Of Villages and Parties

People I meet have been offering me their condolences.

No, don't get me wrong. I haven't been going around telling people my granny has passed away. But sometimes, there's just this need to explain situations. Urgh, I hate it.

Anyways, to these people, I have just been going, "Nah, don't worry about it. We are all ok."

And it's not a big fat lie.


The funeral has been a... erm, cheery occasion.

Not only has no one shed a tear, we are all cracking jokes with guffaws right in front of the coffin. My uncle is a real joker.

We all felt bad for a while - what would the next room of grieving folks think of this dysfunctional family?

Until Mom said, why shouldn't we be happy? Ah Por has led a good life for more than 80 years. She'd be happy to see us all happy together as a family.

Then the laughters started again.

And yes, dysfunctional we are indeed.

When the priest asked us for some names in the family for some prayer chants, we all went like, "Uh... don't know."

Ha.

My maternal family is just wrought with too many dramatic events. Mine included.

One day, when I have the inspiration, perhaps I should write a story or even a movie - a la those HK drama serials.

Now I know. Drama depicts real life.


*****

The words 'old folks home' always seem to bring with it some negative connotations.

Heartlessness. Lack of filial piety. Selfishness.

Sometimes it is true. But other times, I realize, some situations just can't be helped.


I have always had this majestic plan in my mind.

I have always imagined building an old folks village when I'm old.

See, this ain't no old folks dumping ground. This is a haven where old folks would want to stay - all on their own accord.

No nurses here to fuss over us. We take care of each other. And in fact, I think I'm going to do a screening interview for whoever wants to stay in the village. Yeah, you gotta fill in an application form and pray hard for your tests.

You pay a sum of money every month, very much like rent payment, and you get a 'single' room to stay. A neat little room with a bed. Right next to all other happy old folks.

No private bathrooms, because you'd never know when you're gonna slip and fall. But the common bathroom will be a luxury. Maybe a steam bath as well, though your skin would already have been too wrinkled by then.

Right outside the living quarters, there will be nice garden with a pond. If you've green hands, by all means, grow all the plants you want. If you're a fish person who's been dying to own a pond full of big fat fish, there you go.

Then, we will have cafes, bookshops, mahjong rooms, karaoke rooms - anything that entertains you, you have it right there in the village.

Maybe a mini-mart. And yes, of course a canteen. No old folk is going to have to do marketing and cook.

And one thing for sure, we will have a pub there, run in-house by the old folks, spinning all the songs we all love now (oldies by then) and serving all the beers and stout we like. Wine and hard liquor - yes, I'm not leaving them out.

Dancing will be very much encouraged.

Pets are allowed. And so are your little grandkids.

I'm not too sure about medical and dental services, though. I haven't thought real hard about that one.

Oh, and finally, if I could find the right location, I could even have a mini golf course at the village.

If I have that last one, I'm pretty sure my village will be overbooked. =)


Do all these sound a tad familiar to you?

If it does, you've probably stayed in a hostel before in your uni days - just like I did. =)


An old folks village.

The more I think of it, the more I see it coming true.

Perhaps that shall be my last dream to fulfill on this earth before I die.


*****

Just like how I'm imagining my own wedding, I've also been thinking and decided how I want my own funeral to be like.

No tears. Just lots of laughter.

Oh of course, please do cry when I'm on my death bed. That is, if anyone wants to.

But when all is done and I'm lying in my coffin, it'll be a whole different affair.

I want music. My favorite songs played throughout my funeral. Maybe I should start compiling them and burning them onto some CD.

And if people want to dance, please do. But no jam-and-hop ok. I think all my old lady pals will have too creaky bones to withstand that sort of music.

I want everyone to wear my favorite colors - green or blue. No blacks. Blacks are saved for wedding dinners.

I want people to feel free to bring their little kids and dogs. I don't know who my dog will be then, but I'm sure my dog will need some companions and condolences during my funeral too.

I don't want no chrysanthemum tea or groundnuts to be served during my funeral. Bring on the beer and the chicken wings!

And then, there will be this whole list of favorite stuff that I want to be thrown into my coffin. My little pillows, for sure. If they could hold up against the years, like I would have.

My favorite pictures of Tommy, Piper and Gracie. So that I could recognize and reunite with them up in heaven.

Ahhh...

Yes, this is how it will be.

It is my funeral. And if I want it to be a party, so it shall be. =)