Psychoanalysis

Psychoanalysis - that's what I'm undergoing right now. What it really means is that I'm just thinking.

Psychoanalysis - I much prefer the sound of that.

It makes me seem more serious, less crazy - or more appropriately, it makes me more justifiably crazy.

By comparison, compulsive 'thinking' makes you look like an obsessed nut.

So, from now, I am not gonna think - I'm gonna 'psychoanalyze'.


What an ironic twist of events tonight.

I was trying to login at the cafe again, and write. But the stupid connection failed me - totally. Cheesed off by Starhub, I decided to have a change of venue - somewhere I know where I can get free internet, and booze to go along - Villa Bali.

I rushed there before 10, hoping I could get a table before the crowd invaded the place. Unfortunately, the crowds were smarter than me, and I was about to leave after being told I couldn't possibly get a 'table for one' tonight, when my phone rang.

And it was... him. "I saw you."

His friends spotted me, I suppose. So I joined them, simply just glad my purpose here tonight was fulfilled anyhow.

And I'm still writing right here, at this very moment, sitting with the guys, across from him, nonetheless. I have a purpose to fulfill.


I've learnt one thing tonight.

I've learnt there's absolutely nothing wrong with psychoanalyzing, with listening to what your heart has to say, with talking to your heart. Even if you do so all the time, every minute, every day. Because the day you stop doing so, your heart stops living. Then, you're just as good as dead.

Never stop thinking. Never fear loving. Never be afraid of asking questions.

They are the very essence that keeps your heart beating.


I'm reading a book that is making me psychoanalyzing a hell lot. What it is doing to my emotional state is not material; how I reach my decision and what decision I'm exactly making is.