Stuck

I sounded really bonkers, really cheesed off last night, didn't I?

Everytime I thought my moods were lifting higher, I get dumped back down the next moment.

It's like trying to pull yourself out of a quicksand pit - the sand sucks you in faster than you can pull yourself out.

The pits pull you down stronger than you can push yourself up.

You know what I mean? Maybe this will help you see.



I hit a high once, but I slided down since some point in time, and I can never really figure out exactly at which point.

Everytime I get a little better, I get more worse next.

How much lower can I still possibly get?


I was looking forward to rebuilding my life. I had some plans - changes in my life that would hopefully give me new things to work on, new things to put my hopes on, to propel me forward.

Now, that plan seems to be falling through. My mom is using emotional blackmail on me.

I am stuck where I am.

I was once supposed to be rescued, someone had promised me. I waited patiently for years, only to get dumped behind in this hell-hole.

Now I feel I can never get out of this place.

If I can never really get out of it till the day I die, I might as well stay out of it as much as I can.