Luff Note

I am in a wondrous mood to write and write and write tonight.

I am feeling exhilarated right now because it has been raining ouside since the time I left the cafe a few hours ago.

It has been a real long while since I've been able to snuggle under my covers as I go to sleep, without even turning the fan on. I remember how freakin' hot it was just a couple of weeks ago in the nights - it actually made me lose precious sleep. It helps in rainy nights like this that I got the best room in the house - we live one storey down from the corridor-storey and my room is thankfully sheltered by the corridor above. My old windows were so underused the hinges rusted till we couldn't really close them when we needed to.

So, tonight, I am going to slip under my duvet as I tuck myself into bed, and feel the cold wind, listen to the pitter-patter and smell the fresh rain outside as I rest my eyes.


I was also feeling exhilarated just about 19 hours ago - just before the man was due to report for work.

I received a message on my cell - I saw his name, looked at time, and wondered, "Oh dear, did the man forget something important?"

Yeah, he almost did. He almost forgot to tell me he loved me.

So he sent it in a message just before he flew off, and sent his blessings for my trip.

At least there was a sweet goodbye. It makes my long trip look less daunting.


I haven't heard those two words from him for a long time. They have been so free-and-easy-flowing in our years together, most of the time they probably have been sent and received with less significance than they should.

Today, the words sent this tingling sensation down my inner soul that I haven't felt for a while.

Peace. Happiness. No matter how short-term.


The confusion state of my mind set in only a while after I happily sent back an immediate message.

I read the message over and over again to make sure I didn't just read what my mind had wanted to see.

I'm a little wiser today - I don't want to think about it too much.

Faith = No Doubt. Yes? No?

If I still have faith that I want to believe in, I should not doubt the obvious, should I?

God, please tell me this sign is obvious enough not to ignore.

Are You shining some light ahead for me? Have You posted a roadsign at my crossroad?

Remember, just no pranks.


Many moons ago, I came across this question posed somewhere: can two persons love each other, but not live with each other? No, it doesn't talk about cohabitation nor physically living together under the same roof. Instead it talks about two persons loving each other deeply but finding that they just cannot be together, that they just cannot accept each other into their respective lives.

Well, many moons ago, my answer was a clear-cut 'no way'. If you love someone, you accept that someone exactly the way he is. If you cannot live with someone, how can you claim you love him? How is there even love in the first place?

Today, under the disappearing moon, I have no answer to that same question. I think.

I always hate it when the world seems to tell the values I hold on to strongly have been wrong.

Did I fark myself up? Or is the world screwing me upside down?


I am looking forward to the trip. Not to the meetings, but to Vancouver.

"It is beautiful." There you go - I heard it again.

But I still have tons to do tomorrow. I only have exactly 24 hours left before the taxi comes for me tomorrow morning.

I have to complete some work and send them out over email. I sure hope I don't have to go into the office.

I have to meet my insurance agent to collect my travel insurance policy. I've learnt wiser this time.

I have to pay my bills. Else, my parents have no cable shows to watch while I'm gone for two good weeks.

I have to buy my USB phone-charger that allows me to charge my cell from my laptop - a great invention I'm thankful for. It saves me so much trouble in allocating 'charging time' amongst all my gadgets with just two adapters.

I have to check if I run out of any toiletry item so I don't have to panic at the last minute. I always do.

I have to attend a baby shower in the afternoon. I love baby showers, but it's more likely going to be a gathering for us girlfriends.

And I have to pack. Fark, I hate this. I always pack till the very last minute.

I need to make sure, for once, I get some rest before my flight tomorrow. I intend to save my headache by wearing my contact lenses during the flights.