Appraisal

Sh*t.

I hope these aren't true.


What those words on yearly performance reviews really mean:

1. Outgoing personality - Always going out of the office

2. Great presentation skills - Able to bullshit

3. Good communication skills - Spends lots of time on phone

4. Work is first priority - Too ugly to get a date

5. Active socially - Drinks a lot

6. Independent worker - Nobody knows what he/she does

7. Quick thinking - Offers plausible excuses

8. Careful thinker - Won't make a decision

9. Uses logic on difficult jobs - Gets someone else to do it

10. Express themselves well - Speaks English

11. Meticulous attention to detail - A nit-picker

12. Has leadership qualities - Is tall or has a louder voice

13. Exceptionally good judgment - Lucky

14. Keen sense of humour - Knows a lot of dirty jokes

15. Career-minded - Backstabber

16. Loyal - Can't get a job elsewhere

17. Plans for promotion/advancement - Buys drinks for all the boys

18. Relaxed attitude - Sleeps at desk


Truth be told, I quite find them all very funny.

They did manage to cheer me a little.