In Memory of Michael...

I'd always loved this picture.

I'd always thought the three of us dudes here were one of your bestest friends in the team. I just know. Because, despite what the others might've said of you, we loved you for who you really were - not what you did or did not do. We loved you when you acted the diva, but we didn't love you less when you didn't do your numbers well.

I'd always known it hadn't been the easiest, nor greatest, of times for you in the team - and I thought for that, you reciprocated our friendship by giving us your vulnerable, yet utmost trust.

But today, a dark gloomy today, I feel worse than the weather. Had I betrayed your trust, by not being the friend you'd trusted me to be?

There are plenty words of regrets stuck in my throat, and in my mind.

I am sorry I hadn't been attentive to you, like I used to be, in the last few weeks of my stay. Just because I had woes of my own, I neglected a friend who needed my ear and my words - more than I needed them.

I am sorry I hadn't shown you more love than I did, I'm sorry I did nothing much to make you feel more at ease with the whole family.

But - I am happy. That you told me, just before I left, you were getting happier at work. That you were loving the team more. That you were finally feeling comfortable with the whole big family.

And, most of all, you're a son of God. And I am happiest that while I will never see you again, I know at least, you're safely tucked in His arms.


It hadn't been easy being who you were, I suppose. Coming out in front of us must've been a tough one.

But you know what, darling? It wasn't such a big deal, after all.

My darling Michael, I'll always remember how you cooed "my daarling" whenever you saw me. It's such a pity - you'd never been able to see those flutters in my heart.


If there's one last regret I have to say, it's that I wished I had gone back to the office much earlier from lunch last Friday.

I would have seen you before you left for the airport. And given you a last big bear hug.


Thank you, Michael, for being my friend.

Thank you for allowing me to be your friend.

Thank you for giving me now one of the best lessons in life.

I love, and will always miss you.


For now, I just wanna take a good walk in the rain outside.

Six

Go Piper, it's your birthday.
We're gonna party now, it's your birthday.

Wait a minute... Did I also sing this song for my baby last year? Er...


My little girl turns six today. And that is also the same number of years that have gone past since we met each other. Since the day I first saw her 'swimming' on the ceramic-tiled floor, eyes barely open yet.

Six good years since the day I went home with all of the tiny four-legged furry baby in my one girly palm.

There are just some things in life you'll never, ever forget.


Pipe's looking better and better by the day now. Her once-red skin is slowly regaining the healthful light-pinkish tinge.

Right. Just for this big day, Mommy's gonna remove that awful-looking Victorian collar that's making you look like some weird flower.




That's the house-police dog with the birthday ang pow from her Ah Ma. =)




May you have only happier days to come, baby.

Momsy wuff wuff wuff wuff you.

"All You Have Is Today..."

Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I think.

I don't, sometimes, recognize me. Not, at least, some part of the-now me.

Oh. What a major revelation.


I miss me.


Ah well. Tomorrow will be a nicer day. *Paws crossed*

Crashing

I see I'm being sporadic again, but I also feel like I have a million little words, all stuck right there at the larynx.

If I have one-thousand-and-one programs running simultaneously in my hard-disk, I think nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine of them are causing me to hang - and possibly crash soon too.

But ah, you know me.

If I am this quiet, you'd know I'm doing that much thinking.

Talk soon. Real soon.

... And I Hate YouTube Too

Oh, oh, oh. And that thing called YouTube.

I love, yet so much hate hate hate you too. =/

I Love You, But I Hate You Too

Me and that thing called Technology. It's been a roller-coaster, love-hate affair.

One minute, I declare to the whole wide world it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. The next, I'm cussing and swearing it to death.

My cell-phone, in particular, had been a long-standing heartache. Until the day I got the new toy. And then, the heartache set in when I somehow lost the stylus. Ah, hate. And then, someone I bumped into gave me a brand new one. L-o-v-e.

I've been using my P-Book without a battery pack for the past two weeks - hate. I am waiting for a brand-new one, which is pretty timely since my original battery had been running flat-out within an hour but the waiting kinda sucks 'cos I still have about another two more weeks to go. Ok, a teeny bit of love there.

My iPod, barely a year old, just decided to stop working and hang on me one fine day. Which caused me major duress, since fixing an MP3 player is like the least favored priority in my life now. Quite some hate. The Apple folks were sweet enough to declare it a 'hard-disk failure' and replace me with a brand-new one - free-of-charge - within the next few days. Oh, trust me, there was a lot of love.

Just about three days ago, I was struck with the latest blow. A major one. I lost some sleep to nightmares for two nights.

My P-Book creaked and clicked, and just died on me. And I was no tech-paramedic. The once-sweet-turned-sour Applets took one look, and dropped the bomb: I think your hard-disk is going to crash very soon, you'd better do some back-up on your files before you decide if you want to send it in for diagnosis.

And how long will it take for diagnosis and repair? (Read: And how long am I going to live without a computer?!)

Oh, at least five working days, ma'am.

Hate. HATE. H-A-T-E.

Sometimes, you just don't realize how much you need someone - until you've lost him, or her.

The same goes for a computer. Or at least, mine, I think. I call it my 'livelihood', my life-line, now.

I fell into a daze the same night, and for pretty much the whole of the next day. Until I made a painful decision. That is, to make a lone trip to Sim Lim and get me my own external hard-disk drive. Back-up, and then repair. Fuck it.

I had to ask questions like a real techo-idiot. Because I am. And no one at Sim Lim seems to tolerate one, not especially a female one.

Why must I buy the hard-disk and the casing separately? Why is the casing so expensive?! What's the difference between the big-big and the small-small one? Got any difference between brands? Got warranty? What if my back-up disk fails? How do I set it up? How? How? HOW?

But I suppose the seemingly daunting trip didn't turn out as hellish. I think I must've walked into the right store. Either that, or I must've employed the right tactic.

When you're an idiot, don't act like one, not especially a female one. Just flash a wide-toothed grin and play the damsel-in-distress. Well, I was really in distress, anyway.

Then, just go all out and boost the ego of the salesman (yes, please choose a man if you don't desire rolling eyes from bitchy female sales assistants). You will only make him feel like he knows everything (about computer hardware, anyway), much more than you do. Like he's the hero who puts you out of misery in your life - albeit just for that few short moments.

In reality, after the role-playing was done, I felt more like I was some auntie being conned by some supermarket mushroom-frying salesman at the frozen foods department. I didn't need a freakin' 160-giga disk, but I bought one anyway. Simply because of some quick 'rational' calculation in the head: a 160-giga disk for 165 bucks, which makes it 1-giga for 1 buck. Why the hell not?!

And of course, I was sweet-talked to (read: 'conned'). Need you ask?

The damsel insisted - politely - that the hero assembled and formatted the disk on her behalf. Upon some further cajoling, the hero offered some little troubleshooting of the computer, and then some valiant advice: I don't think there's anything wrong with your hard-disk because if it was dying, it would've just died on you. Period. I think it could just be an overheating problem. If I were you, I wouldn't repair anything till something happens - since you have back-up now. Just get some fans too.

Oh.

Anyhow, back-up is always good. I didn't spend 165 bucks on nothing. I think I just saved myself hundreds more.

Love.

Or at least till the hero proves me wrong. Terribly wrong.

Paws crossed...

i-AmSam?

What if, today, I said I would like to get me an English name? Some silly English name, just like every other person, that no one will ever have the excuse of not remembering again?

I'm pretty sure 'Fatmama' will do the trick. But no way?

"You cannot do girly names. You need something more tomboy." The chicks said. Basket.

So, Wendy's out. (But I'd really like to be Wendy... so my Peter Pan will come flying to me one day.)

Well... maybe, Jude. (Because I am what... hahaha.)

My chicks finally settled on Samantha - yes, on my behalf.

"Mmm... we can imagine ourselves calling you 'Sam' for short. Sam! Sam! Sam!"

Er... why am I not convinced?

Pictures That Breathe Soul

Oh boy! My one-week-long stress was pretty worth it, after all.

My new 'boss' Les likes my material, almost as much as I love his pictures.


Go take a look at our new project at Soulbreath Pictures.


More to come. Soon... I promise. =)

i-Obsess

"I am sick... very very sick."

[2006/09/02 08:49:30] sasyz said: morn
[2006/09/02 08:49:32] sasyz said: so early ya
[2006/09/02 08:49:37] ME Inc. said: ya... haha
[2006/09/02 08:50:21] sasyz said: what u obsess with
[2006/09/02 08:50:54] ME Inc. said: er... u know one
[2006/09/02 08:50:59] sasyz said: har
[2006/09/02 08:51:06] sasyz said: again.... thot it went away
[2006/09/02 08:51:14] ME Inc. said: i thought so too!
[2006/09/02 08:51:17] sasyz said: obsessive compulsion
[2006/09/02 08:51:26] ME Inc. said: er..
[2006/09/02 08:51:43] sasyz said: cos i think it transcends beyond mere obsession already
[2006/09/02 08:51:59] sasyz said: chinese we say zou huo ru mo
[2006/09/02 08:52:10] sasyz said: walk fire into devil
[2006/09/02 08:52:12] sasyz said: haha
[2006/09/02 08:52:22] ME Inc. said: not funny leh... how??
[2006/09/02 08:52:32] sasyz said: not intended to be funny
[2006/09/02 08:52:36] sasyz said: so no need how.

Erm...

Before I forget about him.


*Photo sweetly contributed to my memory by Les =)

Choda Shigehiro.