Senseless

Yahoo!'d tonight.

h*******: chabor
d******c***: yes dear HI
d******c***: tomorrow go zouk lah
h*******: mambo?
h*******: gian leh
h*******: but was planning to ask u go next week instead
d******c***: uhuh
d******c***: i've been gg every week
h*******: mambo
h*******: yay
h*******: i like
h*******: i have no more mambo frens
h*******: haha
d******c***: its ok, you have me can liao
d******c***: you will have me until I have babies
h*******: then wat happens after the babies?
h*******: u dun need babysitter meh?
d******c***: will still party but less freely thats why now, steady steady tear all house down
h*******: ok ons... this week next week ah
h*******: i cannot believe this... two lao gohs so gian go mambo
d******c***: why got lao?
d******c***: you got picked up by some 20 year old hot bloodies Italiano!
h*******: lao is lao lah... admit it, dear.
h*******: gtg liao
h*******: see u tmr
d******c***: okie

Yay. I am really happy.

Not quite in the mood to party mid-week, but somehow, I am feeling a compelling need to relive some good ol' nostalgia.

Mambo's not exactly it, the nostalgia I'm talking about. Then again, it's the closest I'll ever get right now.

*****

Come to think about it, my LOHAMs are indeed getting a little out-of-whack these days.

Like they're acting so totally unlike themselves, especially the most unlikely ones.

It's like they're suddenly realizing there's no better time to have fun than now, still in our twenties. It's like they're trying to make the most out of their final year as twentysomethings.

And it's making me a little concerned - and amused, all at the same time.


The one nicknamed 'Dino' - the 'good-est' one in the gang, never to party, seldom touching drink, married for years by now, the most mentally-uncontaminated one - shocked the 'ell outta me when she invited us to join her at MOS this Thursday.

Mind you, she wasn't asking if we had wanted to go. She said matter-of-factly she was going, and asked if we had wanted to join her.

!!!


The other one, probably the next 'good-est' one after Dino, not exactly a party girl, a little less mentally-uncontaminated but still quite so, has been starting to drink a little socially these days - which is, hey, absolutely fine by me. =)

But the day she asked me over MSN about the boy she saw me talking to on the courts the other night, I got a little amused. The boy - "your friend, the young boy... quite cute one...". =)

There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, girl. By all means. =))


If anything, she made me feel less guilty about some stuff. That I am not the only one.

That I'm not that weird after all.

*****

I think it's pretty clear to me now a wall has been built around my heart. A wall smeared with cynicism, depression and, like someone says, "angst".

Whether it's a good thing or a bad one, I suppose, would really depend on how far the wall reaches out to.

How far I would allow it to reach out to.

And how strong the wall really is.

At this moment, I can't really tell.

*****

"... I hope you're the sensible one..."

Because I really am not.