Living A Life

Just like how I had once asked the man, very much early on in our days together, "Do you think we would ever run out of things to say to each other?", I wondered if I would ever run out of things to write about.

We both agreed then: No, that would be tough to happen; if we had truly lived our lives together, how could we ever reach a stage where we had nothing to talk about?

And if I were ever to have nothing to write about one day, it probably would mean I hadn't lived a life that day.

Living a life doesn't necessarily mean having to encounter an extraordinary or newsworthy event everyday. It doesn't mean you have to party everyday, go on a hot date, get yourself invited to events. It doesn't mean you have to be preoccupied with something different all the time.

You live a life everyday, if you live everyday with no yesterday nor tomorrow.

If you go about your daily routine on a very normal day - waking up, showering, dressing up, driving to work, working, emailing, lunching, dining, walking, driving home, lounging, going to bed - and you think nothing much of the day because it was exactly the same as you've experienced the day before and it's probably going to be the same experience tomorrow, then you're not living a life.

You live a life everyday, if you really open your eyes and look around your same surroundings everyday.

Nothing stays the same. Nobody dresses the same, says the same things, or even eats the same stuff for lunch. I sit at cafes almost everyday, sometimes the same cafes, and I see different things around me all the time. Even the trees don't stay the same.

You live a life everyday, if you truly perceive every simplest thing, even the tiniest matter, to have a life on its own.

If you truly subscribe to that, everything starts evoking some sense of thinking in you, and you start to understand how truly unique every moment is.

In other words, you live a life everyday when your heart is alive every moment.


I am supposing now that's how my love for the man has been kept alive everyday for the past six years. You see the same man in front of you but look at him in a new, different way everyday. He does the same things, you both do the same things everyday, but everyday is never the same because you speak different things, you laugh at different things, you fight over different things. Sure, love goes through its cycle of ups and downs, but in the end, nothing really matters if you look at the big picture and sieve out matters that really don't matter.

You look at the man everyday, and every single sight evokes love in your heart.

You love the man everyday in a refreshed way - like he's your newfound love everyday. He may make you so upset tomorrow, but why care about tomorrow when you only have today right now?

Like I always tell myself, the man I'll marry and grow old with, will be the man I want to wake up to and kiss every morning, no matter what happened the day before.

It is never a chore if your heart doesn't think it is.


That was how I had lived my life. I don't want to be told I was foolish or that I believed in the wrong things.

I don't think the thing that went wrong was me.

If this whole thing was wrong, it's probably because I had loved the wrong person.


I don't think I'd ever run out of things to write about (well, unless I'm lazy to). This thing is keeping my mind and heart alive everyday. I like psychoanalyzing myself.

The day I stop writing would be the day my heart dies, the day my heart becomes detached from my physical being.

Just like how two lovers have nothing to say to each other when they start living separate lives.