以毒攻毒

I needed pain therapy today.

After a morning of laundry, crappy-but-cooked-with-pride-nonetheless porridge, quite some ironing and other supposedly soul-calming household chores, I decided I was going crazy staying in and about to break down.

So then, I decided I needed pain.

Sometimes, it's more like a game to me. It's about how much further I could push my own threshold.

If I could actually feel the pain, then perhaps all else doesn't matter.


So, I picked up the phone and made an appointment with Mean Fingers Bobo.

I had no qualm booking ninety minutes with her today. Give me two hours, if you insist.

Though still pain-inducing, I felt a tad disappointed that it didn't bring me as much pain as it had a week before. And it didn't give me the pain I was so desperately looking for.

How could my tolerance have increased over a week? Or, was it just immunity?

Yes, I did wince at times, I did raise my arms in moments of reflex, but I also actually drifted into half-sleep because I was certain I thought I saw Ah Yue in the room with me.

Great. Pain-induced hallucinations. Just about what I needed most.


Meanwhile, MFB remembered me and, like what all other therapists would, said to me today, "Wa, le ge yok hou saat ah."

Hmm. I am pretty sure she didn't mean the saat in saat saat bo chio.

I think she basically said I am tough meat.

I do try to take it as a compliment though, since she followed up with a comment that most people train all they want but can never get my kind of 'tough meat'.

Whatever.


Since my intended pain therapy failed me, I decided I would go for round two.

A Thai restaurant that actually plays Thai soft rock. How cool is that?

Remembering also that I would be stuck with two weeks of cold salads and sandwiches, I decided there was no better time than now to spice my life. With porkless yum woon sen with lots and lots and lots of Thai chili padi.

It was a terrible experience.

Breaking out in sweat from within, yet shivering on the outside from the coldness of the restaurant.

I almost wanted to puke. So I decided to numb myself further by chomping down the generous serves of chili padi.

And now I have a complaining tummy to deal with.


So nothing worked.

But I am glad I got out of the house.

The song on repeat mode would have killed me sooner or later.