Woman

Women are expensive creatures indeed.

And I'm not even barely half the woman I'm supposed to be.


I don't do colors in my hair because I hate to think I'd have to 'touch up' on the colors periodically and spend more money. It's just going to be a neverending cycle. I yearn to have wild-colored hair, though. But the thought of having to maintain it is putting me off the idea for the moment. I'd be too lazy - and stingy - to.

I don't do my nails because they are too short anyway. I do hope though that I learn to manage stress in some other way than chipping off my nails.

I'm only just beginning to take skincare more seriously, and though I've signed up for a seven-session facial treatment, I've only attended one so far - and that was like almost two months ago. I'm just trying to stretch my dollar a longer mile. I know I'm going to get reprimanded from the therapist when I return for my second appointment - and I haven't even booked the session yet.

I have only a couple of 'wedding' dresses and cocktail heels in my wardrobe. And let's see... they take up only like 1 percent of my wardrobe space. My rationale, I don't get to wear them very often anyway, so why not just spend the money on stuff I'd wear anyday, everyday?

I love skirts, believe it or not, but I only own a few because I fear I would not fancy them anymore three years down the road. I always pride myself on buying never-out-of-style stuff and still wearing them five years later. Except that now I'm finding a little difficulty in wearing five-year-old stuff cos I've... er, 'undergrown' most of them.

I have a couple pair of pants and a few more no-fail chinos in my wardrobe but I wear my jeans and camo-skirt almost every other day.

My shoe shelves don't hold anything more than five pairs of 'girly' shoes - you can't even spot them amidst all the Nikes and flip-flops. I'd love to own a pair of Marc Jacobs but why should I when I only want to slack around in my Birkies?

I don't own a Gucci nor a Ferragamo, though I fantasize toting around a Miu Miu or a Kate Spade or, at least, a Coach. I carry my good ol' Gap tote every single day, everywhere I go.

I haven't bought myself any good piece of jewelry ever since I've started earning my own moolah. The diamond ring I'm wearing was a twenty-first birthday gift from Pa (yes, you'd better believe it) and the pearls I'm wearing on my earlobes now are made out of an old pearl necklace my mom has gotten sick of. My table is full of cheapo dress jewelry though, including that US$1 green plastic ring some people mistook for some stone.


I am a woman though who chalks up parking fines and traffic offences more often than she rings up beauty points from the cosmetics counters.

I'm a woman who spends more money fixing up her car and her arsenal of tech gadgets than her pretty little collection of pearls and diamonds.

I'm a woman who spends more than a hundred bucks on her dogs' haircut once every two months but complains about the forty dollar haircut she yields to every three or sometimes six months.

I'm a woman who would willlingly spend on beer that she chugs down in a night but not on 'miracle' creams and lotions that might take a couple of years off her face.


I don't know what came over me these days though. Maybe it's the realization that I'm nearing the big three-0 but I'm really really nowhere near anything.

Somehow, I feel like I need change - everywhere and everything about myself.

And I suppose, if I can't change the way I think or feel, the seemingly easiest way of change would be in the way I look.

I know it sounds all so superficial, but I'm not really changing who I really am - am I?

Who knows. One day, you might see me in bright red lipstick and three-inch heels. The thought is already sounding very ridiculously hilarious even to me now.

Maybe cos I'm thinking of Gwen Stefani right now, that's why. Ha.


Change. I need change in what I do too.

I am hating my work more and more these days.

I'm feeling less and less satisfied.