Pride and Possibilities

Yay! I'm going to have a baby!

Not mine, of couse. Just another lil' one for me to play with, and to dote on.

But I'll have to zip up from here.

Uh-uh. Nothing more.


I met two of my favoritest people today. Both of whom I have been missing for a while.

And both of whom, incidentally, are my only Sakae-chums.

I met one in the day, and I met the other at night. No prizes for guessing where I had dinner.


Best friend.

Hard to define, harder to find, yet easy to betray.

I think I lost mine some time ago.

Now, I only have good friends, and very good friends.

The next person to be my best friend would have pretty big shoes to fill. And preferably, he would be a soulmate too.

A real one, this time, please.


*****

One day in town, and I'm home with only two CDs (one of which is mine by the way) and a pair of boxers in my shopping bag.

Can I be any less efficient?!

I'd like to put the entire blame on my ankle, but really, I have to admit to my indecisiveness as well.

Sigh. A not-so-woman woman.


I'm proud of the CD I bought, though - the one that doesn't belong to me.

A pretty obscure soundtrack.

I searched painfully through six CD stores from Wheelock to Orchard Cineleisure before I found it. And I found it at the least expected place - Sembawang Music Store. Not Borders. Not HMV. Bleah.

My favoritest CD of all time.

It was his, too. That was how I ever got to know of those awesome songs.


There are a couple more mind-boggling things about Christmas shopping, I realize.


For every 'great' gift I think would be perfect for a dear friend, I always end up wanting to buy the same - for myself.

Books. Jewelry. Undies. Bags. Anything.

"Hmm... this is so nice, I think so-and-so would adore it. In fact, I think I'd like the same for myself too."

Or.

I walk into a favorite store, thinking I might find something I like that my friend would like too.

"No... no... nope, I don't think so-and-so would fancy this. But ah... I like this..."

And then, when I decide that there's nothing in that store my friend would fancy, I start looking at things I do fancy and start trying them out.

That was how I ended up - innocently - with a new skirt yesterday.

Sigh.


I realize as well that the more you care for someone, the longer the list of choices grows.

In fact, it's almost a neverending list of possibilities.

First, you wonder if you should even be getting that someone a gift. And when you're past that stage, all of a sudden, your eyes grow huger with bewilderment because everywhere you go, you see only possibilities - for that one person.

Coulds. Woulds. Shoulds. Maybes.

When you really care for someone special, you'd always wish you could buy the world for that someone.

And that's when the headache begins.


*****

"Are they mad?" quipped Miss Tan.

I had mentioned to her that my family - namely my father and my brother - wants to ban me from the game for *quote* at least six months *unquote*.

Yes, I do think they are, too.

The most devastating thing to a sportsman, other than not winning a race or a game, is a crippling injury that would leave him out on the cold bench for months.

But then, we sportsmen have pride. And war scars are our biggest pride.

We never say 'never again' in the face of a torn ligament or a broken arm.

Anyway, my folks are not going to be able to put me under house-arrest, or monitor my every single move.

That's one of the best things you gain as a free-willing adult: freedom.

Then again, they nag. Urgh.


*****

I seem to be talking non-stop for a week about nothing but my tree-stump and my Christmas-shopping incidents.

Well, they are just about the only exciting things going on in my life now.

Bleah.


P.S.: I have atrociously bad grammar in this posting. Favoritest. Huger. *rolls eyes*