Lost

"Realize you didn't lose him... he walked away."

Yeah, perhaps it sounds true-r, put that way.

Somehow it lifted me up a little.


I cannot stay in the dumps for too long.

I get depressed, and I hate being in depression.

I've still got my sense of humor, and I want to laugh harder.

WahahahahahahaHA.


It took some verbal slapping from a girlfriend to wake me up a little.

It makes things a little easier to bear, somehow. Seeing things I couldn't see - simply because I didn't want to see them.

"The world isn't always what we try to paint them to be... New Year coming. And when it says 'new', you know you shouldn't be bothered by the same OLD things."

That corny one made me giggle. =)

Then came some culinary advice from the F&B expert herself.

"If I like a beef steak, even if I have salmon teriyaki or a stewed lamb leg in front of me, I will know what I want. Maybe out of curiousity, I might want to try the fish... but that's not love, and it will still lead me back to the steak."

Wah, cheem. But I get what you mean.


I was looking for some answers. The questions didn't come, and so the answers didn't follow.

But I pulled out that fateful MSN conversation in July that I had saved and re-read it over again last night.

I didn't make a choice. I painted a few scenarios and he chose the one that seemed most befitting - to him.

So, perhaps I already have my answers. Or, no?

"Think for yourself, don't assume what he is goin through. Ask when you need an answer and when it doesn't come, you know, you already have the answer. And when you have the answer, firm it and find a better person to date."

=)


Face it.

Things aren't going to get any better for me in the near future. I may end up in the dumps again. My head may get befuddled again. The questions may start popping up in my mind again. I may cry again.

But I have to try. And I have to start somewhere.

All I want is to start the brand new year right, and if you can't help me, then perhaps the answer's written all over you.


"Someone who didn't come back on his own will never stay long enough for you."

How brutally honest. Or should it be - how honestly brutal?

Yeah, I didn't lose you.

You lost me.