"You're losing it"

To have someone actually agree and think you're 'losing it' is such a big relief.

For once, I am actually happy someone finally tells it to my face that I am going crazy.

So you see, I am not acting nuts. I am going nuts.


My Shanghai babe came back for a home visit, and we caught up over drinks last night.

A last-minute plan, but a well-made one.

We were catching up on so much. Rather, it was more of me grouching to her about my unhappiness in life, at work, and at home. My confusion in life. My deadlock at work. My lack of privacy at home.

I wanted to move.

She thought I didn't really need to.


I received a message during lunch today - a message that caught me by pleasant surprise.

Shanghai babe: I suddenly think you shld leave for the sake of your sanity

Me: Eh?! Where did that come from?

Shanghai babe: i may be mistaken, but i think you're losing it

Me: Why? What clicked?

Shanghai babe: Hmmm jus a general feeling

Me: Great. I like your honesty.

And big thanks for still thinking about me after last night.

Most of all, thanks for seeing things from my perspective.


*****

I have no more privacy at home.

I used to stay out late because I dreaded facing my room alone at night, staring at things that reminded me of everything.

Now, I stay out late because I have no private life, even in my own room.

I dread the questioning. I hate the grouching. I dislike that my room has become open-to-all.

I couldn't even take a Saturday nap in peace. I can't even change in my own room.

I don't understand why this is happening to me.

I don't. At all.