Goodbye, 2005

I can't believe I just spent the last day of the year playing two rounds of mahjong.

I woke up to a phone message after one in the afternoon, and within less than an hour, I was out on my way to a distant-friend's home.

How no-life. Sigh.

Good thing I won myself some decent dinner money.


I still haven't had plans for the rest of the night.

I don't really know what I'd like to do. My friends are everywhere, but really nowhere for me.

I don't really feel like booze, yet I don't want to stay home alone as well.

Urgh. I hope in the new year, that is from tomorrow, I would always know what I want.


I'm still in a daze, and my head is still churning up stuff.

I just can't snap out of it.

I don't want to resort to alcohol tonight.


2005 has been nothing but a whole turbulent journey for me.

I never knew life could get this tough for me. Perhaps, just perhaps, I had been too complacent.

I loved, I lost. I knew happiness, then I knew sadness. I worked, but I wasn't satisfied.

I don't wish to remember the sad things for life, but I sure hope I learn from them.


*****

Before the clock strikes midnight, let me send some well wishes to my loved ones out there. You know who you are.

To those who are happily married with kids, please stay that way. Love your hubbies or wifeys like they are the best thing that has ever happened to you in this otherwise-wretched life. Love your kids like they are the most precious gift from heaven. Teach them well and shield them from the evils of the world. You'd never realize how much your world is so incomplete until you have them. Count every day of your life spent with your family as a blessing. Remember, every single day counts.

To those who are expecting moms, may you have bouncing, beautiful babies in 2006. Don't worry about the cryings in the nights, the diaper-changings, the dark eye-bags that may form, the change in your shopping-partying-travelling lifestyle, or the change in your beautiful figures. Everything is worth a sacrifice just for those tiny fingers gripping your own, and for that tiny voice calling you 'Mommy' some months later. If you need a babysitter because you need a breather, I'm here. And most of all, to my best-ever girlfriend, remember I'm always here for you. Auntie Fatmama just can't wait to start shopping for all the baby Gaps and baby Old Navys when she goes to Portland again. =)

To those who are in a career rut, don't whine no more. Go out there and make a difference to your life. If you want more money, go ahead and sell yourself. If you are sick of the sickening corporate world, be bold and make a jump over to the next ship. Nothing can ever go wrong if you believe in yourself. If you are just simply feeling clueless and directionless, come have a drink with me. Ha. No, seriously, maybe it's time to bring out those dreams of yours, and find a way toward making them come true.

To those who have actually gotten out of the rut and will be getting a new job, congratulations! You go, girls! Don't forget any lobangs for me, ok.

To those who are not in the best of health, please take care and please don't hide from us who love you. If you have to, just give up those bloody drinks. We can always sing karaoke. My knowledge of Chinese songs has improved - I promise!

To those who are facing problems at home, don't be upset with your family. Keep on loving them and being there for them because you know, if you're the one in trouble, your family is the only one that will stay around for you. No matter what.

To those who are pursuing your dreams and meet obstacles in the way, don't give up. You're halfway there. Don't turn back. You know, I envy you so. One of the greatest happiness in life is being able to wake up every single day and do what you've always liked to do. Not many of us can lay claim on such pride.

To those still in school, I have only two words for you. Study hard. I'll take care of you now, and when you start earning your own dough, you can take care of me then. Ha.

To those in love, love each other truly, and truthfully. Another of the greatest happiness in life is being in love every single day - and knowing you're being loved. Don't ever take the other for granted. Don't fight, and if you do, forget about it the very next day, and give each other a kiss the moment you see each other. Don't stop saying "I love you" - and mean it well when you say it. Don't stop thinking of the other. Kiss each other before you sleep, when you're leaving the house, before you board the plane. You'd never know when you'd no longer have the chance to.

To those who fell out of love, come drink with me too. Ha. Ok, seriously. Go on a break. Travel. Buy yourselves things you've always wanted but could never bear to spend the money on. Change your hair. Change your wardrobe. Meet more people. And when all that is done, sit down and listen to your heart. Listen to what it really wants to do, and decide if you want to follow it. Remember, sometimes pride gets in the way. Don't give up chasing after what you believe in. But when you know it's time to leave, leave it. Completely. I wish you guys more life (haha), more happiness, more money, and that you will meet your next happiness - the real thing - very soon.

To those who don't believe in 'forever', don't influence me leh. Still, even if you don't believe in it, I wish you find the one that will love you forever till you guys grow old.

To those who are already happy, stay that way, please. If nothing is bothering you, let it be. If no trouble, don't go find trouble. I've seen it all this year. Sometimes there's no turning back, and this is when you'd wish you had never 'done this' nor 'done that'.


To my two little girls and my little man, don't always fight, please! Mommy/gu-gu loves you guys. Stay healthy and happy - be glad you don't know about heartaches and worries in this world.


And to you, who are still confused, may you find what you really want this year. Time goes on - minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day - and never waits for anyone. You have been lucky your whole life, so learn to count your blessings. Know that the Big Guy hasn't forgotten about you. Don't hurt, and don't get burned. Learn to love others - truly and truthfully. Play your game well, and take good care of your health. I wish I could be there for you, but I'll never know what's going to happen. If you really want to, you'll know how to find me.

To me, I wish myself sanity, peace of mind, and a happy soul. And oh, sensibility to make the right decision. For once.


Big Man, I hope that's not a lot to ask for. Is it?

Have a blessed new year ahead, folks.