Pseudo-mom

I just received a devastating phonecall.

Mac is going to the vet tomorrow. For the inevitable.

I just suddenly feel like crying out loud here in Holland V.

I will be there for you tomorrow, babe.


*****

It's tiring being a mom.

Lunch took us almost two hours. Feeding is a slow and painful process. I have to cut up the food, wait for the food to cool, feed him piece by piece, coax him into eating when he keeps wanting to drink. Good thing this is a good kid. What if he were some monster?

Then there's the post-meal clean-up. Towelling him to remove the grime on his face... and hands. Yes, kids like puting their hands all over the table when they don't have to feed themselves. And then, checking on his pee/poo status. Finally, the diaper changing.

Shopping is a slow and sleepy activity - especially when we're out under the sun. Walking a kid with tired legs and wandering eyes is a totally different pace from walking my two crazy deprived dogs. No, correction: it felt like I was more like dragging him than walking him. It took us almost ten minutes to walk from the traffic junction at Taka to Borders.

Shopping is also a terror when I have to be rummaging through the racks and keeping an eye on him at the same time. Again, I'm thankful I don't have a monster for a nephew.

Shopping is also very physically exhausting when I have to lug a big bag full of extra clothes, bottles, milk powder, diapers and what not - and then carry the kid in my arms when he is too tired to walk on his own. Then as if this ain't tough enough, try maneuvering your way when the balloon he's holding keeps getting in your view too.

Driving is oddly slow and careful for me today. No sudden turns, just steady speeds. My left arm is perpetually placed upon his tiny body - to buffer any sudden jerks. And when he speaks, I have to turn to him to acknowledge. Good thing I'm a good driver.

I only have this to say after our little afternoon adventure: I'm pretty amazingly patient with the kid.

I thought I could stay out the entire afternoon before heading to dinner.

I couldn't. I had to put him back home in bed for his afternoon nap. Gu-gu needs a rest too.

It's tiring being a mom.

But I'm not complaining. =)