There is a story behind each and every wrinkle and laugh line.
If she has nothing to complain about thus far, then who am I to worry and lament about my life?
But I know too.
I may not be old, but I am not exactly young either.
One of the worst mistakes in life, you just have to keep reminding yourself, is probably to become complacent, stop living, and then finally lose yourself totally.
Best of all is the fact that my heart still skips a beat when I see my college sweetheart, to whom I have been happily married for more than 55 years.
So true great love does exist.
Monday, July 31, 2006
AAA... and not a battery
"I got one boob bigger than the other, so I'm rightfully an A/AA. =/"
"If I were you, I would just keep quiet about it. That makes you a triple A."
Oh shit.
I think I just told the whole world.
=/
"If I were you, I would just keep quiet about it. That makes you a triple A."
Oh shit.
I think I just told the whole world.
=/
Told Ya...
Ah... some things please me so.
For one, someone has guessed me correctly. Said I am a dog person.
And then, when prompted further, "I think you're a retriever kind of girl." Much to my sweet delight.
Sorry, Pipes. =/
For one, someone has guessed me correctly. Said I am a dog person.
And then, when prompted further, "I think you're a retriever kind of girl." Much to my sweet delight.
Sorry, Pipes. =/
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Hey, Mr. Tambourine
Ah, what a night.
What a long, long night - though it wasn't meant to be a smashed one. All I wanted was a quiet night with reds to chill out some blues.
I wasn't the smashed one, though I had tons of unwanted drinks, none of which I had to pay for. If there's one thing I learned last night, it's that sitting at the bar makes a heck lot of difference that I still can't figure out.
I was so not smashed, I could actually offer to send some of the folks back home - after they'd knocked off from work.
Which made my night longer because there I was hanging around with the guys in the lit-up pub, while they cleaned up the place, counted their till for the night, fooled around the DJ console, messing up his CD collections, kanina-ing this motherfucker that motherfucker.
They crooned to Bob Dylan. They danced to 'gay' Chicago songs. And then they showed off their WWE prowess, swearing to smash some motherfucker's head and watch it splatter. Uh... I can't really name that motherfucker.
And I just laughed. And laughed, and laughed. I was just all cracked up.
I love these guys. All untainted by the superficiality of life, yet wisened by the harshness of it all.
We are more tainted, less wise. Nothing much for us to be more proud of, is there?
By 5 in the morning, the sloshed one was sober enough to walk to my car. He who was sloshed had just been celebrating his last day at the pub with all the regulars who adored him to bits.
He who was sloshed last night has a big, bright future ahead of him. Congrats, you.
I was happy to have sent Jim and Jeremy from Eastside home last night.
I didn't do much for you guys. You guys made my day instead.
And thanks for "forgetting" to bill me for my reds. =]
*****
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
Though I know that evenin's empire has returned into sand,
Vanished from my hand,
Left me blindly here to stand but still not sleeping.
My weariness amazes me, I'm branded on my feet,
I have no one to meet
And the ancient empty street's too dead for dreaming.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
Take me on a trip upon your magic swirlin' ship,
My senses have been stripped, my hands can't feel to grip,
My toes too numb to step, wait only for my boot heels
To be wanderin'.
I'm ready to go anywhere, I'm ready for to fade
Into my own parade, cast your dancing spell my way,
I promise to go under it.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
Though you might hear laughin', spinnin', swingin' madly across the sun,
It's not aimed at anyone, it's just escapin' on the run
And but for the sky there are no fences facin'.
And if you hear vague traces of skippin' reels of rhyme
To your tambourine in time, it's just a ragged clown behind,
I wouldn't pay it any mind, it's just a shadow you're
Seein' that he's chasing.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
Then take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind,
Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves,
The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach,
Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow.
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free,
Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands,
With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves,
Let me forget about today until tomorrow.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
What a long, long night - though it wasn't meant to be a smashed one. All I wanted was a quiet night with reds to chill out some blues.
I wasn't the smashed one, though I had tons of unwanted drinks, none of which I had to pay for. If there's one thing I learned last night, it's that sitting at the bar makes a heck lot of difference that I still can't figure out.
I was so not smashed, I could actually offer to send some of the folks back home - after they'd knocked off from work.
Which made my night longer because there I was hanging around with the guys in the lit-up pub, while they cleaned up the place, counted their till for the night, fooled around the DJ console, messing up his CD collections, kanina-ing this motherfucker that motherfucker.
They crooned to Bob Dylan. They danced to 'gay' Chicago songs. And then they showed off their WWE prowess, swearing to smash some motherfucker's head and watch it splatter. Uh... I can't really name that motherfucker.
And I just laughed. And laughed, and laughed. I was just all cracked up.
I love these guys. All untainted by the superficiality of life, yet wisened by the harshness of it all.
We are more tainted, less wise. Nothing much for us to be more proud of, is there?
By 5 in the morning, the sloshed one was sober enough to walk to my car. He who was sloshed had just been celebrating his last day at the pub with all the regulars who adored him to bits.
He who was sloshed last night has a big, bright future ahead of him. Congrats, you.
I was happy to have sent Jim and Jeremy from Eastside home last night.
I didn't do much for you guys. You guys made my day instead.
And thanks for "forgetting" to bill me for my reds. =]
*****
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
Though I know that evenin's empire has returned into sand,
Vanished from my hand,
Left me blindly here to stand but still not sleeping.
My weariness amazes me, I'm branded on my feet,
I have no one to meet
And the ancient empty street's too dead for dreaming.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
Take me on a trip upon your magic swirlin' ship,
My senses have been stripped, my hands can't feel to grip,
My toes too numb to step, wait only for my boot heels
To be wanderin'.
I'm ready to go anywhere, I'm ready for to fade
Into my own parade, cast your dancing spell my way,
I promise to go under it.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
Though you might hear laughin', spinnin', swingin' madly across the sun,
It's not aimed at anyone, it's just escapin' on the run
And but for the sky there are no fences facin'.
And if you hear vague traces of skippin' reels of rhyme
To your tambourine in time, it's just a ragged clown behind,
I wouldn't pay it any mind, it's just a shadow you're
Seein' that he's chasing.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
Then take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind,
Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves,
The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach,
Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow.
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free,
Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands,
With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves,
Let me forget about today until tomorrow.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Checked
What a day... What a depressing day.
I have never had a woman order me to lie down in front of her, make me pull my shirt "all the way up", then feel me around my boobs.
I have never had to sit on the toilet bowl for a good half-hour, trying to force some shit out of me (literally). And even more so, I've never had to poop and then scoop. Yucks.
And I have never had a man who calls himself a gynaecologist, pry open and stick some cold metal shaft up my privates, and then move it all around. The timing of this happening to me couldn't have been worse - I've been feeling strangely horny these days.
But I've done it all today. And more.
And it took me all of three fucking hours.
I don't mean to provide graphic, grisly details.
But that's just exactly how emotionally traumatic, and mechanically inhuman, a full-body check can be.
Then again, maybe it's just me.
Well, now at least I have one worry less.
我的子宫果然没问题。
So now I only have my heart, my lungs, my liver and my kidneys to worry about.
Did I miss out anything else?
I have never had a woman order me to lie down in front of her, make me pull my shirt "all the way up", then feel me around my boobs.
I have never had to sit on the toilet bowl for a good half-hour, trying to force some shit out of me (literally). And even more so, I've never had to poop and then scoop. Yucks.
And I have never had a man who calls himself a gynaecologist, pry open and stick some cold metal shaft up my privates, and then move it all around. The timing of this happening to me couldn't have been worse - I've been feeling strangely horny these days.
But I've done it all today. And more.
And it took me all of three fucking hours.
I don't mean to provide graphic, grisly details.
But that's just exactly how emotionally traumatic, and mechanically inhuman, a full-body check can be.
Then again, maybe it's just me.
Well, now at least I have one worry less.
我的子宫果然没问题。
So now I only have my heart, my lungs, my liver and my kidneys to worry about.
Did I miss out anything else?
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Farewell
Ahm... I cried in the office today. When they gave me a farewell, and of course, the farewell gift.
C'mon. That was all I was waiting for. Haha.
A somewhat pretty wise man whom I respect a fair deal gave me two pieces of advice on the day we talked about my leaving.
Two pieces of advice that I find thankfully very valuable.
Says he, You have to know your own strength.
Then you have to ask yourself where and what you want to be ten years down the road. And then you make sure you get there with the strength you've recognized in yourself.
Do I then already know my own strength?
I have an inkling, which pretty much led to my throwing in the towel.
Whether I'm right or not, you and I will know sometime. Again, hopefully sooner than later.
I am liking it. The fact that my life henceforth is all in my own hands.
Whether I laugh or cry from today, only I dictate.
And I sure hope that I laugh more than I cry.
Wish me all the best. =)
C'mon. That was all I was waiting for. Haha.
A somewhat pretty wise man whom I respect a fair deal gave me two pieces of advice on the day we talked about my leaving.
Two pieces of advice that I find thankfully very valuable.
Says he, You have to know your own strength.
Then you have to ask yourself where and what you want to be ten years down the road. And then you make sure you get there with the strength you've recognized in yourself.
Do I then already know my own strength?
I have an inkling, which pretty much led to my throwing in the towel.
Whether I'm right or not, you and I will know sometime. Again, hopefully sooner than later.
I am liking it. The fact that my life henceforth is all in my own hands.
Whether I laugh or cry from today, only I dictate.
And I sure hope that I laugh more than I cry.
Wish me all the best. =)
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Bounced
It was quite some weekend.
I club-streeted, I winebarred, I o-barred, then I zouked. All on a Friday's night.
And then I crashed on Saturday.
That's not what a twenty-eight-going-to-twenty-nine-year-old ought to be doing, ought she?
Not especially when she has a life unknown ahead of her.
*****
I figured out the weird sadness that was growing inside of me. And that probably drove me to party like I hadn't partied in years on Friday.
I got a new toy.
One that came very timely, partly because the old one was really about to break down anytime. And partly because I received it just hours before the day signifying the "one-year anniversary".
As I jokingly put it across to some close friends who were celebrating my getting a new phone finally, it was just like a one-year anniversary gift.
"Thank you sweetie, for breaking up with me one year ago. Thank you for bestowing me the freedom I've been wanting."
Huh. =/
Ok. Cynicism kills.
I know it wasn't meant to be.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I probably hadn't thanked you enough that night.
Now, it's my turn. I owe you too much.
*****
No shit, I am going through a tough time. And in about ten days' time, it's going to be tougher.
Still, owing you too much shouldn't be the case. And it won't be, hopefully sooner than later.
I resolute.
*****
"Wherever we are, we are not alone. I can feed you for as long as you want me too. Just be focused in your dreams."
I think God heard my silent cries, and just sent an angel down my way minutes ago.
Despite what some other folks may think, I am not stupid. I am not crazy. I am not idealistic. And I am definitely not useless.
I just have dreams that have yet to be realized.
I will find them, and make them.
Do you? Will you?
I club-streeted, I winebarred, I o-barred, then I zouked. All on a Friday's night.
And then I crashed on Saturday.
That's not what a twenty-eight-going-to-twenty-nine-year-old ought to be doing, ought she?
Not especially when she has a life unknown ahead of her.
*****
I figured out the weird sadness that was growing inside of me. And that probably drove me to party like I hadn't partied in years on Friday.
I got a new toy.
One that came very timely, partly because the old one was really about to break down anytime. And partly because I received it just hours before the day signifying the "one-year anniversary".
As I jokingly put it across to some close friends who were celebrating my getting a new phone finally, it was just like a one-year anniversary gift.
"Thank you sweetie, for breaking up with me one year ago. Thank you for bestowing me the freedom I've been wanting."
Huh. =/
Ok. Cynicism kills.
I know it wasn't meant to be.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I probably hadn't thanked you enough that night.
Now, it's my turn. I owe you too much.
*****
No shit, I am going through a tough time. And in about ten days' time, it's going to be tougher.
Still, owing you too much shouldn't be the case. And it won't be, hopefully sooner than later.
I resolute.
*****
"Wherever we are, we are not alone. I can feed you for as long as you want me too. Just be focused in your dreams."
I think God heard my silent cries, and just sent an angel down my way minutes ago.
Despite what some other folks may think, I am not stupid. I am not crazy. I am not idealistic. And I am definitely not useless.
I just have dreams that have yet to be realized.
I will find them, and make them.
Do you? Will you?
Oops, I did it again...
"Did u quote me in your blog??"
Yes, Hanny.
And I just did again.
Pardon for the long silence.
Bouncing back sure ain't easy.
Yes, Hanny.
And I just did again.
Pardon for the long silence.
Bouncing back sure ain't easy.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
"Life is a zero-sum game..."
"... you win some, you lose some."
Yeah, maybe it's true.
Then in that case, all I can say is I'm glad I haven't seemed to have won much anyway.
Yeah, maybe it's true.
Then in that case, all I can say is I'm glad I haven't seemed to have won much anyway.
Fantasies
Salt says: did u really colour ur hair?
ME Inc. says: no haven't... i just went for audition.
Salt says: audition for? shampoo?
ME Inc. says: nope, some hair show
ME Inc. says: wah, become shampoo girl, shiok ah
ME Inc. says: instant national fame ah
TKK... as some of my nice friends might tell me, with a smack on the back of my shiny, lustrous head. =/
16...
Guilty as charged. I mambo'd again.
=/
And the countdown begins proper.
Sixteen more days to go before I bid everything here goodbye.
And sixteen more days for me to figure out my life beyond.
=/
And the countdown begins proper.
Sixteen more days to go before I bid everything here goodbye.
And sixteen more days for me to figure out my life beyond.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Ex-stomach
I was looking through my archives of photographs for some beach picture I could use for a presentation next week, when I came across this particular piece.
Look at that stomach (of mine). I want it back so bad, can die lor.
That was January of 2005.
My standard ain't sky-high.
I don't need to fashion myself after those skinny planks in the magazines.
I only want my washboard back.
Look at that stomach (of mine). I want it back so bad, can die lor.
That was January of 2005.
My standard ain't sky-high.
I don't need to fashion myself after those skinny planks in the magazines.
I only want my washboard back.
Good-Hair Day
"Wah, your hair texture is very good. I like. Can take color very well, and then still look so strong... Are you willing to color your hair?" So asked the stylist.
"Oh of course!"
"Bleach and everything?"
"Yeah, can lah."
"Are you willing to have your hair cut short?"
"Er... ...can lah, can lah."
Die. I don't know what I just said. All for four hundred bucks.
I have never been one to like my thick hair. Until I met my man Dean.
And now I also know.
Dean didn't lie to me.
She wrote down, in big caps, next to my name on the form, and I snuck a peek: "CAN USE!!!" =)
"Oh of course!"
"Bleach and everything?"
"Yeah, can lah."
"Are you willing to have your hair cut short?"
"Er... ...can lah, can lah."
Die. I don't know what I just said. All for four hundred bucks.
I have never been one to like my thick hair. Until I met my man Dean.
And now I also know.
Dean didn't lie to me.
She wrote down, in big caps, next to my name on the form, and I snuck a peek: "CAN USE!!!" =)
Bad-Hair Day
ME: I'm on half-day today.
ME: Let me know if you leaving office early today.
Pi: Today?
Pi: Why so relaxed?
ME: No lah... i got "audition" at 3.
Pi: Oh yah.
Pi: Your hair.
Pi: You got brush your hair this morning not?
ME: Wah lau. I condition like mad for the past two days lor.
Now gotta rely on my hair to earn me some pittance.
And my hair looks like shit today. =/
ME: Let me know if you leaving office early today.
Pi: Today?
Pi: Why so relaxed?
ME: No lah... i got "audition" at 3.
Pi: Oh yah.
Pi: Your hair.
Pi: You got brush your hair this morning not?
ME: Wah lau. I condition like mad for the past two days lor.
Now gotta rely on my hair to earn me some pittance.
And my hair looks like shit today. =/
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Monday, July 17, 2006
F'd
I've been up since 6.30 in the a.m..
I'm beat. Achy all over. And fucking pissed.
All it takes is just one bad to negate all the good that has happened in the day. Or, whatever good you've tried to make out of everything else.
I did a 10k. I got spotted for a 'hot bod' feature - which amused me to bits cos I still have remnants of the beer belly. I made it to Baby Marcus' first-month shower despite my desperate need to nap. And in the end, I managed to make training as well.
But I also got a sore left ankle. A limping right knee. A sprained right hand. And a body that is aching from the shoulders to the feet.
All of which I could have swallowed with pride. But it takes only one last bad of the day to convince me my life is as shitty as shit can get.
A car. A choking engine. A tow truck. And a bus ride home to a late dinner to feed the starving body.
Can someone please remove me from the bloody face of this earth?
Les: How was your 10k run?
Me: Ok. Didn't improve but it was good for me. I think I did 53 min.
Les: The day I do under 55 min I will throw a big party.
Me: Haha... throw one for me then.
Les: You have to do under 50 before you get one.
Me: Orh... standard not same... paisei ah.
=/ It was funny this morning. Now I'm just too numb to even fake a smile.
I know. I know one day my life will pick up.
I am just wondering how much lower it has to go now first.
Ok, this is a cheat. I was too stoned to even pull out my camera, much less smile for it.
This suffices.
Cute is cute.
Fuck. I am still hungry. But I think I should just retire.
I got a 'hot bod' to take care of now.
But more importantly, I gotta fucking wake up at 6 tomorrow morning, just so I can get a damn seat on the train ride to work.
=( x 1,000
I'm beat. Achy all over. And fucking pissed.
All it takes is just one bad to negate all the good that has happened in the day. Or, whatever good you've tried to make out of everything else.
I did a 10k. I got spotted for a 'hot bod' feature - which amused me to bits cos I still have remnants of the beer belly. I made it to Baby Marcus' first-month shower despite my desperate need to nap. And in the end, I managed to make training as well.
But I also got a sore left ankle. A limping right knee. A sprained right hand. And a body that is aching from the shoulders to the feet.
All of which I could have swallowed with pride. But it takes only one last bad of the day to convince me my life is as shitty as shit can get.
A car. A choking engine. A tow truck. And a bus ride home to a late dinner to feed the starving body.
Can someone please remove me from the bloody face of this earth?
Les: How was your 10k run?
Me: Ok. Didn't improve but it was good for me. I think I did 53 min.
Les: The day I do under 55 min I will throw a big party.
Me: Haha... throw one for me then.
Les: You have to do under 50 before you get one.
Me: Orh... standard not same... paisei ah.
=/ It was funny this morning. Now I'm just too numb to even fake a smile.
I know. I know one day my life will pick up.
I am just wondering how much lower it has to go now first.
Ok, this is a cheat. I was too stoned to even pull out my camera, much less smile for it.
This suffices.
Cute is cute.
Fuck. I am still hungry. But I think I should just retire.
I got a 'hot bod' to take care of now.
But more importantly, I gotta fucking wake up at 6 tomorrow morning, just so I can get a damn seat on the train ride to work.
=( x 1,000
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Danced
I am silly carbo-loading for a 10k race.
Ridiculous, no?
I'm ditching hops and barley but for fermented grapes.
See, I think I've mastered the beer. It's just time to move on to something more challenging. Wine and I have never been the best of friends.
Ok, ok. Since some of you insist, it's that damn beer belly too.
I confess. I am not in the best of moods.
How it triggered, I don't exactly know. Perhaps, it's the month of July.
I am upset by the fact that I'm upset about some things still. Which only upsets me even more.
It is perhaps really time for me to let it all go. Really.
Memories sometimes shouldn't worth this much.
I haven't danced like I did last night for a long while. I wish I could just go on and never have to stop.
There must be some reason why I ended up in Velvet again last night.
I bought more books than I can finish reading again.
Borders will be my bane.
"You're worth much more than this, babe."
I know.
But how much am I really worth?
Ridiculous, no?
I'm ditching hops and barley but for fermented grapes.
See, I think I've mastered the beer. It's just time to move on to something more challenging. Wine and I have never been the best of friends.
Ok, ok. Since some of you insist, it's that damn beer belly too.
I confess. I am not in the best of moods.
How it triggered, I don't exactly know. Perhaps, it's the month of July.
I am upset by the fact that I'm upset about some things still. Which only upsets me even more.
It is perhaps really time for me to let it all go. Really.
Memories sometimes shouldn't worth this much.
I haven't danced like I did last night for a long while. I wish I could just go on and never have to stop.
There must be some reason why I ended up in Velvet again last night.
I bought more books than I can finish reading again.
Borders will be my bane.
"You're worth much more than this, babe."
I know.
But how much am I really worth?
Friday, July 14, 2006
K'd
No points for guessing.
The pictures tell a thousand words what we've been up to last night. Finally.
Oh, and if you're into cigars and wine and great acoustic music, pop into The Connoisseur Divan at River Valley, every Tuesday and Thursday night.
Roy is smashing.
The pictures tell a thousand words what we've been up to last night. Finally.
Oh, and if you're into cigars and wine and great acoustic music, pop into The Connoisseur Divan at River Valley, every Tuesday and Thursday night.
Roy is smashing.
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