Find Him... or Find Me

An email going around the girls in the office today goes like this:


Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you fall asleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "That's her."


Wah, this kind of man, I also want.

But I have a few questions.


Number one: Does such a man as described above truly and realistically exist? And on Earth, I do mean. I don't care about Mars or anywhere else.

Is it even humanly possible for a man to behave as such?

Like colleague says, "This kind of man, how to find?"


Number two: Assuming the answer to question one is affirmative, then how many can you actually find coexisting at any one time?

If An Lian finds one, and Ah Huay finds another one, then what are the chances of me actually finding a next one for myself too? Or are they already all extinct after Ah Lian and Ah Huay grab theirs?

You want, I want. But everyone else also wants.

Human cloning?


Number three: Assuming such a man exists, and there are actually enough of them to go around such that you manage to snag one for yourself in no time, how can you be sure the sweet acts as described above are done out of true love and desire? And not just something he does in the first year of the relationship, but something he'll be willing to do for the rest of his life? Just for you?


Which brings me to number four naturally: How would you know you're the only person he kisses on the forehead, he stays up to watch fall asleep, he calls when hung up on? How do you know you're the only girl he shows off to his friends, he swears he cares about and he's lucky to have?

How do you know he's not going around calling every other girl 'beautiful'? Or if he's calling you 'beautiful' but other girls 'hot'?

How do you know he's not saying, "That's her... and her... and her..." instead?

How can you be sure your hands are the only ones he holds in front of his friends? How can you be so sure he holds only your hands, but grabs every other girl's ass?

Hmm.. those friends of his. They can be another problem altogether.


Number five: Ok ok, assuming yeah, Mr Super-Duper Nice Guy does in fact exist and appears right in front of you for you to have and to hold for the rest of your life, what if now you actually realize that you wouldn't want to do the same to him?

You realize he's not the one you want to kiss, he's not the one you want to sleep next to and wake up the next morning to, he's not the one you call 'beautiful' even though he's hunky-dory with a cute dimpled smile to add, he's not the one you want to call when you have little exciting discoveries of the day.

What if he's not the one you just want to declare "I love you" to every single day, every single moment when you have the chance?

What if he's not the one you just have to message "I love you" every time just before you board a plane, even to KL?

So what then, if he's the nicest guy ever on Earth?

I know I'll get kicked in the ass by all my girlfriends for raising this question.

But my point is, and I stand by it steadfastly, it takes two persons to love and hold each other for the rest of their lives.

It takes two persons to kiss, and to hold hands.

It takes two to say, "I love you".


Number six: This is for myself.

If the man never exactly did what Mr Super-Duper Nice Guy would have done, but did everything in his own little ways, does that mean he wasn't the right one for me?

Was I then Miss Super-Duper Nice Girl who did, or would have done, all of the above, but just wasn't appreciated? Or are nice girls not supposed to be doing what Mr Nice Guys should be doing?

Is someone then waiting for me?

I gotta figure that one out for myself, I suppose.


I would certainly like a man like that.

But I don't judge on character. And neither do I have criteria set out.

To me, if two crappy persons love each other, treat each other like poo but they love each other to the core and they are happy with the poo treatment, so be it. That's what love is supposed to be.

Mr Nice Guy would have been a nice bonus.


The man above sure does sound sweet to have.

I kinda wish I had a man like that. I wish the man had been a little more like that.


Oh fooking 'ell.

Look what a silly little email has done to a cynic bitch like me.

Pardon me, girls.