Bleah Friday

Today was such a s-l-o-o-oooo-w day at work. And it's weird and dumb because it's Friday! I'm supposed to be happy at work on Fridays! I used to be happiest at work on Fridays. Fridays are supposed to be the 'quickest-day-of-the-week' because you don't care what happens at work since there's no point rushing for anything and everything else can wait over the weekend. My friend Ed is also most pleased on Fridays because I'm not so grumpy and I don't torment him as much with my sharp tongue on Fridays. Well, he's most concerned because he sits right across from me and is my favorite target whenever I feel a need to shoot my mouth off.

And it's especially weirder today because my Boss was off for the good second half of the day, and that should rightfully translate to ease-of-tension and an even quicker Friday afternoon. But nooo... my eyes were droopy the entire day and I felt like I would just die anytime if I didn't find a corner to nap in. But of course, I didn't.

For the most part of the day, my mind was blank as well. I knew there was something nibbling at me but I just didn't have the energy to even worry about it. Perhaps I know at least one thing that's brewing up the worry wart in me today. It's a monthly thing, in fact. No, not that womanly thing. It's the 'time-to-pay-bills' thing. Every middle of the month, I tend to lapse into this two-day pensive mood as I figure out my expenses and finances.

Really, I just don't understand where my money goes to when I don't seem to be spending a lot of money. I'm not one of them many girls who shop excessively. I don't even need to shop in an ordinary month (in 'extra'-ordinary months, when I do need to get something for myself, I do admit I don't care how much I would spend on that something). I do yearn to buy more clothes and shoes but I don't because I don't think I should when I already have a wardrobe that's almost bursting out. See? I am sensible.

I've been trying to figure out the channels through which my money is quietly flowing out.

My eating habits with the man. Honestly, we did our quick calculations and we realized, to our own horror, that we do spend a lot of our money on food - even though we don't patronize fancy restaurants at all. The 'most fancy' restaurant we both love and (used to) frequent is... Sakae Sushi (and only at Wheelock Place). Low-life? Maybe but we just dig the sushi and on days we feel like indulging ourselves a little more, we treat ourselves each to an ice-cold Sapporo. Mmm mmmm... But more than these Sakae treats, our daily hawker fares and our little snacks here and there at anytime of the day can be the most damaging to our wallets. We are not by any means one of those little couples who would just sit down at the table and be contented with having each a bowl of noodles or a plate of rice. Nooo... we would order plates after plates of dishes to 'share'. One meal together would cost us five individual meals by ourselves. Horrible, aint' it? Oh, and did I forget to mention we used to love our Ben & Jerry's? And me and my Starbucks? We've already been cutting these out, but obviously we're still not good enough at this.

My car. Yes, my beautiful four-wheels, who ferry me to/from work and to all the many places I just have to go to, who drives my girls to the beach for their swims, who allows me to pick up the man conveniently, who runs all my nitty-gritty errands together with me, whom I simply adore to the core. Some call it a necessary evil, I call it my life-saver. Some thought it was a little too high-maintenance for my comfort, I thought I could handle it. Yes, handling it I am, and barely surviving. *sigh*

My gadgets. Luxury items that I could've done without? No way. I can't live without my camera, my Macmac, my PDA now. Life would've been so different if I hadn't had these possessions. I would never have discovered my interest in photography. I would not have been able to keep in constant contact with long-time-no-see-friends. I wouldn't have been able to explore my interests in writing. I would've been quite dead.

My only regrets? I wished I hadn't spent all that kind of money on those shoes and bags that I rarely use now. Maybe then, I would have been able to afford a nice watch for the man, or surprise him with a short trip, or maybe get that long-coveted Kate Spade or Coach, and that 'miraculous' face cream that might remove the awful pimple scars on my face.

Ok I'll feel better about this tomorrow, or maybe the day after tomorrow, after I've figured this month's bills out.

In the meantime, I'm still feeling sluggish, though it's now already Friday night. I think I miss the man. And a lot too. Though he's just been gone today... and will be back tomorrow. But it's just that it's Friday night, and I feel especially lonely without him. I hardly spend any Friday nights without him. I'm sitting at the cafe writing this (alone yes), and I'm seeing many couples around me, which depresses me. And this is only the beginning of his career. Gawd, I'm so lifeless!

If the man calls me now, I would surely tell him how much I miss him.

There are a lot of ang mohs at the cafe tonight, quite unusual to me. Families, kids, middle-aged folks hanging out together. I feel like I'm on one of my business trips alone in some foreign place.

*There's this ang moh man who's sitting right across me and staring at me from time to time, and freaking me out a little. I would've been very flattered, thank you very much, if he were much younger, much blonder and much much cuter.*

I haven't had dinner yet because I think I'm waiting for my friend Missy Tan, and I think the lack of food in my stomach is not making me think right. I hate having dinners alone, and so I have to wait till her training ends at 10 before I get myself a dinner buddy tonight. I hope she manages to get me because the cell network at this cafe is so bloody crappy. I'm blaming it on the 3G network that I've newly acquired.

And I'm determined not to go for any drinks tonight, though I'm craving desparately for a Hoegarden. No, beer is strictly not budgeted for in my life right now. I will wait for Miss Tan and maybe just settle for a kopi-o with her.

I miss you sweetie.