Bits and Pieces

It's a day off work for me. And I'm back here sitting at my favorite cafe at East Coast.

Even though I knew the rain would come.

I haven't done this - sitting alone, having quiet drinks, enjoying quiet lone time - in a long, long time.

I miss this.


I am like so caught in the rain now lor.


Someone I barely knew for weeks told me, I am "confused, lost and weak. Troubled too. But independent."

I don't quite get the last part of it. So, I've been thinking about it for days.

And no, I didn't think you were judging. I am just impressed you would actually know - without even knowing me.


Sometimes, I wish I hadn't met you.

Things probably wouldn't have been so tough for me then.


I so need to get a bloody new phone. I just can't decide which - the Atom or just a cheapo one.

That, and whether I would be staying or leaving anyway.


I'm writing in bits and pieces, because that's how my mind is right now.

Bits and pieces.

I can't even decide what to think through - first. The past? The present? Or, the future?

I can't even think in wholes.

And then, things come in and mess up your life further.


I think I'm in a thinking stage now.

Don't think I have much more to say till I'm really through with it.


I do have options in front of me now.

I just don't have the guts to choose anymore.


People walk in and out of your life. All the time.

Some walk in, hang around, and just decide to walk out after a long, long time.

Some walk in, disappear and then just happily reappear after donkey years, like nothing had happened.

Some, they just come and go in a snap of your fingers. In a matter of weeks.

All make a dent in your life - sometimes it's a smile that stays, other times it's a hole that remains as well. A hell-hole.

What's this? My life's a convenience store for all?

A 7-Eleven that goes 'ding-dong' everytime someone walks in or out? It's no wonder I am going ding-dong.

I oughta get a security pass for my life. I should have some sort of security clearance in place, shouldn't I?


With all these confusing activities of people entering and exiting, you just don't know who to hang on to anymore.

You just can't tell who would be a stayer, who a trepasser, and who a bypasser.

You'll never know when they will leave.


I don't know what day it is today.