Character and Brains

It was a chance for me to change my life. At least in my work life.

I wondered why I was approached. I have absolutely no experience whatsoever in what I was asked to take up.

"Because of your character and your brains. I cannot afford to pay someone who is not up to it. I know you can do it."


Such faith and confidence placed in me scare me a little.

Trying out something totally new, something that will pick on my brains and creativity, excites me.

But having someone put such faith in me, someone so willing to let me try it out despite leaving no chances for failure, is quite a huge challenge to take.

What if I fail his expectations?

I fear letting him down.

I know firsthand the feeling of being let down.

Though perhaps being let down professionally wouldn't feel as bitter as let down emotionally, I guess.


It is a little start-up with an office based in one of those cool old houses in Holland Village.

He who wanted to hire me is an ex-colleague-turned-photographer, and now partner of a small firm dealing in other marketing aspects.

He wanted me to think creative and write for him. Isn't writing what I've always wanted to try out?

It would be cool, working in a Mac-based office, I thought. It would be great working and learning with him. It would be marvellous, still being able to wake up at 8 and go to work in slacks. It would be fun, being able to meet new people in my life.

Except for one little issue.

The job wouldn't be able to pay for my car and my life. There is just a little too much for me to give up.

I can perhaps give up buying new gadgets and books and shoes. I can forget about buying my Oris.

I can perhaps even drink less.

But I have plans of getting my own pad, and of travelling. And I have only the car left to sustain the life I have now.

What then?

"Don't let your money commitments tie you down. If the car is too expensive to maintain while you're exploring, sell. You can borrow my van for your basketball training."

"But money isn't everything too and to judge a whole career or lifetime of work by money earned will leave you poorer for it in other ways."

Money isn't everything, I know. But money now can buy me the life I want to build all over again.


Perhaps it is bad timing, I say.

If things had still been well, I know someone would've given me his blessings and money wouldn't have been an issue at all. I would've been able to sacrifice the money I would be giving up.

Things would have been easier. The decision would've been easier.

My life perhaps would have been easier too.


It's no use thinking of all the 'ifs' and 'buts' now.

I am what I am, and I only have what I have now.

And the decision still has to be made.