I'm getting so fed-up at work.
So fed-up, I wrote an email to my teammates at work. Setting my expectations of myself against whatever they have of or against me.
"Being fed-up has got its limits too, u know" was my reply to a fellow mate who has been standing by me.
"If you know me, I advocate openness and respect for everyone in the team." So I wrote at the end.
It wasn't an usual communication, but my personal motto has always been to be open. To be honest.
Brutally honest.
In life. At work. As a friend. Wherever you operate as a human being.
If being brutally honest hurts your pride, I am sorry but I don't wish to let myself down as well.
The fellow office mate wrote to say he respected me for me being open and willing to communicate.
To which, I replied:
"Just an advice from a friend: in life, and not just in work, it pays to be open and to communicate. Many times, friendships fail, relationships break down – all because of pride and of lack of open honest communication.
If you actually try, it's not that hard to admit mistakes, say sorry... and most of all, to tell someone you really love him/her."
In my case, being open broke my relationship down and I lost my best friend.
Any regrets?
Kind of. But at least, I eventually knew.
If I hadn't been open about my feelings, you wouldn't have been either. And I would probably still be living in darkness, and you in hell.
I'm not sorry I asked. I'm just sorry you hadn't been honest with me earlier enough.
We could've saved ourselves so much heartache.
I have no regrets being open.
I will only have regrets shutting my feelings inside of me, letting them all be buried with me in the ground.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Strong
"to me, u r an embodiment of quiet strength, silent confidence, with a fragile veil of romanticism still over eyes that is quickly vanishing... ... i am drawn to u, to ur wicked sense of humour, the way u r real, the way u see all the stupidity in this world and toast it all away suavely with beer... ... reason can only bring u this far, beyond which the knockings of ur heart will tear your defenses down and u eventually need to face your deepest desires and fears. soar. happily, not heavily."
From a dear, dear friend.
Times like this when you feel really stupid being in this world, it's friends like these who pull you back and tell you you're being loved... somewhere, somehow, by someone.
From a dear, dear friend.
Times like this when you feel really stupid being in this world, it's friends like these who pull you back and tell you you're being loved... somewhere, somehow, by someone.
'Away'
My nick goes with a personal message that says "就请你当作我已不在".
Friend: Eh, what does it mean - pls take it that I am not around?
Me: 'away' status lah.
Friend: oic.
And he bought into it. *Sigh*
就请你当作我已不在... 还是，该我当作你已不在？
Friend: Eh, what does it mean - pls take it that I am not around?
Me: 'away' status lah.
Friend: oic.
And he bought into it. *Sigh*
就请你当作我已不在... 还是，该我当作你已不在？
Suaku-speak
Wah! I have like 32 friends online at the same time.
Never before a 'feat'. That's a little more than 30% of my entire list.
And I remember the days when the man used to laugh at me: "Wah, you got 10 friends online ah. So many ah, not bad what..."
Farking 'ell.
I just missed out on the Internet-generation.
I am an oldie. I should be glad I even have an MSN list now.
Back in varsity days, if you had a computer, you'd find yourself suddenly swarmed with lots of 'friends' in hall.
"Hello, can I use your computer tonight? I have FYP report to do."
Never mind if it was a 486 or a Pentium I.
Infrastructure? What infrastructure?
Oh, you mean the telephone port to which you hooked up your 56k dial-up modem?
Oh yah, we had that.
In our days, we spent lazy hours watching TV together, going for runs, drinking mindlessly, talking cock - anything but playing LAN games.
If we wanted to relay a message, we would call each other on the land line, or text each other like crazy on the cell (at least SMS-es were free in those days).
"Eh."
"What?"
"Come to my room leh."
"Why?"
"Just come lah."
Few seconds later, my next-door neighbor turned up at my door to see me lying comfortably under my covers in bed.
"Can help me switch off lights and close the door?"
Friendster? ICQ? Simi lai eh?
That was what welcomed the man in his first year of school.
Couple of years later, by the time he was in his final year, you would be pathetic if you didn't have your own personal computer.
On a quiet weekday night in the hall, if you stood by the window and listened hard enough, you'd hear echoes of 'uh-ohs' throughout the compound.
Nobody spoke to each other much anymore; everyone just 'uh-ohed' one another.
Heck, no one even subscribed to a land line anymore. Instead, all they knew was the LAN line.
Just plug and go.
If you had more than 300 friends in your Friendster account, you probably wouldn't know more than half of them, other than the fact that they were your "hi-bye" hallmates from some other block, or that they were the friends of the friends of your friends.
I have barely 70 friends on Friendster.
I have only 100 friends on MSN, and worse, only 7 on Yahoo! - or something like that.
Only a handful of us keeps a blog, and I don't think anyone else is on multiple online-community sites as I am.
I must say, we've advanced and aged pretty gracefully, haven't we?
Never before a 'feat'. That's a little more than 30% of my entire list.
And I remember the days when the man used to laugh at me: "Wah, you got 10 friends online ah. So many ah, not bad what..."
Farking 'ell.
I just missed out on the Internet-generation.
I am an oldie. I should be glad I even have an MSN list now.
Back in varsity days, if you had a computer, you'd find yourself suddenly swarmed with lots of 'friends' in hall.
"Hello, can I use your computer tonight? I have FYP report to do."
Never mind if it was a 486 or a Pentium I.
Infrastructure? What infrastructure?
Oh, you mean the telephone port to which you hooked up your 56k dial-up modem?
Oh yah, we had that.
In our days, we spent lazy hours watching TV together, going for runs, drinking mindlessly, talking cock - anything but playing LAN games.
If we wanted to relay a message, we would call each other on the land line, or text each other like crazy on the cell (at least SMS-es were free in those days).
"Eh."
"What?"
"Come to my room leh."
"Why?"
"Just come lah."
Few seconds later, my next-door neighbor turned up at my door to see me lying comfortably under my covers in bed.
"Can help me switch off lights and close the door?"
Friendster? ICQ? Simi lai eh?
That was what welcomed the man in his first year of school.
Couple of years later, by the time he was in his final year, you would be pathetic if you didn't have your own personal computer.
On a quiet weekday night in the hall, if you stood by the window and listened hard enough, you'd hear echoes of 'uh-ohs' throughout the compound.
Nobody spoke to each other much anymore; everyone just 'uh-ohed' one another.
Heck, no one even subscribed to a land line anymore. Instead, all they knew was the LAN line.
Just plug and go.
If you had more than 300 friends in your Friendster account, you probably wouldn't know more than half of them, other than the fact that they were your "hi-bye" hallmates from some other block, or that they were the friends of the friends of your friends.
I have barely 70 friends on Friendster.
I have only 100 friends on MSN, and worse, only 7 on Yahoo! - or something like that.
Only a handful of us keeps a blog, and I don't think anyone else is on multiple online-community sites as I am.
I must say, we've advanced and aged pretty gracefully, haven't we?
Monday, February 27, 2006
Supermodel
A passerby saw this picture of Piper on my desktop...
... and exclaimed, "Oh, is that your dog? So adorable! What a nice picture, just like a studio shot."
Hiak hiak. I know.
... and exclaimed, "Oh, is that your dog? So adorable! What a nice picture, just like a studio shot."
Hiak hiak. I know.
Smashing... Smashed.
As I've said, it was a smashing Friday.
All because the meeting had finally ended, and because we all ended up smashed that night.
It started out fine. The bunch of us beer-guzzling office folks.
Then the monkeys turned up. And the fun began.
Then the photog started giving instructions to the 'models' on the poses he wanted. Actually, I was the one who gave the instructions and insisted on being the model as well. Ha.
The "washing powder" look. That is, "selling washing powder".
The "you-did-something-really-bad-and-your-parents-found-out-about-it" look.
The "silly fish" look.
And then, when the pints kept coming non-stop, the gay shots started appearing.
There were many other incriminating shots but I would be too embarrassed to show them off.
The bill came up a hefty sum. We put it all on my card, and we simply assumed Boss would sign it off.
I bledy hope so.
In my drunken stupor, I made a silly bet with the friends at Ice Cold.
I said: By the end of this year, I would bring Jay to this very pub.
Friends: *Laughs and laughs... and laughs*
Basket.
And so, fifty bucks were put on the table. Winner takes all.
When I became a little not-so-drunk, I said to my friends again: The odds are not fair. They are against me.
And so again, after some haggling, it was decided that I would win a hundred bucks if they lose, or I would lose fifty bucks if they win.
When I came home, I was like: What the hell did I just do?
The tough period is over - for the time being.
It's time to plan my long-due trip to Taipei.
Hiak.
All because the meeting had finally ended, and because we all ended up smashed that night.
It started out fine. The bunch of us beer-guzzling office folks.
Then the monkeys turned up. And the fun began.
Then the photog started giving instructions to the 'models' on the poses he wanted. Actually, I was the one who gave the instructions and insisted on being the model as well. Ha.
The "washing powder" look. That is, "selling washing powder".
The "you-did-something-really-bad-and-your-parents-found-out-about-it" look.
The "silly fish" look.
And then, when the pints kept coming non-stop, the gay shots started appearing.
There were many other incriminating shots but I would be too embarrassed to show them off.
The bill came up a hefty sum. We put it all on my card, and we simply assumed Boss would sign it off.
I bledy hope so.
In my drunken stupor, I made a silly bet with the friends at Ice Cold.
I said: By the end of this year, I would bring Jay to this very pub.
Friends: *Laughs and laughs... and laughs*
Basket.
And so, fifty bucks were put on the table. Winner takes all.
When I became a little not-so-drunk, I said to my friends again: The odds are not fair. They are against me.
And so again, after some haggling, it was decided that I would win a hundred bucks if they lose, or I would lose fifty bucks if they win.
When I came home, I was like: What the hell did I just do?
The tough period is over - for the time being.
It's time to plan my long-due trip to Taipei.
Hiak.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Somewhere, Somehow, Someday
It was a very, very tired Saturday for me.
I had barely eight hours of sleep in total over the last week, and I had a bit too much on Friday when the meeting was finally over. I just couldn't get enough of much-needed rest yesterday.
Still, I had to drag my ass out of bed for a lunch gathering, and then again in the night for a dinner. I felt like a zombie throughout.
Between the time I got home last night to the time I took my bath to the time I finally switched my lights off and retired to rest, I fell asleep twice. And during the two short naps, I had two awfully-sad dreams.
Those dreams that woke me up when I realized I was about to cry again.
Dreams that seemed so true, they stuck in my head even after I'm up and awake 12 hours later.
I can't help all the thinking that's going on in my mind now. There must be a reason for these dreams.
There must be a message for me somewhere, somehow.
If my dreams were really coming true someday, then I think it's better to end it all now, than to get hurt by you again.
I had barely eight hours of sleep in total over the last week, and I had a bit too much on Friday when the meeting was finally over. I just couldn't get enough of much-needed rest yesterday.
Still, I had to drag my ass out of bed for a lunch gathering, and then again in the night for a dinner. I felt like a zombie throughout.
Between the time I got home last night to the time I took my bath to the time I finally switched my lights off and retired to rest, I fell asleep twice. And during the two short naps, I had two awfully-sad dreams.
Those dreams that woke me up when I realized I was about to cry again.
Dreams that seemed so true, they stuck in my head even after I'm up and awake 12 hours later.
I can't help all the thinking that's going on in my mind now. There must be a reason for these dreams.
There must be a message for me somewhere, somehow.
If my dreams were really coming true someday, then I think it's better to end it all now, than to get hurt by you again.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
I am...
Heroine? Or fool?
For the past five years, I have always parked my car outside at the housing estate across the road from the office building. The season parking at the office building costs twice as much. Only a short walk across the street, and a bit more. Not a big deal.
I am not the most religious season-parking payee you have out there.
Somehow I dislike the idea of paying via GIRO. And I never pay for anything more than a month's worth of season-parking.at any time. I'd rather join the queue at the HDB office every month.
Why? If I ever quit, it's less of a hassle - no need to cancel GIRO, no need to ask for refund of subsequently unused parking. I see it also as a good morning break from my desk once a month. Ha.
That said, you'd never find me queueing anytime before the first of every month, nor on the first or the second day itself. If I'm good, I'd be buying my ticket only on the 4th, or the 5th. I simply hate having to queue when everyone else is scrambling to get their parking on time.
In that manner, I'm a risk-taker. I am running out of excuses everytime I get booked for 'parking without a valid season parking coupon'.
I haven't bought my season ticket for the month of February. And I didn't intend to.
There was a long Chinese New Year break from work, then there was the long travelling schedule from Hong Kong to Portland. By the time I was back to work, there were only a few more days left in the short month of February to go.
I refused to pay for the full amount just for a few days.
So, I took a risk again, and decided to 'park without a valid season parking coupon' everyday. And then pray I wouldn't get booked. Anyway, if I did ever get a booking, it'd cost me fifty bucks, which would still fifteen bucks be less than the season parking cost.
Can. Can take the risk. I didn't think I would really be that 'suay'.
Friday, February 24. Only 3 more working days to go. And still no ticket. Good.
Had a chat with an office mate in the morning, and made a startling discovery.
There is a 'Park and Ride' carpark across the other road on the other side. A slightly further walk from the office.
And it costs all of only three bucks to park for the entire day. Three dollars for a day! On which bloody planet had I been living?
A season-parking ticket in that carpark would cost me seventy bucks, but forty of it would go into the top-up of an Easylink card - and my parking would effectively cost me only one dollar per day - one freakin' dollar a day!
Mai tu liao.
Left the office, walked across the road to the carpark, toward my car - only to see a ticket stuck between my windscreen wipers.
I knew it.
I knew the Big Guy would not stop playing tricks on me.
Why? Why wouldn't the parking attendant come just a little bit later?!
Drove over to the other carpark. Spotted a couple of attendants making their rounds.
I found a lot, parked my car, and placed three one-dollar coupons on my dashboard.
As I left the carpark, I decided to check out what the cars were being booked for. To my astonishment, I saw that all the cars with three one-dollar coupons were booked.
I walked up to the attendant and asked, "Uncle, isn't this a Park-and-Ride carpark?"
"Yes, Miss."
"Isn't it only three-dollars per day?"
"Yah."
"Then why are you booking all these cars?"
"Oh no, Miss. You need to buy the season-parking coupon then you can park for three dollars."
"Er... no, I don't think so. I think without coupon also can park for three-dollars."
Then came the best part.
Uncle: "Is it? Are you sure?"
Wah lau eh!
Because I insisted, Uncle checked with his other buddy. Who apparently seemed confused by me now as well.
I rolled my eyes and thought, "Super cannot make it."
A radio-call was made back to the office to confirm on my 'allegations'.
A little while later, Uncle said, "Sorry ah, Miss. You are right."
After which, he and his buddy went back to all the cars to remove the tickets.
I shook my head in disbelief, and at the same time, felt a sense of heroic pride beaming all over me.
Now, I cannot believe how many tickets I have paid for that were probably unwarranted.
I have lost faith in the stupid system.
'Very on' is one thing. 'Too on' is another.
For the past five years, I have always parked my car outside at the housing estate across the road from the office building. The season parking at the office building costs twice as much. Only a short walk across the street, and a bit more. Not a big deal.
I am not the most religious season-parking payee you have out there.
Somehow I dislike the idea of paying via GIRO. And I never pay for anything more than a month's worth of season-parking.at any time. I'd rather join the queue at the HDB office every month.
Why? If I ever quit, it's less of a hassle - no need to cancel GIRO, no need to ask for refund of subsequently unused parking. I see it also as a good morning break from my desk once a month. Ha.
That said, you'd never find me queueing anytime before the first of every month, nor on the first or the second day itself. If I'm good, I'd be buying my ticket only on the 4th, or the 5th. I simply hate having to queue when everyone else is scrambling to get their parking on time.
In that manner, I'm a risk-taker. I am running out of excuses everytime I get booked for 'parking without a valid season parking coupon'.
I haven't bought my season ticket for the month of February. And I didn't intend to.
There was a long Chinese New Year break from work, then there was the long travelling schedule from Hong Kong to Portland. By the time I was back to work, there were only a few more days left in the short month of February to go.
I refused to pay for the full amount just for a few days.
So, I took a risk again, and decided to 'park without a valid season parking coupon' everyday. And then pray I wouldn't get booked. Anyway, if I did ever get a booking, it'd cost me fifty bucks, which would still fifteen bucks be less than the season parking cost.
Can. Can take the risk. I didn't think I would really be that 'suay'.
Friday, February 24. Only 3 more working days to go. And still no ticket. Good.
Had a chat with an office mate in the morning, and made a startling discovery.
There is a 'Park and Ride' carpark across the other road on the other side. A slightly further walk from the office.
And it costs all of only three bucks to park for the entire day. Three dollars for a day! On which bloody planet had I been living?
A season-parking ticket in that carpark would cost me seventy bucks, but forty of it would go into the top-up of an Easylink card - and my parking would effectively cost me only one dollar per day - one freakin' dollar a day!
Mai tu liao.
Left the office, walked across the road to the carpark, toward my car - only to see a ticket stuck between my windscreen wipers.
I knew it.
I knew the Big Guy would not stop playing tricks on me.
Why? Why wouldn't the parking attendant come just a little bit later?!
Drove over to the other carpark. Spotted a couple of attendants making their rounds.
I found a lot, parked my car, and placed three one-dollar coupons on my dashboard.
As I left the carpark, I decided to check out what the cars were being booked for. To my astonishment, I saw that all the cars with three one-dollar coupons were booked.
I walked up to the attendant and asked, "Uncle, isn't this a Park-and-Ride carpark?"
"Yes, Miss."
"Isn't it only three-dollars per day?"
"Yah."
"Then why are you booking all these cars?"
"Oh no, Miss. You need to buy the season-parking coupon then you can park for three dollars."
"Er... no, I don't think so. I think without coupon also can park for three-dollars."
Then came the best part.
Uncle: "Is it? Are you sure?"
Wah lau eh!
Because I insisted, Uncle checked with his other buddy. Who apparently seemed confused by me now as well.
I rolled my eyes and thought, "Super cannot make it."
A radio-call was made back to the office to confirm on my 'allegations'.
A little while later, Uncle said, "Sorry ah, Miss. You are right."
After which, he and his buddy went back to all the cars to remove the tickets.
I shook my head in disbelief, and at the same time, felt a sense of heroic pride beaming all over me.
Now, I cannot believe how many tickets I have paid for that were probably unwarranted.
I have lost faith in the stupid system.
'Very on' is one thing. 'Too on' is another.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Olny srmat poelpe can
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmua n mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it denos't mtater in waht oredr the ltetres in a wrod are, the olny iprnoatmt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt.
hur hur.
hur hur.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
小老板
Boss had been in a very foul mood for the past few days.
All because his baby still hadn't popped out yet as scheduled.
And when I say 'foul', I mean his face is really smelly. His impatience was obviously starting to show.
With someone like him who's born with a stern look - think 包青天 complete with the thick furrowed brows - you wouldn't doubt a foul mood and you sure wouldn't wanna go anywhere near him.
This morning, Boss didn't turn up for the big meeting. Instead, I received a message on my phone.
"I'm officially a stressful but relieved father as at 5am this morning."
All of a sudden, all I could imagine in my mind was Boss's iron-face melting into a puddle of bliss as he saw his newborn for the first time.
A warm feeling blanketed over my heart, and I smiled.
Puppies and newborns.
You can never go wrong with them when all you need is a smile.
Congrats, Boss.
All because his baby still hadn't popped out yet as scheduled.
And when I say 'foul', I mean his face is really smelly. His impatience was obviously starting to show.
With someone like him who's born with a stern look - think 包青天 complete with the thick furrowed brows - you wouldn't doubt a foul mood and you sure wouldn't wanna go anywhere near him.
This morning, Boss didn't turn up for the big meeting. Instead, I received a message on my phone.
"I'm officially a stressful but relieved father as at 5am this morning."
All of a sudden, all I could imagine in my mind was Boss's iron-face melting into a puddle of bliss as he saw his newborn for the first time.
A warm feeling blanketed over my heart, and I smiled.
Puppies and newborns.
You can never go wrong with them when all you need is a smile.
Congrats, Boss.
Part-timer
It's fifteen minutes to four, and I've just reached home not too long ago. From work.
Yes, yes... I worked the night-shift again tonight. And the morning shift as well.
Dog life? No, I think a dog's life's way better than mine.
Right, Gracie?
This week so far, I have left home for work every morning before the little one wakes up, and gotten home at night after he's been tucked into bed.
To the little one, probably, it makes no difference whether Gu-gu is in town or not. Hur hur.
It would've been a very sad case if he were my own son. Staying under the same roof, yet not seeing each other till the weekend.
For that, I have another good reason to bid the corporate rat-hole adieu.
Then again, not as if I'm planning a kid of my own anytime soon. Still... think long-term planning. Hmm.
I have been tasked to dig out some very old receipts.
Don't ask me why or how, but I find it very amazing as well that one, I still keep these very old receipts, and two, I can actually find them somewhere deep amongst my very messy desk.
This is what they call 'organized chaos'. Or something like that.
My eyes are red and swollen. And very painful.
My itchy hands started rubbing them hard with my towel after my bath, to wake them up.
I don't know what had gotten into them, but I just hope I can sleep them red-eyes away. I don't want to go to work with weird-looking eyes tomorrow.
I have a big presentation tomorrow, which I worked my ass off for today. All eighteen hours of it.
Worse come to worse, I'll just stand on the stage in my uber-cool 'Third Auntie' shades. Hiak.
*****
Sense that I'm sounding better?
Pretty much thanks to two dear chums, whom I spoke with today. Chums whom I always call whenever I need someone to tell me it's ok to think like I do.
Chums who will give me the encouragement I'm looking for.
Chums who think alike, who don't give a fuck for the corporate world.
Chums who would actually tell me, "It's ok to quit and do what you've always wanted to do. If it makes you happier."
Chums I look up to, and always will.
So. By the end of today, I have kinda made up a large part of my mind.
If I don't get to Portland, I'll still quit my job, and be a part-time vet assistant and/or a part-time preschool teacher.
Maybe take part-time courses on preschooling and vet nursing.
Probably get back to my private tuition stints.
I'll be part-time anything, but a full-time corporate jailbird.
*****
Was on Yahoo! Messenger (which I really hate, by the way) with my best friend Lyn.
Lyn: Hubby says stop pretending... always say work late but actually having affair.
Me: Siao ah. I can openly have affair lor.
Haha.
Yes, yes... I worked the night-shift again tonight. And the morning shift as well.
Dog life? No, I think a dog's life's way better than mine.
Right, Gracie?
This week so far, I have left home for work every morning before the little one wakes up, and gotten home at night after he's been tucked into bed.
To the little one, probably, it makes no difference whether Gu-gu is in town or not. Hur hur.
It would've been a very sad case if he were my own son. Staying under the same roof, yet not seeing each other till the weekend.
For that, I have another good reason to bid the corporate rat-hole adieu.
Then again, not as if I'm planning a kid of my own anytime soon. Still... think long-term planning. Hmm.
I have been tasked to dig out some very old receipts.
Don't ask me why or how, but I find it very amazing as well that one, I still keep these very old receipts, and two, I can actually find them somewhere deep amongst my very messy desk.
This is what they call 'organized chaos'. Or something like that.
My eyes are red and swollen. And very painful.
My itchy hands started rubbing them hard with my towel after my bath, to wake them up.
I don't know what had gotten into them, but I just hope I can sleep them red-eyes away. I don't want to go to work with weird-looking eyes tomorrow.
I have a big presentation tomorrow, which I worked my ass off for today. All eighteen hours of it.
Worse come to worse, I'll just stand on the stage in my uber-cool 'Third Auntie' shades. Hiak.
*****
Sense that I'm sounding better?
Pretty much thanks to two dear chums, whom I spoke with today. Chums whom I always call whenever I need someone to tell me it's ok to think like I do.
Chums who will give me the encouragement I'm looking for.
Chums who think alike, who don't give a fuck for the corporate world.
Chums who would actually tell me, "It's ok to quit and do what you've always wanted to do. If it makes you happier."
Chums I look up to, and always will.
So. By the end of today, I have kinda made up a large part of my mind.
If I don't get to Portland, I'll still quit my job, and be a part-time vet assistant and/or a part-time preschool teacher.
Maybe take part-time courses on preschooling and vet nursing.
Probably get back to my private tuition stints.
I'll be part-time anything, but a full-time corporate jailbird.
*****
Was on Yahoo! Messenger (which I really hate, by the way) with my best friend Lyn.
Lyn: Hubby says stop pretending... always say work late but actually having affair.
Me: Siao ah. I can openly have affair lor.
Haha.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
A Thin Line
Current mood: Just awful. Indescribably awful.
So much so that I almost broke down at my desk.
Worklife is getting so terrible for me, I almost had an impetus to throw in the towel.
Just like that.
Just hand in the letter and walk out of the office.
One sister gone, another stuck in a meeting, I'm out here sitting at the cafe writing again. I so wish I could just sit here for the rest of the day.
Time to reevaluate life.
I'm not becoming a nice person at work, and it's killing me.
Perhaps it's time to leave a life which serves no purpose. Perhaps it's time to do what I've always wanted to do.
Which is what?
Today's just one of them days you feel no one would really care if you just disappeared from the face of this earth.
Good riddance, even.
*****
"U take care. I am always there for you."
A sweet message that I would've normally replied with a smile, but I left ignored.
I couldn't reply.
It came from an old friend.
A friend who gave up on me more than six years ago because he realized I was so much in love with another man and I could never like him the same way.
A friend who returned to his then-girlfriend and eventually made her his wife.
A once good friend whom I met up last night after a long, long while. A good friend who got visibly upset when he learnt what had happened.
"If I knew this was going to happen, things would have been different for me."
A bold revelation that did nothing good for both me and him. I wish he hadn't said that.
I would be terribly upset if I knew my husband said that to an old flame.
"Why?"
Things change. People change.
I have learnt to use that reasoning. A reasoning that doesn't pacify most people but is accepted anyway. A reasoning that covers all other reasons.
There's nothing I can do about it, but to learn to change myself. I have bigger things to worry. Like my life.
"Doesn't he realize how lucky he is..."
No, he wasn't lucky to have anything.
People don't live on luck alone.
People live on challenges. People don't care for what they have; they yearn for what they don't have.
That's how the 'me' world operates now.
*****
I can feel this thin line inside my head, holding up my mind.
And I can feel my mind expanding and a growing pressure against this line. I can feel the line breaking up.
I wonder how long more this line will hold up.
The thin line that separates sanity from the other side.
So much so that I almost broke down at my desk.
Worklife is getting so terrible for me, I almost had an impetus to throw in the towel.
Just like that.
Just hand in the letter and walk out of the office.
One sister gone, another stuck in a meeting, I'm out here sitting at the cafe writing again. I so wish I could just sit here for the rest of the day.
Time to reevaluate life.
I'm not becoming a nice person at work, and it's killing me.
Perhaps it's time to leave a life which serves no purpose. Perhaps it's time to do what I've always wanted to do.
Which is what?
Today's just one of them days you feel no one would really care if you just disappeared from the face of this earth.
Good riddance, even.
*****
"U take care. I am always there for you."
A sweet message that I would've normally replied with a smile, but I left ignored.
I couldn't reply.
It came from an old friend.
A friend who gave up on me more than six years ago because he realized I was so much in love with another man and I could never like him the same way.
A friend who returned to his then-girlfriend and eventually made her his wife.
A once good friend whom I met up last night after a long, long while. A good friend who got visibly upset when he learnt what had happened.
"If I knew this was going to happen, things would have been different for me."
A bold revelation that did nothing good for both me and him. I wish he hadn't said that.
I would be terribly upset if I knew my husband said that to an old flame.
"Why?"
Things change. People change.
I have learnt to use that reasoning. A reasoning that doesn't pacify most people but is accepted anyway. A reasoning that covers all other reasons.
There's nothing I can do about it, but to learn to change myself. I have bigger things to worry. Like my life.
"Doesn't he realize how lucky he is..."
No, he wasn't lucky to have anything.
People don't live on luck alone.
People live on challenges. People don't care for what they have; they yearn for what they don't have.
That's how the 'me' world operates now.
*****
I can feel this thin line inside my head, holding up my mind.
And I can feel my mind expanding and a growing pressure against this line. I can feel the line breaking up.
I wonder how long more this line will hold up.
The thin line that separates sanity from the other side.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Early Bird
Second day in a row, I'm an early bird.
No biggie. It always happens after I come back from Portland.
Give me another week... no, in fact, just a couple more days, and I'll be back to my lazy, I-don't-wanna-get-out-of-bed self. Hur.
At least, I got some sweet reward this morning for coming in to work early.
I felt the drizzle just as I was walking toward the building. Ah... escaped the impending rain.
=)
No worm for this early bird, though.
In fact, if nothing else keeps her awake, this early bird is likely to become the worm herself.
Ha.
No biggie. It always happens after I come back from Portland.
Give me another week... no, in fact, just a couple more days, and I'll be back to my lazy, I-don't-wanna-get-out-of-bed self. Hur.
At least, I got some sweet reward this morning for coming in to work early.
I felt the drizzle just as I was walking toward the building. Ah... escaped the impending rain.
=)
No worm for this early bird, though.
In fact, if nothing else keeps her awake, this early bird is likely to become the worm herself.
Ha.
Mean means Nice
The traffic folks seem to have taken an immense liking to photography these days.
My, my. So often, you can see them taking patrol breaks, snapping pictures off bus-stops, atop overhead pedestrian bridges, next to obscure bushes along roads.
The last one I saw today, he just decided to park his patrol vehicle off the shoulder along the East Coast highway. Got out of the stationary car, walked to the back facing the oncoming traffic, and started snapping away.
Just couldn't wait huh?
The one thing I love coming home to: driving in my Ford baby.
The second? Having Jay croon to me as I cruise along the roads.
Ah, I miss his muffled voice.
When was the last time I was actually nice?
I can't remember, and I kinda miss that.
Was I even ever nice? Maybe I was just less mean. Ha.
It's funny how you seem to know someone, but you don't actually.
We could've been friends, but...
I smell Piper everywhere, but I don't see her.
Her yeasty scent permeates the entire room, while she's hiding away underneath my bed.
Come out, Piper. Let's go, baby!
Mommy wants to hug you to sleep tonight.
My, my. So often, you can see them taking patrol breaks, snapping pictures off bus-stops, atop overhead pedestrian bridges, next to obscure bushes along roads.
The last one I saw today, he just decided to park his patrol vehicle off the shoulder along the East Coast highway. Got out of the stationary car, walked to the back facing the oncoming traffic, and started snapping away.
Just couldn't wait huh?
The one thing I love coming home to: driving in my Ford baby.
The second? Having Jay croon to me as I cruise along the roads.
Ah, I miss his muffled voice.
When was the last time I was actually nice?
I can't remember, and I kinda miss that.
Was I even ever nice? Maybe I was just less mean. Ha.
It's funny how you seem to know someone, but you don't actually.
We could've been friends, but...
I smell Piper everywhere, but I don't see her.
Her yeasty scent permeates the entire room, while she's hiding away underneath my bed.
Come out, Piper. Let's go, baby!
Mommy wants to hug you to sleep tonight.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Lagging
I have been perspiring non-stop since I've been back.
After a shower. During my sleep. Lying on the bed, reading. Unpacking. Whatever.
I'm just so glad, after a week of being wrapped up in layer after layer, I could jump back into my tank-and skirt combi and my Birkies.
And I've been stuck in only one mood since I've been back.
Stoned.
It's either the jetlag. Or, it's some mild depression again.
It could be both, actually.
I slept almost the entire day. I slept, woke up with a headache, continued sleeping, woke up again with the headache, and the cycle repeated till I woke up with no more headache.
Now I'm like an owl. Eyes wide open.
In a span of one week, I've watched 'Elizabethtown' five freakin' times.
And finally, I know the ending.
A very mushy and predictable one. The kind that makes you go, "Huh?!?! How the hell can this be?".
I kinda regretted watching it over again. Nah, I didn't watch it over again. I fast-forwarded again.
I opened the mailbox last night to find it filled to the brim. And I wondered - again - why no one in the family attends to the mailbox whenever I'm out of town.
One letter came from the traffic folks, and said my appeal had been approved and my offence waived.
I should've been happy, but I was more like, "What the hell? Which offence are you talking about now?!"
Yeah, I've chalked up so many offences in the past few months, I really don't remember what I'm being pardoned for now.
Now that I'm back home and unpacking my luggage, I'm wondering why the hell I bought so many clothes for the little man.
There are like five tiny shorts and seven tiny stripey polo-shirts. And he goes out like once or twice a week - if he's lucky.
What was I thinking?
I am still feeling a little out of sorts.
Things I thought have stopped depressing me, have once again started to.
Like the gates at the arrival hall. The shoes in my bag. The watch on my wrist. The 'bookmark' in my book.
It's just a cycle, I keep telling myself.
It'll pass over soon, and I'll get over it then.
*****
I'm reading a book titled "Name All The Animals" - a memoir that talks about the loss of a loved one.
I was particularly captured by Chapter 24, when it started off like this:
I do not know what possessed the Sisters of Mercy to open a school for girls. Service to the poor, not education, was their intended vocation. It was clear that, while education may have been their profession, service was their passion. The nuns were always piling us into vans, Sister Aquinas at the wheel, and taking us to shelters and soup kitchens and prisons. Morning announcements were peppered with pleas for volunteers. I made up cots in homeless shelters, talked to inmates in the county jail, read the Catechism to elderly women in nursing homes, and sang songs with schizophrenics at the state hospital, all before the age of sixteen. In the dimly lit basement hall of Saints Peter and Paul's Soup Kitchen, in the back alleys behind the bus station, in the urine-scented wards of the state mental hospital, I saw, firsthand, that it was possible to lose everything and still go on.
What a powerful statement it was, the last one.
I took it as a message to me.
*****
I was amused when I caught Piper sleeping in my bag again last night.
Was she trying to say, "Mommy, don't go again" or "Mommy, don't forget me again"?
Haha.
After a shower. During my sleep. Lying on the bed, reading. Unpacking. Whatever.
I'm just so glad, after a week of being wrapped up in layer after layer, I could jump back into my tank-and skirt combi and my Birkies.
And I've been stuck in only one mood since I've been back.
Stoned.
It's either the jetlag. Or, it's some mild depression again.
It could be both, actually.
I slept almost the entire day. I slept, woke up with a headache, continued sleeping, woke up again with the headache, and the cycle repeated till I woke up with no more headache.
Now I'm like an owl. Eyes wide open.
In a span of one week, I've watched 'Elizabethtown' five freakin' times.
And finally, I know the ending.
A very mushy and predictable one. The kind that makes you go, "Huh?!?! How the hell can this be?".
I kinda regretted watching it over again. Nah, I didn't watch it over again. I fast-forwarded again.
I opened the mailbox last night to find it filled to the brim. And I wondered - again - why no one in the family attends to the mailbox whenever I'm out of town.
One letter came from the traffic folks, and said my appeal had been approved and my offence waived.
I should've been happy, but I was more like, "What the hell? Which offence are you talking about now?!"
Yeah, I've chalked up so many offences in the past few months, I really don't remember what I'm being pardoned for now.
Now that I'm back home and unpacking my luggage, I'm wondering why the hell I bought so many clothes for the little man.
There are like five tiny shorts and seven tiny stripey polo-shirts. And he goes out like once or twice a week - if he's lucky.
What was I thinking?
I am still feeling a little out of sorts.
Things I thought have stopped depressing me, have once again started to.
Like the gates at the arrival hall. The shoes in my bag. The watch on my wrist. The 'bookmark' in my book.
It's just a cycle, I keep telling myself.
It'll pass over soon, and I'll get over it then.
*****
I'm reading a book titled "Name All The Animals" - a memoir that talks about the loss of a loved one.
I was particularly captured by Chapter 24, when it started off like this:
I do not know what possessed the Sisters of Mercy to open a school for girls. Service to the poor, not education, was their intended vocation. It was clear that, while education may have been their profession, service was their passion. The nuns were always piling us into vans, Sister Aquinas at the wheel, and taking us to shelters and soup kitchens and prisons. Morning announcements were peppered with pleas for volunteers. I made up cots in homeless shelters, talked to inmates in the county jail, read the Catechism to elderly women in nursing homes, and sang songs with schizophrenics at the state hospital, all before the age of sixteen. In the dimly lit basement hall of Saints Peter and Paul's Soup Kitchen, in the back alleys behind the bus station, in the urine-scented wards of the state mental hospital, I saw, firsthand, that it was possible to lose everything and still go on.
What a powerful statement it was, the last one.
I took it as a message to me.
*****
I was amused when I caught Piper sleeping in my bag again last night.
Was she trying to say, "Mommy, don't go again" or "Mommy, don't forget me again"?
Haha.
Spoilt Record
I just can't get this song outta my head, after catching it on 'Shopgirl'.
Sigh.
It's really... er... catchy, though. Lovely, too.
*****
Sigh.
It's really... er... catchy, though. Lovely, too.
*****
I Only Want To Be With You
Dusty Springfield
I don't know what it is
That makes me love you so
I only know I never wanna let you go
'Cos you started something
Oh, can't you see
That ever since we met
You've had a hold on me
It happens to be true
I only want to be with you
It doesn't matter where you go or what you do
I wanna spend each moment of the day with you
Oh, look what has happened with just one kiss
I never knew that I could be in love like this
It's crazy but it's true
I only want to be with you
You stopped and smiled at me
Asked if I'd care to dance
I fell into your open arms
And I didn't stand a chance
Now, listen, honey
I just wanna be beside you everywhere
As long as we're together, honey
I don't care
'Cos you started something
Oh, can't you see
That ever since we met
You've had a hold on me
No matter what you do
I only want to be with you
Dusty Springfield
I don't know what it is
That makes me love you so
I only know I never wanna let you go
'Cos you started something
Oh, can't you see
That ever since we met
You've had a hold on me
It happens to be true
I only want to be with you
It doesn't matter where you go or what you do
I wanna spend each moment of the day with you
Oh, look what has happened with just one kiss
I never knew that I could be in love like this
It's crazy but it's true
I only want to be with you
You stopped and smiled at me
Asked if I'd care to dance
I fell into your open arms
And I didn't stand a chance
Now, listen, honey
I just wanna be beside you everywhere
As long as we're together, honey
I don't care
'Cos you started something
Oh, can't you see
That ever since we met
You've had a hold on me
No matter what you do
I only want to be with you
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Home Run
I can't decide if I'm beginning to love the weather here, or not.
The wind chill, it gets to my bones. Much as I have been trying to moisturize every exposed part of my body, I still get rash, cracks, flakes, tightness, and a running red nose. My eyes turn blood-shot.
Not quite a pretty sight, I suppose.
Still, I love standing out in the cold. Walking, preferably.
Something about it, being out in the cold, makes me feel a different person. It feels so surreal, I feel like it's not just my physical being that's been transported to somewhere I am not supposed to be.
It's like... my entire mind and soul has suddenly found some new freedom, lost and wandering, looking for a place to belong to.
Maybe it's the numbness.
The numbness of the skin that numbs the mind.
Maybe it's the abnormality of my surrounding that makes me feel far, far away from home. Far, far away from my woes.
Maybe it's not such a bad idea to move here.
Maybe with everything around me being cold, warmness to the heart might feel more real.
Maybe when I'm alone, I can learn to cope better with loneliness.
Maybe when I plant myself somewhere new, cold and faraway, I might find a new meaning to this life.
Maybe the emptiness in every single cell and vein in me can be filled with other bigger things in life.
Maybe going to the waterfalls often enough can make me happy.
Maybe this world is just made up of nothing but ironies.
I might be a little too old to say this now, but I hate being an adult.
I am about twenty-four hours away from home.
I am looking forward to seeing my baby girls again. I'm looking forward to seeing my best girlfriend. I am looking forward to dress up my little man in the heaps and piles of new clothes I've bought for him. What the big man missed out on, the little man is gaining advantage of it.
I am not quite looking forward to making an exit plan. An exit from some stage of my life I'm still stuck in.
I am getting a little weary. I don't feel right anymore.
The stories of my life perhaps need my own crafting. I should be the script-writer, the director, the producer, the casting director, the actor, the storyteller, all rolled into one.
As all storybook writers learn and know, a perfect story is crafted with three simple basic elements: a beginning, a plot, and most importantly, an ending.
It sounds easy, but it isn't.
I once made a draft of what could've been the most beautiful story of my life. I fell headlong into the plot. The characters in my story didn't eventually turn out to be the way I initially thought them to be.
The plot turned haywire. A seemingly beautiful story gone all wrong and awry. And worse of all, there is no ending.
I lost control of my own story. Someone else had directed my life story instead, leaving me with no happiness but sadness instead.
This wouldn't have been a box-office hit, an Oscar-winning movie. I wouldn't even take a second look at this if I were a book publisher.
With a bad plot to a beautiful beginning, I don't suppose I can salvage the story with a nice ending.
The investors to my movie have pulled out their money. A nice ending seems implausible.
I have to regain self-credibility as a storyteller.
I'll have to dump this story and start a new one.
Close the chapter, keep it in my box of treasures, never to be re-opened, till the day it goes with me into my grave.
My creative juices are still running low.
I need new inspiration for a new story in my life.
Maybe for that, I need a new environment altogether.
Suddenly, life seems to promise something interesting again.
Research is always the most fun process in storytelling.
Got to go. Pack my bags.
Wish me luck in my new pursuit of a new story to tell.
The wind chill, it gets to my bones. Much as I have been trying to moisturize every exposed part of my body, I still get rash, cracks, flakes, tightness, and a running red nose. My eyes turn blood-shot.
Not quite a pretty sight, I suppose.
Still, I love standing out in the cold. Walking, preferably.
Something about it, being out in the cold, makes me feel a different person. It feels so surreal, I feel like it's not just my physical being that's been transported to somewhere I am not supposed to be.
It's like... my entire mind and soul has suddenly found some new freedom, lost and wandering, looking for a place to belong to.
Maybe it's the numbness.
The numbness of the skin that numbs the mind.
Maybe it's the abnormality of my surrounding that makes me feel far, far away from home. Far, far away from my woes.
Maybe it's not such a bad idea to move here.
Maybe with everything around me being cold, warmness to the heart might feel more real.
Maybe when I'm alone, I can learn to cope better with loneliness.
Maybe when I plant myself somewhere new, cold and faraway, I might find a new meaning to this life.
Maybe the emptiness in every single cell and vein in me can be filled with other bigger things in life.
Maybe going to the waterfalls often enough can make me happy.
Maybe this world is just made up of nothing but ironies.
I might be a little too old to say this now, but I hate being an adult.
I am about twenty-four hours away from home.
I am looking forward to seeing my baby girls again. I'm looking forward to seeing my best girlfriend. I am looking forward to dress up my little man in the heaps and piles of new clothes I've bought for him. What the big man missed out on, the little man is gaining advantage of it.
I am not quite looking forward to making an exit plan. An exit from some stage of my life I'm still stuck in.
I am getting a little weary. I don't feel right anymore.
The stories of my life perhaps need my own crafting. I should be the script-writer, the director, the producer, the casting director, the actor, the storyteller, all rolled into one.
As all storybook writers learn and know, a perfect story is crafted with three simple basic elements: a beginning, a plot, and most importantly, an ending.
It sounds easy, but it isn't.
I once made a draft of what could've been the most beautiful story of my life. I fell headlong into the plot. The characters in my story didn't eventually turn out to be the way I initially thought them to be.
The plot turned haywire. A seemingly beautiful story gone all wrong and awry. And worse of all, there is no ending.
I lost control of my own story. Someone else had directed my life story instead, leaving me with no happiness but sadness instead.
This wouldn't have been a box-office hit, an Oscar-winning movie. I wouldn't even take a second look at this if I were a book publisher.
With a bad plot to a beautiful beginning, I don't suppose I can salvage the story with a nice ending.
The investors to my movie have pulled out their money. A nice ending seems implausible.
I have to regain self-credibility as a storyteller.
I'll have to dump this story and start a new one.
Close the chapter, keep it in my box of treasures, never to be re-opened, till the day it goes with me into my grave.
My creative juices are still running low.
I need new inspiration for a new story in my life.
Maybe for that, I need a new environment altogether.
Suddenly, life seems to promise something interesting again.
Research is always the most fun process in storytelling.
Got to go. Pack my bags.
Wish me luck in my new pursuit of a new story to tell.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Gao Zai
Folks I meet here tell me, one by one, that I'm looking good. That my hair looks gorgeous.
Is it really? Am I really?
Sometimes, one tends to see only the worst side of oneself, and becomes incognizant of the beauty he/she radiates.
Well, I hope that's the case for myself.
Everybody loves my new vest. So much so that someone wanted to take a picture of it, so I could send it to him.
My 'gao zai', as I affectionately term it.
My best buy in HK - cost me less than twenty Singapore dollars. Lambswool, some more.
A lunch meeting later in the day.
Ah, the fear is setting in.
Is it really? Am I really?
Sometimes, one tends to see only the worst side of oneself, and becomes incognizant of the beauty he/she radiates.
Well, I hope that's the case for myself.
Everybody loves my new vest. So much so that someone wanted to take a picture of it, so I could send it to him.
My 'gao zai', as I affectionately term it.
My best buy in HK - cost me less than twenty Singapore dollars. Lambswool, some more.
A lunch meeting later in the day.
Ah, the fear is setting in.
I Love You, Too
Ok. Story-telling time.
What better way is there to start a freezing morning than telling some silly jokes that tickle you and warm you up?
Get ready, folks.
*****
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God, she asked "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
(You'll love this!!!)
God replied: "I didn't recognize you."
*****
A primary school teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for Primary 1. My sister is in Primary 3 and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in Primary 3 too!"
The teacher took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the Primary 1, and behave.
The teacher agreed. Harry was brought in. The conditions were explained, and Harry agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36"
And so it went with every question the principal thought a Primary 1 student should know. The principal looked at the teacher and told her, "I think Harry can go to Primary 3."
The teacher said to the principal, "May I ask him some tougher questions?"
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two ?"
Harry: "Legs."
Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
(The principal wondered, "Why does she ask such a question?!")
Harry: "Pockets."
Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
Teacher: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, and it is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"
(The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer...)
Harry: "Coconut."
Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?"
(The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer...)
Harry: "Shake hands."
Teacher: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?"
Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Who am I??"
Harry: "A Tent. "
Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I??" (Principal was looking restless and a bit tensed.)
Harry: "A Wedding Ring."
Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, I feel good. What am I??"
Harry: "A Nose."
Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I??"
Harry: "An Arrow."
Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put this ass in Primary 6! I got the last 10 questions all wrong myself."
****
(Ok, bear with me. One more to go.)
A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.
If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey, I love you too."
*****
(Ok, I'm on a roll. Last one, I promise.)
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the restroom. Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."
The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot . Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."
The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"
One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our son. What about your son?"
The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."
The three friends shifted uncomfortably.
"Hmmmm, what a shame," one replied.
The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."
*****
Funny?
Got laugh?
C'mon, admit it.
What better way is there to start a freezing morning than telling some silly jokes that tickle you and warm you up?
Get ready, folks.
*****
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God, she asked "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
(You'll love this!!!)
God replied: "I didn't recognize you."
*****
A primary school teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for Primary 1. My sister is in Primary 3 and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in Primary 3 too!"
The teacher took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the Primary 1, and behave.
The teacher agreed. Harry was brought in. The conditions were explained, and Harry agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36"
And so it went with every question the principal thought a Primary 1 student should know. The principal looked at the teacher and told her, "I think Harry can go to Primary 3."
The teacher said to the principal, "May I ask him some tougher questions?"
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two ?"
Harry: "Legs."
Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
(The principal wondered, "Why does she ask such a question?!")
Harry: "Pockets."
Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
Teacher: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, and it is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"
(The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer...)
Harry: "Coconut."
Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?"
(The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer...)
Harry: "Shake hands."
Teacher: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?"
Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Who am I??"
Harry: "A Tent. "
Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I??" (Principal was looking restless and a bit tensed.)
Harry: "A Wedding Ring."
Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, I feel good. What am I??"
Harry: "A Nose."
Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I??"
Harry: "An Arrow."
Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put this ass in Primary 6! I got the last 10 questions all wrong myself."
****
(Ok, bear with me. One more to go.)
A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.
If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey, I love you too."
*****
(Ok, I'm on a roll. Last one, I promise.)
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the restroom. Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."
The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot . Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."
The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"
One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our son. What about your son?"
The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."
The three friends shifted uncomfortably.
"Hmmmm, what a shame," one replied.
The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."
*****
Funny?
Got laugh?
C'mon, admit it.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Storyteller
Morning, morning, good morning.
I'm sitting at Coffee People again, but earlier this morning. All because the meetings start earlier at eight.
After Day One, I am already getting sick of these meetings. Don't these people know how to keep a roomful of jet-lagged folks awake as they 'present'?
Gawd.
Tell a story.
That, was the most important thing I learnt from my training session in HK last week.
Whenever you need to make a point, tell a story.
One, people stay awake and listen because everybody loves a good story.
Two, people get your point when you tell a story because they feel personally connected to 'real-life' situations.
Three, people remember your stories (if they are good, that is) and so they remember the point you were trying to make.
If there's anything I need to learn right now, to better myself, that is to: tell a gawddamn good story.
That's nothing new to me, actually. Telling stories.
I always like telling stories, though they are pretty much crappy and make no point. Then again, you don't need to make any point when you're just sitting around, loafing with buddies.
And, I've always wanted to be a super-cool Grandmom in the future. Telling lots of interesting life stories to my super-awed grandkids.
See, for that, I know the importance of story-telling, and being able to absorb everything I learn from simple life experiences, from daily interactions with folks, from pure observation of the world around you. Then being able to craft a beautiful tale out of my not-so-grand existence in life.
Like I always tell myself: if I ain't got a story to tell, I ain't living a life.
I've always thought I have a couple of missions in life.
One, I am to love, and to make someone feel loved and so be the best person he can be on this earth.
Two, I am to love dogs.
Three, I am to make people around me happy. Even if it means having to sacrifice my time when friends need it. Even if it means I have to 'uglify' myself, be a clown and make friends laugh. Even if it means I have to lift the little one off the ground and spin him round and round in the air, like ten times in a row.
The things that come out of my mouth, they don't seem right for a girl. I'll give you an example tomorrow - an illustrated one.
Friends tell me, "Aiyo, can you speak or act more like a girl?" But still, I make them laugh - before they would tell me off.
Life without comedy is a sad, sad one.
Even if I have to dig my own sorrowful life and make a joke out of it.
Now, I just have to learn to make use of my story-telling skills, and make a living out of it.
Doesn't sound that bad, does it?
*****
It's Valentine's here in the US. And the day's almost over back home in Singapore.
Not a biggie.
Without fail, I have always been spending every Valentine's in Portland. That is sucky, but I'm already used to it.
I know where you are, and you're not home.
I wish I could send you a message over the phone, but it's probably the Big Guy's doing that my crappy phone is not working at all here in Portland. Forever 'searching' for the bledy network.
Still, if you could read my heart from wherever you are, you'll feel my message for you.
Happy Valentine's.
To everyone who has a precious date tonight, hold on tight and never let go.
I'm sitting at Coffee People again, but earlier this morning. All because the meetings start earlier at eight.
After Day One, I am already getting sick of these meetings. Don't these people know how to keep a roomful of jet-lagged folks awake as they 'present'?
Gawd.
Tell a story.
That, was the most important thing I learnt from my training session in HK last week.
Whenever you need to make a point, tell a story.
One, people stay awake and listen because everybody loves a good story.
Two, people get your point when you tell a story because they feel personally connected to 'real-life' situations.
Three, people remember your stories (if they are good, that is) and so they remember the point you were trying to make.
If there's anything I need to learn right now, to better myself, that is to: tell a gawddamn good story.
That's nothing new to me, actually. Telling stories.
I always like telling stories, though they are pretty much crappy and make no point. Then again, you don't need to make any point when you're just sitting around, loafing with buddies.
And, I've always wanted to be a super-cool Grandmom in the future. Telling lots of interesting life stories to my super-awed grandkids.
See, for that, I know the importance of story-telling, and being able to absorb everything I learn from simple life experiences, from daily interactions with folks, from pure observation of the world around you. Then being able to craft a beautiful tale out of my not-so-grand existence in life.
Like I always tell myself: if I ain't got a story to tell, I ain't living a life.
I've always thought I have a couple of missions in life.
One, I am to love, and to make someone feel loved and so be the best person he can be on this earth.
Two, I am to love dogs.
Three, I am to make people around me happy. Even if it means having to sacrifice my time when friends need it. Even if it means I have to 'uglify' myself, be a clown and make friends laugh. Even if it means I have to lift the little one off the ground and spin him round and round in the air, like ten times in a row.
The things that come out of my mouth, they don't seem right for a girl. I'll give you an example tomorrow - an illustrated one.
Friends tell me, "Aiyo, can you speak or act more like a girl?" But still, I make them laugh - before they would tell me off.
Life without comedy is a sad, sad one.
Even if I have to dig my own sorrowful life and make a joke out of it.
Now, I just have to learn to make use of my story-telling skills, and make a living out of it.
Doesn't sound that bad, does it?
*****
It's Valentine's here in the US. And the day's almost over back home in Singapore.
Not a biggie.
Without fail, I have always been spending every Valentine's in Portland. That is sucky, but I'm already used to it.
I know where you are, and you're not home.
I wish I could send you a message over the phone, but it's probably the Big Guy's doing that my crappy phone is not working at all here in Portland. Forever 'searching' for the bledy network.
Still, if you could read my heart from wherever you are, you'll feel my message for you.
Happy Valentine's.
To everyone who has a precious date tonight, hold on tight and never let go.
Monday, February 13, 2006
Cowgirl
Monday morning. Six-thirty in the a.m..
Sitting here on the big couch at Coffee People, sipping on my skinny latte. There's no one else at this gawddamn early hour in the cafe, and the Coffee People guys are playing all these rock-alternative songs to entertain me.
I wish I could just sit here whole morning, and not have to go to work.
I was knocked out last night.
The 18-hour-or-so flight can be summed up in one word: terrible. And I'm not just talking about the food this time.
New as the fleet may be - the new A330s - the seats are horribly uncomfortable. And I'm not the only one with a possibly weird body-construct; all my other colleagues are complaining the same.
I watched some movies with some success, others not quite so.
For instance, I watched 'Elizabethtown' twice. Oh, no - thrice.
The first time, I had to stop because I was arriving at Narita. The second time I tried when I got up the plane again, I thought I would start from the beginning because Orlando Bloom was quite worth the time.
I fell asleep before I could finish the movie - just very near the end, I suppose.
I woke up, got pissed I had missed out the very last bit of the story, and so proceeded to restart the movie. I hit the 'fast-forward' button, waiting to resume where I fell asleep.
And then... I fell asleep again while waiting for the fast-forward.
Woke up, got pissed I had fast-forwarded till the end, restarted the movie again, hit the fast-forward button once more.
And then, I fell asleep once more as the fast-forward ran till the end.
URGH!
Oh, so that makes it FOUR bledy times I've 'watched' Elizabethtown - but I would never know the ending.
We reached Portland before seven Sunday morning, reached the hotel about an hour later, and found out rooms weren't ready till about three in the afternoon.
It got me so pissed.
We had no choice but to spend the rest of our day out. It wasn't much of a big regret, though.
We met up with an ex-colleague who is now working in the headquarters. And she brought us to places I'd never seen before - despite the numerous trips I've made here.
We were about to ask her to change the sight-seeing plans and bring us straight to the outlet malls, when I found out she was intending to bring us to the falls.
Waterfalls.
I love waterfalls. I just feel exhileration everytime I see the drop gushing down, hitting the pool below with gusto.
I picked up my camera immediately and said, "Let's hit the falls."
I was living on the edge, about to leap into the falls. Not.
Hobbit-sighting at the woods.
My silly colleague thought I would blend in nicely with the woods, and forced this shot on me. Idiot.
Spotted Mount St. Helens on the way back toward town. Beautiful on a clear day.
It's funny how I still think of someone whenever I see nature of such beautiful force right in front of my eyes.
If I could, I wish I could've shared all these beautiful things in life with you.
It was a good thing there wasn't anything much at the outlet malls.
Probably there was, but I was exerting an awful lot of self-control.
Best buy, though?
A pair of cowboy boots. And I mean, cowboy boots.
All for only twenty bucks.
What a kick.
Trying on those boots in the store, I realize why cowboys walk the way they do.
But for twenty bucks, I don't really care.
Sitting here on the big couch at Coffee People, sipping on my skinny latte. There's no one else at this gawddamn early hour in the cafe, and the Coffee People guys are playing all these rock-alternative songs to entertain me.
I wish I could just sit here whole morning, and not have to go to work.
I was knocked out last night.
The 18-hour-or-so flight can be summed up in one word: terrible. And I'm not just talking about the food this time.
New as the fleet may be - the new A330s - the seats are horribly uncomfortable. And I'm not the only one with a possibly weird body-construct; all my other colleagues are complaining the same.
I watched some movies with some success, others not quite so.
For instance, I watched 'Elizabethtown' twice. Oh, no - thrice.
The first time, I had to stop because I was arriving at Narita. The second time I tried when I got up the plane again, I thought I would start from the beginning because Orlando Bloom was quite worth the time.
I fell asleep before I could finish the movie - just very near the end, I suppose.
I woke up, got pissed I had missed out the very last bit of the story, and so proceeded to restart the movie. I hit the 'fast-forward' button, waiting to resume where I fell asleep.
And then... I fell asleep again while waiting for the fast-forward.
Woke up, got pissed I had fast-forwarded till the end, restarted the movie again, hit the fast-forward button once more.
And then, I fell asleep once more as the fast-forward ran till the end.
URGH!
Oh, so that makes it FOUR bledy times I've 'watched' Elizabethtown - but I would never know the ending.
We reached Portland before seven Sunday morning, reached the hotel about an hour later, and found out rooms weren't ready till about three in the afternoon.
It got me so pissed.
We had no choice but to spend the rest of our day out. It wasn't much of a big regret, though.
We met up with an ex-colleague who is now working in the headquarters. And she brought us to places I'd never seen before - despite the numerous trips I've made here.
We were about to ask her to change the sight-seeing plans and bring us straight to the outlet malls, when I found out she was intending to bring us to the falls.
Waterfalls.
I love waterfalls. I just feel exhileration everytime I see the drop gushing down, hitting the pool below with gusto.
I picked up my camera immediately and said, "Let's hit the falls."
I was living on the edge, about to leap into the falls. Not.
Hobbit-sighting at the woods.
My silly colleague thought I would blend in nicely with the woods, and forced this shot on me. Idiot.
Spotted Mount St. Helens on the way back toward town. Beautiful on a clear day.
It's funny how I still think of someone whenever I see nature of such beautiful force right in front of my eyes.
If I could, I wish I could've shared all these beautiful things in life with you.
It was a good thing there wasn't anything much at the outlet malls.
Probably there was, but I was exerting an awful lot of self-control.
Best buy, though?
A pair of cowboy boots. And I mean, cowboy boots.
All for only twenty bucks.
What a kick.
Trying on those boots in the store, I realize why cowboys walk the way they do.
But for twenty bucks, I don't really care.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Spinning
Back in Singapore since 8 hours ago.
Leaving again in about another 8 hours' time.
The re-packing of the bigger luggage is only half-way done.
This feels a little sickening. A lot of other things do, actually.
*****
We had dinner together tonight, just before his flight and mine later in the wee hours of the morning.
It felt really good he was the first person I saw after days away.
I got homesick. I get homesickness easily these days - even while I'm back home, working on my desk.
And only he knows exactly what kind of homesickness I am talking about. It's the kind that probably only I feel. I don't think most other people feel homesick in this context.
If I had really felt good tonight, I suppose he wouldn't really have known.
I was just stoned out half the time.
I'm not sure, though, if he could tell I had a lot on my mind.
I'm not sure if he could see there were things I wanted to say but just didn't.
Half-fucked.
He had something to celebrate, yet something else that upset him a lot as well.
Either way, I hope my gift came in timely.
I wish I could tell him I totally understand, because I really do.
But I didn't.
I wanted to, but I cannot be sure where and what I stand for in his life now, and if saying intimate things like this would push things over the tip.
The two of us are like a spinning top. Both of us spinning in one direction - nowhere.
Forever confused, forever muddled. Forever spinning in the head.
A part of me still wishes that one day, we'll both keep spinning together and in the other direction - somewhere that we know will lead us to happiness, and to the days when we are grey and dying.
Another part fears any unintended move that might topple us over the tip - and stop spinning altogether.
The rest of me, just keeps questioning the other two parts.
I came to realize, much as I fear it, I am just as messed up, just as confused, just as unwilling as you are.
What you've lost now is your number one love and my number three love (the number two spot belongs to my girls).
I may not have understood. Or, so you may think.
Don't forget. I have once lost my number one love too.
So, I think I understand. And I know how booze becomes your friend when you lose your number one.
Some things, between the two of us, need not be said.
That fact that I remember, I care, I know and I understand.
I wish one day I would have the courage to ask you openly and honestly.
And on that very same day, you would have the same courage to answer me - openly and truthfully.
Let's not hurt each other anymore. After all, we've once been, to each other, the best of friends, and the one that the other loved the most.
One day?
It would come the day I get my headache. And you'd know what I'm talking about. That headache.
You know what I'd wish you would say.
But please. Just say what you really want to say.
*****
Of all the things I've been hearing from friends for months, finally I hear something that's moving my heart in a different direction.
"Tell him. If you are sure he's the one and if you still love him that much, just tell him. Don't fear, don't ever lose him."
Coming from a guy. And from the unlikeliest of my guy-friends. =)
Yes, I know.
The only reason why I'm fearful of letting go, is the fear that I may just let slip out of my own fingers the one that really matters to me most.
Till the day I am convinced I'm wrong, the fear dwells on.
Weather forecast in Portland: cold and dreary.
Ahhh... just befitting my mood now.
Leaving again in about another 8 hours' time.
The re-packing of the bigger luggage is only half-way done.
This feels a little sickening. A lot of other things do, actually.
*****
We had dinner together tonight, just before his flight and mine later in the wee hours of the morning.
It felt really good he was the first person I saw after days away.
I got homesick. I get homesickness easily these days - even while I'm back home, working on my desk.
And only he knows exactly what kind of homesickness I am talking about. It's the kind that probably only I feel. I don't think most other people feel homesick in this context.
If I had really felt good tonight, I suppose he wouldn't really have known.
I was just stoned out half the time.
I'm not sure, though, if he could tell I had a lot on my mind.
I'm not sure if he could see there were things I wanted to say but just didn't.
Half-fucked.
He had something to celebrate, yet something else that upset him a lot as well.
Either way, I hope my gift came in timely.
I wish I could tell him I totally understand, because I really do.
But I didn't.
I wanted to, but I cannot be sure where and what I stand for in his life now, and if saying intimate things like this would push things over the tip.
The two of us are like a spinning top. Both of us spinning in one direction - nowhere.
Forever confused, forever muddled. Forever spinning in the head.
A part of me still wishes that one day, we'll both keep spinning together and in the other direction - somewhere that we know will lead us to happiness, and to the days when we are grey and dying.
Another part fears any unintended move that might topple us over the tip - and stop spinning altogether.
The rest of me, just keeps questioning the other two parts.
I came to realize, much as I fear it, I am just as messed up, just as confused, just as unwilling as you are.
What you've lost now is your number one love and my number three love (the number two spot belongs to my girls).
I may not have understood. Or, so you may think.
Don't forget. I have once lost my number one love too.
So, I think I understand. And I know how booze becomes your friend when you lose your number one.
Some things, between the two of us, need not be said.
That fact that I remember, I care, I know and I understand.
I wish one day I would have the courage to ask you openly and honestly.
And on that very same day, you would have the same courage to answer me - openly and truthfully.
Let's not hurt each other anymore. After all, we've once been, to each other, the best of friends, and the one that the other loved the most.
One day?
It would come the day I get my headache. And you'd know what I'm talking about. That headache.
You know what I'd wish you would say.
But please. Just say what you really want to say.
*****
Of all the things I've been hearing from friends for months, finally I hear something that's moving my heart in a different direction.
"Tell him. If you are sure he's the one and if you still love him that much, just tell him. Don't fear, don't ever lose him."
Coming from a guy. And from the unlikeliest of my guy-friends. =)
Yes, I know.
The only reason why I'm fearful of letting go, is the fear that I may just let slip out of my own fingers the one that really matters to me most.
Till the day I am convinced I'm wrong, the fear dwells on.
Weather forecast in Portland: cold and dreary.
Ahhh... just befitting my mood now.
Awful
Some people are just rude, insensitive... and downright selfish.
No manners.
Why do I even get so upset? To the point I even got an awful dream during my nap?
I'll just do what I think is right for myself.
After all, no one else would know anything about me better than I do.
No manners.
Why do I even get so upset? To the point I even got an awful dream during my nap?
I'll just do what I think is right for myself.
After all, no one else would know anything about me better than I do.
Jack Spade
I'm such a social recluse.
Ok, not really by choice.
I was supposed to meet up with four different friends during this trip. In the end?
I met none.
Either I was too tired, or there was simply not enough time - not with the amount of work I had to catch up on at nights.
Most of all, the mood was just too slackened to think of travelling out beyond Tsim Sha Tsui.
I have only one group shot from this trip.
That's D-tan, Jackie-O, Rugger-G, and Ah-Yeo-Yeo-Yeo.
My buddies from work, who had to endure this trip with me.
We seldom get to travel together - we come from different functions. So, to an extent, I am quite loving this trip.
I checked out many stores over the past few days, and did all my shopping only today.
At least, this way I made sure I didn't end up making impulse buys.
I am now well-stocked for my Portland trip. Very well-stocked.
But the best buy of all... isn't anything for myself.
I just hope this time round, you won't lose it again.
'You'-things, like 'me'-things, aren't exactly easy to find, y'know.
*****
I had a surprise last night, a startling discovery. Almost a rude shock.
All because I was fooling around with Ah-Yeo-Yeo-Yeo's cell phone at the dinner table.
A couple of pictures I saw in his phone unsettled me a little.
Learning about certain things behind those pictures made me even more uneasy.
As if the world isn't small enough. Why do we all have to be born in this tiny little island, where you just somehow can't run away from some people?
It's just a little disturbing to see how, in another totally different way, you and I are connected again.
If it isn't fate, then I don't know what the heck it is.
Ok, not really by choice.
I was supposed to meet up with four different friends during this trip. In the end?
I met none.
Either I was too tired, or there was simply not enough time - not with the amount of work I had to catch up on at nights.
Most of all, the mood was just too slackened to think of travelling out beyond Tsim Sha Tsui.
I have only one group shot from this trip.
That's D-tan, Jackie-O, Rugger-G, and Ah-Yeo-Yeo-Yeo.
My buddies from work, who had to endure this trip with me.
We seldom get to travel together - we come from different functions. So, to an extent, I am quite loving this trip.
I checked out many stores over the past few days, and did all my shopping only today.
At least, this way I made sure I didn't end up making impulse buys.
I am now well-stocked for my Portland trip. Very well-stocked.
But the best buy of all... isn't anything for myself.
I just hope this time round, you won't lose it again.
'You'-things, like 'me'-things, aren't exactly easy to find, y'know.
*****
I had a surprise last night, a startling discovery. Almost a rude shock.
All because I was fooling around with Ah-Yeo-Yeo-Yeo's cell phone at the dinner table.
A couple of pictures I saw in his phone unsettled me a little.
Learning about certain things behind those pictures made me even more uneasy.
As if the world isn't small enough. Why do we all have to be born in this tiny little island, where you just somehow can't run away from some people?
It's just a little disturbing to see how, in another totally different way, you and I are connected again.
If it isn't fate, then I don't know what the heck it is.
Appraisal
Sh*t.
I hope these aren't true.
What those words on yearly performance reviews really mean:
1. Outgoing personality - Always going out of the office
2. Great presentation skills - Able to bullshit
3. Good communication skills - Spends lots of time on phone
4. Work is first priority - Too ugly to get a date
5. Active socially - Drinks a lot
6. Independent worker - Nobody knows what he/she does
7. Quick thinking - Offers plausible excuses
8. Careful thinker - Won't make a decision
9. Uses logic on difficult jobs - Gets someone else to do it
10. Express themselves well - Speaks English
11. Meticulous attention to detail - A nit-picker
12. Has leadership qualities - Is tall or has a louder voice
13. Exceptionally good judgment - Lucky
14. Keen sense of humour - Knows a lot of dirty jokes
15. Career-minded - Backstabber
16. Loyal - Can't get a job elsewhere
17. Plans for promotion/advancement - Buys drinks for all the boys
18. Relaxed attitude - Sleeps at desk
Truth be told, I quite find them all very funny.
They did manage to cheer me a little.
I hope these aren't true.
What those words on yearly performance reviews really mean:
1. Outgoing personality - Always going out of the office
2. Great presentation skills - Able to bullshit
3. Good communication skills - Spends lots of time on phone
4. Work is first priority - Too ugly to get a date
5. Active socially - Drinks a lot
6. Independent worker - Nobody knows what he/she does
7. Quick thinking - Offers plausible excuses
8. Careful thinker - Won't make a decision
9. Uses logic on difficult jobs - Gets someone else to do it
10. Express themselves well - Speaks English
11. Meticulous attention to detail - A nit-picker
12. Has leadership qualities - Is tall or has a louder voice
13. Exceptionally good judgment - Lucky
14. Keen sense of humour - Knows a lot of dirty jokes
15. Career-minded - Backstabber
16. Loyal - Can't get a job elsewhere
17. Plans for promotion/advancement - Buys drinks for all the boys
18. Relaxed attitude - Sleeps at desk
Truth be told, I quite find them all very funny.
They did manage to cheer me a little.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Waiting
Aiyo. I hate working in hotel rooms because, despite the VPN via broadband access, the speed of download is like t-o-r-t-o-i-s-e s-l-o-w.
And I hate it when my patience is being tested.
So I will write some more while I'm waiting.
I like tuning in to StarWorld in hotel rooms - if there is no decent movie channel.
I like watching all the sitcoms and dramas; it's just that back home in Singapore, I'm usually not home early enough to catch them on TV. I think I watch the most TV when I'm away from home.
This is probably the first time I've actually watched two full episodes of 'The O.C.' and I quite like the young things. Ryan, especially.
I think I have some serious issues here. I never used to craze over celebrities. Except maybe Brad Pitt.
Now? My adoration-turned-affection-turned-obsession for J continues. Haha.
And while I'm still at it, I have finally found my key to J. Hur, I just have to see when I make the actual trip to Taipei.
I said I would find him, didn't I?
Siao cha bor.
From a recent episode of f.r.i.e.n.d.s. I just caught on TV:
Rachel is planning a birthday party for her year-old Emma. The usual gang turns up at Joey's apartment (I think she's attempting a relationship with Joey at this point).
She had made a customized order for a birthday cake: a bunny with Emma's face imposed on it.
But instead, she opens up the box to see a birthday cake made in the shape of a penis - with Emma's face on it.
Rachel: (after yelling over the phone to the cake shop and now whining to her chums) But I wanted a nice bunny cake for Emma. A real cake with icing and nuts sprinkled all over it.
Chandler: (in his deadpan self) Er... well, this cake does have nuts too.
Wahahaha. Funny, right?
I am quite upset, actually.
Because of the silly Portland trip, I am going to miss the most happenin' rock concert that's ever going to take place in Asia so far next weekend.
The Bangkok Rock Fest.
I am going to miss Oasis, Placebo and Franz Ferdinand. A rock-solid two-day concert.
I've got an invitation, but I had to turn it down. With much grouch.
So close, yet so far.
Somehow, everything that matters to me now... all seem so close... yet so far.
And I hate it when my patience is being tested.
So I will write some more while I'm waiting.
I like tuning in to StarWorld in hotel rooms - if there is no decent movie channel.
I like watching all the sitcoms and dramas; it's just that back home in Singapore, I'm usually not home early enough to catch them on TV. I think I watch the most TV when I'm away from home.
This is probably the first time I've actually watched two full episodes of 'The O.C.' and I quite like the young things. Ryan, especially.
I think I have some serious issues here. I never used to craze over celebrities. Except maybe Brad Pitt.
Now? My adoration-turned-affection-turned-obsession for J continues. Haha.
And while I'm still at it, I have finally found my key to J. Hur, I just have to see when I make the actual trip to Taipei.
I said I would find him, didn't I?
Siao cha bor.
From a recent episode of f.r.i.e.n.d.s. I just caught on TV:
Rachel is planning a birthday party for her year-old Emma. The usual gang turns up at Joey's apartment (I think she's attempting a relationship with Joey at this point).
She had made a customized order for a birthday cake: a bunny with Emma's face imposed on it.
But instead, she opens up the box to see a birthday cake made in the shape of a penis - with Emma's face on it.
Rachel: (after yelling over the phone to the cake shop and now whining to her chums) But I wanted a nice bunny cake for Emma. A real cake with icing and nuts sprinkled all over it.
Chandler: (in his deadpan self) Er... well, this cake does have nuts too.
Wahahaha. Funny, right?
I am quite upset, actually.
Because of the silly Portland trip, I am going to miss the most happenin' rock concert that's ever going to take place in Asia so far next weekend.
The Bangkok Rock Fest.
I am going to miss Oasis, Placebo and Franz Ferdinand. A rock-solid two-day concert.
I've got an invitation, but I had to turn it down. With much grouch.
So close, yet so far.
Somehow, everything that matters to me now... all seem so close... yet so far.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Oversleeper
I should be so damned.
I should just shoot myself in the head. Or, jump into the waters at the Victoria Harbor here in Tsim Sha Tsui.
All because I woke up grossly late this morning. On the first day of the meeting, where almost all are strangers and visitors from the campus.
I walked into the meeting room almost two hours late.
I've already gotten someone to give me a wake-up call tomorrow, and tonight, I'm not sleeping with the curtains drawn.
The first thing on my mind when I woke this morning: how come none of my dear colleagues called to check on me?
And the second thing: it's grossly late, or never.
I chose the former, for pride's sake.
Nothing to be ashamed of - I worked till 3 in the morning and just couldn't hear the darned alarm three hours later.
The meeting's B-O-R-I-N-G.
Urgh. Two more days to go.
No planned dinner, just a quick cocktail session, and it's room service tonight.
I was supposed to go to the races!
Somehow the phonecall never came, and I didn't want to make the call. I thought I'd just leave the two lovebirds to some fun by themselves.
Walked around a little, ogled at more jackets, took the train to Causeway Bay in search of some stuff (in vain, though), and then decided to retire to my room to get some work done again.
I was getting hungry, and I was craving for congee.
Congee that was available only for late-night room service from 11 onwards - and it was only 9.
I couldn't curb my hunger, and tried my luck at half-past-ten.
No regrets, though. =)
Look at that gigantic bowl of 'kai zhok' with three different kinds of eggs: 'ham dan', 'pei dan', and one fresh raw egg thrown in.
Mmm.
It was good only for the first third of the portion. After that, the saltiness just got to me.
I couldn't finish it in the end. And it's only zhok, for goodness' sake.
Now I remember why I hate HK food.
I have a few jackets on my mind now. I just have to make up my mind now which one (or two) to buy. I'd love to, but I cannot afford all.
And a pair of rubber ballet pumps. Yes, rubber like in rubber boots. Very cool. Perfect for the unpredictable weather in Portland, and nowadays Singapore.
And I think I might have found the perfect gift for someone too. =)
I should just shoot myself in the head. Or, jump into the waters at the Victoria Harbor here in Tsim Sha Tsui.
All because I woke up grossly late this morning. On the first day of the meeting, where almost all are strangers and visitors from the campus.
I walked into the meeting room almost two hours late.
I've already gotten someone to give me a wake-up call tomorrow, and tonight, I'm not sleeping with the curtains drawn.
The first thing on my mind when I woke this morning: how come none of my dear colleagues called to check on me?
And the second thing: it's grossly late, or never.
I chose the former, for pride's sake.
Nothing to be ashamed of - I worked till 3 in the morning and just couldn't hear the darned alarm three hours later.
The meeting's B-O-R-I-N-G.
Urgh. Two more days to go.
No planned dinner, just a quick cocktail session, and it's room service tonight.
I was supposed to go to the races!
Somehow the phonecall never came, and I didn't want to make the call. I thought I'd just leave the two lovebirds to some fun by themselves.
Walked around a little, ogled at more jackets, took the train to Causeway Bay in search of some stuff (in vain, though), and then decided to retire to my room to get some work done again.
I was getting hungry, and I was craving for congee.
Congee that was available only for late-night room service from 11 onwards - and it was only 9.
I couldn't curb my hunger, and tried my luck at half-past-ten.
No regrets, though. =)
Look at that gigantic bowl of 'kai zhok' with three different kinds of eggs: 'ham dan', 'pei dan', and one fresh raw egg thrown in.
Mmm.
It was good only for the first third of the portion. After that, the saltiness just got to me.
I couldn't finish it in the end. And it's only zhok, for goodness' sake.
Now I remember why I hate HK food.
I have a few jackets on my mind now. I just have to make up my mind now which one (or two) to buy. I'd love to, but I cannot afford all.
And a pair of rubber ballet pumps. Yes, rubber like in rubber boots. Very cool. Perfect for the unpredictable weather in Portland, and nowadays Singapore.
And I think I might have found the perfect gift for someone too. =)
Walked the Line
I think I've underestimated the weather condition here in HK.
With the (very) light jackets I've brought along, I think I'll be just right for the day but I am freezing my ass off when the night chill sets in.
No jeans in my luggage. Only my judo pants and a couple of bottoms that don't cover beyond my knees. Die.
Even the bledy room is like a freezer. A huge freezer, though.
I've turned off the air-conditioning, put on a sweater and I'm still shivering.
Can't wait to jump into bed and snuggle under the duvet.
And the very wise me have made a right decision after all.
So many bledy jackets here, and all on sale!
And I'm fearing I'll end up going home with more than one jacket in my luggage.
I'm going to the races tomorrow! I hope.
I have plans lined up for the rest of the trip. Somehow, I seem to have many more friends here this time round.
I think I'm gonna end up socializing more than working during this trip.
*****
I watched the Johnny Cash movie on my way here.
I am so pathetic these days, I get to watch movies only when I travel on business trips.
My movie invitations never come true. Somehow.
I didn't know how good it would turn out to be.
I was just being obsessed with Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon.
Both actors are so impressive, they sang every single note in that movie. I hope one of them wins a Golden Globe or an Oscar.
Johnny Cash (God bless his soul) quoted.
"You miss a lot of opportunities by making mistakes, but that's part of it: knowing that you're not shut out forever, and that there's a goal you still can reach."
"There is no fence to sit on between Heaven and Hell. There is a deep, wide gulf, a chasm, and in that chasm is no place for any man."
Johnny Cash wrote and sang too.
I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line
I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine, I walk the line
As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And happiness I've known proves that it's right
Because you're mine, I walk the line
You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line
I did.
I walked the line. I didn't cross none.
Did you?
With the (very) light jackets I've brought along, I think I'll be just right for the day but I am freezing my ass off when the night chill sets in.
No jeans in my luggage. Only my judo pants and a couple of bottoms that don't cover beyond my knees. Die.
Even the bledy room is like a freezer. A huge freezer, though.
I've turned off the air-conditioning, put on a sweater and I'm still shivering.
Can't wait to jump into bed and snuggle under the duvet.
And the very wise me have made a right decision after all.
So many bledy jackets here, and all on sale!
And I'm fearing I'll end up going home with more than one jacket in my luggage.
I'm going to the races tomorrow! I hope.
I have plans lined up for the rest of the trip. Somehow, I seem to have many more friends here this time round.
I think I'm gonna end up socializing more than working during this trip.
*****
I watched the Johnny Cash movie on my way here.
I am so pathetic these days, I get to watch movies only when I travel on business trips.
My movie invitations never come true. Somehow.
I didn't know how good it would turn out to be.
I was just being obsessed with Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon.
Both actors are so impressive, they sang every single note in that movie. I hope one of them wins a Golden Globe or an Oscar.
Johnny Cash (God bless his soul) quoted.
"You miss a lot of opportunities by making mistakes, but that's part of it: knowing that you're not shut out forever, and that there's a goal you still can reach."
"There is no fence to sit on between Heaven and Hell. There is a deep, wide gulf, a chasm, and in that chasm is no place for any man."
Johnny Cash wrote and sang too.
I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line
I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine, I walk the line
As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And happiness I've known proves that it's right
Because you're mine, I walk the line
You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line
I did.
I walked the line. I didn't cross none.
Did you?
Monday, February 06, 2006
蛇
I received this from AKB over email, and out of curiosity and interest, decided to check it out.
Since it sounded so serious, like a real Chinese feng shui shifu trying to explain his stuff in the English language. Heh.
THE SNAKE
Ancient Chinese wisdom says a Snake in the house is a good omen because it means your family will not starve. This could be taken metaphorically to mean that a Snake could never have a problem with his family starving because he is such a great mediator, making him good at business. Or it could mean that a Snake would be willing to sacrifice his possessions, something the Snake has a lot of, in order to pay for his family’s food. Any way it is interpreted is representative of the Snake’s character and is a measure of the value he puts on his material wealth. The Snake is keen and cunning, quite intelligent and wise.
I think I'm the latter. The sacrificial snake.
And I agree - I always knew I'm the smart one. And sometimes very wily too. Heh.
THE SIGN OF THE SNAKE
The Snake is the intuitive, introspective, refined and collected of the Animal Signs. They are attractive people who take cries with ease and do not become flustered easily. They are graceful people, exciting and dark at the same time.
I kinda like this description. Intuitive. Refined. Collected. Exciting yet dark. Ha.
Contemplative and private, the Snake is not outwardly emotional. He can appear cunning and reticent and works very modestly in the business environment. The Snake will plot and scheme to make certain things turn out exactly as they want them to. They are not great communicators and can become quite possessive when they set their minds on achieving the interest of a partner.
Er... no comment. But a little bit true.
CHARACTERISTICS
Acute, Aware, Cunning, Proud, Vain, Vicious
Wah. So mean. I am not vain, though. Ok... a little bit.
THE FIRE SNAKE 1917 AND 1977
Fire Snakes can be a bit loud, speaking their minds and smothering you with their opinions. This does add a twist to his dynamic and vibrant character, as he is quite the extrovert. These Snakes have a great wisdom. They are intriguing communicators who leave you breathless after a conversation. Fire Snakes can change even the most obstinate mind with their powers of persuasion, convincing you their opinions or ideas are better than yours. This does make them a little self-centered, but you can’t say they aren’t driven for success.
Eh. Say I talk a lot? Not really, though I'm just a little chatty with buddies. Talk cock, actually.
And yes, I am wise. Heh.
HEALTH
Snakes become easily stressed and have to avoid hectic schedules or noisy atmospheres. They do not get a rush from adrenaline, instead, a headache. They need calm and quiet to thrive and succeed. A Snake must have sleep and relaxation to live a long, healthy life.
Oh, yes. I can attest to that stress.
But then, I thrive under stress. I don't work hard till the deadline is impending. This morning's a pretty good example.
AT HOME WITH THE SNAKE
The Snake is very sophisticated and cultured in his choices for home décor. They like muted colors and prefer to have one very expensive chair rather than three reasonable priced ones. The Snake is elegant and graceful and places emphasis on his comfort when deciding what to decorate with. As we know, the Snake must have peace, so you may find relaxation or sounds of nature tapes next to the stereo. Snakes do not deprive themselves of luxuries either, as one of everything never seems to ease his mind. He is materialistic and therefore must have as many of everything, if not more than his friends and family.
Sophisticated. Elegant. Luxury-seeking. Many of everything? Yes, I'm the sort who would buy two or three colors of the same shirt if I like it a lot.
One expensive chair over three reasonably-priced ones? Haha! Yes, I totally agree. So, maybe I am materialistic.
But those silly 'nature' tapes? Urgh! Absolutely not. Give me Placebo anytime.
THE SNAKE AT WORK
Snakes become bored easily and therefore change jobs quite frequently. They are very conscientious and diligent at work. Since they are such relaxed individuals, they can often seem to be slacking off at work when in reality they are at the height of their creativity. They are organized and precise. Snakes can make lightening deadlines and can problem solve quickly. Sometimes, because they like to work alone, they can seem as though they are withholding information or being secretive about company initiatives.
I do become bored easily, but I work for real passion as well. I just find ways to revitalize my passion from time to time.
Then again, I'm crying out loud now to get out of my job, because I think I am really getting way too bored.
I am going to send this statement to my boss: "because they are such relaxed individuals, they can often seem to be slacking off at work when in reality they are at the height of their creativity". Oh, how so very true!
Organized? No.
Work alone? Yes.
Secretive about company initiatives? Bo pian, bounded by contractual terms. Ha.
MONEY AND THE SNAKE
A Snake’s worst nightmare is jumping head first into a financial deal or a shopping spree. The Snake can be successful as long as he avoids extemporaneous spending. Although he is intuitive, the Snake will often dive right into decisions without weighing the consequences, which can cause him financial ruin.
Those stupid shopping sprees. Spendings without weighing consequences.
Damn. I am ruined.
SNAKES MAKE EXCELLENT:
Scientists
Potters
Analysts
Jewelers
Spiritual Leaders
Sociologists
Dieticians
Astrologers
Magicians
Investigators
Painters
What the hell??? I so foul-mouthed, how to be spiritual leader? Investigator maybe. Those undercover kind, can pose as Ah Lian in Geylang to catch those foreign-worker-pimps.
LIKES AND DISLIKES
Color Preference: Red
Nope.
Gems and Stones: Topaz, Jasper, Bloodstone
Huh?
Suitable Gifts: binoculars, Tarot cards, oils and lotions, stamp collection
Simi sai???
Hobbies and Pastimes: Astrology, painting, touring, photography
Oh, photography! Touring - if only I could make it a past-time!
Snakes Dislike: Being interrupted, being mislead personally or professionally, failure
Yes. I hate failure, and I hate being misled. 'Nuff said.
THE SNAKE ON VACATION
Snakes love to vacation. They get a great deal of pleasure out of just being lazy. And they love luxurious things, often spending their money on material desires they probably don’t need. When a Snake goes on vacation, he really goes on vacation. Fancy restaurants, expensive health clubs and spas, anything in which they can fully indulge themselves. Their getaways must be fully equipped to pamper their every want, or the Snake will become stressed.
Haha. This is so true!
That I love to be lazy and nuah. (And someone else I know, too.)
And yes, spending my money on 'luxurious' stuff I don't really need. I think those silly bottles of body cream in my cupboard count here.
FRIENDS AND ENEMIES
Snakes have very few friends because thy are not outwardly emotional or open creatures. The friends they do make generally last a lifetime, even though peers may find it hard to relate to the Snake because he is withdrawn and secretive. Still, Snakes like social functions, in moderation, where they can gossip about the latest scandal or the newest news. If you stab a Snake in the back it is likely you will never be forgiven. In addition, you should prepare yourself for retaliation for the Snake always gets the last word.
Compatible Friends
Best Friends: Oxen and Roosters
Mortal Enemy: Pigs
Ok, I don't really know about this. But it is true I don't open up at first meetings. I don't really make first moves.
I don't gossip; I just bitch.
I don't think I've ever been stabbed. Try me, though. Let's see if I bite you back.
But I sure do hope my buddies will last me a lifetime.
SNAKE PARENTS AND BABIES
Snakes will likely form intimate bonds throughout his lifetime with different partners. With these relationships come children, and it is likely the Snake will have many children and stepchildren throughout his lifetime.
!!! I am finding this very personally upsetting.
Regardless, Snakes are devoted and dedicated parents, willing and able to defend the livelihood and happiness of their children.
I see myself.
Snake parents often use humor to deal with their parents. Because they like peace and quiet, they generally use humor to avoid confrontational situations with their young. In addition, this joy of serenity comes at a price for their children. Snake parents are not known to be the most affectionate or playful parents. They do not like to roll around and get dirty with their children, nor do they enjoy loud situations, and these types of things send a Snake running for a locked bedroom door. Unfortunately for the Snake partner, he is responsible for calming the children back down.
Yes, I am crappy. I like my sense of warped humor.
And I think I will be a crazy mom. I think my kids will be a crazy bunch too.
What's life if you ain't got fun?
THE SNAKE LOVER
Snakes are beautiful people who exhibit quite a sexual appeal. They are sleek and seductive and if they want you, will out a spell on you that won’t let you stop thinking about them. However, Snakes are quite prejudiced when choosing a partner and don’t just choose based on physical qualities. The Snake needs a partner who can appreciate his quirky sense of humor and his wacky way of handling situations, so generally, although quite beautiful and tempting to approach, the Snake does all the pursuing.
Yes, I am beautiful. But I got sexual appeal meh?
I seduce only the intellect, and not the groins. So yes, I am picky. You gotta be smart enough for my wisecracks.
I do have a quirky sense of humor and a wacky way of handling situations. And I'm proud of it.
And see? I told ya I'll be the hunter. =)
MARRIAGE
Because the Snake is so choosy, he can become jealous and obsessive about his partner. They can be a bit stand-offish with their mates, choosing to push away emotions rather than confront their feelings and insecurities. Once betrayed, you can bank on not ever being trusted by the Snake again as much as you can bet he will get even.
... ...
I don't get even. I just get mad.
THE SNAKE LOVE PARTNER
Not everyone can live and be happy with a Snake. It takes a patient soul, someone ready for the long haul, who can calm his nerves and deal with his obsessions with skill. Chinese horoscopes are very specific about which partnerships have the potential to be successful in love and in business. Yet, though destiny can point us in the right direction, we must still make all efforts to maintain loving relationships.
Do I sound like I'm difficult? I don't know, really.
Snake*Dragon
You fit well together…you share flirtatious natures and zesty outlooks.
I should go out and find my 龙哥.
Snake*Sheep
You two make great friends and even better lovers.
Or, maybe my 小棉羊.
Snake*Rooster
Dynamic duo!
Or, maybe I should just go find a cock. Haha!
Snake*Dog
Love at first sight. Go for it!
Sigh... maybe my friends are right. I should just marry a dog.
And finally...
LIBRAN SNAKE
One of the most beautiful breeds of the Snake, Libran Snakes are graceful and kind. They are always being pursued by someone interested in them and fall deeply in love with the right partner.
Stop it!
I already know I am beautiful.
...
I just hope I find the right one.
After all the fun, I am still confused about who I really am. Hmmm.
Since it sounded so serious, like a real Chinese feng shui shifu trying to explain his stuff in the English language. Heh.
THE SNAKE
Ancient Chinese wisdom says a Snake in the house is a good omen because it means your family will not starve. This could be taken metaphorically to mean that a Snake could never have a problem with his family starving because he is such a great mediator, making him good at business. Or it could mean that a Snake would be willing to sacrifice his possessions, something the Snake has a lot of, in order to pay for his family’s food. Any way it is interpreted is representative of the Snake’s character and is a measure of the value he puts on his material wealth. The Snake is keen and cunning, quite intelligent and wise.
I think I'm the latter. The sacrificial snake.
And I agree - I always knew I'm the smart one. And sometimes very wily too. Heh.
THE SIGN OF THE SNAKE
The Snake is the intuitive, introspective, refined and collected of the Animal Signs. They are attractive people who take cries with ease and do not become flustered easily. They are graceful people, exciting and dark at the same time.
I kinda like this description. Intuitive. Refined. Collected. Exciting yet dark. Ha.
Contemplative and private, the Snake is not outwardly emotional. He can appear cunning and reticent and works very modestly in the business environment. The Snake will plot and scheme to make certain things turn out exactly as they want them to. They are not great communicators and can become quite possessive when they set their minds on achieving the interest of a partner.
Er... no comment. But a little bit true.
CHARACTERISTICS
Acute, Aware, Cunning, Proud, Vain, Vicious
Wah. So mean. I am not vain, though. Ok... a little bit.
THE FIRE SNAKE 1917 AND 1977
Fire Snakes can be a bit loud, speaking their minds and smothering you with their opinions. This does add a twist to his dynamic and vibrant character, as he is quite the extrovert. These Snakes have a great wisdom. They are intriguing communicators who leave you breathless after a conversation. Fire Snakes can change even the most obstinate mind with their powers of persuasion, convincing you their opinions or ideas are better than yours. This does make them a little self-centered, but you can’t say they aren’t driven for success.
Eh. Say I talk a lot? Not really, though I'm just a little chatty with buddies. Talk cock, actually.
And yes, I am wise. Heh.
HEALTH
Snakes become easily stressed and have to avoid hectic schedules or noisy atmospheres. They do not get a rush from adrenaline, instead, a headache. They need calm and quiet to thrive and succeed. A Snake must have sleep and relaxation to live a long, healthy life.
Oh, yes. I can attest to that stress.
But then, I thrive under stress. I don't work hard till the deadline is impending. This morning's a pretty good example.
AT HOME WITH THE SNAKE
The Snake is very sophisticated and cultured in his choices for home décor. They like muted colors and prefer to have one very expensive chair rather than three reasonable priced ones. The Snake is elegant and graceful and places emphasis on his comfort when deciding what to decorate with. As we know, the Snake must have peace, so you may find relaxation or sounds of nature tapes next to the stereo. Snakes do not deprive themselves of luxuries either, as one of everything never seems to ease his mind. He is materialistic and therefore must have as many of everything, if not more than his friends and family.
Sophisticated. Elegant. Luxury-seeking. Many of everything? Yes, I'm the sort who would buy two or three colors of the same shirt if I like it a lot.
One expensive chair over three reasonably-priced ones? Haha! Yes, I totally agree. So, maybe I am materialistic.
But those silly 'nature' tapes? Urgh! Absolutely not. Give me Placebo anytime.
THE SNAKE AT WORK
Snakes become bored easily and therefore change jobs quite frequently. They are very conscientious and diligent at work. Since they are such relaxed individuals, they can often seem to be slacking off at work when in reality they are at the height of their creativity. They are organized and precise. Snakes can make lightening deadlines and can problem solve quickly. Sometimes, because they like to work alone, they can seem as though they are withholding information or being secretive about company initiatives.
I do become bored easily, but I work for real passion as well. I just find ways to revitalize my passion from time to time.
Then again, I'm crying out loud now to get out of my job, because I think I am really getting way too bored.
I am going to send this statement to my boss: "because they are such relaxed individuals, they can often seem to be slacking off at work when in reality they are at the height of their creativity". Oh, how so very true!
Organized? No.
Work alone? Yes.
Secretive about company initiatives? Bo pian, bounded by contractual terms. Ha.
MONEY AND THE SNAKE
A Snake’s worst nightmare is jumping head first into a financial deal or a shopping spree. The Snake can be successful as long as he avoids extemporaneous spending. Although he is intuitive, the Snake will often dive right into decisions without weighing the consequences, which can cause him financial ruin.
Those stupid shopping sprees. Spendings without weighing consequences.
Damn. I am ruined.
SNAKES MAKE EXCELLENT:
Scientists
Potters
Analysts
Jewelers
Spiritual Leaders
Sociologists
Dieticians
Astrologers
Magicians
Investigators
Painters
What the hell??? I so foul-mouthed, how to be spiritual leader? Investigator maybe. Those undercover kind, can pose as Ah Lian in Geylang to catch those foreign-worker-pimps.
LIKES AND DISLIKES
Color Preference: Red
Nope.
Gems and Stones: Topaz, Jasper, Bloodstone
Huh?
Suitable Gifts: binoculars, Tarot cards, oils and lotions, stamp collection
Simi sai???
Hobbies and Pastimes: Astrology, painting, touring, photography
Oh, photography! Touring - if only I could make it a past-time!
Snakes Dislike: Being interrupted, being mislead personally or professionally, failure
Yes. I hate failure, and I hate being misled. 'Nuff said.
THE SNAKE ON VACATION
Snakes love to vacation. They get a great deal of pleasure out of just being lazy. And they love luxurious things, often spending their money on material desires they probably don’t need. When a Snake goes on vacation, he really goes on vacation. Fancy restaurants, expensive health clubs and spas, anything in which they can fully indulge themselves. Their getaways must be fully equipped to pamper their every want, or the Snake will become stressed.
Haha. This is so true!
That I love to be lazy and nuah. (And someone else I know, too.)
And yes, spending my money on 'luxurious' stuff I don't really need. I think those silly bottles of body cream in my cupboard count here.
FRIENDS AND ENEMIES
Snakes have very few friends because thy are not outwardly emotional or open creatures. The friends they do make generally last a lifetime, even though peers may find it hard to relate to the Snake because he is withdrawn and secretive. Still, Snakes like social functions, in moderation, where they can gossip about the latest scandal or the newest news. If you stab a Snake in the back it is likely you will never be forgiven. In addition, you should prepare yourself for retaliation for the Snake always gets the last word.
Compatible Friends
Best Friends: Oxen and Roosters
Mortal Enemy: Pigs
Ok, I don't really know about this. But it is true I don't open up at first meetings. I don't really make first moves.
I don't gossip; I just bitch.
I don't think I've ever been stabbed. Try me, though. Let's see if I bite you back.
But I sure do hope my buddies will last me a lifetime.
SNAKE PARENTS AND BABIES
Snakes will likely form intimate bonds throughout his lifetime with different partners. With these relationships come children, and it is likely the Snake will have many children and stepchildren throughout his lifetime.
!!! I am finding this very personally upsetting.
Regardless, Snakes are devoted and dedicated parents, willing and able to defend the livelihood and happiness of their children.
I see myself.
Snake parents often use humor to deal with their parents. Because they like peace and quiet, they generally use humor to avoid confrontational situations with their young. In addition, this joy of serenity comes at a price for their children. Snake parents are not known to be the most affectionate or playful parents. They do not like to roll around and get dirty with their children, nor do they enjoy loud situations, and these types of things send a Snake running for a locked bedroom door. Unfortunately for the Snake partner, he is responsible for calming the children back down.
Yes, I am crappy. I like my sense of warped humor.
And I think I will be a crazy mom. I think my kids will be a crazy bunch too.
What's life if you ain't got fun?
THE SNAKE LOVER
Snakes are beautiful people who exhibit quite a sexual appeal. They are sleek and seductive and if they want you, will out a spell on you that won’t let you stop thinking about them. However, Snakes are quite prejudiced when choosing a partner and don’t just choose based on physical qualities. The Snake needs a partner who can appreciate his quirky sense of humor and his wacky way of handling situations, so generally, although quite beautiful and tempting to approach, the Snake does all the pursuing.
Yes, I am beautiful. But I got sexual appeal meh?
I seduce only the intellect, and not the groins. So yes, I am picky. You gotta be smart enough for my wisecracks.
I do have a quirky sense of humor and a wacky way of handling situations. And I'm proud of it.
And see? I told ya I'll be the hunter. =)
MARRIAGE
Because the Snake is so choosy, he can become jealous and obsessive about his partner. They can be a bit stand-offish with their mates, choosing to push away emotions rather than confront their feelings and insecurities. Once betrayed, you can bank on not ever being trusted by the Snake again as much as you can bet he will get even.
... ...
I don't get even. I just get mad.
THE SNAKE LOVE PARTNER
Not everyone can live and be happy with a Snake. It takes a patient soul, someone ready for the long haul, who can calm his nerves and deal with his obsessions with skill. Chinese horoscopes are very specific about which partnerships have the potential to be successful in love and in business. Yet, though destiny can point us in the right direction, we must still make all efforts to maintain loving relationships.
Do I sound like I'm difficult? I don't know, really.
Snake*Dragon
You fit well together…you share flirtatious natures and zesty outlooks.
I should go out and find my 龙哥.
Snake*Sheep
You two make great friends and even better lovers.
Or, maybe my 小棉羊.
Snake*Rooster
Dynamic duo!
Or, maybe I should just go find a cock. Haha!
Snake*Dog
Love at first sight. Go for it!
Sigh... maybe my friends are right. I should just marry a dog.
And finally...
LIBRAN SNAKE
One of the most beautiful breeds of the Snake, Libran Snakes are graceful and kind. They are always being pursued by someone interested in them and fall deeply in love with the right partner.
Stop it!
I already know I am beautiful.
...
I just hope I find the right one.
After all the fun, I am still confused about who I really am. Hmmm.
Addiction
Ah... So it seems caffeine ain't really that bad for me after all.
Coffee and Caffeine
by Rich Maloof for MSN Health & Fitness
Refill, anyone? Here are a few freshly brewed notes on coffee and caffeine, the most widely used stimulant in the world.
Caffeine aids short-term memory.
Researchers have demonstrated that short-term memory skills and reaction times are heightened after consuming caffeine. While this might not come as news to anyone who uses coffee to clear the fog of sleep, it had not been scientifically proven before the announcement in November 2005. The researchers from the Radiological Society of North America were also fascinated to see, on a functional MRI test, that coffee drinkers showed increased activity in the parts of the brain that control working memory and attention.
No wonder I needed so much kopi-o during exam-times.
Coffee is not addictive.
Coffee can be habit-forming but has not been proven truly addictive. The painful symptoms of caffeine withdrawal, however, are quite real. Even people whose sole caffeine hit is a daily 12-ounce cup of joe in the morning report headaches if they stop. Withdrawal symptoms can range from a mild headache, irritability and drowsiness to muscle aches, vomiting, blurred vision and even low-level depression. Nonetheless, anyone who tries hard enough can quit.
Uh-oh. I do get those headaches.
Caffeine works remarkably fast, with its effects felt within five minutes.
Like few other foods or drugs, caffeine is immediately absorbed through the stomach and intestines. Seconds after coffee hits the stomach, caffeine permeates the digestive tract’s soft lining and spreads throughout the body via the bloodstream. It’s fat soluble, it’s water soluble, it’s able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Caffeine even crosses the blood-brain barrier, which is otherwise nearly impervious to molecular invasion. Once caffeine storms the castle walls of the brain, the drug sets loose the full potential of its stimulating effects.
Ah-ha! I knew it! It's amazing how my eyes open wide immediately after the first sip.
Coffee helps you breathe better.
One biological response to caffeine is that it opens up the oxygen-seeking bronchia in the lungs. This pans out well for smoking coffee drinkers since it provides them with oxygen they would otherwise strangle with cigarettes.
Er...? Always bring coffee when you climb mountains?
Coffee has been linked to osteoporosis.
Caffeine gets a footnote in the study of osteoporosis, a disease that makes bones weak and brittle. Ingesting caffeine promotes the excretion of calcium (in urine), which, as every school kid knows, keeps bones strong. While not considered a cause of the infirmity, coffee does in this way contribute to the disease. People who are believed to be at risk for osteoporosis and choose to drink coffee can offset the calcium depletion with a daily glass of milk.
Oops. That case, I'll just drink less kopi-o, and drink kopi instead. =)
Coffee and Caffeine
by Rich Maloof for MSN Health & Fitness
Refill, anyone? Here are a few freshly brewed notes on coffee and caffeine, the most widely used stimulant in the world.
Caffeine aids short-term memory.
Researchers have demonstrated that short-term memory skills and reaction times are heightened after consuming caffeine. While this might not come as news to anyone who uses coffee to clear the fog of sleep, it had not been scientifically proven before the announcement in November 2005. The researchers from the Radiological Society of North America were also fascinated to see, on a functional MRI test, that coffee drinkers showed increased activity in the parts of the brain that control working memory and attention.
No wonder I needed so much kopi-o during exam-times.
Coffee is not addictive.
Coffee can be habit-forming but has not been proven truly addictive. The painful symptoms of caffeine withdrawal, however, are quite real. Even people whose sole caffeine hit is a daily 12-ounce cup of joe in the morning report headaches if they stop. Withdrawal symptoms can range from a mild headache, irritability and drowsiness to muscle aches, vomiting, blurred vision and even low-level depression. Nonetheless, anyone who tries hard enough can quit.
Uh-oh. I do get those headaches.
Caffeine works remarkably fast, with its effects felt within five minutes.
Like few other foods or drugs, caffeine is immediately absorbed through the stomach and intestines. Seconds after coffee hits the stomach, caffeine permeates the digestive tract’s soft lining and spreads throughout the body via the bloodstream. It’s fat soluble, it’s water soluble, it’s able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Caffeine even crosses the blood-brain barrier, which is otherwise nearly impervious to molecular invasion. Once caffeine storms the castle walls of the brain, the drug sets loose the full potential of its stimulating effects.
Ah-ha! I knew it! It's amazing how my eyes open wide immediately after the first sip.
Coffee helps you breathe better.
One biological response to caffeine is that it opens up the oxygen-seeking bronchia in the lungs. This pans out well for smoking coffee drinkers since it provides them with oxygen they would otherwise strangle with cigarettes.
Er...? Always bring coffee when you climb mountains?
Coffee has been linked to osteoporosis.
Caffeine gets a footnote in the study of osteoporosis, a disease that makes bones weak and brittle. Ingesting caffeine promotes the excretion of calcium (in urine), which, as every school kid knows, keeps bones strong. While not considered a cause of the infirmity, coffee does in this way contribute to the disease. People who are believed to be at risk for osteoporosis and choose to drink coffee can offset the calcium depletion with a daily glass of milk.
Oops. That case, I'll just drink less kopi-o, and drink kopi instead. =)
Made it
I am quite impressed with myself.
I didn't wake up at 5, no. But I woke up at 5.30, ok. =))
As if I really wanted it. Of all days, it had to be a cool, rainy morning today.
Gracie was even too lazy to get out of the bed to say 'goodbye' to her mommy at the door. Bitch.
But I had no qualms about not lying in bed any longer than I'd have loved to. Gan cheong is like that one.
It is nice - once in a while - to get up and hit the road this early.
One, I've always liked the pre-dawn hours. Still dark and cold. You see beginning signs of life and activity on the roads and in the kopitiams.
Two, I don't get stuck in any stupid traffic and I get to the other end of the island in less than half an hour.
Three... no need to pay stupid ERP!
I revel also in the fact that I'm the first one to report for work.
But I also know, the zzz monster will hit me in a while, by the time everyone else is at work.
Which is gonna be pretty soon. Hur hur.
*****
If there is only one thing in the world I need, it's gotta be caffeine.
That stuff goes right up to my brains and pries my eyes open - at the very first sip.
What, oh what will I do without my kopi-o?
I didn't wake up at 5, no. But I woke up at 5.30, ok. =))
As if I really wanted it. Of all days, it had to be a cool, rainy morning today.
Gracie was even too lazy to get out of the bed to say 'goodbye' to her mommy at the door. Bitch.
But I had no qualms about not lying in bed any longer than I'd have loved to. Gan cheong is like that one.
It is nice - once in a while - to get up and hit the road this early.
One, I've always liked the pre-dawn hours. Still dark and cold. You see beginning signs of life and activity on the roads and in the kopitiams.
Two, I don't get stuck in any stupid traffic and I get to the other end of the island in less than half an hour.
Three... no need to pay stupid ERP!
I revel also in the fact that I'm the first one to report for work.
But I also know, the zzz monster will hit me in a while, by the time everyone else is at work.
Which is gonna be pretty soon. Hur hur.
*****
If there is only one thing in the world I need, it's gotta be caffeine.
That stuff goes right up to my brains and pries my eyes open - at the very first sip.
What, oh what will I do without my kopi-o?
Quizas
If there's one thing I'm good at, it's leaving everything till the very last minute.
Oh yes, I'm the Great Procrastinator.
Good thing I think I slept my grogginess away and woke up early enough this (late) morning.
I had like 10,001 things-to-do on my list, but I've only gotten two checked.
Ok, maybe two-and-a-half.
Of the things still on my list, some are stuff that needs to be done, and also some that I'd like to do, before I leave for my long trip.
One, I need to visit his mom. For some reasons, I didn't get to see her on Day One, and I think it's only right I do so before I leave.
Two, I'd like to get a new jacket for the cold windy weather in Portland. But I am resisting it, because none in the stores now really catches my fancy. Ah, let's hope I find something better, and on sale, in HK.
Three, I'd like to get a new camera bag for my Lumix because the original Panasonic one is so 'za-zat'. Get a cooler one, can? But again, I'm resisting it.
Four, I need to finish reading a 16-page case study and answering some ensuing questions - all before the meeting on Wednesday. Die.
Five, I need to finish a few other presentations and reports before I leave for my meetings. Die also.
Six, 我很想k-歌!
And seven, 我更想打两圈麻将!!!
And I only have got tomorrow left.
@(*$#&()*&#$@!!!
*****
I am no bimbo, but I just have to say this.
I think Luis Garcia is impressing me a lot. With both his football skills and... you know.
I must say, though, I feel quite sorry for the Reds fans tonight.
It was quite an embarassing defeat to the irritating men in blue.
*****
I am a bit stoned now.
I cannot finish my work tonight. I think I'm going to 'koon'. Then wake up at 5 to get in to work early.
I must. I must. I must.
Quizas. Quizas. Quizas.
Oh yes, I'm the Great Procrastinator.
Good thing I think I slept my grogginess away and woke up early enough this (late) morning.
I had like 10,001 things-to-do on my list, but I've only gotten two checked.
Ok, maybe two-and-a-half.
Of the things still on my list, some are stuff that needs to be done, and also some that I'd like to do, before I leave for my long trip.
One, I need to visit his mom. For some reasons, I didn't get to see her on Day One, and I think it's only right I do so before I leave.
Two, I'd like to get a new jacket for the cold windy weather in Portland. But I am resisting it, because none in the stores now really catches my fancy. Ah, let's hope I find something better, and on sale, in HK.
Three, I'd like to get a new camera bag for my Lumix because the original Panasonic one is so 'za-zat'. Get a cooler one, can? But again, I'm resisting it.
Four, I need to finish reading a 16-page case study and answering some ensuing questions - all before the meeting on Wednesday. Die.
Five, I need to finish a few other presentations and reports before I leave for my meetings. Die also.
Six, 我很想k-歌!
And seven, 我更想打两圈麻将!!!
And I only have got tomorrow left.
@(*$#&()*&#$@!!!
*****
I am no bimbo, but I just have to say this.
I think Luis Garcia is impressing me a lot. With both his football skills and... you know.
I must say, though, I feel quite sorry for the Reds fans tonight.
It was quite an embarassing defeat to the irritating men in blue.
*****
I am a bit stoned now.
I cannot finish my work tonight. I think I'm going to 'koon'. Then wake up at 5 to get in to work early.
I must. I must. I must.
Quizas. Quizas. Quizas.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Happenin' Sia...
*Yawn*
I didn't want to, but I ended up snoozing the entire day.
Gracie must've been proud of her Mama today - I slept, woke up at mid-afternoon, read the papers, ate a packet of fried noodles, then fell asleep to my now-favorite 'Thomas & Friends' DVDs.
Brother to Little One: Ok, sleeping time. Daddy off TV huh.
Little One: *wide-eyed innocence* Milk.
Me: (lying on the same bed, eyes glued to the TV) Let him watch until he falls asleep lah.
Brother to Little One: Ok, Daddy give you one more minute to watch. I come back with milk, you sleep ok.
Brother came back with milk-bottle in hand, and caught me still lying on bed, eyes still glued to the TV.
Brother: You yourself want to watch, say so lah!
Haha. It's amazing how kiddie shows created to enthrall kids would have the same effect on me.
I hate Barney, though. That irritating purple monster with his fake smile and oh-so-unimaginative songs.
I love you
You love me
We're a happy family
With a great big hug
And a kiss from me to you
Won't you say you love me too?
'Nuff said.
It's already eight, and I'm still tired. Despite the shower and the kopi-o.
I had big plans rolled out today - like going back to the office, and then hitting town for a quick while. I think I need a new jacket for my upcoming HK/Portland trips.
But I dreaded the long drive back to the east, and I think the Chingay parade is going on in town tonight.
Thinking about these deterring factors was enough to put me back to sleep. Hur.
Don't you think 'Chingay' sounds a little too lewd for the uninitiated?
Chingay = Ching-Gay = Chinese Gay?
A parade full of Chinese Gays?
Together with our new pride in the world's largest Ministry of Sound, Chingay could've potentially put us on the international pop culture map, right next to Mardi Gras.
Cool.
I didn't want to, but I ended up snoozing the entire day.
Gracie must've been proud of her Mama today - I slept, woke up at mid-afternoon, read the papers, ate a packet of fried noodles, then fell asleep to my now-favorite 'Thomas & Friends' DVDs.
Brother to Little One: Ok, sleeping time. Daddy off TV huh.
Little One: *wide-eyed innocence* Milk.
Me: (lying on the same bed, eyes glued to the TV) Let him watch until he falls asleep lah.
Brother to Little One: Ok, Daddy give you one more minute to watch. I come back with milk, you sleep ok.
Brother came back with milk-bottle in hand, and caught me still lying on bed, eyes still glued to the TV.
Brother: You yourself want to watch, say so lah!
Haha. It's amazing how kiddie shows created to enthrall kids would have the same effect on me.
I hate Barney, though. That irritating purple monster with his fake smile and oh-so-unimaginative songs.
I love you
You love me
We're a happy family
With a great big hug
And a kiss from me to you
Won't you say you love me too?
'Nuff said.
It's already eight, and I'm still tired. Despite the shower and the kopi-o.
I had big plans rolled out today - like going back to the office, and then hitting town for a quick while. I think I need a new jacket for my upcoming HK/Portland trips.
But I dreaded the long drive back to the east, and I think the Chingay parade is going on in town tonight.
Thinking about these deterring factors was enough to put me back to sleep. Hur.
Don't you think 'Chingay' sounds a little too lewd for the uninitiated?
Chingay = Ching-Gay = Chinese Gay?
A parade full of Chinese Gays?
Together with our new pride in the world's largest Ministry of Sound, Chingay could've potentially put us on the international pop culture map, right next to Mardi Gras.
Cool.
Fuck Money
Uncle Evil came by my place for dinner this evening.
To 'bai nian' to my mom.
To collect ang pow, actually. He said he hasn't collected any yet this new year.
But secretly, I think he wants to see the girls too. Or, so I hope.
The 'How to Unleash Your Foul Mouth' lesson continued with the little one. Unfortunately.
Uncle Evil: Say... "fuck you".
Little One: ... ...
Uncle Evil: "Fuck... you..."
Little One: *holding his Barney DVD* Money (meaning 'Barney').
Uncle Evil: No... "fuck you".
Little One: Fuck you.
Uncle Evil: *amused* Again... "fuck you".
Me: (coming into the room at the right time) Noooooo!!! Don't say it ah!
Little One: Fuck Money.
!!!!!
I think we're in some serious double-trouble here.
P.S.: Ok, actually, I thought I found it quite funny. Hahaha.
*****
Sometimes, I look at Piper and wonder.
If she could speak at all, would she tell me she misses her evil daddy too?
To 'bai nian' to my mom.
To collect ang pow, actually. He said he hasn't collected any yet this new year.
But secretly, I think he wants to see the girls too. Or, so I hope.
The 'How to Unleash Your Foul Mouth' lesson continued with the little one. Unfortunately.
Uncle Evil: Say... "fuck you".
Little One: ... ...
Uncle Evil: "Fuck... you..."
Little One: *holding his Barney DVD* Money (meaning 'Barney').
Uncle Evil: No... "fuck you".
Little One: Fuck you.
Uncle Evil: *amused* Again... "fuck you".
Me: (coming into the room at the right time) Noooooo!!! Don't say it ah!
Little One: Fuck Money.
!!!!!
I think we're in some serious double-trouble here.
P.S.: Ok, actually, I thought I found it quite funny. Hahaha.
*****
Sometimes, I look at Piper and wonder.
If she could speak at all, would she tell me she misses her evil daddy too?
Friday, February 03, 2006
Kobe Bryant ... in his own words
Kobe Bryant/Dime Magazine
The following excerpt is from Kobe Bryant's first-person cover story in Issue #22 of Dime.
My biggest fear is not winning another title. But fear is a great motivator. I'm determined to lead this organization back to the top. The people who once celebrated me are the same people who doubt me now. They say that because I don't have Shaq that I can't win, that it's over. The only thing I truly worry about is that my drive and my will are sometimes too much for my teammates to handle. Do I expect too much from them? How can I elevate them to play with my same passion every night?
What helps me understand and deal with this is the fact that I was once in their shoes. I once played a supporting role on this team. Back then I knew how much pressure Shaquille had on him to win a ring and I also knew I could help. So I studied the game offensively and especially defensively because I knew that if I could harass on the perimeter with him clogging the lane, it would demoralize our opponents more than anything we could do offensively.
I also knew that the teams he played on in the past did not have a closer. No one could take the game over down the stretch or hit the game winner or make the key free throws. Those were Shaq's weaknesses, so I had to step up and make them my strengths. I knew how much more I could bring to the battle, but that wasn't my role. I was a scorer who became a facilitator in order to win.
But now I worry because I know how hard that was for me to learn, how many sleepless nights I had and how much criticism and trade rumors I had to endure before I mastered my role. This is probably what my current teammates are going through. All I can do is pray that one day we will reach the same level of chemistry and understanding that existed between me, Shaq, Rick Fox, Derek Fisher, Robert Horry and all the other players I once went to war with.
The fears I have are soothed a little by the presence of Phil Jackson. Simply put: He is the best coach I have ever played for. Everything I have learned about the game can be traced to him and Tex Winter. They teach the game at such a deeper level than X's and O's. The game is a rhythm, a dance. Phil and Tex have taught me to feel the game. To think the game without thinking, to see without seeing. They taught me how to prepare. How to conceptualize the spirit of my opponents and attack them where they are weak.
I've seen how prepared PJ gets before games, and as the on-court leader he is trusting me to do the same. So I do all the things he has taught me to do before tipoff and once the ball is in the air my mind is at ease and my body is ready to play. I take it to the other team on both ends of the floor. I take pride in being able to do that. I HATE being scored on, even by players who some say are "un-guardable." I don't believe it when they say "Oh, that player is just hot today." F--- that! Cool his ass off then.
When we play on the road and the entire crowd is booing me it doesn't bother me at all. What I think about is simple: "When these fans leave this game I want them to remember how hard I fought and the passion and drive with which I played." I have always played this game with passion. And I always worked hard.
When I saw the movie Rudy I remember thinking, "What if I worked that hard?" God has blessed me both physically and intellectually to play this game, so what would happen if I push as hard as the character in this film? I would love for people to think of me as a talented overachiever. Even though those fans may chant "Kobe sucks" when they leave that arena I want them to walk out with a different feeling than they came in with. When they leave they'll leave with the understanding that they have just witnessed a player give himself completely to his passion; they have just watched an athlete pour every ounce of his heart and soul out on that floor.
And hopefully, when the next volume of my life is all said and done, they will respect and appreciate the years that I spent giving all of me to the game that means everything to me.
*****
We think we know passion?
Think again.
Especially dedicated to someone.
May you score 81 one day, too.
The following excerpt is from Kobe Bryant's first-person cover story in Issue #22 of Dime.
My biggest fear is not winning another title. But fear is a great motivator. I'm determined to lead this organization back to the top. The people who once celebrated me are the same people who doubt me now. They say that because I don't have Shaq that I can't win, that it's over. The only thing I truly worry about is that my drive and my will are sometimes too much for my teammates to handle. Do I expect too much from them? How can I elevate them to play with my same passion every night?
What helps me understand and deal with this is the fact that I was once in their shoes. I once played a supporting role on this team. Back then I knew how much pressure Shaquille had on him to win a ring and I also knew I could help. So I studied the game offensively and especially defensively because I knew that if I could harass on the perimeter with him clogging the lane, it would demoralize our opponents more than anything we could do offensively.
I also knew that the teams he played on in the past did not have a closer. No one could take the game over down the stretch or hit the game winner or make the key free throws. Those were Shaq's weaknesses, so I had to step up and make them my strengths. I knew how much more I could bring to the battle, but that wasn't my role. I was a scorer who became a facilitator in order to win.
But now I worry because I know how hard that was for me to learn, how many sleepless nights I had and how much criticism and trade rumors I had to endure before I mastered my role. This is probably what my current teammates are going through. All I can do is pray that one day we will reach the same level of chemistry and understanding that existed between me, Shaq, Rick Fox, Derek Fisher, Robert Horry and all the other players I once went to war with.
The fears I have are soothed a little by the presence of Phil Jackson. Simply put: He is the best coach I have ever played for. Everything I have learned about the game can be traced to him and Tex Winter. They teach the game at such a deeper level than X's and O's. The game is a rhythm, a dance. Phil and Tex have taught me to feel the game. To think the game without thinking, to see without seeing. They taught me how to prepare. How to conceptualize the spirit of my opponents and attack them where they are weak.
I've seen how prepared PJ gets before games, and as the on-court leader he is trusting me to do the same. So I do all the things he has taught me to do before tipoff and once the ball is in the air my mind is at ease and my body is ready to play. I take it to the other team on both ends of the floor. I take pride in being able to do that. I HATE being scored on, even by players who some say are "un-guardable." I don't believe it when they say "Oh, that player is just hot today." F--- that! Cool his ass off then.
When we play on the road and the entire crowd is booing me it doesn't bother me at all. What I think about is simple: "When these fans leave this game I want them to remember how hard I fought and the passion and drive with which I played." I have always played this game with passion. And I always worked hard.
When I saw the movie Rudy I remember thinking, "What if I worked that hard?" God has blessed me both physically and intellectually to play this game, so what would happen if I push as hard as the character in this film? I would love for people to think of me as a talented overachiever. Even though those fans may chant "Kobe sucks" when they leave that arena I want them to walk out with a different feeling than they came in with. When they leave they'll leave with the understanding that they have just witnessed a player give himself completely to his passion; they have just watched an athlete pour every ounce of his heart and soul out on that floor.
And hopefully, when the next volume of my life is all said and done, they will respect and appreciate the years that I spent giving all of me to the game that means everything to me.
*****
We think we know passion?
Think again.
Especially dedicated to someone.
May you score 81 one day, too.
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