool.
*****
I don't know why I'm talking about green, but I suppose it could be because I'm feeling a little blue.
The effects of sleep-deprivation over the past few days hit me today. I've slept almost the entire day but I am still feeling groggy.
And I'm not supposed to be so, because I have tons of work to do this weekend.
I am so not looking forward to Phuket. =(
Friday, January 13, 2006
*Rated R For Violent Language Content
Fuck.
No prata. No nothing.
It's four in the morning, and I've just had my instant-noodle dinner.
In fact, I've just returned from work as well, not too long ago. I had to peel myself off the chair at a quarter to three.
Amazingly I arrived home just twenty minutes later. Thanks to the no-rain.
No, don't be misunderstood.
I don't love work that much that I can't even bear to leave after 18 straight hours.
I have no other choice, because of this thing called 'deadline'.
I just hate man-handling shit that fucking idiots leave behind for me.
I knew I was brain-dead when I started finding some common English words peculiar to me: like 'strengths'. It took me a whole fucking minute of blank-staring at the nine alphabets just to decide if I had the word spelt correctly.
And as you could probably tell by now, I'm fucking pissed too.
My work is still unfinished. But I can't find the s-t-r-e-n-g-t-h to care anymore.
I've said 'fuck' like 9348 times, 'fucker' 2395 times, 'fucking' 5629 times - just today alone.
Yes, I'm that cheesed off.
And no, I don't want to be talking bad about anyone from work here. No, not even that fucking idiotic fucker.
I know I'm bad. I'll have sins to bear.
But when haven't I?
Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK. UurrrgghhhH!
Hmm... that really helped relieve some little bit of steam.
I'll try to sleep the rest off in however much time I have left for the night.
*****
I love Japanese instant noodles 'cos the noodles are fat and the portion is HUGE.
And tonight, I cooked it the right way: dry with lots of sauce.
*****
I'm getting the blues again.
I suddenly remember I still don't know where I'm heading.
It's sad when you realize you don't know what you're working so damn fucking hard for in life.
No prata. No nothing.
It's four in the morning, and I've just had my instant-noodle dinner.
In fact, I've just returned from work as well, not too long ago. I had to peel myself off the chair at a quarter to three.
Amazingly I arrived home just twenty minutes later. Thanks to the no-rain.
No, don't be misunderstood.
I don't love work that much that I can't even bear to leave after 18 straight hours.
I have no other choice, because of this thing called 'deadline'.
I just hate man-handling shit that fucking idiots leave behind for me.
I knew I was brain-dead when I started finding some common English words peculiar to me: like 'strengths'. It took me a whole fucking minute of blank-staring at the nine alphabets just to decide if I had the word spelt correctly.
And as you could probably tell by now, I'm fucking pissed too.
My work is still unfinished. But I can't find the s-t-r-e-n-g-t-h to care anymore.
I've said 'fuck' like 9348 times, 'fucker' 2395 times, 'fucking' 5629 times - just today alone.
Yes, I'm that cheesed off.
And no, I don't want to be talking bad about anyone from work here. No, not even that fucking idiotic fucker.
I know I'm bad. I'll have sins to bear.
But when haven't I?
Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK. UurrrgghhhH!
Hmm... that really helped relieve some little bit of steam.
I'll try to sleep the rest off in however much time I have left for the night.
*****
I love Japanese instant noodles 'cos the noodles are fat and the portion is HUGE.
And tonight, I cooked it the right way: dry with lots of sauce.
*****
I'm getting the blues again.
I suddenly remember I still don't know where I'm heading.
It's sad when you realize you don't know what you're working so damn fucking hard for in life.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
矛盾
I'm taking a break. From work.
Yes, I brought work home today. Haven't resorted to this pathetic move in a long, long time.
I'm tired, my shoulders are aching, and my eyes are threatening to shut-down. I still have a long way to go, and I just started on my work not too long ago.
But not before making another 'itchy-backside' move.
I downloaded that damned game that everyone else is 'busy' with right now.
Didn't have much opportunity tonight to explore it before I forced my fingers to click on the 'quit' button.
That was probably the other reason why I brought my 'work' home tonight. My Mac, while I adore it tons, excludes me from these games my buddies indulge in - together.
Hmph. I'm gonna find me some Mac games that my buddies will envy me for.
Should I:
(a) stay up till four, work through the Man U game, then wake up late for work as usual, OR
(b) sleep now, miss the Man U game (which might turn out a good idea since my 'punter' friend predicts they 'won't make it' tonight), then wake up at six to go to the office?
Big decision at three in the morning, huh.
I think I know what it's gonna be.
I'll probably end up sleeping now, missing the Man U game, then waking up late for work - as usual.
Hur hur. I think I know myself just too well.
*****
Life never stops making a fool out of you, doesn't it?
Just when you are becoming so hopeful upon seeing some sunshine in the afternoon, it starts pouring again in the night.
Just like when you're becoming so disappointed you're on the brink of giving up, someone comes around again to bring you that bit of joy, however short-lived it may be.
So what is it gonna be?
Rain? Or shine?
Yes, I brought work home today. Haven't resorted to this pathetic move in a long, long time.
I'm tired, my shoulders are aching, and my eyes are threatening to shut-down. I still have a long way to go, and I just started on my work not too long ago.
But not before making another 'itchy-backside' move.
I downloaded that damned game that everyone else is 'busy' with right now.
Didn't have much opportunity tonight to explore it before I forced my fingers to click on the 'quit' button.
That was probably the other reason why I brought my 'work' home tonight. My Mac, while I adore it tons, excludes me from these games my buddies indulge in - together.
Hmph. I'm gonna find me some Mac games that my buddies will envy me for.
Should I:
(a) stay up till four, work through the Man U game, then wake up late for work as usual, OR
(b) sleep now, miss the Man U game (which might turn out a good idea since my 'punter' friend predicts they 'won't make it' tonight), then wake up at six to go to the office?
Big decision at three in the morning, huh.
I think I know what it's gonna be.
I'll probably end up sleeping now, missing the Man U game, then waking up late for work - as usual.
Hur hur. I think I know myself just too well.
*****
Life never stops making a fool out of you, doesn't it?
Just when you are becoming so hopeful upon seeing some sunshine in the afternoon, it starts pouring again in the night.
Just like when you're becoming so disappointed you're on the brink of giving up, someone comes around again to bring you that bit of joy, however short-lived it may be.
So what is it gonna be?
Rain? Or shine?
Year In Review
1981 in review:
1 - Prince Charles got married.
2 - Liverpool were crowned Soccer Champions of Europe.
3 - Australia lost the cricket Ashes tournament.
4 - The Pope died.
2005 in review:
1 - Prince Charles got married.
2 - Liverpool were crowned Soccer Champions of Europe.
3 - Australia lost the cricket Ashes tournament.
4 - The Pope died.
Note: In future, if Prince Charles decides to remarry, will someone please warn the Pope? Thank you.
Cracked me up. =)
1 - Prince Charles got married.
2 - Liverpool were crowned Soccer Champions of Europe.
3 - Australia lost the cricket Ashes tournament.
4 - The Pope died.
2005 in review:
1 - Prince Charles got married.
2 - Liverpool were crowned Soccer Champions of Europe.
3 - Australia lost the cricket Ashes tournament.
4 - The Pope died.
Note: In future, if Prince Charles decides to remarry, will someone please warn the Pope? Thank you.
Cracked me up. =)
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
快熟面
When I'm not having any dinner or lunch date these days, I'm mostly on a chips-and-instant-noodle diet.
Don't have much appetite for anything else, don't know why.
Or maybe, I just don't like having to eat alone.
My eating times are so screwed, I eat only when I'm too famished to put the hunger off any longer.
I had a packet from my precious collection of Japanese instant noodles today.
Stoopid me. It was supposed to be 'dry' noodles. I wasn't thinking when I emptied out the little packets of seasoning and ingredients before pouring in the boiling water.
I ended up having a bowl of soupless bland noodles. Sigh.
I am being so silly.
They are only instant noodles. All probably less than a hundred yen each.
Why prize them and keep them like they are precious gems? Just eat 'em.
Sigh.
Don't have much appetite for anything else, don't know why.
Or maybe, I just don't like having to eat alone.
My eating times are so screwed, I eat only when I'm too famished to put the hunger off any longer.
I had a packet from my precious collection of Japanese instant noodles today.
Stoopid me. It was supposed to be 'dry' noodles. I wasn't thinking when I emptied out the little packets of seasoning and ingredients before pouring in the boiling water.
I ended up having a bowl of soupless bland noodles. Sigh.
I am being so silly.
They are only instant noodles. All probably less than a hundred yen each.
Why prize them and keep them like they are precious gems? Just eat 'em.
Sigh.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
"Karks"
Uh-oh. This doesn't sound too good.
List of Fictional Expletives
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This list of fictional expletives contains expletives invented by writers of fiction—often science fiction or fantasy—to add nuance to the fictional cultures in their work, and sometimes as a form of censorship.
...
kark - from Robert A. Heinlein's I Will Fear No Evil; same meaning as "fuck". Alternatively, meaning "shit"; the protagonist is "so rich he karks on a gold pot."
...
Haha. Bad news, Karks.
List of Fictional Expletives
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This list of fictional expletives contains expletives invented by writers of fiction—often science fiction or fantasy—to add nuance to the fictional cultures in their work, and sometimes as a form of censorship.
...
kark - from Robert A. Heinlein's I Will Fear No Evil; same meaning as "fuck". Alternatively, meaning "shit"; the protagonist is "so rich he karks on a gold pot."
...
Haha. Bad news, Karks.
Head-In
I did! I did! I went for training!
Not quite, actually. Couldn't do anything with my stump but hit the gym, though.
I kinda hate gym, but I'm also beginning to see the usefulness of strength training.
It's time I make some use of our free entitlement to the gym. Just one of the very few perks I really enjoy from work. Other than that? Nothing much else.
Also, buddy told me yoga has helped another buddy curb her back and neck problems. Yeah, maybe I really should.
Since I can't really practise my dancing in three-inch heels for quite a while, I'm gonna pick me up another new skill.
Parking head-in, and successfully on the first try - without any need to reverse and adjust my position.
(By the way, what the hell is the opposite for 'reverse parking' - forward parking??)
First, I'll practise with empty lots on either side of my targetted lot. Then, once I grasp the turning angle, I'll progress to parking between two cars.
I have always been fascinated by the way all Americans park their cars head-in-first - just like that, with a snap of your fingers. No one in the U.S. of A. reverse-parks.
In fact, when you're in the States, you just can't help yourself but feel compelled to park the way they do. Though, of course, you do it in t-o-r-t-o-i-s-e speed.
So embarrassing, sometimes. Really.
I was intrigued, and I needed to find some theory for the American Parking Syndrome.
I concluded: Americans must be real lousy in reverse-parking. Either that, or they are simply too lazy to reverse-park.
Until someone (and I can't remember if this someone is American or not) offered me the supposed reason.
Americans choose to park head-in-first, so that they don't hold up the cars waiting in line behind them and thus cause a jam in the car-park. Which is kinda true, that reverse-parking usually takes more time, especially when you suck at it.
So. Americans are considerate drivers.
Ha. Why am I so amused?
Considerate driver, I may be. But I can be a meanie on the road at times too.
I just want to learn parking head-in because I want a new skill I can show off to the boys.
And probably so I don't embarrass myself the next time I drive in Portland. Ha.
Not quite, actually. Couldn't do anything with my stump but hit the gym, though.
I kinda hate gym, but I'm also beginning to see the usefulness of strength training.
It's time I make some use of our free entitlement to the gym. Just one of the very few perks I really enjoy from work. Other than that? Nothing much else.
Also, buddy told me yoga has helped another buddy curb her back and neck problems. Yeah, maybe I really should.
Since I can't really practise my dancing in three-inch heels for quite a while, I'm gonna pick me up another new skill.
Parking head-in, and successfully on the first try - without any need to reverse and adjust my position.
(By the way, what the hell is the opposite for 'reverse parking' - forward parking??)
First, I'll practise with empty lots on either side of my targetted lot. Then, once I grasp the turning angle, I'll progress to parking between two cars.
I have always been fascinated by the way all Americans park their cars head-in-first - just like that, with a snap of your fingers. No one in the U.S. of A. reverse-parks.
In fact, when you're in the States, you just can't help yourself but feel compelled to park the way they do. Though, of course, you do it in t-o-r-t-o-i-s-e speed.
So embarrassing, sometimes. Really.
I was intrigued, and I needed to find some theory for the American Parking Syndrome.
I concluded: Americans must be real lousy in reverse-parking. Either that, or they are simply too lazy to reverse-park.
Until someone (and I can't remember if this someone is American or not) offered me the supposed reason.
Americans choose to park head-in-first, so that they don't hold up the cars waiting in line behind them and thus cause a jam in the car-park. Which is kinda true, that reverse-parking usually takes more time, especially when you suck at it.
So. Americans are considerate drivers.
Ha. Why am I so amused?
Considerate driver, I may be. But I can be a meanie on the road at times too.
I just want to learn parking head-in because I want a new skill I can show off to the boys.
And probably so I don't embarrass myself the next time I drive in Portland. Ha.
Slug
I feel so sluggish, not being to work out in any way since my ankle grew into a stump.
I haven't done any form of exercise for almost a month.
So, what have I been doing so far? Nothing much, except binging on ice-cream almost every day since day one.
Sweet, but URGH also.
I'm toying with the idea of resuming my yoga or pilates classes.
I'm just being stingy with my money again. I've never really liked the idea of having to spend money to work out.
After all, I run and swim and play basketball almost for free. And I perspire tons - which I like.
There's a basketball training session today.
I am so thinking of sneaking out to training. I just need someone to help me with the laundry after - my mom would scream her head off if she saw my dirty clothes in the basket.
At this grand old age of mine, I still have to sneak out of the house just to play basketball.
Do I feel teeny-bopper or what?!
I haven't done any form of exercise for almost a month.
So, what have I been doing so far? Nothing much, except binging on ice-cream almost every day since day one.
Sweet, but URGH also.
I'm toying with the idea of resuming my yoga or pilates classes.
I'm just being stingy with my money again. I've never really liked the idea of having to spend money to work out.
After all, I run and swim and play basketball almost for free. And I perspire tons - which I like.
There's a basketball training session today.
I am so thinking of sneaking out to training. I just need someone to help me with the laundry after - my mom would scream her head off if she saw my dirty clothes in the basket.
At this grand old age of mine, I still have to sneak out of the house just to play basketball.
Do I feel teeny-bopper or what?!
Monday, January 09, 2006
Necked
I need a new neck. Des-pe-rate-ly.
One that doesn't get sprained or twitched or twisted or whatever - that easily.
All I did was just to stretch my arms and back at my desk - like I always do every morning to wake myself up.
I think I just over-did it today. And I'm gonna blame it on the movies I ended up watching on TV last night.
I was planning to spend a quiet night catching up on some much-needed reading and then having an early rest, when my itchy hands switched the cable tv on to the movies channel.
I didn't catch one good movie. I caught three in a row instead.
I like. =)
I like Harold & Kumar. I like Ben Stiller. And I love Audrey Tautou - the sweetest babe I've ever seen. Maybe I should watch more French movies to see more babes.
So, so glad I didn't spend my money at the theatres instead. Ha.
By the time I had to force my itchy hands to switch off the damned tv, it was way, way past my intended bedtime.
Urgh.
Which probably explains the tired neck. Which got twisted again.
I hate my neck.
At the rate I'm getting injuries, however mild yet equally irritating, I am getting worried.
And I'm not even that old yet.
I remember one particular conversation we always used to kid around.
And it never failed to pop up every time either of us got injured - be it a bad ankle injury, or a sprained neck, or a bad back, or sore calf muscles, or a painful foot, or very strained shoulders, or just about anything.
"Sweetie, I think. the way we're getting injuries, we'll be damn jialat when we're old man, old lady. I wonder which of us will end up with a walking stick or in a wheelchair first. But I think it'll be you, and poor me will have to look after you."
Haha. It was awful but it looked a sweet sight into the future for me.
One that doesn't get sprained or twitched or twisted or whatever - that easily.
All I did was just to stretch my arms and back at my desk - like I always do every morning to wake myself up.
I think I just over-did it today. And I'm gonna blame it on the movies I ended up watching on TV last night.
I was planning to spend a quiet night catching up on some much-needed reading and then having an early rest, when my itchy hands switched the cable tv on to the movies channel.
I didn't catch one good movie. I caught three in a row instead.
I like. =)
I like Harold & Kumar. I like Ben Stiller. And I love Audrey Tautou - the sweetest babe I've ever seen. Maybe I should watch more French movies to see more babes.
So, so glad I didn't spend my money at the theatres instead. Ha.
By the time I had to force my itchy hands to switch off the damned tv, it was way, way past my intended bedtime.
Urgh.
Which probably explains the tired neck. Which got twisted again.
I hate my neck.
At the rate I'm getting injuries, however mild yet equally irritating, I am getting worried.
And I'm not even that old yet.
I remember one particular conversation we always used to kid around.
And it never failed to pop up every time either of us got injured - be it a bad ankle injury, or a sprained neck, or a bad back, or sore calf muscles, or a painful foot, or very strained shoulders, or just about anything.
"Sweetie, I think. the way we're getting injuries, we'll be damn jialat when we're old man, old lady. I wonder which of us will end up with a walking stick or in a wheelchair first. But I think it'll be you, and poor me will have to look after you."
Haha. It was awful but it looked a sweet sight into the future for me.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Tsk...
Wahaha! What the hell was I thinking?
I made myself get out of the house - big rain or small rain, by hook or by crook. Sure, I did.
But it sure was too dreary a weather to be out.
By the time I found a safe and dry parking lot, I was too tired to carry on any other activity. All I could manage was a short walk from Borders to Tangs and then back to Borders. All the while thinking: "What the hell?! I should be lying in bed under my duvet right now."
And as usual, my downtown resolutions always get undone - mentally - by the time I reach town.
Like?
(A) Why the hell should I be getting a new bikini just because I'm going to Phuket? Bikinis don't come cheap, you know.
(B) I would like another pair of power heels. But the ones I fancy are too un-affordable. Anyway, I still can't walk in stilettos.
(C) I don't really have to wear new clothes for Chinese New Year, do I? It's just another pretext.
(D) I have many more unread books at home. STOP BUYING ANY MORE TO COLLECT DUST.
(E) Sigh. What's the point of watching movies alone? It's no fun. I'll either wait for good company, or wait for my next trip up to Portland - and then hope Northwest buffs up its movie selection in February. Sigh.
In the end, all I could achieve was a hot skinny latte at the cafe. And getting my feet wet, stepping in the puddles of rainwater.
Oh, and two pieces of underwear and yet another necklace - all totally unplanned for.
Sigh. I'm never a good planner, am I?
More importantly, though, I've been reining myself in with my bigger plans in mind.
I really want to take a couple of vacations this year.
And I really want to be able to afford my own place - soon. I'll be turning thirty before I know it. I have to be getting somewhere in life when I hit thirty, haven't I?
Looking at the mountains of cookbooks in Borders never fails to reinforce that thought - all the time. =)
Speaking of movies, you don't just go to the movies with just about anyone. At least, for me.
It just has to be the right company.
Yeah, someone whom you'll want to share good (or bad) stuff with.
It's not just about 'watching a movie'. It's about sharing an enjoyable experience, through and through.
Which probably explains why I've been avoiding a persistent movie invitation, that I kinda feel bad about.
Sorry, dude. It's just me.
I made myself get out of the house - big rain or small rain, by hook or by crook. Sure, I did.
But it sure was too dreary a weather to be out.
By the time I found a safe and dry parking lot, I was too tired to carry on any other activity. All I could manage was a short walk from Borders to Tangs and then back to Borders. All the while thinking: "What the hell?! I should be lying in bed under my duvet right now."
And as usual, my downtown resolutions always get undone - mentally - by the time I reach town.
Like?
(A) Why the hell should I be getting a new bikini just because I'm going to Phuket? Bikinis don't come cheap, you know.
(B) I would like another pair of power heels. But the ones I fancy are too un-affordable. Anyway, I still can't walk in stilettos.
(C) I don't really have to wear new clothes for Chinese New Year, do I? It's just another pretext.
(D) I have many more unread books at home. STOP BUYING ANY MORE TO COLLECT DUST.
(E) Sigh. What's the point of watching movies alone? It's no fun. I'll either wait for good company, or wait for my next trip up to Portland - and then hope Northwest buffs up its movie selection in February. Sigh.
In the end, all I could achieve was a hot skinny latte at the cafe. And getting my feet wet, stepping in the puddles of rainwater.
Oh, and two pieces of underwear and yet another necklace - all totally unplanned for.
Sigh. I'm never a good planner, am I?
More importantly, though, I've been reining myself in with my bigger plans in mind.
I really want to take a couple of vacations this year.
And I really want to be able to afford my own place - soon. I'll be turning thirty before I know it. I have to be getting somewhere in life when I hit thirty, haven't I?
Looking at the mountains of cookbooks in Borders never fails to reinforce that thought - all the time. =)
Speaking of movies, you don't just go to the movies with just about anyone. At least, for me.
It just has to be the right company.
Yeah, someone whom you'll want to share good (or bad) stuff with.
It's not just about 'watching a movie'. It's about sharing an enjoyable experience, through and through.
Which probably explains why I've been avoiding a persistent movie invitation, that I kinda feel bad about.
Sorry, dude. It's just me.
Need
Sigh. The rain is not stopping.
My friend's plans to sell some handmade gem-stone jewelry at the flea market have been devastated by the same rain - two days in a row.
My plans to spend some time in town have also been ruined.
Well, almost. I think I'm still gonna trudge into town this afternoon. I don't think I can bear to laze another afternoon away.
Hopefully, it'd be quiet-er in town; hopefully, everyone else is staying in bed.
There are some things that need to be done.
No, not the 'urgent, important, die-die must-do' kind of need.
It's the 'soul-soothing, self-empowering, I-just-want-to-do-what-I-want-to-do-because-it-makes-me-happy' kind of need.
Like?
Like shopping for a new bikini for my Phuket trip.
Like shopping for new shoes - just because...
Like shopping for new clothes for the Lunar New Year.
Like browsing through Borders, because I have a ten-dollar voucher to be spent before January ends.
Like watching a movie - yes, even if it's on my own. I've sacrificed too many good shows in the past few months - all because...
Like hanging out at my cafe, doing some reading and writing.
Like getting my feet wet, running through the puddles of rainwater.
Yeah, that's quite a lot of things to be done on a lazy, rainy Sunday afternoon.
Time to get dressed.
My friend's plans to sell some handmade gem-stone jewelry at the flea market have been devastated by the same rain - two days in a row.
My plans to spend some time in town have also been ruined.
Well, almost. I think I'm still gonna trudge into town this afternoon. I don't think I can bear to laze another afternoon away.
Hopefully, it'd be quiet-er in town; hopefully, everyone else is staying in bed.
There are some things that need to be done.
No, not the 'urgent, important, die-die must-do' kind of need.
It's the 'soul-soothing, self-empowering, I-just-want-to-do-what-I-want-to-do-because-it-makes-me-happy' kind of need.
Like?
Like shopping for a new bikini for my Phuket trip.
Like shopping for new shoes - just because...
Like shopping for new clothes for the Lunar New Year.
Like browsing through Borders, because I have a ten-dollar voucher to be spent before January ends.
Like watching a movie - yes, even if it's on my own. I've sacrificed too many good shows in the past few months - all because...
Like hanging out at my cafe, doing some reading and writing.
Like getting my feet wet, running through the puddles of rainwater.
Yeah, that's quite a lot of things to be done on a lazy, rainy Sunday afternoon.
Time to get dressed.
6:49
Joke #379 went: "Wah, your phone from the last millenium one ah? Haha."
Sigh.
*****
It's six in the morning.
And I'm still awake.
The sounds of the rain outside, on such a cold dead-calm Sunday morning, make me not want to fall asleep and miss the beauty of it all.
I think everyone else is indulging snugly in such cold-weather sleep. I don't even hear the clanks of the coffee cups from the kopitiam downstairs.
But I do know of someone else who would be up and awake by this time - to get ready for work.
Poor fella.
I've been to the over-hyped MOS, then Phuture, and back.
And I'm proud - I didn't drink much at all. In fact, the stupid Tiger beer gave me a bad headache.
Someone has been telling me: "Don't drink and drive, ok." And I'm listening: Ok. =)
MOS is just so weird. The music's ok, the sound system's pretty awesome, there were even snowflakes falling onto the dance floor - but the crowd freaks me out. I can't explain nor describe it; it's just plain weird.
Hopped over to Phuture, because we heard it's Alternative Music night every first Saturday of the month.
We liked what we heard. Green Day, Coldplay, Guns 'N Roses, Suede, Keane, Gorillaz, New Order, The Cure, Prodigy. Just to name a few. Doesn't that sound awesome?
It was, indeed.
But this kind of music, I can't really dance to. I could've blasted these very same songs in my car while I'm driving - and still enjoyed bopping my head to the music just the same. Ha.
It's really been some time since I've stayed out this late.
And I think I'm off the drinking mood these days.
It's really really been a long, long time since I've gotten home this late, and still stayed this sober.
Ha.
Oh yah, I had said I wanted to say some things about my drinking.
Well, not now. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm getting a little sleepy now.
Ok... very sleepy now. It's about time too.
*****
Dinners have been getting very pleasant these days, and I've been enjoying every single minute spent again.
Though, I've been getting some flak: "Why the hell are you still... ? Can you please... ?"
Ha.
Don't you worry. I'll be fine. =)
Sigh.
*****
It's six in the morning.
And I'm still awake.
The sounds of the rain outside, on such a cold dead-calm Sunday morning, make me not want to fall asleep and miss the beauty of it all.
I think everyone else is indulging snugly in such cold-weather sleep. I don't even hear the clanks of the coffee cups from the kopitiam downstairs.
But I do know of someone else who would be up and awake by this time - to get ready for work.
Poor fella.
I've been to the over-hyped MOS, then Phuture, and back.
And I'm proud - I didn't drink much at all. In fact, the stupid Tiger beer gave me a bad headache.
Someone has been telling me: "Don't drink and drive, ok." And I'm listening: Ok. =)
MOS is just so weird. The music's ok, the sound system's pretty awesome, there were even snowflakes falling onto the dance floor - but the crowd freaks me out. I can't explain nor describe it; it's just plain weird.
Hopped over to Phuture, because we heard it's Alternative Music night every first Saturday of the month.
We liked what we heard. Green Day, Coldplay, Guns 'N Roses, Suede, Keane, Gorillaz, New Order, The Cure, Prodigy. Just to name a few. Doesn't that sound awesome?
It was, indeed.
But this kind of music, I can't really dance to. I could've blasted these very same songs in my car while I'm driving - and still enjoyed bopping my head to the music just the same. Ha.
It's really been some time since I've stayed out this late.
And I think I'm off the drinking mood these days.
It's really really been a long, long time since I've gotten home this late, and still stayed this sober.
Ha.
Oh yah, I had said I wanted to say some things about my drinking.
Well, not now. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm getting a little sleepy now.
Ok... very sleepy now. It's about time too.
*****
Dinners have been getting very pleasant these days, and I've been enjoying every single minute spent again.
Though, I've been getting some flak: "Why the hell are you still... ? Can you please... ?"
Ha.
Don't you worry. I'll be fine. =)
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Ciaran the Poo
It's a miracle!
I'm home alone with the little man today (ignore the old man still snoozing in his room).
I had to drag my sleepy ass out of bed (metaphorically) when my mom left the house this morning. And the little man was already up and full of spark - yelling his famed 'ABC' song.
See, I don't really get out of my bed - even when it's Babysitting Day. I just get the little man to climb up my bed right next to me. Play your train or your bus, or sing your songs, or torment the dogs, whatever - as long as Gu-gu gets to lie on bed while keeping an eye on you.
Thank God for my queen-sized bed. Well, actually, I have my brother to thank for that...
So, I was lazing on my bed, keeping my eyes half-open at the TV, when the little man became very quiet. Next thing I knew, he climbed up my bed and tugged at my arm.
That only meant one of two things: either he wants me to do something for him, or he wants me to go somewhere.
Either case, I had to get out of bed.
He pulled my arm as he dragged me out of the room, blabbering only one word: "Bathe. Bathe."
I still couldn't get what he was trying to say, even as he led me into the kitchen.
Till he stopped, turned back and said: "Towel!"
Ah! The little man is initiating bath-time!
I was truly amazed and amused at the same time. Far as I know, bath-time isn't exactly his favorite time of the day.
There we were, standing in the bathroom, me proceeding to undress him when he mumbled, "Poot poot."
There I knew it! There must have been something slimy in his diapers that's making him feel uneasy.
He wouldn't have wanted me to give him a bath - for no reason.
I almost forgot he's gonna grow up to be a man. Sigh.
Then the stinko smell hit me right in the face - literally.
And it was no ordinary poo. It was the slimy yellow-green extra-pungent kind of poo.
Yes, LAO SAI.
And I feel so lucky now (it was my first time cleaning up his poo), I think I'm going downstairs to buy 4D again today.
Little man, maybe you're the key to my condominium, after all.
I started scrunching up my face and he began his singing again.
Nonchalence.
You're happy, having no more shit. And I'm not, cleaning up your shit.
Men. Sigh.
I'm home alone with the little man today (ignore the old man still snoozing in his room).
I had to drag my sleepy ass out of bed (metaphorically) when my mom left the house this morning. And the little man was already up and full of spark - yelling his famed 'ABC' song.
See, I don't really get out of my bed - even when it's Babysitting Day. I just get the little man to climb up my bed right next to me. Play your train or your bus, or sing your songs, or torment the dogs, whatever - as long as Gu-gu gets to lie on bed while keeping an eye on you.
Thank God for my queen-sized bed. Well, actually, I have my brother to thank for that...
So, I was lazing on my bed, keeping my eyes half-open at the TV, when the little man became very quiet. Next thing I knew, he climbed up my bed and tugged at my arm.
That only meant one of two things: either he wants me to do something for him, or he wants me to go somewhere.
Either case, I had to get out of bed.
He pulled my arm as he dragged me out of the room, blabbering only one word: "Bathe. Bathe."
I still couldn't get what he was trying to say, even as he led me into the kitchen.
Till he stopped, turned back and said: "Towel!"
Ah! The little man is initiating bath-time!
I was truly amazed and amused at the same time. Far as I know, bath-time isn't exactly his favorite time of the day.
There we were, standing in the bathroom, me proceeding to undress him when he mumbled, "Poot poot."
There I knew it! There must have been something slimy in his diapers that's making him feel uneasy.
He wouldn't have wanted me to give him a bath - for no reason.
I almost forgot he's gonna grow up to be a man. Sigh.
Then the stinko smell hit me right in the face - literally.
And it was no ordinary poo. It was the slimy yellow-green extra-pungent kind of poo.
Yes, LAO SAI.
And I feel so lucky now (it was my first time cleaning up his poo), I think I'm going downstairs to buy 4D again today.
Little man, maybe you're the key to my condominium, after all.
I started scrunching up my face and he began his singing again.
Nonchalence.
You're happy, having no more shit. And I'm not, cleaning up your shit.
Men. Sigh.
Nice
Last night was full of 'nice'-es.
Nice dinner. Nice company. Nice hug. Nice last-minute coffee-girltalk session. Nice time.
To top it off, I actually had a nice dream. So nice, though a bit weird at some bits, I wanted it to come true in real-life, for once.
I haven't had such a pleasant 'night-trip' for a long, long while.
I wanted the dream not to end. But, my Pa had to come into my room and yell at me for sleeping with the lights still on.
I remember, though, I woke up with a big smile on my face.
Like the little man would chime, "Wah! So nice!"
Glad you seem to like your original-now-turned-backup Christmas present.
Nice. =)
Nice dinner. Nice company. Nice hug. Nice last-minute coffee-girltalk session. Nice time.
To top it off, I actually had a nice dream. So nice, though a bit weird at some bits, I wanted it to come true in real-life, for once.
I haven't had such a pleasant 'night-trip' for a long, long while.
I wanted the dream not to end. But, my Pa had to come into my room and yell at me for sleeping with the lights still on.
I remember, though, I woke up with a big smile on my face.
Like the little man would chime, "Wah! So nice!"
Glad you seem to like your original-now-turned-backup Christmas present.
Nice. =)
Heroine
It feels so good great to have someone celebrating your homecoming for ten whole minutes.
Every single night.
It's like you're the savior of the world, the heroine who plugged the emptiness that existed before you came along.
Yeah, it was that joyous an occasion.
And that's my Piper for you.
(Gracie yelps for a while, then retreats to the comforts of my duvet - that slug of a dog.)
Folks who yearn to be loved like there is no other, take it from me.
Get a dog.
Hey, I didn't say you have to marry one. =)
Ahhh...
It's still better to love, than to hate.
Every single night.
It's like you're the savior of the world, the heroine who plugged the emptiness that existed before you came along.
Yeah, it was that joyous an occasion.
And that's my Piper for you.
(Gracie yelps for a while, then retreats to the comforts of my duvet - that slug of a dog.)
Folks who yearn to be loved like there is no other, take it from me.
Get a dog.
Hey, I didn't say you have to marry one. =)
Ahhh...
It's still better to love, than to hate.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Prune
I've been stuck in a meeting the E-N-T-I-R-E day.
And I'm screwed up like a prune now. Urgh.
Meetings screw me up. My day is half-wasted, and they zap away my energy.
I really hate meetings.
There are many other things I hate too.
I should learn to hate more - especially things that I really hate.
What's the point of only loving, and not hating?
Today, I have only a one-word question, and it applies to everything.
Why?
And I'm screwed up like a prune now. Urgh.
Meetings screw me up. My day is half-wasted, and they zap away my energy.
I really hate meetings.
There are many other things I hate too.
I should learn to hate more - especially things that I really hate.
What's the point of only loving, and not hating?
Today, I have only a one-word question, and it applies to everything.
Why?
Me to Me
I had no one to talk to tonight, so I talked to myself instead.
It was a good yet inconclusive talk again. But I think I'm getting somewhere, at least.
I think I might have gotten some good - but painful - advice from myself.
Of all people.
It was a good yet inconclusive talk again. But I think I'm getting somewhere, at least.
I think I might have gotten some good - but painful - advice from myself.
Of all people.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Ruff YOoo!
To all you silly cows who have been teasing me about marrying a dog instead, think twice before laughing at my expense again.
Can be done lor.
With this herring I thee wed
British woman ‘marries’ dolphin, tying the net after 15-year courtship
Associated Press
Updated: 2:48 p.m. ET Jan. 3, 2006
JERUSALEM - Sharon Tendler met Cindy 15 years ago. She said it was love at first sight. This week she finally took the plunge and proposed. The lucky "guy" plunged right back.
In a modest ceremony at Dolphin Reef in the southern Israeli port of Eilat, Tendler, a 41-year-old British citizen, apparently became the world's first person to "marry" a dolphin.
Dressed in a white dress, a veil and pink flowers in her hair, Tendler got down on one knee on the dock and gave Cindy a kiss. And a piece of herring.
It's not a perverted thing. I do love this dolphin. He's the love of my life," she said Saturday, upon her return to London.
Tendler, who said she imports clothes and promotes rock bands in England, has visited Israel several times a year since first meeting the dolphin.
When asked in the past if she had a boyfriend, she would always reply, "No. I'm going to end up with Cindy." On Wednesday, she made it official, sort of. While she acknowledged the "wedding" had no legal bearing she did say it reflected her deep feelings toward the bottlenosed, 35-year-old object of her affection.
"It's not a bad thing. It’s just something that we did because I love him, but not in the way that you love a man. It's just a pure love that I have for this animal," she said.
While she still kept open the option of "marrying human" at some stage, she said for now she was strictly a "one-dolphin woman."
She's hardly the jealous type, though.
"He will still play with all the other girls there," she said, of their prenuptial agreement. "I hope he has a lot of baby dolphins with the other dolphins. The more dolphins the better."
© 2005 The Associated Press.
Ok. Certified weir-do.
I may love dogs, and even think we might be beneath them.
Still, I'd choose to marry my own kind. (Like one silly-cow friend puts it: "Yeah, you don't think you're even good enough to marry a dog, right?" *Finger!*)
For one, how the hell would I proclaim my undying love to a canine lover?
I ruff yOoo?
Can be done lor.
With this herring I thee wed
British woman ‘marries’ dolphin, tying the net after 15-year courtship
Associated Press
Updated: 2:48 p.m. ET Jan. 3, 2006
JERUSALEM - Sharon Tendler met Cindy 15 years ago. She said it was love at first sight. This week she finally took the plunge and proposed. The lucky "guy" plunged right back.
In a modest ceremony at Dolphin Reef in the southern Israeli port of Eilat, Tendler, a 41-year-old British citizen, apparently became the world's first person to "marry" a dolphin.
Dressed in a white dress, a veil and pink flowers in her hair, Tendler got down on one knee on the dock and gave Cindy a kiss. And a piece of herring.
It's not a perverted thing. I do love this dolphin. He's the love of my life," she said Saturday, upon her return to London.
Tendler, who said she imports clothes and promotes rock bands in England, has visited Israel several times a year since first meeting the dolphin.
When asked in the past if she had a boyfriend, she would always reply, "No. I'm going to end up with Cindy." On Wednesday, she made it official, sort of. While she acknowledged the "wedding" had no legal bearing she did say it reflected her deep feelings toward the bottlenosed, 35-year-old object of her affection.
"It's not a bad thing. It’s just something that we did because I love him, but not in the way that you love a man. It's just a pure love that I have for this animal," she said.
While she still kept open the option of "marrying human" at some stage, she said for now she was strictly a "one-dolphin woman."
She's hardly the jealous type, though.
"He will still play with all the other girls there," she said, of their prenuptial agreement. "I hope he has a lot of baby dolphins with the other dolphins. The more dolphins the better."
© 2005 The Associated Press.
Ok. Certified weir-do.
I may love dogs, and even think we might be beneath them.
Still, I'd choose to marry my own kind. (Like one silly-cow friend puts it: "Yeah, you don't think you're even good enough to marry a dog, right?" *Finger!*)
For one, how the hell would I proclaim my undying love to a canine lover?
I ruff yOoo?
PR
I thought this was pretty weird.
Press release on "BlogShares - i wish i were a dog." site:
i wish i were a dog. suffered a huge setback with several analysts urging their clients to ditch the stock as it suffered a public relations disaster. The exact nature of customer dissatisfaction was not known but Cordelya was rumoured to have had a hand in it. Industry insiders suspect a Morrighan (artefact) was involved. i wish i were a dog. share price dropped from B$73.91 to B$29.57
Cordelya declined to comment on the recent speculation.
I couldn't help but snigger.
I didn't even know my crap was being traded online. Ha.
Press release on "BlogShares - i wish i were a dog." site:
i wish i were a dog. suffered a huge setback with several analysts urging their clients to ditch the stock as it suffered a public relations disaster. The exact nature of customer dissatisfaction was not known but Cordelya was rumoured to have had a hand in it. Industry insiders suspect a Morrighan (artefact) was involved. i wish i were a dog. share price dropped from B$73.91 to B$29.57
Cordelya declined to comment on the recent speculation.
I couldn't help but snigger.
I didn't even know my crap was being traded online. Ha.
Bastard
I was recounting to a buddy some, er... interesting encounters I had of late.
Buddy: Wah, I didn't know you like ang mohs one.
Me: (throwing a disgusted look) No, I don't lor. I just somehow always manage to attract them.
Buddy: Yah lah, true. Ang mohs like your pattern kind - skinny skinny, tanned, athletic, speak English kind.
Me: Yah, maybe. Maybe they are impressed Asian girl can speak so good English. Ha.
Buddy: But then, you don't look very SPG what.
Me: (putting on my best Ah Lian act) Yah lor. I don't look nor behave SPG what!
Buddy: (glancing at my chest) Yah lor. Confirmed.
Read my finger, bastard!
Buddy: Wah, I didn't know you like ang mohs one.
Me: (throwing a disgusted look) No, I don't lor. I just somehow always manage to attract them.
Buddy: Yah lah, true. Ang mohs like your pattern kind - skinny skinny, tanned, athletic, speak English kind.
Me: Yah, maybe. Maybe they are impressed Asian girl can speak so good English. Ha.
Buddy: But then, you don't look very SPG what.
Me: (putting on my best Ah Lian act) Yah lor. I don't look nor behave SPG what!
Buddy: (glancing at my chest) Yah lor. Confirmed.
Read my finger, bastard!
Stinko Winko Air?!?!
Ok, 'fess up. Whoever.
Someone (still anonymous to me) has been sweet enough to send me an email invite to some Chivas Movement/Psychedelia Party next weekend, BUT... I noticed, had it sent to "the shrinkin' fatmama: stinko winko air"!
Wad the heow?!
Someone (still anonymous to me) has been sweet enough to send me an email invite to some Chivas Movement/Psychedelia Party next weekend, BUT... I noticed, had it sent to "the shrinkin' fatmama: stinko winko air"!
Wad the heow?!
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Win A Condo!
I have made another new resolution for the year.
I shall sign up for any credit card, any contest, any lucky draw that promises a condomium as the top prize.
Or a swanky new convertible will do too.
Hiak.
The very-adult conversation I had with Ed last night (not the X-rated kind of 'adult', by the way) has led us to an unanimous concurrence: that it is just not worthwhile to buy a private apartment, for the kind of blawdy interest we have to pay to banks.
Not in Singapore, anyway.
The only kind of property that would ever appreciate in value such that we would make money when we sell, is a blawdy piece of land. Or an old apartment that would eventually be bought en-bloc by some silly developer - that is, with a stroke of luck.
If we want a private apartment, rent it.
An HDB apartment? Sigh. That wasn't even in the discussion; neither of us seems to be getting married soon, anyway.
Not that we are planning to get an apartment together, but we'll never know if we might just end up as housemates. Though, I did make a proposition: you come up with the apartment, I provide the car. Ha. Sounds good, doesn't it?
Or, just do like I plan to: win a condo. =)
I shall sign up for any credit card, any contest, any lucky draw that promises a condomium as the top prize.
Or a swanky new convertible will do too.
Hiak.
The very-adult conversation I had with Ed last night (not the X-rated kind of 'adult', by the way) has led us to an unanimous concurrence: that it is just not worthwhile to buy a private apartment, for the kind of blawdy interest we have to pay to banks.
Not in Singapore, anyway.
The only kind of property that would ever appreciate in value such that we would make money when we sell, is a blawdy piece of land. Or an old apartment that would eventually be bought en-bloc by some silly developer - that is, with a stroke of luck.
If we want a private apartment, rent it.
An HDB apartment? Sigh. That wasn't even in the discussion; neither of us seems to be getting married soon, anyway.
Not that we are planning to get an apartment together, but we'll never know if we might just end up as housemates. Though, I did make a proposition: you come up with the apartment, I provide the car. Ha. Sounds good, doesn't it?
Or, just do like I plan to: win a condo. =)
Fishball
I lurve fishball mee tai mak soup with lots of fresh chilli in it too.
Especially if it's a $2 bowl with nothing less than SIX fishballs swimming in it.
It wasn't anything fantastic. But the heaps of tow-gay and spring onions more than made up for it.
I had made a sudden decision to turn into this quiet carpark and stop by this ulu little kopitiam along Tiong Bahru, on my way back to the office after my morning physio session.
No choice, I was too famished.
I like what I'd stumbled upon. I like sitting at an old kopitiam.
And, as one friend would say, what a 'heartlander' thing to do.
I may not have that bowl of fishball mee tai mak soup again, but while I had it, I was happy.
I don't ask for much, and I don't have high standards.
I only need simple pleasures in life to make me happy.
Especially if it's a $2 bowl with nothing less than SIX fishballs swimming in it.
It wasn't anything fantastic. But the heaps of tow-gay and spring onions more than made up for it.
I had made a sudden decision to turn into this quiet carpark and stop by this ulu little kopitiam along Tiong Bahru, on my way back to the office after my morning physio session.
No choice, I was too famished.
I like what I'd stumbled upon. I like sitting at an old kopitiam.
And, as one friend would say, what a 'heartlander' thing to do.
I may not have that bowl of fishball mee tai mak soup again, but while I had it, I was happy.
I don't ask for much, and I don't have high standards.
I only need simple pleasures in life to make me happy.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Of Dreams and Lobangs
I luurrve lobangs. =)))
Especially for something I've been eyeing and dying to get. And just when I was complaining about my backside-less phone. Ha.
I was so, so estatic I almost wanted to yell and shake my buddy real damn hard - over MSN. Still, I have to C-O-N-T-R-O-L myself - and it's only January. And maybe, just maybe, when the time comes, I might not even bear to part with my moolah.
Who knows?
Once again, I'd like to thank the Big Man for friends... and MSN. =)))
It was a long conversation with the same buddy, though.
Amidst the lobang-sharing, lots of thoughts/crap/encouragement/crap/advice/crap were shared as well.
Like this (edited):
Loons says:
aiyah, i'm so past working towards that impossible dream
Loons says:
i just want a quiet easy-going life
ME Inc. says:
hur hur
ME Inc. says:
tat is also a dream
ME Inc. says:
it's not easy having a quiet easy-going life, u know
ME Inc. says:
anyways, it's never too late to pursue a dream
ME Inc. says:
i'm still dreaming of becoming a vet... haha
Loons says:
cool
Loons says:
i just read of a cat receiving a kidney transplant
Loons says:
the first in singapore
ME Inc. says:
just tat, i'm really more way past that now
ME Inc. says:
i hv no money to finance the studies.. and at this grand old age, i dun think i can tahan another 6 yrs of medical studies man
Loons says:
aww mann
Loons says:
but u can facilitate
Loons says:
u need not be the doc
Loons says:
but u can be the owner of the clinic
Loons says:
u can own the ambulance co. that ferries the animals around
Loons says:
lots of way to see it... and achieving your dream
ME Inc. says:
haha yeah since i like to drive
ME Inc. says:
no lah - i still like to handle the animals
Loons says:
see.....
Loons says:
now we're thinking
ME Inc. says:
so i think i'd rather be the vet
ME Inc. says:
haha
Loons says:
you can watt
Loons says:
u can be the clinic assistant
(and no way I'm going to be the nurse lor...)
ME Inc. says:
ever since i cut up that damn rabbit in my sec 3 bio class... hahhaha
(ok... just joking. really.)
Loons says:
u can be the annoying pet shop owner who insists on man handling every pet that comes trhough the door
Loons says:
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Loons says:
u're sick
Loons says:
eeeeeeeee
ME Inc. says:
no - NO ENTRANCE UNLESS YOU HAVE AN ANIMAL
Loons says:
so fierce wann
Loons says:
hey hey
Loons says:
can u imagine a really good looking man walking through that door with the dog of ur dreams
Loons says:
ha
ME Inc. says:
yah and his kid in the other hand??
Loons says:
That's a dream i tell you
Loons says:
ummm...
Loons says:
it's ok
Loons says:
it is only marriage
(and Loons is a married woman with one kid - sheesh...)
Loons says:
got exit option wan
Loons says:
it's not like anyone cares about till death do us part anymore
Loons says:
ummm.... but the kid
Loons says:
u should suck up to the kid too la
Loons says:
who knows
Loons says:
he may be the trump card
ME Inc. says:
wah lau!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Loons says:
hha
Loons says:
eh....
Loons says:
why u wah lau so loud
Loons says:
nothing wrong
Loons says:
wattt
ME Inc. says:
i'm so disillusioned ... sigh
ME Inc. says:
there i am trying to regain my faith in love and forever...
Loons says:
sure sure
Loons says:
sista
Loons says:
that is also a dream
Loons says:
if noone has told you by now
ME Inc. says:
URGH
Loons says:
so is any other (my company, her ex-company) girl i know pregnant again...say like a*******?
ME Inc. says:
me.
Loons says:
siao
ME Inc. says:
oei
Loons says:
not funny
ME Inc. says:
aren't u supposed to express shock?
ME Inc. says:
ok, failed attempt
ME Inc. says:
sigh
ME Inc. says:
no one lah
Loons says:
ummm... yes very
Loons says:
someone gave me the best advise some 5 years back
Loons says:
to clear your path, u need to first get out of shit
Loons says:
then u will see what lies ahead
Loons says:
ergh - smelly
Loons says:
but worth it
Loons says:
good advice, painful decision, but good advice
Loons says:
u'll see
Loons says:
now that u know what can be done and what will u do
Loons says:
the choice will be clear
Loons says:
in time
Loons says:
i sound shady and almost naggy
ME Inc. says:
haha - what an obscure advice
ME Inc. says:
yes, shady yes
Loons says:
here's to new beginnings!
Loons says:
*hic
ME Inc. says:
*hic! cheers!
Loons says:
btw.... it's a great BIG world out there
Loons says:
don't ever sell yourself short
Loons says:
just do it la......
ME Inc. says:
eeew
ME Inc. says:
so punny
Whatever.
I lurve girl-talk. Over MSN. At the end of the blawdy work-day.
Especially for something I've been eyeing and dying to get. And just when I was complaining about my backside-less phone. Ha.
I was so, so estatic I almost wanted to yell and shake my buddy real damn hard - over MSN. Still, I have to C-O-N-T-R-O-L myself - and it's only January. And maybe, just maybe, when the time comes, I might not even bear to part with my moolah.
Who knows?
Once again, I'd like to thank the Big Man for friends... and MSN. =)))
It was a long conversation with the same buddy, though.
Amidst the lobang-sharing, lots of thoughts/crap/encouragement/crap/advice/crap were shared as well.
Like this (edited):
Loons says:
aiyah, i'm so past working towards that impossible dream
Loons says:
i just want a quiet easy-going life
ME Inc. says:
hur hur
ME Inc. says:
tat is also a dream
ME Inc. says:
it's not easy having a quiet easy-going life, u know
ME Inc. says:
anyways, it's never too late to pursue a dream
ME Inc. says:
i'm still dreaming of becoming a vet... haha
Loons says:
cool
Loons says:
i just read of a cat receiving a kidney transplant
Loons says:
the first in singapore
ME Inc. says:
just tat, i'm really more way past that now
ME Inc. says:
i hv no money to finance the studies.. and at this grand old age, i dun think i can tahan another 6 yrs of medical studies man
Loons says:
aww mann
Loons says:
but u can facilitate
Loons says:
u need not be the doc
Loons says:
but u can be the owner of the clinic
Loons says:
u can own the ambulance co. that ferries the animals around
Loons says:
lots of way to see it... and achieving your dream
ME Inc. says:
haha yeah since i like to drive
ME Inc. says:
no lah - i still like to handle the animals
Loons says:
see.....
Loons says:
now we're thinking
ME Inc. says:
so i think i'd rather be the vet
ME Inc. says:
haha
Loons says:
you can watt
Loons says:
u can be the clinic assistant
(and no way I'm going to be the nurse lor...)
ME Inc. says:
ever since i cut up that damn rabbit in my sec 3 bio class... hahhaha
(ok... just joking. really.)
Loons says:
u can be the annoying pet shop owner who insists on man handling every pet that comes trhough the door
Loons says:
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Loons says:
u're sick
Loons says:
eeeeeeeee
ME Inc. says:
no - NO ENTRANCE UNLESS YOU HAVE AN ANIMAL
Loons says:
so fierce wann
Loons says:
hey hey
Loons says:
can u imagine a really good looking man walking through that door with the dog of ur dreams
Loons says:
ha
ME Inc. says:
yah and his kid in the other hand??
Loons says:
That's a dream i tell you
Loons says:
ummm...
Loons says:
it's ok
Loons says:
it is only marriage
(and Loons is a married woman with one kid - sheesh...)
Loons says:
got exit option wan
Loons says:
it's not like anyone cares about till death do us part anymore
Loons says:
ummm.... but the kid
Loons says:
u should suck up to the kid too la
Loons says:
who knows
Loons says:
he may be the trump card
ME Inc. says:
wah lau!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Loons says:
hha
Loons says:
eh....
Loons says:
why u wah lau so loud
Loons says:
nothing wrong
Loons says:
wattt
ME Inc. says:
i'm so disillusioned ... sigh
ME Inc. says:
there i am trying to regain my faith in love and forever...
Loons says:
sure sure
Loons says:
sista
Loons says:
that is also a dream
Loons says:
if noone has told you by now
ME Inc. says:
URGH
Loons says:
so is any other (my company, her ex-company) girl i know pregnant again...say like a*******?
ME Inc. says:
me.
Loons says:
siao
ME Inc. says:
oei
Loons says:
not funny
ME Inc. says:
aren't u supposed to express shock?
ME Inc. says:
ok, failed attempt
ME Inc. says:
sigh
ME Inc. says:
no one lah
Loons says:
ummm... yes very
Loons says:
someone gave me the best advise some 5 years back
Loons says:
to clear your path, u need to first get out of shit
Loons says:
then u will see what lies ahead
Loons says:
ergh - smelly
Loons says:
but worth it
Loons says:
good advice, painful decision, but good advice
Loons says:
u'll see
Loons says:
now that u know what can be done and what will u do
Loons says:
the choice will be clear
Loons says:
in time
Loons says:
i sound shady and almost naggy
ME Inc. says:
haha - what an obscure advice
ME Inc. says:
yes, shady yes
Loons says:
here's to new beginnings!
Loons says:
*hic
ME Inc. says:
*hic! cheers!
Loons says:
btw.... it's a great BIG world out there
Loons says:
don't ever sell yourself short
Loons says:
just do it la......
ME Inc. says:
eeew
ME Inc. says:
so punny
Whatever.
I lurve girl-talk. Over MSN. At the end of the blawdy work-day.
Gone
I hate my stupid backside-less phone.
I almost left the battery behind at the coffee stall.
My phone has been the butt of many a joke on me these days:
"Wah, you carrying bomb around ah?"
"Wah lau, how ancient is your phone?"
"Yeer, how come your phone no cover one?"
But... for some reasons, I love it too much to trade it off nor to let it get replaced.
It's like having a hopelessly disobedient kid - it frustrates you to the core but you just have to learn to live with it.
"I like your present. Very useful."
"I know. From all our bitching sessions, we know we keep worrying we might turn into our parents."
Great. At least a second person I know likes my carefully-picked Christmas present. I am beginning to love Borders even more.
But speaking of presents.
My heart broke when I heard about my favorite present for the favorite person. The one that cost me so much fretting and hard-to-keep moolah.
Maybe it's all fated to be.
Big Man, you're really good at testing my soul, aren't you?
I almost left the battery behind at the coffee stall.
My phone has been the butt of many a joke on me these days:
"Wah, you carrying bomb around ah?"
"Wah lau, how ancient is your phone?"
"Yeer, how come your phone no cover one?"
But... for some reasons, I love it too much to trade it off nor to let it get replaced.
It's like having a hopelessly disobedient kid - it frustrates you to the core but you just have to learn to live with it.
"I like your present. Very useful."
"I know. From all our bitching sessions, we know we keep worrying we might turn into our parents."
Great. At least a second person I know likes my carefully-picked Christmas present. I am beginning to love Borders even more.
But speaking of presents.
My heart broke when I heard about my favorite present for the favorite person. The one that cost me so much fretting and hard-to-keep moolah.
Maybe it's all fated to be.
Big Man, you're really good at testing my soul, aren't you?
Monday, January 02, 2006
"Minah"
It's five in the morning.
I've just reached home barely an hour ago, and usually I'd have gotten hell from Pa at this ungodly hour.
But nooo... I escaped scot-free tonight. All thanks to the old man himself.
I was sipping on my last Hoe, getting ready to head home at half-past-two when my phone rang.
It was Pa - calling from his mobile. Somehow then, I knew it wasn't going to be a nagging phone-call. Phew.
Still, it was so unusual of him to be calling me from his mobile at this hour. He should still be at his mahjong game - why the hell would he be nagging at me when he wasn't home himself yet?
Pa: Mei ah, are you still out?
Mei: Yes.
Pa: Are you going home soon?
Mei: Yes.
Pa: Can you come and pick me when you're going home?
Mei: ?!?!?! ... Er, ok. What time?
Pa: Er... what time are you leaving?
Mei: Soon. Pick you in about half an hour's time?
Pa: Er... ... ok. You give me a call when you're here.
!!!!!
I must go and buy 4D tomorrow liao!
My Pa plays mahjong regularly and almost every Sunday. But he has never done this - that is, asking me to pick him up on my way home, and on such 'friendly' terms. My phone conversations with him at such hours would usually be a much more hostile one:
Pa: Mei ah!!! Still not coming back?!?!
Mei: Ha na... out with friend lah.
Pa: You ah!!! Tomorrow no need to work ah?!?! Every night sleep so late!!!
Mei: ... ... (dying to hang up on him) ... Ok ok. Coming home soon.
*clicks*
And I'd hang up on him before he could yell another word. The timing is always just so right - he'd call everytime just when I'd have already parked my car, but just before I could step into the house.
It was so weird tonight, I almost freaked out.
I figured. He must have lost quite a bit at his mahjong game tonight - and he'd no money to take a cab home.
Yeah, that must be it.
I sensed the uncertainty in his voice anyway, and I knew he wouldn't be ready by the time I reached where he was.
I ended up arriving a little too early at a quarter to three, and then the phonecall came - as expected:
Pa: *sounding a tad sheepish* Er, Mei ah, I still cannot finish the game leh. You wait for me until I call you, ok.
Mei: *rolling my eyes and throwing a dirty look* Ok...
And I ended up drinking kopi-o alone at this dodgy kopitiam along Craig Road at three in the morning. I was simply inviting stares from all the dirty old men and foreign workers, who eyed me and then the Thai girls standing outside the kopitiam.
And trust me, I wouldn't know where the hell Craig Road is as well, if not for my old man.
I couldn't stay at the kopitiam for long. I ended up reading my book in the car. Which, by the way, is a very bad idea, after three Hoes and a quick kopi-o rushed down your throat.
By the time my old man appeared, I realized I had been waiting for almost an hour, almost stuffed to death in my car.
I didn't talk much on the way home; he was just nagging at the speed I was driving at. As usual, I ignored by keeping my mouth shut and keeping my foot on the accelerator.
I would never figure out if he really had no more money for a cab ride, or if he was just saving himself that cab money.
Sigh.
I don't mind picking you up, Pa.
Just that, if you'd like me to fetch you home again, please stop nagging at my late nights - ALL THE TIME.
*****
Now it's almost six.
The kopitiam downstairs has started operation - I can hear the glasses clanking away.
Time to snooze. I have barely a couple of hours left.
Of all things to do, I have to make myself a breakfast appointment at nine in the morning - on the last day of my 'holiday' before I hurl myself back into the throes of work.
Sigh. One bad decision already.
I've just reached home barely an hour ago, and usually I'd have gotten hell from Pa at this ungodly hour.
But nooo... I escaped scot-free tonight. All thanks to the old man himself.
I was sipping on my last Hoe, getting ready to head home at half-past-two when my phone rang.
It was Pa - calling from his mobile. Somehow then, I knew it wasn't going to be a nagging phone-call. Phew.
Still, it was so unusual of him to be calling me from his mobile at this hour. He should still be at his mahjong game - why the hell would he be nagging at me when he wasn't home himself yet?
Pa: Mei ah, are you still out?
Mei: Yes.
Pa: Are you going home soon?
Mei: Yes.
Pa: Can you come and pick me when you're going home?
Mei: ?!?!?! ... Er, ok. What time?
Pa: Er... what time are you leaving?
Mei: Soon. Pick you in about half an hour's time?
Pa: Er... ... ok. You give me a call when you're here.
!!!!!
I must go and buy 4D tomorrow liao!
My Pa plays mahjong regularly and almost every Sunday. But he has never done this - that is, asking me to pick him up on my way home, and on such 'friendly' terms. My phone conversations with him at such hours would usually be a much more hostile one:
Pa: Mei ah!!! Still not coming back?!?!
Mei: Ha na... out with friend lah.
Pa: You ah!!! Tomorrow no need to work ah?!?! Every night sleep so late!!!
Mei: ... ... (dying to hang up on him) ... Ok ok. Coming home soon.
*clicks*
And I'd hang up on him before he could yell another word. The timing is always just so right - he'd call everytime just when I'd have already parked my car, but just before I could step into the house.
It was so weird tonight, I almost freaked out.
I figured. He must have lost quite a bit at his mahjong game tonight - and he'd no money to take a cab home.
Yeah, that must be it.
I sensed the uncertainty in his voice anyway, and I knew he wouldn't be ready by the time I reached where he was.
I ended up arriving a little too early at a quarter to three, and then the phonecall came - as expected:
Pa: *sounding a tad sheepish* Er, Mei ah, I still cannot finish the game leh. You wait for me until I call you, ok.
Mei: *rolling my eyes and throwing a dirty look* Ok...
And I ended up drinking kopi-o alone at this dodgy kopitiam along Craig Road at three in the morning. I was simply inviting stares from all the dirty old men and foreign workers, who eyed me and then the Thai girls standing outside the kopitiam.
And trust me, I wouldn't know where the hell Craig Road is as well, if not for my old man.
I couldn't stay at the kopitiam for long. I ended up reading my book in the car. Which, by the way, is a very bad idea, after three Hoes and a quick kopi-o rushed down your throat.
By the time my old man appeared, I realized I had been waiting for almost an hour, almost stuffed to death in my car.
I didn't talk much on the way home; he was just nagging at the speed I was driving at. As usual, I ignored by keeping my mouth shut and keeping my foot on the accelerator.
I would never figure out if he really had no more money for a cab ride, or if he was just saving himself that cab money.
Sigh.
I don't mind picking you up, Pa.
Just that, if you'd like me to fetch you home again, please stop nagging at my late nights - ALL THE TIME.
*****
Now it's almost six.
The kopitiam downstairs has started operation - I can hear the glasses clanking away.
Time to snooze. I have barely a couple of hours left.
Of all things to do, I have to make myself a breakfast appointment at nine in the morning - on the last day of my 'holiday' before I hurl myself back into the throes of work.
Sigh. One bad decision already.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Day One
Ok, I just have to write today - just because I have to jot down something on the first day of the new year. =)
I notice I've been spending tons of latte money at the cafe.
No choice. This is my only haven these days, where I have peace to think and jot.
Home is too distracting with the little man singing and teasing me while he's awake. There is always someone else on my bed too - and it's not just Piper nor Gracie. If it's not the little man taking his afternoon nap, it's my mom snoring away.
I need some lone time, and oddly, I can't find it at home.
Sorry, Mom.
The thinking is over and done with. I made my deadline.
Not that I've gotten any answer, but I have decided anyway: no more questions. To a large degree, I'm glad nothing came out of my mouth that night. Things could've gotten a little worse than they already are. What for?
I'll save my worries for other stuff - like, if I should drink tonight, if I should buy another book, if I should get myself that damn pda-phone, if I should air-con my room, if I should buy myself that Paul Smith cardholder because my beloved wallet is threatening to burst. See? I have got lots of other albeit frivolous things to take care of. Ha.
And then, when it's time to make the big decision, I'll start thinking again.
Till then, I'll just have to focus on finding joy in every little thing I have to do everyday. Yes, even if it's work. (Urgh.)
I think I'm getting pretty good at self-coping.
Friends, no friends - I'll still get on with life everyday.
No drinks? I'll still chill out at the cafe myself.
No travel buddies? I'll still travel on my own.
No movie buddies? Er... I'll not watch on my own, I'll just chill out at the cafe. Ha.
Oh yes. I have made a promise to myself.
I will need to start my travels in 2006. And I don't mean the darned business travels.
Two trips to somewhere. How's that for a start?
I just hope I have the money and time to.
On a happier note, Mr Welsh continues to write. =)
Now, I have pictures of Wales in my email. Wahaha.
While he says he'd like to travel more to 'warmer climates' like ours, I say I'd like to see snow for real one day.
Somehow... Maybe... One day... =) Yeah, I should really make Europe my destination in 2006.
*****
I just remembered.
I had already gotten someone his Christmas gift way back in October.
Now, it's just one of his many gifts.
I sure hope I'd gotten the address right, and he's received it in his mail by now.
*Fingers crossed*
The Chronicles of Narnia is showing in the theatres now.
I wonder, if my invitation would come after all. =)
I notice I've been spending tons of latte money at the cafe.
No choice. This is my only haven these days, where I have peace to think and jot.
Home is too distracting with the little man singing and teasing me while he's awake. There is always someone else on my bed too - and it's not just Piper nor Gracie. If it's not the little man taking his afternoon nap, it's my mom snoring away.
I need some lone time, and oddly, I can't find it at home.
Sorry, Mom.
The thinking is over and done with. I made my deadline.
Not that I've gotten any answer, but I have decided anyway: no more questions. To a large degree, I'm glad nothing came out of my mouth that night. Things could've gotten a little worse than they already are. What for?
I'll save my worries for other stuff - like, if I should drink tonight, if I should buy another book, if I should get myself that damn pda-phone, if I should air-con my room, if I should buy myself that Paul Smith cardholder because my beloved wallet is threatening to burst. See? I have got lots of other albeit frivolous things to take care of. Ha.
And then, when it's time to make the big decision, I'll start thinking again.
Till then, I'll just have to focus on finding joy in every little thing I have to do everyday. Yes, even if it's work. (Urgh.)
I think I'm getting pretty good at self-coping.
Friends, no friends - I'll still get on with life everyday.
No drinks? I'll still chill out at the cafe myself.
No travel buddies? I'll still travel on my own.
No movie buddies? Er... I'll not watch on my own, I'll just chill out at the cafe. Ha.
Oh yes. I have made a promise to myself.
I will need to start my travels in 2006. And I don't mean the darned business travels.
Two trips to somewhere. How's that for a start?
I just hope I have the money and time to.
On a happier note, Mr Welsh continues to write. =)
Now, I have pictures of Wales in my email. Wahaha.
While he says he'd like to travel more to 'warmer climates' like ours, I say I'd like to see snow for real one day.
Somehow... Maybe... One day... =) Yeah, I should really make Europe my destination in 2006.
*****
I just remembered.
I had already gotten someone his Christmas gift way back in October.
Now, it's just one of his many gifts.
I sure hope I'd gotten the address right, and he's received it in his mail by now.
*Fingers crossed*
The Chronicles of Narnia is showing in the theatres now.
I wonder, if my invitation would come after all. =)
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