Ready

"Your PowerBook is ready for collection at the Apple Service Center" was simply the headline of an email I received last night.

Yippeee!! =)

Bye

Sometimes, I hate goodbyes.

It could be just for the night. Or it could be for a few days or weeks or months of going away.

Or, it could even be forever.

However long it is going to take to stay apart, when you just don't want to miss someone, you just can't help but miss someone the minute you bid your last goodbye.

Still, I am glad I had the chance to have dinner and say goodbye last night. It sure was sweet, but sometimes you just never know where the last goodbye you've said might lead you to.

It would be a few weeks before we would see each other again.

Our work is bringing us places... different places.


Bye bye.

You have fun and take good care of yourself.

Tomboy

I found out, I'm pretty good in written Hokkien, but not in the spoken language.

Eh?

A friend - let's just call him Ah Beng since I'm the designated Ah Lian between the two of us - and I have cultivated this rather stupid habit of communicating in Hokkien - over MSN.

It all started with a simple greeting:

Ah Beng: Oei!

Ah Lian: Simi taiji?

... and the ball started rolling from there.

We would communicate in complete Hokkien sentences. For instance:

Ah Beng: Le si Hokkien lang?

Ah Lian: Wa eh lao pei si Hokkien lang, lao bu si kong hu lang.

...

Ah Beng: Le eh Hokkien wei bei pai leh.

Ah Lian: Bor lah, wa eh hiao sia, bei hiao kong.

...


When Ah Beng met Ah Lian, he said, "You really sound like you can speak Hokkien very well like a Lian over MSN. Eh, speak leh."

I hesitated and resisted, but in the end, succumbed to pressure and spoke a mere few words.

Ah Beng said, "Wahlau... your Hokkien sounds really bad man. Stop it."

See, I told you. Wa eh hiao sia, bei hiao kong.


Some call me 'tomboy', some call me 'ah lian'.

Sometimes, I even call myself 'tomboy', and sometimes, 'ah lian' too.

It's not that I'm very proud of being described as such, but there's not much of a point trying to deny what I might actually be, is there?

There's no running away from who I am and how I wanna be, and let's face it, I can never be as demure as the girl-next-door, much as I think I want to be.

I can be wearing a full skirt, lipstick and pretty earrings, but I'll be hitching up my skirt and striding over big steps, I'll be wearing my Nikes and a trucker cap, and I'll be laughing out loud and heartily at things that tickle me ever slightly.

I'll never be able to walk in three-inch heels and giggle with my mouth closed.

In any case, I'd rather be a 'tomboy' than a 'gu niang'. Anytime.

Momma

It's play-momma day.

And I don't really feel like working too hard anyway.

So I took a half day off work. Brought my girls to the groomer's. Finally. Amy the groomer shook her head at me, and said, "I think let's just cut their hair short; I see that you don't have time to maintain them anyway."

Bleh.

Bad momma.


This laptop just can't make it. Barely half an hour of usage, and the battery is down to almost half-bar. Urgh.

I miss my pBook.


I know what I'm gonna do now.

I'm going shopping. For my big-day present for myself.

The online shopping deal is off - I don't think I want to rely on anyone for my own shopping pleasures.

I do hope the town is empty for me today.

Please

What the fuck was I thinking?

Can I please just wake my fucking idea up?

Some things are just not worth everything anymore.

Please. Just let me go.

I don't want to live in your shadows no more.

I don't want to be no spare tyre no more. After all this while, I think I deserve more than just that.

Big Day

Even my mom had to ask the same: "Don't you have to wear shoes to work?"

Er, no Mom. I don't think so, and I don't care. My birkies fit me just fine.


I finally caved in and surrendered my pBook for a thorough check-up.

What changed my mind?

The realization that I'd be travelling over the next few weeks of October. I can't bear the thought of leaving my pBook behind when I do.

I think I'm already suffering from a mild case of withdrawal syndrome.


Oh, and I remembered today what I'll be doing on my big day. I almost forgot. How could I?

I'll be travelling. But for work. Oh, how nice.

And where to? KL again.

For one night, and then I'll zip off to Bangkok for the weekend. Not for anything else, but work.

But I'll make darn sure I'll make time, lots of time, for massages. And good ol' tomyam goong.

I wish, though, I could get some company for that Bangkok weekend. Then, I'd just make believe it's a birthday trip for myself. Haha.

Sigh...


There's yet another party this Saturday.

But this time, it'd be a non-toxic one, for sure.

A little boy, who happens to be born on the same day as I but 27 years later, turns one next week but is celebrating his big day this weekend.

His mommy was very sweet to have asked, "So, I can add your name on the cake if you want to, you know." Haha... not funny.

There'll be little ones at the party that day; I'm hoping I can bring my little man along so he can make little friends. =)


My girls are tired out from the day's excitement. They're both lying dead as logs on the floor, not moving an inch even as I walk out of the room.

That's a good sign - no noisy fights tonight.

I had absentmindedly left some important stuff at home this morning, and had to drive all the way back home to pick them up even before I could barely switch on my computer in the office.

Of course, the girls went bonkers the minute I opened the door.

What's Mommy doing home at this hour?!

I grabbed my stuff, ran down to my car, and then realized I still had forgotten some other stuff. Up eight storeys I went again, and this time, the girls went wild.

Did Mommy forget us?!

Sorry, girls. Mommy must've made your little hearts pump a lot faster unnecessarily.


Mommy didn't forget you tonight, though. And neither did your Papa.

I brought the girls out to watch their Papa play ball again. Been a while since we did that together.

I think the girls had fun. And the way they launched themselves all over him as soon as they heard his whistle-call, I think they missed their Papa.

Well, so did Mommy.


I don't think I can do much reading tonight.

I'm tired from all the driving around today too.


No decision has yet been made.

But some things seem much clearer to me now.

Let's just see first how this month goes for us.

Maybe... just maybe, absence might just make the heart grow stronger, and less fonder.

Or maybe... I don't know.

What's Worth Knowing

Little Ciaran has this writing board for a toy at my place.

I picked up the pen and sat him next to me.

I wrote the first letter 'P', and he dutifully read it out loud: "Pee!"

Pleased with the progress, I went on to jot down the next few letters, and he read each one out loud as I wrote.

I spelt 'P-I-P-E-R'.

And at the end, right after he read the letter 'R', he said: "Per-per!"

My eyes grew wide and my mouth broke into a grin.

I couldn't believe my ears, so I wrote Piper's name over and over again all over the board.

And everytime, the same process repeated: the little man would read each alphabet as I wrote and then shout 'Per-per' when the name was spelt out.

I felt this strange bond between the boy and the dog. Strange but true.

Piper may not get to see his own little human sister or brother for a long time to come, but I suppose this little human cousin should suffice.


And speaking of the dog... bad Piper. Naughty bitch.

She peed on my bed. Grrr...

Now I have to sleep blanket-less tonight.


I am reading a new book titled "What's Worth Knowing".

I don't suppose most people would know of it, nor even bother to read it.

Captivated by the cover of the book, I picked it up and in less than five, I had paid for the book and left the store.

The book is all about some real-life old people, and the wise words they have to offer from their own years of hard living.

Things such as these touch me.


*****

Make your days worth remembering.

There're two kinds of people - the ones who live hard and the ones who take it easy. The hard livers are tough on themselves. They take chances. They never stay comfortable for too long. The easy livers play it safe. They never push themselves. One year runs into the next, because the years are all basically the same.

To the youngsters, I say, live hard. This is your one and only life, the only show in town. You can't get any of your days back. Live as if you're going to be old someday, looking back on everything you did. It's everything you didn't do that will bug the heck out of you.

- wise words from a certain 89-year-old Bill Milton

Answers

I haven't been Mrs East Coast Bean for a while. So here I am, people-watching at the beach, enjoying my skinny latte and the late afternoon sun.

I was home early last night, but I slept very late and so woke up very late in the, er, afternoon.

The little man was in my house today, and he woke me up when he climbed up onto my bed to play-fight with Per-per. So sweet.

HIs father wonders why his son has adopted this violent style of play with Piper, but I dare not suggest perhaps he has just been watching and then copying the way I play with my dog. Haha.

I didn't have time to do much today, so I thought I would just grab my pBook and hang out at the cafe before deciding on dinner plans.

No plans for dinner as yet. Probably I should just sit here till my battery runs out, then head home and have baby porridge instead. I like my mom's baby porridge.


Much as I'd like to lead a normal life and be happy, I have no clue what makes a normal life for me now.

My lifestyle has taken a sudden 180-degree turn, and while I'm always trying to find things to keep myself occupied with in hope that the loneliness has no chance to creep back, I am not quite sure if I am comfortable with the way I live my life now.

After drinking for weeks, I have kept myself sober this entire week, very much thanks to the business trip in KL. I feel fine but I feel lonely as well. The drinking provides me company that I would otherwise miss out on. Maybe soon, I'll be hitting the bottles again.

From being someone's supposed life-partner since the 'early formative' years of adulthood, I find myself suddenly being thrown back into singlehood. I don't know what to make of it and I can't seem to cope with it, though people around me say it is for the better. Is it really? Is being single really better for me now?

While friends were happily dating around and having fun in their early twenties, I was happily living a partnership with a man who seemed to love me to bits. Some were envious and wished they had someone to settle down with too, but now I wonder if I was, in the end, the disadvantaged one.

Now, friends are the ones who are done with their dating days and settling down with their Ones, but I am the one who is thrown back into the singles market that they have ditched.

I probably would have been fine if I were a few years younger, but after being non-single for so long, I don't know how to be one anymore.

How do I play this game?

I hate breaking up couple time and making friends hang out with me. I don't like people accommodating me neither.

I just want to be alone sometimes, but I don't really want to be alone too.

And then, there are these questions. Questions that will forever be plagueing my mind. Questions that will never go away.

Can I ever have a normal life where I will have no more questions to find answers for?

In the plans that I had once visualized, I would've been happily settled by now, and channeling my focus from now on making my dream doggy business come true.

Now, that dream has to be put on hold. For a while, I hope.

I can't get out of this awful detestable corporate world. Not for now. I haven't amassed my fortunes upon which my dream would be built.

"The only way to really earn and save a lot of money is to get out of here and work as an expatriate. The amount of money you can save in two years overseas is nothing you can earn if you continue working here."

So the questions now floating in my mind promise me a whole new different life yet bother me at the same time.

Should I stay? Or should I go?

Would anyone really care if I go?

What more is there to lose now, if it has already been lost?

I know I care. It's that hope I don't want to lose. But is that hope worth staying for?

That's the only answer I need to find for myself now. And the rest will follow.

Bittersweet

"... Wah, you're home so early tonight?"

Yes, on a Saturday night, yes. I was home early.


For all the money I've been spending on my car, I tried to make use of it to earn some quick bucks back, but instead, I ended up having to fork out more money on it today.

It started with me spotting yet another 447 on the road while I was driving.

Deciding I shouldn't let an omen pass me by a second time, I threw my hope (and money) into lottery again - a twelve-permutational hope of my 744.

Nothing struck today, but I still have one more day to hope upon tomorrow.

Something else struck again tonight, though.

The traffic police... who else? These hardworking folks work 24/7, at every corner of the island. And I had to run into them tonight.

My wholesome plan tonight was to have dinner with wholesome best friend Lyn and not-so-wholesome hubby at their club. The club was running some swim event, so the carpark was shut out to all guests. Looking at the long line of cars parked along the road right outside the club, I did the only right thing to do then - follow suit.

Lyn assured, "Should be ok lah, people always park outside anyway." And so I happily proceeded for dinner, drinks, football and pool.

Four hours later, I returned to my car only to find that white slip of paper again tucked nicely under my windscreen wiper.

I am not quite upset yet, because I still have that lottery ticket in my hand. All is not over yet.

God, please be nice and give me a sweet present, willya?

And please, please, please keep them traffic people away from me. Please.


I had my virgin game of darts this evening.

I like it. Maybe because it gives me a chance to throw a sharp object at something. With all my brute force.

I always know I have a violent streak buried somewhere deep inside of me.

In darts, all you really need is just focus. Lots of undivided focus. Just like in pool.

Just focus... focus... focus on someone's face right there on the dartboard exactly where you wanna hit... bullseye!

Oh, but I learnt too that bulleyes ain't no big deal. You gotta hit triple 20 to have a big deal.


And ManU(re) lost.

MAN-U'RE sucky.


*****

Lyn and Fat-ric.

My happy almost-perfect couple friends. I am so happy for them.

And most of all, I'm so happy for her. She has probably found the best man of her life.

I see the way they talk to each other (not the lovey-dovey kind mostly), the way they tease each other, the way they poke fun and laugh at each other, the way they bicker. The way they complement each other.

The way they fit just like a pair of gloves.

Everything I see just reminds me of... us. How I see them now is probably how others saw us then.

So, this is how bittersweet-ness tastes like.


Finding that one perfect mate, that made-for-you soulmate is the best thing that could ever happen to your life. That I know.

Losing it could also be the most devestating thing ever. That I know too.

I think I know, because I have probably been through it all.

Karaoke

There's going to be a "block party" right downstairs tonight. Right outside my window, eight storeys down.

And block parties here aren't like those in hall-days - cool music, booze, food, fun crappy people.

Block parties here = karaoke session + lots of screaming kids.

And karaoke in my neighborhood = Teresa Tseng + Fei Yuqing crooners.

Not many people are quite free for me tonight. But my plans to settle for a quiet home-alone night to watch all the football have also been thwarted by the block party.

I need to get out, and stay out till it's safe to come back home.


Speaking of parties... I wonder how my big day this year would turn out to be.

Not that I always have bashes, but I am not making any plans for anything either.

I just really wanted a quiet dinner with someone precious.

I don't want anything from anyone. Presents at this age don't really count for anything unless they mean something.

Though I'm trying to use this as an excuse to splurge on something for myself. Presents for myself mean something ok - it means I love myself. Haha.

What precious gift for myself, I haven't decided yet though.

Maybe I'll do myself a bigger favor if I would save that money in my bank account.

Hmm...

Mrs Bean

I found a new Bean to hang out in.

It's quite a drive away from home or work, and parking's always a big headache here.

But I like this place. And the folks here still don't recognize me yet.


I was like a mom bringing her child to the doctor - I brought my baby pBook in to the customer care center.

My baby pBook. Only barely six months old, and already showing signs of problems. But just like six months in dog years is equivalent to three years in human years, six months in tech years is probably equivalent to ten human years. Horrors.

The 'nurse' suggested I leave my pBook and send it in for a check-up. For a few days or even up to a week.

What?!?!

Just like a over-protective mom, I declined admitting my child into the hospital. What? Not touch my pBook for days? You gotta be nuts.

"I'll see how it goes at home. I'll bring in on Monday if it's cranky again."

And it is already showing signs of crankiness now again. =(


*****

Oh. My. Gawd.

Jay Chou is just like the kind of man I'd fall in love with. Or maybe it's Takumi.

The pai kia with a soft heart. That is just so me - sucker.

Well, c'mon people. Don't laugh so hard. It wasn't as if I would never have a chance with Jay. I just passed it up... unknowingly.

I met him once. Standing two feet away from me.

But the only problem standing in our way then was... I didn't even know he was Jay then. Fark me.

I won't really explain how he ended up appearing in my office, but the friend he was visiting grabbed hold of me while I was walking past, and asked, "So... how do you like my friend?"

A Chinese-pop-idiot then, I was simply stupefied. How would I like your friend if I didn't even know him? "Er... I don't even know your friend." And I just walked away, without even so much as taking a glance at her 'friend'.

Just walked away! Just like that!

Jay Chou must've been so embarrassed by me, he would never want to be my friend anyway.

I snubbed Jay. And I wish I hadn't. Haha.


My night ended with a birthday girl who got pissed and then a bunch of boring bankers and accountants (ok except for my friend banker Ed).

I think my social skills have suffered badly. I can't bring myself to socialize with people who don't interest me at all.

What's up with me, man?


*****

I have tried being a good friend. Talking, crapping, laughing.

Unwittingly, I think I have set myself up for useless hope.

I think it's time for me to make some life decisions again.

"I think you're good and you should move out of Singapore, if you really want to progress."

Should I?

What's stopping me? Maybe it's that hope.

London

I'm going to the Starlight Cinema after all! =)

Time to pull out my picnic mat and go supermarket shopping for a nice outdoor dinner.

I'd like to make some sandwiches, but I doubt I'd have the time after touching down only in the afternoon.

Somehow, I'm really excited about going for my virgin outdoor cinema experience.

Did I just hear someone say 'mountain tortoise'?

Shuddup, inner-me.


Let's see now if I'll get to watch Quidam too. =)


I've been up on my poor feet the whole day. Walking, walking and more walking.

I was so looking forward to making use of that big luring bathtub tonight, but I realized I hadn't had the sense to get some bathsalts at the malls today. Darn.

The short nap I took in the car after lunch made me even more grouchy and tired during the second half of the market visit. I just cannot cut it as a shopaholic.

Liar!

I was not supposed to spend money in KL, but I'm going home with new clothes and shoes.

Didn't mean to. Really. Perhaps the fact that I can't get Miss Selfridge back home spurred me on.

So, I'm not cut out to be a walker, but I am still an impulsive shopper. LOL.


I am beginning to fall in love with London fashion.

The quirky kind. That is so me.

I so wish now I could go shopping in London one day. Hopefully soon.

=)

Unwittingly

I think unwittingly I have been sliding a few notches back.

Which would nicely explain the feeling I have inside these days.

The feeling neither warms nor pains me. It's just like a matter of fact, something I just can't help.

But I think what feels worse than the feeling itself , is the fact that I cannot do anything about it. There's nothing I can do nor I should do. I'm known to myself for doing stupid things.

I've learnt it's sometimes better to rein myself in.

And pray hopefully soon this awful feeling will pass. Just like it did once, albeit for only a while.


*****

"I really miss you a lot... sometimes."

Did I just do something stupid?

Maybe. But I still believe some things should always be said while you're still alive to do so... and while you still don't feel the regrets doing so.

You'll never really know when your time is up.


And I really wish I had someone to hug me close... and never let go.

Forrest, Josh & Peter

Now I know why they say, "Oh! Josh Harnett is sooo cuuute!"

Because he really quite is.

I watched not one, but two movies tonight. Urgh. Darn all these movie channels.

I was just done spending almost three hours watching 'Forrest Gump' (for like the third time?) when I thought I should just turn to the sports channel and get some work done at the same time.

But I switched to the next channel and there he was - Josh Harnett.

I think it was 'Wicker Park', but I didn't really care what it was.


Now, I'm just trying to start on some work. Finally.

With 'Peter Pan' showing on HBO. =)

For What?

I was holed up in the hotel room the whole of last night.

Somebody made me really pissed yesterday. Hmph!


I was so lazy and so clueless where to go, I ended up ordering room service.

I was supposed to be doing work, but I ended up stoning and keeping my eyes glued on the TV. I really kinda like the shows they have on StarWorld now. Pretty eccentric... I mean, the shows but I suppose it applies to me as well.

I was supposed to be sleeping, but I ended up flipping the channel to StarMovies and watching 'Pirates of The Carribean' till 3 in the morning. I've been dying to watch this movie, but never found the chance nor time to. I am liking Johnny Depp more and more; he cracked me up.

I ended up falling asleep with the TV still on. I always do that in hotel rooms.


But really. The whole night, I was just simply waiting for someone to pop me a message.

For what, I really don't know.

Yoda

Boss-less

The Hilton in KL is perhaps like the coolest hotel I've ever stayed in.

Ok... maybe I take that back.

The Metropolitan in Bangkok was beautiful too, with a bathroom the size of maybe twice my bedroom. And I happen to have a weird thing for bathrooms in hotel rooms. Every shampoo, soap, towel was aromatherapeutic or organic. That's what you get for staying in a spa hotel.

The Sheraton in Phuket was quite cool too. The bathroom (again) was unique and cosy. The view from the balcony was awesome in the evenings.

Well, the Hilton KL is like... cool. It's like a dream bedroom come true. The bathroom... oh my gawd, the bathroom.

Pictures will follow later when I get hold of my digicam cable back at home.


Without my job, I suppose I would never have had the chance to stay in these posh places (nor eat in all those fancy restaurants).

I'm a cheapskate. Budget hotels (and cheap hawker food) work just fine for me. Well, at least, while I think I'm still young enough to handle shabbiness.


Oh yeah! The menu button on my toy is miraculously working again! And I have no idea what my miraculous fingers did. =)


I'm boss-less for this entire trip, though I'll have to entertain a visitor from Hong Kong from Wednesday till Friday.

I like the freedom. But also, I'm starting to feel this painful sense of loneliness.

Not just on this trip. But just plain lonely in my life.


I shouldn't have arrived at the airport so early in the afternoon, and I even thought I was running late.

I should've left the office even later, and then rushed from the check-in counter to the gate. Then I wouldn't have had time to loiter around the departure hall.

The airport somehow depresses me now.

The people in uniforms that walk in the halls with their nicely-coiffed buns upset me. So do these people who walk up and down the aisles serving coffee or tea or juices.

I even hate having to fly with these people. Good thing it wasn't my money that goes into their paychecks.


God, what is happening to me?

Why do I have all these evil hateful thoughts in my mind?

Why are you letting this empty feeling creep back into my life now?

Yeah, Right

Someone must've fed me some poisonous shit at the party last night. LOL.

Better not to think about it. I think I must have fun.


I had planned to go back to the office today.

But one, I woke up too late.

Two, I decided I was hungry when I woke, and thought I should grab someone for lunch before I headed back to work.

We ended up taking a two-hour late-lunch break.

A PDA-phone is what I am dying to own now. But I'm trying to talk myself out of it. I have a Palm already, and I should stop spending my money on gadgets. They are far too expensive toys for me.


The third reason why I didn't end up at work: the Man United-Liverpool match.

One phonecall, and I made a U-turn somewhere along the highway towards Brewerkz.

I'm good tonight, though. I couldn't even finish one glass of ale. Haha.


Man United makes my heart bleed.

There are just too many things around me associated with them Devils now.

And they couldn't even score one bledy goal tonight.

Sigh.


Am flying to KL tomorrow for a week.

The thought of staying in KL for five days kinda depresses me. And I have no idea why. LOL.

And I am also so ill-prepared for the trip. I really should've gone to the office today.

My chicks are now toying with the idea of popping by KL on Friday. Party time.

Should I?


*****

"Tmrw got appointment... Next week or smthg."

Yeah, right. As if.

Wireless-less

It is such a beautiful blue-sky day. I love it.

So beautiful, it is giving me mixed feelings. I'm happy to see blue skies, but I'm also a little irritated I'm perspiring like mad walking on the streets, driving in the car, sitting in the cafe. And I'm already wearing the lightest possible.

So beautiful, I'd have been even more elated if I were at the beach today with the girls. My bikinis are rotting and turning mouldy in my wardrobe. But then, this isn't a day for the beach; I have too many errands to run.

So beautiful, I should've been washing my car. But I am really too tired... and lazy to do so myself. So, I did what I have been resisting - I went to the car wash. It ain't that bad, actually. Six men hand-washing my car while I sat inside - it sure did feel good. Haha.

The car now looks brighter and shinier in ten minutes than it did under my two-hour washing. I think I know what to do in future.

Alternatively, I can counter-bargain with someone: wash my car instead, and I will give you lifts when you need one. Ha.


I forgot to pay my bills, and my cable and wireless services were cut off last night. LOL.

I got hell from Pa, but I found it harder to cope without logging on to the net.

The good thing was, I had nothing to distract me from rest, and I fell asleep immediately after a bath.

I am so addicted to the Internet. It felt so much like a major itch relieved when I got my Internet restored.


It was a busy Friday night.

I dumped my work at 6, and left for sundowners with my girls at Ice-Cold. I think we are just addicted to their chicken wings now. A tad expensive, but never mind the price when it comes to good food that satisfies your craving.

Then it was J Bar where the drinking buddies were finishing up their bottle of Chivas. Question: why is everyone so hooked onto Chivas now?

Last stop: Siam Supperclub. Some guy was celebrating his birthday. It was a wild crowd, but I was spared. Phew.

I was still up and standing at the end of the night - surprise surprise.

The drunkards all headed home. I decided I was hungry and went for my fish porridge at River Valley. Hmm... hot soup after drinks... nice.


The party tonight.

The A-list party. Where everyone is supposed to go dressed up as anything that begins with the letter 'A'.

Auntie. Ah Lian. Ang moh. Antelope. Ang ku kueh. Anita Mui. Ally McBeal. Ant. Anus. Asshole.

I haven't decided if I should go.

One, I still have no clue what to dress up as.

And two... I might just see someone there. And I'm just not too sure about it.

But it's a housewarming-cum-birthday party. I know I'd hate it if friends don't turn up at my own housewarming.

Urgh.


Gotta run now and finish up my errands. I might get to see my favorite nephew later. =)


My favorite movie soundtrack ever? It's a toss-up between 'Romeo And Juliet' and 'You've Got Mail'.

Can't decide now.

Single

A short and crazy email conversation between me and best friend Lyn yesterday during work-hours went like this:

Me:
It's Thursday! It's ThursdaY!!

Lyn:
Yeah boy! so glad it's Thursday.
though still have this wish that it was Friday...haha.
So what you up to these days?
Still hangin out at wireless cafes?

Me:
me? sometimes, but a bit less. going out with friends. drinks.
i'm going crazy.
crazy crazy crazy. and stupid.

Lyn:
Crazy huh?! Let me give you some antidote.....Use poison for poison.
Meet your crazy friend.
So when is good for you?

Me:
yes crazy crazy crazy.
i'm going nuts. bonkers. siao liao.
shit lah, my ipod menu button not working.


Later in the evening, I did something I've never done before.

I had a late-night drink with Lyn at Bala.

Yes, it was my best friend Lyn at Bala, she who doesn't touch a single drop of alcohol. And yes, it was late-night, though it was only half past ten when we met.

More likely than not, you'd usually catch us having a feast in some food center or stacking up colored plates at the conveyor belts of Sakae. And if we couldn't meet for dinner, we'd usually end up not meeting at all.

So, you see. Me actually receiving messages from her after we had our own dinner plans last night, and actually arranging to meet up for drinks later - it was totally out of whack for me.

Me and Lyn at Bala at eleven on a Thursday night? Yeah, I know. Weird sighting.

"Wah. So why you suddenly want to hang out so late tonight?"

"Erm... dunno. Because I'm concerned about you?"

Lyn, you don't know how much that touched me. I am so so thankful for you. =)


And I am also so thankful for all my girlfriends.

They are all a blast.


*****

Bumped into yet another one-time buddy, good old Ed, at Bala last night.

What's up with all these men of my past? Can they stop crossing my path? Not this way, at least.

Ed: The best thing about being single is that you get to rediscover life and yourself again and not worry about making someone else happy.

WTF??

Me: The best thing about being single is... you don't get hurt by men no more. =)


*****

Being single... feels a little funny. Most times.

Maybe I'm just not used to it... yet.


Just like how Piper has Gracie, I wish I had a companion too.