Being Yourself

Today... is such a fucking hot day.

So hot, I wonder why I am out here and not snoozing at home. Ah well, at least I am doing something mentally constructive and not rotting away, being tormented by more bad dreams.


I see a black poodle.

And the first thing that bothers me: does the poor fella feel hotter than, say, a white poodle under this sweltering heat?

Poor thing. He didn't exactly have a choice, being born the color he is, did he?

*****

I simply love all these wacky conversations with buddies, though I usually end up looking like a silly nut, laughing to myself in front of the notebook at the otherwise quiet cafe.


秦皇陵 says:
sigh. one of the depressing things about me being in this "circle" is that everybody i mix with seems to be an idiot. it's really tough for someone as atas as me.

ME Inc. says:
yes... i was kinda worried for your IQ

ME Inc. says:
if it would slip

ME Inc. says:
becos of the 'industry' you're in...

ME Inc. says:
like some job hazard thing...

ME Inc. says:
could u sue, if u really did?

秦皇陵 says:
yes, i am very very worried.

秦皇陵 says:
i feel rather stupid nowadays.

ME Inc. says:
so... just try to read much more at night these days lor

ME Inc. says:
once in a while, talk to me...

ME Inc. says:
hahaha

秦皇陵 says:
haha... yes, that is a good idea.

秦皇陵 says:
i recently scored 100% in the xxx course exam and everybody was so fucking impressed. i just wanted to scream "that because all of you are SO STUPID"

ME Inc. says:
hahahahhahaa

*****

News of me going to Taipei to look for a certain someone is spreading. Shit.

Now, pride is at stake.

I asked a silly question, just for the heck of it: Do you think I got competition?

Friend: Honey, I don't think you are competition.

Fuck.


Got a little too tipsy last night, in the company of a guy much younger than I was.

I know, I am weird. There I have friends telling me, "You know, I really think you should be going out with a much older man. You need someone stable to take your crazy dreams." And I go out drinking with guys more like my younger brothers.

I don't need anyone stable to 'take' my crazy dreams - I just need someone to share and live my crazy dreams.


"I think you're like fucking attractive lah. Most men will be intimidated by a woman who out-swears, out-drinks and out-laughs them. But I know you're just being yourself lah."

Yes, honey, you haven't yet seen me belch and burp and complain about an urgent tummyache while I'm driving in my car.

But I like that statement: out-swears, out-drinks and out-laughs.

Very original. Just befitting for the Original Fatmama. =)