May

I had pale green stool (something I've never seen coming out of me before) this morning, and I just had soft wet stool. I think I'm gonna fall sick.

The medication is finally taking effect - hopefully - and my skin seems much better. But my psoriasis is back, which means I must be stressed again. Aren't I?


It's six Friday evening, and I'm back at Charles' place, waiting alone for his brother Mark to pick me up. We're going to a barbeque tonight - the mention of the word 'barbeque' just made my stomach churn - hosted by Charles' future in-laws. Wow, I hope I'll have a good time; it just feels kinda strange for me. I think I'll be introduced to the other family as 'May' - again.

Maybe I should just christen myself 'May', just for convenience's sake. Nobody's going to understand the name 'Mei'; they won't know why 'Mei' and what it means, and they're just gonna think it's 'May' anyway.

It's funny and sweet how my whole big family calls me 'Mei' - as in 'little sister' - since the very day I was born. From the oldest (my grandparents) to the youngest (little cousins who call me 'Ah Mei Jie Jie' which is quite contradictory by the way), nobody has ever referred to me by my real name. I kinda suspect they've even forgotten what my real name is.

So it's only natural that when my two Canadian cousins were 'first' introduced to me four years ago (they visited their Singaporean relatives for the very first time in their lives after being born and growing up in Vancouver), they know me as only 'Mei'. Or 'May'.

May. So sweet, but it's so not me. I'm born in October anyway.

But then again, May has been a month I'll never forget. The name does have a special meaning to me, after all.


Why don't you take another little piece of my heart?
Why don't you take it, and break it, and tear it all apart?
All I do is give, and all you do is take.
Baby, why don't you give me a brand new start?
So let me live, let me live.
Let Me Live, Queen