Happy Birthday, Big Man!

It was a peaceful Eve for me. Just the way I wanted it to be.

Hot-pot. Couple of beers (only). Taboo. Charade. Initial D and other crappy movies that nonetheless made me laugh and cringe at the same time.

A phone message came just before 3 in the morning - all the way from "pissed-drunk' Hong Kong.

Ed: Hey sis, are you still up?
Me: Yeah, what's up?
Ed: What are you doing?
Me: Just driving home from friend's place. Why?
Ed: Nothing. Just checking to see if you are alright.

Awww... what a sweet gesture.

I'm more surprised he wasn't pissed enough to have been able to "check on me". Haha.


The whole idea about how Christmas is being celebrated is getting to me.

I was a little reluctant when the pals wanted to do a countdown just before midnight with glasses of red wine on hand. I was upset by the fact that everywhere else in the pubs, and even on TV, people would be counting down to Christmas with party hats and the DJ behind the console.

It's not the New Year, not another new millenium, for goodness' sake.

Anyway, we missed the countdown - and I was relieved. We were all too caught up with Takumi racing down Mount Akina.

Shopping in town, I was pretty disturbed and upset by how 'commercialized' an occasion Christmas has become.

Parties. Drinks. The frivolous ways gifts are being bought and exchanged - by non-Christian faith believers.

Hello? Have people forgotten, or do they not know in the first place, what Christmas is being celebrated for?


I am not a strong follower, by conventional standards. I don't go to church (mostly because I just can never wake up on time). I don't preach. I don't pray. I don't evangelize.

I have my own weaknesses to vices, and I have lots of faults and shortcomings.

But I have my own ways with the Big Man up in heaven, and the best I can do to be like him is to love. Unconditionally. And I think that is pretty true in my relationships with the ex-man, with my family, with my friends.

I talk to him in my own ways and he tells me things in his own ways too - a relationship only the two of us understand. And I know he knows.

So I just get upset with the way people seem to be celebrating his birthday, especially when they don't even know much about the birthday boy.

I read an email "from him", and it made me genuinely sad.

*****

As you know, we are getting closer to my birthday. Every year there is a celebration in my honor and I think that this year the celebration will be repeated.

During this time there are many people shopping for gifts, there are many radio announcements, TV commercials, and in every part of the world everyone is talking that my birthday is getting closer and closer.

It is really very nice to know, that at least once a year, some people think of me.

As you know, the celebration of my birthday began many years ago. At first people seemed to understand and be thankful of all that I did for them, but in these times, no one seems to know the reason for the celebration.

Family and friends get together and have a lot of fun, but they don't know the meaning of the celebration. I remember that last year there was a great feast in my honor. The dinner table was full of delicious foods, pastries, fruits, assorted nuts and chocolates. The decorations were exquisite and there were many, many beautifully wrapped gifts.

But, do you want to know something? I wasn't invited.

I was the guest of honor and they didn't remember to send me an invitation. The party was for me, but when that great day came, I was left outside, they closed the door in my face .. and I wanted to be with them and share their table. In truth, that didn't surprise me because in the last few years all close their doors to me. Since I wasn't invited, I decided to enter the party without making any noise. I went in and stood in a corner. They were all drinking; there were some who were drunk and telling jokes and laughing at everything. They were having a grand time.

To top it all, this big fat man all dressed in red wearing a long white beard entered the room yelling Ho-Ho-Ho! He seemed drunk. He sat on the sofa and all the children ran to him, saying: "Santa Claus, Santa Claus" as if the party were in his honor! At midnight all the people began to hug each other; I extended my arms waiting for someone to hug me and do you know no-one hugged me.

Suddenly they all began to share gifts. They opened them one by one with great expectation. When all had been opened, I looked to see if, maybe, there was one for me. What would you feel if on your birthday everybody shared gifts and you did not get one? I then understood that I was unwanted at that party and quietly left.

Every year it gets worse. People only remember the gifts, the parties, to eat and drink, and nobody remembers me.

*****

Doesn't all that sound just too familiar?

All I really want for Christmas is to spend quiet loving time - with the ones I love.

Yes, Big Man, you included.