Peaceful

The two-hour delay out of Honks, together with the stubborn refusal of the mind to go into deep sleep, would have sufficed to make me a real grouch by now.

Who ever said one can sleep better in the business cabin?

Add on to that the missed connection to Boston, the perpetual hunger over the last twenty-four hours, the desperate craving for hot Asian soup, and the throbbing ache in the tonsil.

I can so bite a cow now. But wait, I love cows. And I don't think I might fancy raw beef (though my newfound travelmate Hiro-san thinks I will love beef sashimi, if I claim to love Japanese food that much). I don't want to risk getting the mad cow disease either (have you heard of the Taiwanese lady who contracted the disease after she applied some cow placenta to her face, all for beauty's sake?).

So I think I want to bite a human instead. The world has got enough dumb and irritating two-legged creatures to spare me one. Disease-free, please.


I tend to think I'm anatomically flawed.

Why is it that I see everyone sleeping in peace on their fat huge seats, but I just can't lie there and fall asleep?

I eventually curled into a fetal position and fell asleep. But not for more than two hours, because the back started to scream "Ache!" and the legs yelled "Cramp!".


Strange enough though, I am sitting out here in the cold, half past midnight, and I am feeling rather peaceful.

I'm still hungry, but "no supper at night" is probably a sound advice.

I had gin and tonic to accompany me throughout the flight, and so that somewhat brought me back to a familiar place.

I watched two (yes, only two in all of fourteen hours) great movies, both of women and their struggles. They stirred my emotions, which I'm thankful for because it only reminds me I still have what I thought I had. And it reminds me I still believe in what I thought I used to believe. That great life-changing love perhaps does exist out there in the world, and that you don't have to go out to look for love. The great life-changing one comes to you. In ways most unexpected.

I took opportunity of the inability of the mind to rest, and the quietness of the cabin, to do some thinking. I thought, I remembered, I smiled, I made silent thanks. Most of all, I remembered me, and the incidents in my life that have brought me to where and who and what I am now. And so, I decided.

But most of all, I read. I should've done more reading over the past couple of weeks, but I was just too zombified most of the time. So I am rather grateful for the long flight, because I read again. And I am grateful because I should have read this long ago.

I have never felt I belonged. I have never felt understood. I have never felt anyone really knows what I say, what I think. Most of all, I have never felt anyone gives consent for the way I am, for the way I feel, for the way I want to be now. But I think I found a somewhat reflection in Elizabeth. We even 'talk' the same, heck.


The next ten days or so might not be so pleasant for me for now, but I am sure the days beyond will be fine.

It'll be fine. We'll all be fine.

I will be fine.

I just want to catch some real good sleep now.

*Paws crossed*