There are some who claim that the world of ordinary experience is an illusion, and that the doors to the real world are opened by sacred drugs or practices of medication. People who claim to have seen the truth this way are usually dismissed as dope-heads or wackos; but they think it is we who are the fools, trapped as we are within the limited world of sense experience.
Why is it that when I first read this passage, I could almost immediately feel an inexplicable affinity toward 'them', the supposed wackos as defined?
Why is it that I almost always readily proclaim myself to be the crazy nut and that everyone else around me is the 'normal one'?
Why is it that I sometimes feel I really don't belong anywhere in this world?
I spoke once of 'homesickness'.
And it didn't happen because I was physically far away from the one and only apartment I've known my entire life.
It happened because I was physically and mostly emotionally far away from the one I used to love like he was the one. The one whom I actually thought I felt a real belonging to.
Homesickness is such a bittersweet sensation, you actually feel it churning right in your stomach. One that once warmed my heart, but now I don't wish to suffer no more.
I shouldn't belong to anywhere in this world. Most of all, I shouldn't feel like I belong to anyone.
But it is tough, I confess. It is tough having to be on your own all the time, it is tough not having anyone to belong to.
It is tough not having someone to love you, like you actually really feel entirely loved. Entirety to your core being.
I look at people around me all the time, and I wonder how some make it. I wonder how some of them could love themselves so much they don't seem to need anyone else. I suppose it is indeed possible - but only if you're built that way.
I don't think I am.
It seems a very rational answer I've thought of to my constant struggles with life.
So then. Because of the wacky nut I am, coupled with my seeming need for a constant companion who would love me in my entirety, I think I have it all figured out.
Perhaps that is why I seem to hurt some people around me. Why I seem to create 'unnecessary' trouble for the ones around me I actually love.
I suppose my passion for life in my own way is simply too intense, too imaginery, no one could comprehend, no one could cope with it.
To these ones I love, I am sorry, I really didn't mean any hurt.
I really think I ought to live on my own, in my own world. Just to save anyone else any unnecessary trouble.
I am not sorry about my existence nor about the way I think of life, I just think I need to learn to deal with it. And as much as I can try to, be as normal as everyone else. Especially when I am around everyone else.
Folks who in only all good intentions try to love and take care of me might give up. They might even regret ever having me in their lives. I will only be sorry that they had even wanted to try.
You and I, we really shouldn't even attempt to judge anyone, especially the ones we really love. Nor to form any expectations of what they should think, how they should feel, who they really should be.
Because not only would it bring you disappointment, it destroys the relationship.
Rationality is relative. The only difference between a conventionally sane person and an insane one, is the basis of their individual rationality.
You might think a human being who has done wrong deserves to die, while I believe that human being, like all others, really deserves a second chance.
You might believe a monster is not to be loved, simply because a monster is harmful.
I believe I will love a monster, simply because that monster deserves to be loved.
There is a new movie I would very much love to get my hands on.
It tells of a young girl who lives in a mental hospital because she believes she is a cyborg. She meets a young dude, also in the same mental hospital, who believes he is capable of stealing other people's souls.
It's an extraordinarily simple story about how two crazy nuts shut out by the rest of the world love each other passionately.
Because all they know is to love the person for who they really are.
Absolutely amazing, isn't it?
If you never try to see the world from another's point of view, let alone walk a mile in their bare feet, you are refusing to look beyond the walls of the small, comfortable world you have constructed for yourself.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Women's Lies
Something, which I think was originally meant to be another silly joke, just came in over email.
Yes, yes - another manifestation of my "very bad sense of humor".
*****
One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?"
The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.
The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with pearls.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble ringed with sapphires.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
Again, the seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.
Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water.
When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney.
"Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.
"Yes!" cried the seamstress.
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so that's why I said 'yes' to George Clooney."
And so the Lord let her keep him.
The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others.
Yes, yes - another manifestation of my "very bad sense of humor".
*****
One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?"
The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.
The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with pearls.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble ringed with sapphires.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
Again, the seamstress replied, "No."
The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.
Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water.
When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney.
"Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.
"Yes!" cried the seamstress.
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so that's why I said 'yes' to George Clooney."
And so the Lord let her keep him.
The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others.
Unglamorised
Me: Houston, there's a problem...
M: Clementi, there's a siao char bor...
Nobody would think it, or any other message, would be that ticklish. Except maybe me.
Either I really just have a very bad sense of humor, or there's something really wrong with me.
Really wrong.
M: Clementi, there's a siao char bor...
Nobody would think it, or any other message, would be that ticklish. Except maybe me.
Either I really just have a very bad sense of humor, or there's something really wrong with me.
Really wrong.
Cheat
We all get tired every now and then, don't we?
About work, about shit, about life. It's not just you, nor me; I suppose the mother who sits across from me cooing to her newborn son would get tired sometimes, or the security-uncle who sits stoned but still looking all-important at the same counter everyday, or my friends who are busy but seemingly pleased with their jobs and round up their otherwise normal daily lives by having couple of happy drinks with chums before heading home for a good night's rest.
Sometimes, it's just a worn-out body who tires out the mind, and we all regain that bit of energy to take on the world again after a good ten-hour snooze. That would be simply good fortune to know.
Then there are those sneaky times when we just feel tired inside out, we want to stop thinking, we want to stop breathing. We're so tired, our stomachs feel sick. We cuss and swear at the ills and wish they would all just disappear. Times like this, we just want to give up. Even if it is something you had really wanted. Times like this, you begin to doubt yourself and you forget what you were fighting for in the first place.
Is it just a burnt-out mind, or is it a seriously-wounded soul? Either case, I have no foolproof cure for it. Some say sleep would do some help. Some say booze, others say travel. I don't know.
I just know I am so fucking tired. If a deep, endless slumber is only but wishful thinking, then I just hope tomorrow, somehow somewhere I can find that energy to fight again.
Life is like those Choose Your Own Adventure storybooks I snuck from my brother when I was small and sick of playing with Barbie.
Only problem is, I cheated.
Every time I disliked my badly-chosen scenarios, I would cheat quietly and flip back a few chapters, just so I could choose my adventures all over again. Of course, trying very hard at the same time to remember the bad routes I had chosen before - and never to go up the same ones again.
If only I could cheat in life as well.
P.S.: Yes, I did use to own Barbies.
About work, about shit, about life. It's not just you, nor me; I suppose the mother who sits across from me cooing to her newborn son would get tired sometimes, or the security-uncle who sits stoned but still looking all-important at the same counter everyday, or my friends who are busy but seemingly pleased with their jobs and round up their otherwise normal daily lives by having couple of happy drinks with chums before heading home for a good night's rest.
Sometimes, it's just a worn-out body who tires out the mind, and we all regain that bit of energy to take on the world again after a good ten-hour snooze. That would be simply good fortune to know.
Then there are those sneaky times when we just feel tired inside out, we want to stop thinking, we want to stop breathing. We're so tired, our stomachs feel sick. We cuss and swear at the ills and wish they would all just disappear. Times like this, we just want to give up. Even if it is something you had really wanted. Times like this, you begin to doubt yourself and you forget what you were fighting for in the first place.
Is it just a burnt-out mind, or is it a seriously-wounded soul? Either case, I have no foolproof cure for it. Some say sleep would do some help. Some say booze, others say travel. I don't know.
I just know I am so fucking tired. If a deep, endless slumber is only but wishful thinking, then I just hope tomorrow, somehow somewhere I can find that energy to fight again.
Life is like those Choose Your Own Adventure storybooks I snuck from my brother when I was small and sick of playing with Barbie.
Only problem is, I cheated.
Every time I disliked my badly-chosen scenarios, I would cheat quietly and flip back a few chapters, just so I could choose my adventures all over again. Of course, trying very hard at the same time to remember the bad routes I had chosen before - and never to go up the same ones again.
If only I could cheat in life as well.
P.S.: Yes, I did use to own Barbies.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Boot That Thought!
The morning I left Hong Kong, my heart was at unease.
I knew I had forgotten about something, I knew I had left something behind.
What it was, I never really did manage to figure out... until today.
I forgot to buy my all-important Boots supplies!!! Aaarrgghhh!!! How could I?!?!
Remembering about Boots today also brought something else unfortunate to my mind.
Boots inevitably reminds me of Bangkok.
Before HK, there was Bangkok. I have always loved Bangkok for her tom yum goong, green curry, cheap bras and most of all - Boots. There is nary a fulfilling Bangkok trip without a loadful of Boots squeezed amongst my dirty clothes.
But today, the sudden thought of Bangkok reminds me of how life loves playing pranks on us.
Of how some things almost were, but probably were never meant to be.
And thinking of Bangkok also makes me hungry now.
Very, very hungry. =/
I knew I had forgotten about something, I knew I had left something behind.
What it was, I never really did manage to figure out... until today.
I forgot to buy my all-important Boots supplies!!! Aaarrgghhh!!! How could I?!?!
Remembering about Boots today also brought something else unfortunate to my mind.
Boots inevitably reminds me of Bangkok.
Before HK, there was Bangkok. I have always loved Bangkok for her tom yum goong, green curry, cheap bras and most of all - Boots. There is nary a fulfilling Bangkok trip without a loadful of Boots squeezed amongst my dirty clothes.
But today, the sudden thought of Bangkok reminds me of how life loves playing pranks on us.
Of how some things almost were, but probably were never meant to be.
And thinking of Bangkok also makes me hungry now.
Very, very hungry. =/
Other Loves
Much as I try to be resolute and stick to my top three should-loves, I know there are other people/things that will always tear me away from my numero uno.
Like, chicks for whom I'm willing to give up my time, even though I had already made plans, albeit for myself, to be a good girl for the night. This is my bane: if I'm not there for my chicks, I just can't trust anyone else who would be.
And then, there's ...
"Huh? What's this? You'd love money more than me?"
Haha... You'd know my answer, hunny.
You jolly well should.
Like, chicks for whom I'm willing to give up my time, even though I had already made plans, albeit for myself, to be a good girl for the night. This is my bane: if I'm not there for my chicks, I just can't trust anyone else who would be.
And then, there's ...
"Huh? What's this? You'd love money more than me?"
Haha... You'd know my answer, hunny.
You jolly well should.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Lessons
Couple (or maybe more) of lessons I have learnt this week.
One: Never say "never". The things that you always say 'never' to, will always end up in your court. Somehow. TRUST ME.
Two: (Regardless of the 'never' lesson) A "no" is always a "no". I hope some people get that message right. Subtlety doesn't work.
Three: Close my heart, and shut the fuck up. Less expectations will be formed of you.
Yes. Shut my trap.
Whenever necessary. In fact... perhaps, all the time.
That way, life might probably be much, much easier.
One: Never say "never". The things that you always say 'never' to, will always end up in your court. Somehow. TRUST ME.
Two: (Regardless of the 'never' lesson) A "no" is always a "no". I hope some people get that message right. Subtlety doesn't work.
Three: Close my heart, and shut the fuck up. Less expectations will be formed of you.
Yes. Shut my trap.
Whenever necessary. In fact... perhaps, all the time.
That way, life might probably be much, much easier.
Another Nice One
#&*^%@(*@&$!!
I have no words for this. Absolutely zilch.
For the one year that I finally missed Portland, it snowed. It fuckin' snowed. Big-time!
I love ya, Big One.
I so swear I'll make me my own white Christmas this year.
Money money money money money...
I have no words for this. Absolutely zilch.
For the one year that I finally missed Portland, it snowed. It fuckin' snowed. Big-time!
I love ya, Big One.
I so swear I'll make me my own white Christmas this year.
Money money money money money...
Monday, January 22, 2007
Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue...
Halfway through our crap one night over the weekend, one of us chicks started to chant: "Roses are red, violets are blue... then what huh? What huh?!"
All the chicks scratched their heads, pored over the very 'cheem' question but none could come up with the right answer.
Baffled, and refusing to be deemed dumb chicks who didn't know their love poems well, we resorted to the know-all master Google. And then we found out: there is no right answer! Hurrah!
Instead, we got more than what we sought. Plus some more.
The So-called Original Version
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you.
The Hum-Sup Version
Roses are blue,
Violets are red,
I'm crap with colors,
But wicked in bed.
The Hum-Sup Version Part II
Roses are blue,
Violets are red,
I am not a gynaecologist,
But I'll look for you.
The Primary-Three-Kid Version
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Someone like you,
Belongs in a zoo,
Don't be mad don't be blue,
Frankenstein was ugly too.
The Wednesday-Addams Version
Roses are wilting,
Violets are dead,
Sugar is lumpy,
And so is your head.
The Smart-Aleck-Lil'-Sister Version
Violets are blue,
Roses are pink,
Did you just fart,
Or is that your feet that really stink.
The Deliriously-Happy Version
Roses are orange,
Violets are green,
This is the best weed,
I have ever seen.
The Only-Men-Can-Think-Of Version
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I made this poem up,
While sitting on the loo.
The Ah-Lian Version
Lohses are led,
Wylets are bloo,
You gip me laimonds,
And I mally you.
The Ah-Beng Version
Char Bor le si led,
Ta Bor wa si bloo,
You be my stead,
And I make lup to you.
The Little-Prince-of-a-Nephew Version
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
My Thomas trains are smashing,
And so is my 姑姑.
Heeheeheeheehee...
All the chicks scratched their heads, pored over the very 'cheem' question but none could come up with the right answer.
Baffled, and refusing to be deemed dumb chicks who didn't know their love poems well, we resorted to the know-all master Google. And then we found out: there is no right answer! Hurrah!
Instead, we got more than what we sought. Plus some more.
The So-called Original Version
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you.
The Hum-Sup Version
Roses are blue,
Violets are red,
I'm crap with colors,
But wicked in bed.
The Hum-Sup Version Part II
Roses are blue,
Violets are red,
I am not a gynaecologist,
But I'll look for you.
The Primary-Three-Kid Version
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Someone like you,
Belongs in a zoo,
Don't be mad don't be blue,
Frankenstein was ugly too.
The Wednesday-Addams Version
Roses are wilting,
Violets are dead,
Sugar is lumpy,
And so is your head.
The Smart-Aleck-Lil'-Sister Version
Violets are blue,
Roses are pink,
Did you just fart,
Or is that your feet that really stink.
The Deliriously-Happy Version
Roses are orange,
Violets are green,
This is the best weed,
I have ever seen.
The Only-Men-Can-Think-Of Version
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I made this poem up,
While sitting on the loo.
The Ah-Lian Version
Lohses are led,
Wylets are bloo,
You gip me laimonds,
And I mally you.
The Ah-Beng Version
Char Bor le si led,
Ta Bor wa si bloo,
You be my stead,
And I make lup to you.
The Little-Prince-of-a-Nephew Version
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
My Thomas trains are smashing,
And so is my 姑姑.
Heeheeheeheehee...
New Loves
Ok, after much deliberation, I think I had been a bit too dumb. I had gotten my priorities all wrong; I had been too easy in my loving.
And I thought I was big. Sheesh.
For one, it's pretty dumb to think you actually love a brand. Worse still, to think you love a brand who would never be capable of loving any single one human being.
So this is my new 'love' motto:
One: Love ME ME ME more than anything/anyone else.
Two: Love my girls. (Only simply because I am their all-loving God.)
Three: Love money money money.
Yes. I have (finally) decided to love money money money more than you, my friends.
Darn, I should've been more gian lui from the the beginning...
And I thought I was big. Sheesh.
For one, it's pretty dumb to think you actually love a brand. Worse still, to think you love a brand who would never be capable of loving any single one human being.
So this is my new 'love' motto:
One: Love ME ME ME more than anything/anyone else.
Two: Love my girls. (Only simply because I am their all-loving God.)
Three: Love money money money.
Yes. I have (finally) decided to love money money money more than you, my friends.
Darn, I should've been more gian lui from the the beginning...
WWF-Slammed
There I was, for a moment, floating... floating... floating... higher and higher... until the stupid bubble burst.
This time, the bubble's a little soapier and almost that close to heaven. So the bump on the ass feels a bit more painful. Like I had been WWF-slammed.
Most of the rescue work revolves around smacking myself on the head every now and then.
Wake up. You already knew deep inside you something was bound to happen. You're never that happy little kid who gets to enjoy free happy meals, complete with the toys of the week.
It is precisely at this point, I would like to stand in front of the blue sea and scream out at the top of my lungs that I hate erm... stuff.
But then, the lousy weather doesn't quite permit that. Which is just as well, since I know my friends would all smack me on the head one by one too if they knew what I had been up to.
I don't need any more of that now. I think my head is already not functioning as well as it should.
I think what I really badly need now, other than writing tons of awwsome letters, is some self-administered dosages of laughter. HUGE dosages.
No need. I don't need nobody to make me laugh. I am a big girl, and I already have a good reputation around this area of being able to laugh at a computer.
I have my email jokes, my stupid videos, my list of silly blogs, and my favorite you-tube.
Or, some wise quips from my witty friends. Like this:
"No decent director would dump you over the phone."
I like witty people. Really.
This time, the bubble's a little soapier and almost that close to heaven. So the bump on the ass feels a bit more painful. Like I had been WWF-slammed.
Most of the rescue work revolves around smacking myself on the head every now and then.
Wake up. You already knew deep inside you something was bound to happen. You're never that happy little kid who gets to enjoy free happy meals, complete with the toys of the week.
It is precisely at this point, I would like to stand in front of the blue sea and scream out at the top of my lungs that I hate erm... stuff.
But then, the lousy weather doesn't quite permit that. Which is just as well, since I know my friends would all smack me on the head one by one too if they knew what I had been up to.
I don't need any more of that now. I think my head is already not functioning as well as it should.
I think what I really badly need now, other than writing tons of awwsome letters, is some self-administered dosages of laughter. HUGE dosages.
No need. I don't need nobody to make me laugh. I am a big girl, and I already have a good reputation around this area of being able to laugh at a computer.
I have my email jokes, my stupid videos, my list of silly blogs, and my favorite you-tube.
Or, some wise quips from my witty friends. Like this:
"No decent director would dump you over the phone."
I like witty people. Really.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Cliffhanger
I crossed over to the 'other' side.
The other side where I thought might have greener pastures, but I didn't really search because all I really wanted was just to get over there and bask in the greenery to mend my wretched soul.
"Come back over," they had cooed as they sent me off. "Come back when you're healed."
I smiled, shook hands, turned my back, and crossed the bridge over to the other side.
Five good months of lying on the grass, staring up at the blue skies, daydreaming about life and possibilities later, I got up, stretched myself, and decided I needed something more. Something more real in this world. It was time for me to go in search of that something.
More importantly, maybe as pompous as it may sound, I am needed somewhere in this world. I have to find out, I told myself.
"Hey!"
Just as I had gotten up and fluffed the bits of grass off my pretty brown skirt, someone yelled after me.
I turned around, and saw someone waving at me. Someone from that side across the bridge where I had come from five months ago.
I smiled and waved back.
"Hey! You're up, finally! Come back. We want you back here!"
Should I? Shouldn't I?
I would love to. I missed that place across the bridge. Not much greenery, but there were indeed human beings over there I loved anyway. Human beings whom I had seen cross the bridge to and fro in all of my six years there, but also remained in my heart wherever they might be.
But then, I hadn't really done what I had set out to do. I turned my head away from the bridge, and looked ahead.
What might life really look like out there...
"Come! Come back. We have a lot of good things for you back here. We miss you, and we need you!"
And then it hit me like a bullet train. The love I had for that place hit me in the head and rushed through all my blood veins.
Groggily, I turned and started my way toward the bridge.
One... two... three... then a little pause... then I continued making my careful steps up the long shaky bridge. In no time, my steps quickened with confidence, and there I was, halfway across the bridge.
"Wait a minute! Stop right there! Someone set the bridge on fire! Hang on right there, I'll get you!"
Hang on right there?
Oopsy. Did someone actually notice the fire has broken the bridge into two, and that my life is now hanging on one dangling end?
Someone send a 'copter. Hurry.
So you see.
Stop telling me to "be careful about burning any bridge". They offered me to use the bridge first, then fuckin' burnt it.
There is no more bridge.
If you still want me, send a bloody 'copter.
The wait is killing me.
The other side where I thought might have greener pastures, but I didn't really search because all I really wanted was just to get over there and bask in the greenery to mend my wretched soul.
"Come back over," they had cooed as they sent me off. "Come back when you're healed."
I smiled, shook hands, turned my back, and crossed the bridge over to the other side.
Five good months of lying on the grass, staring up at the blue skies, daydreaming about life and possibilities later, I got up, stretched myself, and decided I needed something more. Something more real in this world. It was time for me to go in search of that something.
More importantly, maybe as pompous as it may sound, I am needed somewhere in this world. I have to find out, I told myself.
"Hey!"
Just as I had gotten up and fluffed the bits of grass off my pretty brown skirt, someone yelled after me.
I turned around, and saw someone waving at me. Someone from that side across the bridge where I had come from five months ago.
I smiled and waved back.
"Hey! You're up, finally! Come back. We want you back here!"
Should I? Shouldn't I?
I would love to. I missed that place across the bridge. Not much greenery, but there were indeed human beings over there I loved anyway. Human beings whom I had seen cross the bridge to and fro in all of my six years there, but also remained in my heart wherever they might be.
But then, I hadn't really done what I had set out to do. I turned my head away from the bridge, and looked ahead.
What might life really look like out there...
"Come! Come back. We have a lot of good things for you back here. We miss you, and we need you!"
And then it hit me like a bullet train. The love I had for that place hit me in the head and rushed through all my blood veins.
Groggily, I turned and started my way toward the bridge.
One... two... three... then a little pause... then I continued making my careful steps up the long shaky bridge. In no time, my steps quickened with confidence, and there I was, halfway across the bridge.
"Wait a minute! Stop right there! Someone set the bridge on fire! Hang on right there, I'll get you!"
Hang on right there?
Oopsy. Did someone actually notice the fire has broken the bridge into two, and that my life is now hanging on one dangling end?
Someone send a 'copter. Hurry.
So you see.
Stop telling me to "be careful about burning any bridge". They offered me to use the bridge first, then fuckin' burnt it.
There is no more bridge.
If you still want me, send a bloody 'copter.
The wait is killing me.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
(Crappy)
In times exactly like this, you thank the Big Guy for creating the wondrous technology known as 'email', and for (crappy) friends who bother to cheer you up with (crappy) email jokes.
So anytime you start feeling blue, instead of reaching for the valium, you just log on to your email and pull the (crappy) jokes - like this one - out again for a good laugh.
Funny stuff to avoid for your kids...
Mandarin
Paul Chan - Bankrupt
Anne Chang - Dirty
Faye Chen - Dusty
Anne Chin - Keep quiet
Henry Mah - Hate your mum
Jane Tan - Frying eggs
Nelson Tan - Bird laying eggs
Leslie Tong - Rubbish bin
Hokkien
Carl Cheng - Buttock
Monica Cheng - Touching your buttocks
Lucy Leow - You are dead
Suzie Leow - Lost till death
Lim Yew Lin - Drink urine
Lim Teh Peng - Drink iced tea
Danny See - Squeeze you to death
Corrine Tai - Poor fellow
Rosie Teng - Screws and nails
Carmen Tng - Leg hair long
Pete Tsai - Nose droppings
Cantonese
Connie Mah - Call your mother
Macy Koh - Never die before
Micheal Tan - Sell eggs
Michael Loong - Sell chicken cage
Funny, just laugh out loud. Wherever you are right now.
Just like me.
So anytime you start feeling blue, instead of reaching for the valium, you just log on to your email and pull the (crappy) jokes - like this one - out again for a good laugh.
Funny stuff to avoid for your kids...
Mandarin
Paul Chan - Bankrupt
Anne Chang - Dirty
Faye Chen - Dusty
Anne Chin - Keep quiet
Henry Mah - Hate your mum
Jane Tan - Frying eggs
Nelson Tan - Bird laying eggs
Leslie Tong - Rubbish bin
Hokkien
Carl Cheng - Buttock
Monica Cheng - Touching your buttocks
Lucy Leow - You are dead
Suzie Leow - Lost till death
Lim Yew Lin - Drink urine
Lim Teh Peng - Drink iced tea
Danny See - Squeeze you to death
Corrine Tai - Poor fellow
Rosie Teng - Screws and nails
Carmen Tng - Leg hair long
Pete Tsai - Nose droppings
Cantonese
Connie Mah - Call your mother
Macy Koh - Never die before
Micheal Tan - Sell eggs
Michael Loong - Sell chicken cage
Funny, just laugh out loud. Wherever you are right now.
Just like me.
A Little Scare
So, shit happens time to time. Perhaps even all the time. Sometimes big-time, too.
And the thing is, everytime it happens, we just wipe our asses before we go on with life. Unless, well, you're a blissfully nonchalant two-year-old.
So shit happened.
So bad, it almost ripped my guts out.
But I think I'm doing a pretty good job, cleaning up myself - so quickly. And so surprisingly.
I said, only for tonight.
I remember I said that.
I am back, as promised.
With still a little bit of anger, but surely, hopefully more smartness too. A cooler, but also heavier, head - damn.
I will show all my hunnys and babes out there, that those who do me wrong will not do me in.
To the ones who gave me a good tight slap (each) across the back of my silly head last night, big thanks.
I needed that.
And I needed you.
*****
And so this was how it ended up: I didn't do no face-mask, hair-mask, whatever-mask, I didn't come home early, and I didn't even have my zzz monster for company.
And then now, I got to deal with the poofed-up eyes.
Big Guy, whatever happened last night, I'll talk to you about it sometime later, maybe in the day.
For now, if you can really perform miracles, please make my eyes pretty pretty again. By 1 o'clock.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE OK.
And the thing is, everytime it happens, we just wipe our asses before we go on with life. Unless, well, you're a blissfully nonchalant two-year-old.
So shit happened.
So bad, it almost ripped my guts out.
But I think I'm doing a pretty good job, cleaning up myself - so quickly. And so surprisingly.
I said, only for tonight.
I remember I said that.
I am back, as promised.
With still a little bit of anger, but surely, hopefully more smartness too. A cooler, but also heavier, head - damn.
I will show all my hunnys and babes out there, that those who do me wrong will not do me in.
To the ones who gave me a good tight slap (each) across the back of my silly head last night, big thanks.
I needed that.
And I needed you.
*****
And so this was how it ended up: I didn't do no face-mask, hair-mask, whatever-mask, I didn't come home early, and I didn't even have my zzz monster for company.
And then now, I got to deal with the poofed-up eyes.
Big Guy, whatever happened last night, I'll talk to you about it sometime later, maybe in the day.
For now, if you can really perform miracles, please make my eyes pretty pretty again. By 1 o'clock.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE OK.
Monday, January 15, 2007
i-Maskmaskmask
Oh dear, it is happening faster than I had wanted it to.
Tonight, I must go home early, slap on face mask, hair mask, body mud mask, any mask.
And I think I might need to "borrow" some zzzg pills from Karks. Otherwise, 6 whites might do the same trick.
I'd love to think my fifteen-pathetic-second shot at fame did the job. But, I don't think so leh.
This is so fuckin' hilarious. :)
Tonight, I must go home early, slap on face mask, hair mask, body mud mask, any mask.
And I think I might need to "borrow" some zzzg pills from Karks. Otherwise, 6 whites might do the same trick.
I'd love to think my fifteen-pathetic-second shot at fame did the job. But, I don't think so leh.
This is so fuckin' hilarious. :)
Ironies
It's been a long, long, somewhat traumatizing, yet blossoming week.
Yous cuddles mys zzzs monsters tonights.
Ands Is wills zzzs earlys toos. :)
Yous cuddles mys zzzs monsters tonights.
Ands Is wills zzzs earlys toos. :)
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Old Skool and the New
"Cheng dropped 2 Roald Dahl bombs on me. Straight old school and new school editions. Now that's playing hardball. I need a sleeping pill cause this is starting to get ludicrous." - excerpt from the 'Handsome Young' one.
Yes, so I was back to my book-sharing mood during the recent Christmas.
And it got me excited all over again, fantasizing about my own dream bookcase. I figure my books shall be the best Original-Fatmama heirloom I could ever hand down to my kids, and their kids, and their kids, and their kids...
That said, I think I do have a long way to go though.
While I am darned proud of my almost-complete Tintin collection, I am missing my Enid Blytons and my Nancy Drews. If I can't find them in the 30-year-old vault meticulously maintained by the Queen Mother, I have this nagging feeling I would so embark on an anal worldwide huntdown.
Somewhere amongst the kids' section, I am also going to pull out all the Calvin & Hobbes, the Dr. Seuss's, and the Shel Silversteins. I can't help but think I would make such a darned awesome mom or grandmom. Tsk tsk.
I don't really care much for the Harry Potters - maybe 'cos I already own most of them. But Roald Dahls would be the next must-haves after the Blytons (the Golliwogs, the Magic Faraway Trees, the Amelia Janes, the Famous Fives and all). I know I have most of them in my still-pathetic bookcase. :)
I will not dare proclaim any challenge toward Shakespeare, but I have always dreamt of conquering all the great classics. The day I actually complete Tolstroy's War and Peace, I would think I am damn awesome.
On the shelves of my dream bookcase, some philosophical titles and an autobiogaphy on Audrey Hepburn would ideally stand. There would probably be, as I can imagine now, a good mix of fiction and non-fiction. Books about dogs, animals, interesting human beings, travel, food, and especially the how-to-get-rich manuals.
The treasury would finally be completed with a few random titles that I have had the blessing to, and will hopefully continue to, stumble upon. Books that I didn't search for, but found their way to me instead. Books that told me a story which touched my own in an inexplicable yet immense way.
I love books.
I pray only that I will have amassed enough fortune in this lifetime of mine to indulge in them. And that I have the super power to actually read faster than I would like to buy.
And if I could just be allowed to be a little shameless here, I would be a very happy chick if all birthday or Christmas pressies came in the form of Borders giftcards. :)
Yes, so I was back to my book-sharing mood during the recent Christmas.
And it got me excited all over again, fantasizing about my own dream bookcase. I figure my books shall be the best Original-Fatmama heirloom I could ever hand down to my kids, and their kids, and their kids, and their kids...
That said, I think I do have a long way to go though.
While I am darned proud of my almost-complete Tintin collection, I am missing my Enid Blytons and my Nancy Drews. If I can't find them in the 30-year-old vault meticulously maintained by the Queen Mother, I have this nagging feeling I would so embark on an anal worldwide huntdown.
Somewhere amongst the kids' section, I am also going to pull out all the Calvin & Hobbes, the Dr. Seuss's, and the Shel Silversteins. I can't help but think I would make such a darned awesome mom or grandmom. Tsk tsk.
I don't really care much for the Harry Potters - maybe 'cos I already own most of them. But Roald Dahls would be the next must-haves after the Blytons (the Golliwogs, the Magic Faraway Trees, the Amelia Janes, the Famous Fives and all). I know I have most of them in my still-pathetic bookcase. :)
I will not dare proclaim any challenge toward Shakespeare, but I have always dreamt of conquering all the great classics. The day I actually complete Tolstroy's War and Peace, I would think I am damn awesome.
On the shelves of my dream bookcase, some philosophical titles and an autobiogaphy on Audrey Hepburn would ideally stand. There would probably be, as I can imagine now, a good mix of fiction and non-fiction. Books about dogs, animals, interesting human beings, travel, food, and especially the how-to-get-rich manuals.
The treasury would finally be completed with a few random titles that I have had the blessing to, and will hopefully continue to, stumble upon. Books that I didn't search for, but found their way to me instead. Books that told me a story which touched my own in an inexplicable yet immense way.
I love books.
I pray only that I will have amassed enough fortune in this lifetime of mine to indulge in them. And that I have the super power to actually read faster than I would like to buy.
And if I could just be allowed to be a little shameless here, I would be a very happy chick if all birthday or Christmas pressies came in the form of Borders giftcards. :)
Friday, January 12, 2007
Fear and Hope
Barely twenty-four hours after the initial jubilation, the fear has set in. Silly cow me... I really should've seen it coming, but still I didn't.
The fear of the unknown. The self-doubts. The what-ifs. The do-you-actually-know-what-the-fuck-you're-doing questions. I am getting afraid of me - again.
It's déjà vu. I know it best.
I feel exactly the same as I did, five months ago when I left the place I used to call my second home.
For all I know, I might feel lost. I might feel clueless... helpless even. I might even get so lonely I'd die (most likely from imbibing more alcohol than I ought to). The fact that I would be in an unfamiliar city infamous for her rude spit-ful people would definitely not be of much help.
Then again, I would never know, would I?
Five long months ago, the very minute I put the letter on ex-boss's desk, I started feeling lost. I did feel clueless, though not entirely helpless. I had already been lonely for a while.
But I got through all that.
And I got to where I am standing right now.
I love me for what I decided for myself five months ago. I love me for making the fateful decision to visit my brother Ed in Hong Kong. Without everything that happened in the past five months, especially that perpetually drunken yet ironically sobering HK trip, I would probably still be lost, clueless... and lonely.
I have a seemingly bright future, a brain-cell-killing challenge, a new exciting life, some awe-inspiring jaw-dropping event awaiting some thousands of miles away.
Thanks to some folks, and I think, most of all, to myself.
I would be a fucking big shame if I let anyone down. Most of all, Fatmama.
There are perhaps plenty things I need to settle before I go.
There's the room to pack up. Stuff to bring, stuff to dump, and stuff to return to its rightful owner.
There's the car I need to put into safe hands. I love it too much to see it go to wasteland.
There're my girls I have to entrust in 奶奶's hands, very probably second in line after the prince of a nephew. I need to show 'em where my doctor works, where their hairdresser operates.
There're my chicks I have to drink to death with every night before I go. I cannot tell them how much I am so gonna fuckin' miss them, I hope my drinking makes up for it.
There's the nephew I have to hug and kiss and hug and kiss every night and day, because I don't want him to miss me, and I don't fuckin' want him to ever forget about 姑姑. I think I might have to cook up some lame excuse, like 姑姑's going to some faraway place to buy Oliver.
There are new stuff I need/would like to get for myself. A (more) handy camera to capture my new life. An i-Sight (I got screwed for thinking about a brand new MacBook) through which the little prince and his two furry cousins can catch a good glimpse of me every now and then. All those books in Borders I've been dying to own in my bookcase. A tattoo on my lower back I've promised myself since... .
And then, there're the feelings I need to recollect for myself.
I hope I keep myself busy enough.
I am so glad to be going back to work.
Because I know many people out there would be too.
Thanks everyone, all of you. For keeping me company, for obliging my invitations to drink whenever dusk falls, for singing whenever I have an itch to, for continuing chatting with me on MSN at three fucking p.m. when you should be answering more important emails.
I love you guys. All of you. And for real.
Please go back to work. Go back to your normal life before I came in to disrupt it. Go back to what you're meant to do.
And to you, I hope you get your executive directorship. Really soon. :)
Life's hopefully not gonna be that bad.
I will bring 臭臭 along with me. I will have my books and DVDs. I always will have Jay with me all along the way from the airport to wherever I end up.
And most of all, I will have someone's love. :)
The fear of the unknown. The self-doubts. The what-ifs. The do-you-actually-know-what-the-fuck-you're-doing questions. I am getting afraid of me - again.
It's déjà vu. I know it best.
I feel exactly the same as I did, five months ago when I left the place I used to call my second home.
For all I know, I might feel lost. I might feel clueless... helpless even. I might even get so lonely I'd die (most likely from imbibing more alcohol than I ought to). The fact that I would be in an unfamiliar city infamous for her rude spit-ful people would definitely not be of much help.
Then again, I would never know, would I?
Five long months ago, the very minute I put the letter on ex-boss's desk, I started feeling lost. I did feel clueless, though not entirely helpless. I had already been lonely for a while.
But I got through all that.
And I got to where I am standing right now.
I love me for what I decided for myself five months ago. I love me for making the fateful decision to visit my brother Ed in Hong Kong. Without everything that happened in the past five months, especially that perpetually drunken yet ironically sobering HK trip, I would probably still be lost, clueless... and lonely.
I have a seemingly bright future, a brain-cell-killing challenge, a new exciting life, some awe-inspiring jaw-dropping event awaiting some thousands of miles away.
Thanks to some folks, and I think, most of all, to myself.
I would be a fucking big shame if I let anyone down. Most of all, Fatmama.
There are perhaps plenty things I need to settle before I go.
There's the room to pack up. Stuff to bring, stuff to dump, and stuff to return to its rightful owner.
There's the car I need to put into safe hands. I love it too much to see it go to wasteland.
There're my girls I have to entrust in 奶奶's hands, very probably second in line after the prince of a nephew. I need to show 'em where my doctor works, where their hairdresser operates.
There're my chicks I have to drink to death with every night before I go. I cannot tell them how much I am so gonna fuckin' miss them, I hope my drinking makes up for it.
There's the nephew I have to hug and kiss and hug and kiss every night and day, because I don't want him to miss me, and I don't fuckin' want him to ever forget about 姑姑. I think I might have to cook up some lame excuse, like 姑姑's going to some faraway place to buy Oliver.
There are new stuff I need/would like to get for myself. A (more) handy camera to capture my new life. An i-Sight (I got screwed for thinking about a brand new MacBook) through which the little prince and his two furry cousins can catch a good glimpse of me every now and then. All those books in Borders I've been dying to own in my bookcase. A tattoo on my lower back I've promised myself since... .
And then, there're the feelings I need to recollect for myself.
I hope I keep myself busy enough.
I am so glad to be going back to work.
Because I know many people out there would be too.
Thanks everyone, all of you. For keeping me company, for obliging my invitations to drink whenever dusk falls, for singing whenever I have an itch to, for continuing chatting with me on MSN at three fucking p.m. when you should be answering more important emails.
I love you guys. All of you. And for real.
Please go back to work. Go back to your normal life before I came in to disrupt it. Go back to what you're meant to do.
And to you, I hope you get your executive directorship. Really soon. :)
Life's hopefully not gonna be that bad.
I will bring 臭臭 along with me. I will have my books and DVDs. I always will have Jay with me all along the way from the airport to wherever I end up.
And most of all, I will have someone's love. :)
"Hello Auntie..."
I so swear, this story I'm gonna tell, is gonna go way down in (my) history.
*****
"Hello auntie! You need umbrella?"
So, it had been raining dogs and more dogs since the fateful phonecall came. But the story now is not about that fateful phonecall.
Anyway, because of the downpour that didn't stop since, Auntie Fatmama found herself lugging (very reluctantly) an umbrella with her as she left her house in the morning. Yes, very unglam an umbrella is, but when you gotta bring it, you gotta bring it.
As fate would decree, the wretched umbrella eventually broke down, resisting the heavy pounding from the (stupid) heavy raindrops. So into the rubbish bin it went, and Auntie Fatmama found herself trudging toward the massage parlor in the cold.
Umbrella-less.
"Hello auntie! You need umbrella?"
Stunned, Auntie Fatmama turned to her left, where the tiny voice emerged.
There he stood, a tiny boy in old crooked glasses, no more than seven or eight years of age, looking at Auntie Fatmama with tiny but earnest eyes, offering his small umbrella in his left hand.
"What the fuck... ?" thought Auntie Fatmama.
But all she could voice in return was: "Er... sorry? What did you want?"
"Oh, it's raining, and I know you don't have an umbrella. You can share with me." And then he flashed the sweetest, most innocent smile ever.
Melting already, despite the unkind weather, Auntie Fatmama beamed, "Oh no need! Thank you very much but no need. I am just walking down to the shop further down... You are very very sweet... How old are you?... What's your name?... Where do you stay?... You are very sweet..."
In no less than one minute, the pair found themselves walking past an "ang ku kueh" shop, apparently a very famous one.
The boy immediately stopped in his tracks, and stopped entertaining Auntie Fatmama's intrusive questions. "Oh Auntie! You must buy the kuehs from this shop. They are very, very nice."
"Huh?!... Oh, I'll go to my shop first, then come back and buy later."
"No!!! You must buy now!"
Auntie Fatmama looked at the boy for a little longer than a moment, figured out the trap she had fallen into, then said with a slightly screwed-up face, "Oh. You want, is it?"
"No lah. No need."
Rolling her eyes very discreetly, Auntie Fatmama pulled the boy into the shop, and emerged quickly after paying for just two ang ku kuehs - both in the boy's hands.
Realizing the shit she had gotten herself into (yet again), she quickened her steps toward the massage parlor. Boy followed in hot pursuit, "Auntie! You need umbrella!"
"No! No need! And I think you should go home now. The rain is not so heavy now."
But alas! The boy in the old crooked glasses wouldn't relent. He followed right behind Auntie Fatmama's heels to the front door of the massage parlor.
Getting a little flustered, yet trying her best to retain the sweet tone, Auntie Fatmama instructed, "Ok, I am here at my shop. Go home now, before your mom starts wondering where you are."
"No. I don't want to go home yet, it's still raining. Can I come in with you, sit there and wait?"
Auntie Fatmama huffed in mild exasperation, and gave up.
The boy went in and created a nuisance of himself in the shop, messing with all the stuff he could possibly lay his hands on.
Before she went in to the room, Auntie Fatmama apologized profusely to the counter-girl for his behavior, adding a last disclaimer: "I don't know him one. Just send him home when I go in. Please."
Fresh from her hour-long massage session, Auntie Fatmama realized. She had just, barely an hour ago, been picked up by a freakin' eleven-year-old in old crooked glasses, conned by his umbrella offer, and parted with her moolah for a couple of ang ku kuehs.
Sigh.
Boy ah boy... you fuckin' had me at "hello...".
*****
See... boys will be boys.
No matter what age they may be, boys will always be boys and give you trouble no less.
When will I ever fuckin' learn?
*****
"Hello auntie! You need umbrella?"
So, it had been raining dogs and more dogs since the fateful phonecall came. But the story now is not about that fateful phonecall.
Anyway, because of the downpour that didn't stop since, Auntie Fatmama found herself lugging (very reluctantly) an umbrella with her as she left her house in the morning. Yes, very unglam an umbrella is, but when you gotta bring it, you gotta bring it.
As fate would decree, the wretched umbrella eventually broke down, resisting the heavy pounding from the (stupid) heavy raindrops. So into the rubbish bin it went, and Auntie Fatmama found herself trudging toward the massage parlor in the cold.
Umbrella-less.
"Hello auntie! You need umbrella?"
Stunned, Auntie Fatmama turned to her left, where the tiny voice emerged.
There he stood, a tiny boy in old crooked glasses, no more than seven or eight years of age, looking at Auntie Fatmama with tiny but earnest eyes, offering his small umbrella in his left hand.
"What the fuck... ?" thought Auntie Fatmama.
But all she could voice in return was: "Er... sorry? What did you want?"
"Oh, it's raining, and I know you don't have an umbrella. You can share with me." And then he flashed the sweetest, most innocent smile ever.
Melting already, despite the unkind weather, Auntie Fatmama beamed, "Oh no need! Thank you very much but no need. I am just walking down to the shop further down... You are very very sweet... How old are you?... What's your name?... Where do you stay?... You are very sweet..."
In no less than one minute, the pair found themselves walking past an "ang ku kueh" shop, apparently a very famous one.
The boy immediately stopped in his tracks, and stopped entertaining Auntie Fatmama's intrusive questions. "Oh Auntie! You must buy the kuehs from this shop. They are very, very nice."
"Huh?!... Oh, I'll go to my shop first, then come back and buy later."
"No!!! You must buy now!"
Auntie Fatmama looked at the boy for a little longer than a moment, figured out the trap she had fallen into, then said with a slightly screwed-up face, "Oh. You want, is it?"
"No lah. No need."
Rolling her eyes very discreetly, Auntie Fatmama pulled the boy into the shop, and emerged quickly after paying for just two ang ku kuehs - both in the boy's hands.
Realizing the shit she had gotten herself into (yet again), she quickened her steps toward the massage parlor. Boy followed in hot pursuit, "Auntie! You need umbrella!"
"No! No need! And I think you should go home now. The rain is not so heavy now."
But alas! The boy in the old crooked glasses wouldn't relent. He followed right behind Auntie Fatmama's heels to the front door of the massage parlor.
Getting a little flustered, yet trying her best to retain the sweet tone, Auntie Fatmama instructed, "Ok, I am here at my shop. Go home now, before your mom starts wondering where you are."
"No. I don't want to go home yet, it's still raining. Can I come in with you, sit there and wait?"
Auntie Fatmama huffed in mild exasperation, and gave up.
The boy went in and created a nuisance of himself in the shop, messing with all the stuff he could possibly lay his hands on.
Before she went in to the room, Auntie Fatmama apologized profusely to the counter-girl for his behavior, adding a last disclaimer: "I don't know him one. Just send him home when I go in. Please."
Fresh from her hour-long massage session, Auntie Fatmama realized. She had just, barely an hour ago, been picked up by a freakin' eleven-year-old in old crooked glasses, conned by his umbrella offer, and parted with her moolah for a couple of ang ku kuehs.
Sigh.
Boy ah boy... you fuckin' had me at "hello...".
*****
See... boys will be boys.
No matter what age they may be, boys will always be boys and give you trouble no less.
When will I ever fuckin' learn?
I Need A Massage Bed... NOW
I had really meant to put them all down in words. But this empty 'create-new-post' page has been staring blankly at me for the past two hours, waiting for me to say something. And I am beginning to feel a tad queasy. What an embarrassment.
There... I hope this make-do rubbish pleases you abit.
So I think I need to think through my thoughts first. Plus, my neck is so fuckin' killing me, I think I need a massage more now.
When my neck can hold my head up again, maybe then I'll think better.
There... I hope this make-do rubbish pleases you abit.
So I think I need to think through my thoughts first. Plus, my neck is so fuckin' killing me, I think I need a massage more now.
When my neck can hold my head up again, maybe then I'll think better.
Shanghai Baby
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
I got it. I got it. I got it!
I love my Big Guy. The phonecall came barely minutes after I last hit the 'publish' button earlier in the day.
From then, I knew I must have done something right, somewhere.
And I know, this can't go wrong.
Something baffled me, though.
The sudden outpour of sympathy from the sky that ensued for hours and hours into the night, after days of quiet rains marring the sun's effort to resurface.
As if the heavens know that we are parting again.
I got it. I got it. I got it!
I love my Big Guy. The phonecall came barely minutes after I last hit the 'publish' button earlier in the day.
From then, I knew I must have done something right, somewhere.
And I know, this can't go wrong.
Something baffled me, though.
The sudden outpour of sympathy from the sky that ensued for hours and hours into the night, after days of quiet rains marring the sun's effort to resurface.
As if the heavens know that we are parting again.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Private Number
"... it's yours now, you decide..."
Sweet.
I know what I would decide. I am a big girl now. :)
Sweet.
I know what I would decide. I am a big girl now. :)
Brilliant Idiot
(The quoted comments were made in reference to my msn nicks.)
17:29:26 WTF: how come u suddenly brillant?
17:29:26 WTF: i tot u were just idiotic last week?
Yes, babe. Thanks for pointing it out to me.
I think I'm a brilliant idiot. And it is possible.
Last week, I was also a kan-cheong spider.
This week, I am still a fuckin' kan-cheong spider.
Last week, I was cracking up my brains, thinking what rubbish to write about.
This week, I am cracking my brain from writing too much rubbish.
Please lah, Big Guy. Please spare me from your tricks.
It's already Thursday.
Please just give it to me. You know I want it real bad.
*paws crossed... paws crossed... paws crossed... paws crossed... paws crossed...*
17:29:26 WTF: how come u suddenly brillant?
17:29:26 WTF: i tot u were just idiotic last week?
Yes, babe. Thanks for pointing it out to me.
I think I'm a brilliant idiot. And it is possible.
Last week, I was also a kan-cheong spider.
This week, I am still a fuckin' kan-cheong spider.
Last week, I was cracking up my brains, thinking what rubbish to write about.
This week, I am cracking my brain from writing too much rubbish.
Please lah, Big Guy. Please spare me from your tricks.
It's already Thursday.
Please just give it to me. You know I want it real bad.
*paws crossed... paws crossed... paws crossed... paws crossed... paws crossed...*
Six Months Later
We used to talk about our kids together. Between us, we had five.
"How's Piper?"
"How's Mac Mac?"
"Let's go to the beach this Sunday with the kids."
"Shall we do brunch at Botanics? We can bring the kids then."
Nowsadays...
"Ok, I am going to bring your Sam for his swim this Sunday. It's ok if you cannot make it, ok?"
"How's my mommy doing?"
Between the two of us, my best babe is the one to really grow up into real adulthood. Me? I'm still stuck somewhere in my Peter-Pan world, I suppose. I'd be glad if someone thinks at least I behave like a twenty-one year-old.
Not that I mind. Whether I am your real-adult friend, or you are my Tinkerbell, or not... I know you will always be my bestest babe.
"But Marcus really quite cute hor....I have my yahoo profile pic on my desktop, his smile so big, I melt each time I see.....haha....mummy complimenting her own baby! Xiao."
Yes, yes, sweety.
Auntie Fatmama also thinks also that your Marcus is super-duper cute. :)
"How's Piper?"
"How's Mac Mac?"
"Let's go to the beach this Sunday with the kids."
"Shall we do brunch at Botanics? We can bring the kids then."
Nowsadays...
"Ok, I am going to bring your Sam for his swim this Sunday. It's ok if you cannot make it, ok?"
"How's my mommy doing?"
Between the two of us, my best babe is the one to really grow up into real adulthood. Me? I'm still stuck somewhere in my Peter-Pan world, I suppose. I'd be glad if someone thinks at least I behave like a twenty-one year-old.
Not that I mind. Whether I am your real-adult friend, or you are my Tinkerbell, or not... I know you will always be my bestest babe.
"But Marcus really quite cute hor....I have my yahoo profile pic on my desktop, his smile so big, I melt each time I see.....haha....mummy complimenting her own baby! Xiao."
Yes, yes, sweety.
Auntie Fatmama also thinks also that your Marcus is super-duper cute. :)
Green Carded
I love Kate Spade.
I love my Kate Spade. :)
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
"Mine"
Early in the morning, eight-forty-four...
Hann-y: I left my wallet at home. Can help me collect on the way here? I buy lunch :-(
Me: Okie. Who's home?
Hann-y: Mine.
Doh!
It has been a while, quite a long while, since you've left me with some originalfatmama-worthy wisecracks. Not that you had some, urm... wit to impress me this morning, but duh-ness works for me as well.
My boy, I think I figured why I could tell you were simply out of sorts for the past many many weeks, without even us having any form of contact. Somehow, strangely, just over the virtual space where you and I see each other everyday but never speak - I know you're not you.
Because you don't give me the shit I like anymore. =/
Dude, you'll always know where I am. Where I might end up. I promise.
Just promise me you'll go back to you again - soon.
Hann-y: I left my wallet at home. Can help me collect on the way here? I buy lunch :-(
Me: Okie. Who's home?
Hann-y: Mine.
Doh!
It has been a while, quite a long while, since you've left me with some originalfatmama-worthy wisecracks. Not that you had some, urm... wit to impress me this morning, but duh-ness works for me as well.
My boy, I think I figured why I could tell you were simply out of sorts for the past many many weeks, without even us having any form of contact. Somehow, strangely, just over the virtual space where you and I see each other everyday but never speak - I know you're not you.
Because you don't give me the shit I like anymore. =/
Dude, you'll always know where I am. Where I might end up. I promise.
Just promise me you'll go back to you again - soon.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Superheroine
15:14:54 Monster*: Strangely, I dreamt of you last night.
15:15:08 Monster: Strange strange dream.
15:15:20 Monster: You were dressed up as Wonder Woman.
Oh? So now I am Wonder Woman.
I prefer being Superwoman. Don't like Linda Carter... too old.
*Name has been amended to protect the identity of the supposed innocent.
15:15:08 Monster: Strange strange dream.
15:15:20 Monster: You were dressed up as Wonder Woman.
Oh? So now I am Wonder Woman.
I prefer being Superwoman. Don't like Linda Carter... too old.
*Name has been amended to protect the identity of the supposed innocent.
Things That Make Me (The Cheapskate) Go Hmm...
Hmm... number one:
Free wireless broadband access for StarHub customers!
Thank you for subscribing to StarHub Wireless Broadband service.
As our valued customer, you can enjoy free wireless broadband service at all StarHub hotspots in Singapore! With effect from your January 2007 bill, the monthly subscription of $10.50 (w/GST) for your Wireless Broadband service will be waived completely and you can surf wirelessly for free at all StarHub hotspots using your existing Hub ID accounts.
No action is required on your part. All you need to do is to sit back and enjoy your wireless online world with us.
Thank you for your support and happy surfing!
And it is high time, too.
I thank you.
Hmm... number two:
The hawk spied one chick as she tottered in, stealthily removed himself from his original position to a more strategic spot, and stayed there the entire night, eyeing the two chicks at the other side of the bar.
Of course, the first chick had noticed. Not because the hawk was a hunky-dory one, but because she smelt danger lurking.
Nonetheless, to prevent feathers from being unnecessarily ruffled, the first chick swiftly engaged the second chick in a deep, girly conversation (mostly about some other cocks - pun intended).
The jokes and laughter brought about much merry-making, the wild chirps and giggles of the chicks resonating the quiet bar. The chicks made no delay in ordering plate after plate of food (some absolutely sinful chicken wings, no less), glass after glass of whites.
When the clock struck half-past-eight, the second chick excused herself from the merry-making to partake in a phonecall. The first chick, still sensing menace five feet away, brought forth her always-steady-always-ready laptop, and began writing some "important" emails and then chatting with her virtual friends.
"Anything. Anything to keep me busy. Even if there's nothing, I'll just pretend to laugh at the computer - I'm good at that," thought the poor first chick.
At half-past-nine, the hawk finally struck.
Expressing mock horror on their faces, the two chicks eyed the freshly-served whites for a few seconds, before putting on their most innocently quizzical looks: "Erm, we didn't order two more leh."
As if on cue, the two chicks turned slowly toward the hawk. The hawk smiled, gave a sly nod, and waved a couple of his fat fingers.
"Urgh. Gross," thought the first chick.
Picking up the new white, she did a little toast-in-the-air to the hawk and put on her fakest smile ever as a gesture of unwilling thanks. But not before giving the white a suspicious whiff. "I'll kill him if it's not Wolf Blass."
Immediately after, she threw herself back into her imaginery laughter with her imaginery friends inside the laptop.
Not less than fifteen long minutes later, the hawk moved again.
"Damn," the first chick groaned. But from the corner of her eyes, she noticed the hawk was giving up on his prey; he was getting up and ready to leave. Her brilliant tactic had worked!
But what the awesome first chick hadn't realized was that her brilliance transcends way beyond her own imagination.
The hawk had picked up their tab before departing, preyless, despite weak protests from the first chick.
"No lah! Please! No need!" And then, silence.
Poor dude, the first chick thought the next day while she was checking out her poop.
Of all the chicks in the house, the silly hawk had to pick the two that ate and drank the most.
Sigh, what a cock.
Free wireless broadband access for StarHub customers!
Thank you for subscribing to StarHub Wireless Broadband service.
As our valued customer, you can enjoy free wireless broadband service at all StarHub hotspots in Singapore! With effect from your January 2007 bill, the monthly subscription of $10.50 (w/GST) for your Wireless Broadband service will be waived completely and you can surf wirelessly for free at all StarHub hotspots using your existing Hub ID accounts.
No action is required on your part. All you need to do is to sit back and enjoy your wireless online world with us.
Thank you for your support and happy surfing!
And it is high time, too.
I thank you.
Hmm... number two:
The hawk spied one chick as she tottered in, stealthily removed himself from his original position to a more strategic spot, and stayed there the entire night, eyeing the two chicks at the other side of the bar.
Of course, the first chick had noticed. Not because the hawk was a hunky-dory one, but because she smelt danger lurking.
Nonetheless, to prevent feathers from being unnecessarily ruffled, the first chick swiftly engaged the second chick in a deep, girly conversation (mostly about some other cocks - pun intended).
The jokes and laughter brought about much merry-making, the wild chirps and giggles of the chicks resonating the quiet bar. The chicks made no delay in ordering plate after plate of food (some absolutely sinful chicken wings, no less), glass after glass of whites.
When the clock struck half-past-eight, the second chick excused herself from the merry-making to partake in a phonecall. The first chick, still sensing menace five feet away, brought forth her always-steady-always-ready laptop, and began writing some "important" emails and then chatting with her virtual friends.
"Anything. Anything to keep me busy. Even if there's nothing, I'll just pretend to laugh at the computer - I'm good at that," thought the poor first chick.
At half-past-nine, the hawk finally struck.
Expressing mock horror on their faces, the two chicks eyed the freshly-served whites for a few seconds, before putting on their most innocently quizzical looks: "Erm, we didn't order two more leh."
As if on cue, the two chicks turned slowly toward the hawk. The hawk smiled, gave a sly nod, and waved a couple of his fat fingers.
"Urgh. Gross," thought the first chick.
Picking up the new white, she did a little toast-in-the-air to the hawk and put on her fakest smile ever as a gesture of unwilling thanks. But not before giving the white a suspicious whiff. "I'll kill him if it's not Wolf Blass."
Immediately after, she threw herself back into her imaginery laughter with her imaginery friends inside the laptop.
Not less than fifteen long minutes later, the hawk moved again.
"Damn," the first chick groaned. But from the corner of her eyes, she noticed the hawk was giving up on his prey; he was getting up and ready to leave. Her brilliant tactic had worked!
But what the awesome first chick hadn't realized was that her brilliance transcends way beyond her own imagination.
The hawk had picked up their tab before departing, preyless, despite weak protests from the first chick.
"No lah! Please! No need!" And then, silence.
Poor dude, the first chick thought the next day while she was checking out her poop.
Of all the chicks in the house, the silly hawk had to pick the two that ate and drank the most.
Sigh, what a cock.
"Klutz"
Okay, so I have two hugantic gimongous humongously gigantic bruises on my legs, both freshly acquired. One like the size of a big chicken-egg on my right knee, the other the size of a small chicken-egg on the top of my left foot (and I'm really not kidding). How the heck they got nestled there, you don't really have to know.
But what I'd like to assure you is that they do hurt like crazy-mad.
I can't even walk. Heck, I'm limping, for goodness' sake. I don't even think I can sleep in peace tonight. Owww...
I wonder if physical injuries like these justify a declaration of "day off" from my sweet family doctor...
But what I'd like to assure you is that they do hurt like crazy-mad.
I can't even walk. Heck, I'm limping, for goodness' sake. I don't even think I can sleep in peace tonight. Owww...
I wonder if physical injuries like these justify a declaration of "day off" from my sweet family doctor...
Monday, January 08, 2007
ME Inc. Rebuilt
The weather still hasn't turned anywhere near 'nice' ever since...
It starts off being awesome in the morning, then goes awry just when it's the usual time I jump into the water. It's just awful.
(And I need to digress abit. I seem to be loving anything "aw".)
My Sasy-chick laments today (over a very nicely articulated email). And we all rightfully should, after weeks of merry-making (which involves, at the very basic level, booze and food of various sorts) that I hope have culminated with some whiskey+Tequila and lots of mushrooms-and-beef-in-a-hotpot over the sinful weekend that had just ended.
"Transcending beyond the financial impact from the craze are damages far greater than the monetary losses. I have aged tens of years and suffered bloating typical of pregnancy only. And till now, my cravings for liquor and food have not diminished."
I swear to God, I absolutely empathize. The bloating part. And especially the last sentence. =/
This is officially the second week of the new and still-hopeful year. So, I hope all mychicks friends go back to work, and stay right there.
You all complacent fellas have no idea how much I am d-y-y-y-i-n-g to get started on work again.
*****
I was inspired sometime one week ago by someone who claimed my blog was "very inspiring".
"... i guess if i didn't know you and i happen to stumble across your blog, i would really think you were some kind of superwoman... you seem to have all the energy in this world... the travelling, your me time, your passion to work, your girls, and many more... and best part, you still have time to write abt them..."
Me? A superwoman? "Super" like the dude who flies around in his underwear saving innocent lives from harm and evil when he's not busy pretending to be a reporter? Or, "super" like the woman who puts breakfast at your table early in the morning and makes sure that your coffee has its sugar and cream?
Got meh?
Yeah, maybe if we're looking at how I 'manage' my 24-hours everyday and squeeze in tons of activities like there's no tomorrow for me, then yeah, maybe I'm super-duper at that.
In any other case, erm... I really don't think so, 'cause I can already hear mychicks friends laughing like idiots in front of their computer screens.
Nonetheless, the conversation ensued into the night, and when it finally ended, I was still very inspired. To try and see the 'me' that my newfound friend thought he saw.
And so, I decided I had to revisit my entire blog - right from Day One.
It became a timely task anyway, since I have been for a while toying with the idea of starting a new blog. And it surely didn't turn out to be that bad an idea, because I suddenly remembered 'me', and because it unexpectedly brought me much laughter and tears (much more of the former than the latter, thank goodness).
And I needed that.
I remember, now, how I used to write, how I used to be long ago in 2005. And then I remember as well, how I was frantically searching for the same passion in 2006. I remember now how desperate I was just to write, anything just to keep my sanity.
I was 'me', then I unknowingly became someone else, some figment of who I ought to be.
Looking back, I laugh a little. I was being so silly I thought at some point, I was actually quite cute. I cringe when I read some, and then I stop wanting to read the rest. Then there were those I read, and re-read again, amazed at how I could have conjured up all that 'intense wit' then. It was a fun trip.
But the best part of it all? When I look at the past and the present, and all the unappetizing bits in between, I am so darn proud of myself. The winding roads I took, the endless pits I threw myself into and then crawled out of, the pathetic attempts at self-jibing and then self-prodding. I took a long time, yes, but that probably wasn't the point.
Point is, I have learned through my own ways that I am lucky to have me.
That was probably how I got here today. In one whole piece - maybe band-aided a little here and there, but still one fuckin' whole piece.
Nobody's pat on your own back feels better than the one you're finally able to give yourself.
Surely, there are still some issues to sort out.
There's the drinking. The what-if-I-don't-get-that-darned-job worries. The drinking. The what-the-fuck-am-I-thinking/doing distractions. The drinking. And the future I have to recreate from scratch.
But I am trying to worry less.
I've learned it is actually fun to just focus on being 'ME', the good old one plus some good new bits. Smack myself in the head once in a while, laugh hard at my stupidness, open my mind and take in all the good stuff in the world and sieve out the bad ones, then work on being good to myself.
I promise, I will be happy and I will laugh everyday in 2007. And beyond.
I remember saying this sometime long ago. Or, maybe not that long ago.
I am going to be 'me'. Take it, or leave it. =)
It starts off being awesome in the morning, then goes awry just when it's the usual time I jump into the water. It's just awful.
(And I need to digress abit. I seem to be loving anything "aw".)
My Sasy-chick laments today (over a very nicely articulated email). And we all rightfully should, after weeks of merry-making (which involves, at the very basic level, booze and food of various sorts) that I hope have culminated with some whiskey+Tequila and lots of mushrooms-and-beef-in-a-hotpot over the sinful weekend that had just ended.
"Transcending beyond the financial impact from the craze are damages far greater than the monetary losses. I have aged tens of years and suffered bloating typical of pregnancy only. And till now, my cravings for liquor and food have not diminished."
I swear to God, I absolutely empathize. The bloating part. And especially the last sentence. =/
This is officially the second week of the new and still-hopeful year. So, I hope all my
You all complacent fellas have no idea how much I am d-y-y-y-i-n-g to get started on work again.
*****
I was inspired sometime one week ago by someone who claimed my blog was "very inspiring".
"... i guess if i didn't know you and i happen to stumble across your blog, i would really think you were some kind of superwoman... you seem to have all the energy in this world... the travelling, your me time, your passion to work, your girls, and many more... and best part, you still have time to write abt them..."
Me? A superwoman? "Super" like the dude who flies around in his underwear saving innocent lives from harm and evil when he's not busy pretending to be a reporter? Or, "super" like the woman who puts breakfast at your table early in the morning and makes sure that your coffee has its sugar and cream?
Got meh?
Yeah, maybe if we're looking at how I 'manage' my 24-hours everyday and squeeze in tons of activities like there's no tomorrow for me, then yeah, maybe I'm super-duper at that.
In any other case, erm... I really don't think so, 'cause I can already hear my
Nonetheless, the conversation ensued into the night, and when it finally ended, I was still very inspired. To try and see the 'me' that my newfound friend thought he saw.
And so, I decided I had to revisit my entire blog - right from Day One.
It became a timely task anyway, since I have been for a while toying with the idea of starting a new blog. And it surely didn't turn out to be that bad an idea, because I suddenly remembered 'me', and because it unexpectedly brought me much laughter and tears (much more of the former than the latter, thank goodness).
And I needed that.
I remember, now, how I used to write, how I used to be long ago in 2005. And then I remember as well, how I was frantically searching for the same passion in 2006. I remember now how desperate I was just to write, anything just to keep my sanity.
I was 'me', then I unknowingly became someone else, some figment of who I ought to be.
Looking back, I laugh a little. I was being so silly I thought at some point, I was actually quite cute. I cringe when I read some, and then I stop wanting to read the rest. Then there were those I read, and re-read again, amazed at how I could have conjured up all that 'intense wit' then. It was a fun trip.
But the best part of it all? When I look at the past and the present, and all the unappetizing bits in between, I am so darn proud of myself. The winding roads I took, the endless pits I threw myself into and then crawled out of, the pathetic attempts at self-jibing and then self-prodding. I took a long time, yes, but that probably wasn't the point.
Point is, I have learned through my own ways that I am lucky to have me.
That was probably how I got here today. In one whole piece - maybe band-aided a little here and there, but still one fuckin' whole piece.
Nobody's pat on your own back feels better than the one you're finally able to give yourself.
Surely, there are still some issues to sort out.
There's the drinking. The what-if-I-don't-get-that-darned-job worries. The drinking. The what-the-fuck-am-I-thinking/doing distractions. The drinking. And the future I have to recreate from scratch.
But I am trying to worry less.
I've learned it is actually fun to just focus on being 'ME', the good old one plus some good new bits. Smack myself in the head once in a while, laugh hard at my stupidness, open my mind and take in all the good stuff in the world and sieve out the bad ones, then work on being good to myself.
I promise, I will be happy and I will laugh everyday in 2007. And beyond.
I remember saying this sometime long ago. Or, maybe not that long ago.
I am going to be 'me'. Take it, or leave it. =)
Friday, January 05, 2007
Wardrobe Malfunctions
Have I ever told you how much I love safety-pins? Yeah, those big-headed ugly things.
I can't figure it out too. I don't have boobs that could, under any circumstance, qualify for anything bigger than "Small". And surely I do not have fat, swollen ankles. I can't explain why buttons and buckles keep popping out then.
So. I love safety-pins.
The ugly things that hold up my life.
I can't figure it out too. I don't have boobs that could, under any circumstance, qualify for anything bigger than "Small". And surely I do not have fat, swollen ankles. I can't explain why buttons and buckles keep popping out then.
So. I love safety-pins.
The ugly things that hold up my life.
Insomniac
I can't fuckin' believe this.
I've been zzzless for the past three hours or so ever since I woke up with a startle half-past-three.
If I remember correctly, I think I belong with the third category of insomniacs. Then again, depending on which different stage of my adult-life we're talking about, I have fallen into the first two categories as well.
I suppose that makes me simply an insomniac.
If there was a trend, or "pattern", behind my frequent zzzlessness, it has definitely to do with the alcohol imbibing. Or more appropriately, the lack thereof.
My smart-ass theory has been, unfortunately, proven accurate over and over again. The "pattern" resurfaced just this week.
Tell me: between some chloroform, a sledgehammer and a bottle of sake, which would you have chosen yourself?
Some 'other monster' proffered some words of wisdom - sans the intense wits, thank god.
"A warm glass of milk... with a boring book will put you to sleep right away... if not, go to the doc and get some valium or xanax."
Too bad, I don't do milk. And warm soya-bean milk just... just tastes all wrong.
Too bad as well, I don't happen to own any boring book, and I can't switch on the reading lamp anyway. But I do have this two-year-old blog, which I've been trying to re-read right from the beginning for the past few days. Yes, it is that boring.
Actually, all I really want now is a nice hot plate of "zhay bee hoon". Mmm mmm...
*****
Maybe, it's really the lack of intoxication the night before.
Maybe, it's all the intensifying thoughts about life-adventures and selling coconut juice flying through my unrested mind.
Maybe, it's just the gan-cheongness about the impending phonecall in the afternoon.
Or maybe... it's just my growling stomach. =/
I've been zzzless for the past three hours or so ever since I woke up with a startle half-past-three.
If I remember correctly, I think I belong with the third category of insomniacs. Then again, depending on which different stage of my adult-life we're talking about, I have fallen into the first two categories as well.
I suppose that makes me simply an insomniac.
If there was a trend, or "pattern", behind my frequent zzzlessness, it has definitely to do with the alcohol imbibing. Or more appropriately, the lack thereof.
My smart-ass theory has been, unfortunately, proven accurate over and over again. The "pattern" resurfaced just this week.
Tell me: between some chloroform, a sledgehammer and a bottle of sake, which would you have chosen yourself?
Some 'other monster' proffered some words of wisdom - sans the intense wits, thank god.
"A warm glass of milk... with a boring book will put you to sleep right away... if not, go to the doc and get some valium or xanax."
Too bad, I don't do milk. And warm soya-bean milk just... just tastes all wrong.
Too bad as well, I don't happen to own any boring book, and I can't switch on the reading lamp anyway. But I do have this two-year-old blog, which I've been trying to re-read right from the beginning for the past few days. Yes, it is that boring.
Actually, all I really want now is a nice hot plate of "zhay bee hoon". Mmm mmm...
*****
Maybe, it's really the lack of intoxication the night before.
Maybe, it's all the intensifying thoughts about life-adventures and selling coconut juice flying through my unrested mind.
Maybe, it's just the gan-cheongness about the impending phonecall in the afternoon.
Or maybe... it's just my growling stomach. =/
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Zzzless
My favorite zzz monster has eluded me of late.
Please, monster, please come back to me.
Please.
Please, monster, please come back to me.
Please.
That Darned "Bling" Party
Finally... scenes from that one crazy night, amidst plenty others, in Hong Kong.
Just a couple, though.
'Cause I have been specifically instructed to put up on public display "only these few".
Not that I minded. I rubbed shoulders with Jamiroquai, okay!
And yes, that was me in a pathetic attempt to do a "J-fuckin'-Lo". And I promise I would never torture you folks back home the same way.
I so love my newly-acquired bling jacket, though. Hail, lian-hood!
=/
I miss the Kong, still.
Just a couple, though.
'Cause I have been specifically instructed to put up on public display "only these few".
Not that I minded. I rubbed shoulders with Jamiroquai, okay!
And yes, that was me in a pathetic attempt to do a "J-fuckin'-Lo". And I promise I would never torture you folks back home the same way.
I so love my newly-acquired bling jacket, though. Hail, lian-hood!
=/
I miss the Kong, still.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Awesome
Is it ever possible to have someone whom you've known for barely fuckin' three weeks, telling you you're a changed person since the day you first met?
A change supposedly for the better, it even seems.
Even for a silly dreamy girl like me who lives in a different planet, it does seem a little too cheesy. Too cheesy for words. So cheesy I have to crack my brains figuring out which fuckin' movie(s) that line came from. So cheesy I have to laugh... and real hard to myself because I don't really know if I should honestly laugh or cry.
Did that too come out from your little red book?
Then again, I have unwillingly come to agree with this someone. Though not entirely.
Because I know the change in question has taken place over a period of not just three fuckin' weeks, but a whole eighteen months.
In eighteen months, you could've seen a newborn make his first steps on his own; you could've witness a girlfriend meeting the "one" and actually getting blissfully married; you could've seen a business rise and actually fall; you could've seen how a nation get destructed by natural calamities and yet get back on her feet with fervor.
Yes, eighteen months. It's that long, yet that short a time.
That's how long I took.
But time is not the issue. The point is, I am changed.
And for the better, only I fucking know.
Awesome.
That's the only word I can think of - pardon my lack of a better vocabulary perhaps - for the occurrences in my life that have taken place in just the past few weeks of my 2006.
A-W-E-S-O-M-E.
*****
Dear 2006,
I love you.
For all the shit you've given me, I still love you.
Because you brought me good shit toward the very fuckin' end. Screw all the seemingly bad things, because they only served to lead me to the good ones. You had meant for that to happen, didn't you, 2006?
I trust you.
Thank you for sending me off on a nice journey toward 2007.
Whatever happened in 2006 shall remain in 2006.
Just like how I tried telling myself, whatever happened in the Kong should stay in the Kong. 'Cept, maybe it didn't.
Right. No more mushy words from me, 2006.
You have a good peaceful rest... and I will always fucking remember you, 2006.
You have been fucking awesome.
Cheers,
ME
A change supposedly for the better, it even seems.
Even for a silly dreamy girl like me who lives in a different planet, it does seem a little too cheesy. Too cheesy for words. So cheesy I have to crack my brains figuring out which fuckin' movie(s) that line came from. So cheesy I have to laugh... and real hard to myself because I don't really know if I should honestly laugh or cry.
Did that too come out from your little red book?
Then again, I have unwillingly come to agree with this someone. Though not entirely.
Because I know the change in question has taken place over a period of not just three fuckin' weeks, but a whole eighteen months.
In eighteen months, you could've seen a newborn make his first steps on his own; you could've witness a girlfriend meeting the "one" and actually getting blissfully married; you could've seen a business rise and actually fall; you could've seen how a nation get destructed by natural calamities and yet get back on her feet with fervor.
Yes, eighteen months. It's that long, yet that short a time.
That's how long I took.
But time is not the issue. The point is, I am changed.
And for the better, only I fucking know.
Awesome.
That's the only word I can think of - pardon my lack of a better vocabulary perhaps - for the occurrences in my life that have taken place in just the past few weeks of my 2006.
A-W-E-S-O-M-E.
*****
Dear 2006,
I love you.
For all the shit you've given me, I still love you.
Because you brought me good shit toward the very fuckin' end. Screw all the seemingly bad things, because they only served to lead me to the good ones. You had meant for that to happen, didn't you, 2006?
I trust you.
Thank you for sending me off on a nice journey toward 2007.
Whatever happened in 2006 shall remain in 2006.
Just like how I tried telling myself, whatever happened in the Kong should stay in the Kong. 'Cept, maybe it didn't.
Right. No more mushy words from me, 2006.
You have a good peaceful rest... and I will always fucking remember you, 2006.
You have been fucking awesome.
Cheers,
ME
Friday, December 29, 2006
The Guardian Angel
If the world is my oyster...
... then I ought to be the pearl in the heart of it.
I like.
... then I ought to be the pearl in the heart of it.
I like.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Swoosh'd... Yet Again
I've said it once... and I'll say it once again.
You can take the girl out of the swoosh, but you can never take the swoosh out of the girl.
=)))
You can take the girl out of the swoosh, but you can never take the swoosh out of the girl.
=)))
Friday, December 15, 2006
Hongkie'd
Hello, from Hong Kong. Or, as my dude would say, the Kong.
And I know, I know. It's Day Eight here, and this 'hello' is a little bit way overdue.
Still, better late than never.
I can't decide if 'sloshed' or 'smashed' would be a more appropriate term, but anyhow, you get the idea. And it's absolutely killing everyone else here that I don't have to work "the next day" but hey... that's what I am here for in the first place.
To chill.
So, pardon me. I don't have that many pictures to show.
I am getting, though, a slight taste of what a tai-tai life might be. In a foreign land, no less.
I haven't much on my personal agenda while on vacation, except going shopping for household stuff. Wake up (at God-knows-what-hour-everyday), do laundry, clear trash, pick up dry-cleaning, then start searching for cheap and good pots/pans, chopsticks, spoons, towels, laundry nets, eggs, noodles, vegetables.
See, my brother Ed has just arrived in HK not more than two months ago, and his kitchen and bathroom look absolutely pathetic.
Me: I am going to get you nice chopsticks.
Ed: Chopsticks?!
Me: Yeah, hunny. Chopsticks. You should spend more effort in the kitchen details. Any girl who walks into your kitchen would be so impressed.
I am so darn proud of myself. I would so love a life like this.
In any case you haven't noticed, I am starting to like Hong Kong.
In fact... I am so fucking in love with this place.
So much so that I think I am finally ready for a big, big change. =)
Friday, December 08, 2006
All I Want For Christmas Is...
ME Inc. says: anyways wanted to tell u
ME Inc. says: flights over xmas period not possible
ME Inc. says: but maybe can get over jan-1 new year
法蘭基 says: suggest u to come over on 12/19 or 12/20 for nike charity event on 12/21.. might c 周杰倫 in the event
ME Inc. says: !!!
ME Inc. says: shucks
法蘭基 says: i thought you like him????
ME Inc. says: yes lor
ME Inc. says: but now how to get 12/20?
ME Inc. says: =(
Shuck shuck shucks.
Die die must find a way to get there in time.
Then again... it's a "might" only??? =/
ME Inc. says: flights over xmas period not possible
ME Inc. says: but maybe can get over jan-1 new year
法蘭基 says: suggest u to come over on 12/19 or 12/20 for nike charity event on 12/21.. might c 周杰倫 in the event
ME Inc. says: !!!
ME Inc. says: shucks
法蘭基 says: i thought you like him????
ME Inc. says: yes lor
ME Inc. says: but now how to get 12/20?
ME Inc. says: =(
Shuck shuck shucks.
Die die must find a way to get there in time.
Then again... it's a "might" only??? =/
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
辛福
Today, I am feeling very thankful. Very, very thankful, indeed.
For friends who have been around for me everyday for the past one year. Drinking. Crapping. Laughing. Singing. Dancing. Movie-ing. Dinnering. La-kopi-ing. Travelling. Running. Whatever I've wanted to do - I name it, I got it.
For friends who are having it tough in life. Because you see, life's just like that. And I am glad if I have been given that privileged opportunity to be a friend in return, and to give you that ear, that shoulder, or any body part that I possess.
For friends I've made over the past year, be they bartenders or wakeboarders or anything else. Because without them, I would probably never have known life otherwise.
And most of all, for friends all around the globe. Because without them, I wouldn't have had all these free accommodation while I go on my mission to see the world and discover new stuff. Wahaha.
Love you all.
Love,
ME
For friends who have been around for me everyday for the past one year. Drinking. Crapping. Laughing. Singing. Dancing. Movie-ing. Dinnering. La-kopi-ing. Travelling. Running. Whatever I've wanted to do - I name it, I got it.
For friends who are having it tough in life. Because you see, life's just like that. And I am glad if I have been given that privileged opportunity to be a friend in return, and to give you that ear, that shoulder, or any body part that I possess.
For friends I've made over the past year, be they bartenders or wakeboarders or anything else. Because without them, I would probably never have known life otherwise.
And most of all, for friends all around the globe. Because without them, I wouldn't have had all these free accommodation while I go on my mission to see the world and discover new stuff. Wahaha.
Love you all.
Love,
ME
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
I Love Today
The sky looks really beautiful today. And so is the sea at east coast. =)
Never mind that it also means it's a hot day. But so deliriously high the sight made me, I decided to pop a surprise note over the phone messages to my favorite peoples, with some faint hope of maybe, just maybe, brightening up someone's day.
(And also, to see if my office-cooped buddies would be irritated, or sugar-coated by my sweet message. Hiak.)
Just see what kind of responses I received. LOL!
The Sugar-coated
AKoh: Enjoy. :)
The Philosophical
Hapyfish: It's the might of the sun at its best. Glaring, isn't it?
The Unresponsive
Les: Yeah. Was just at upp peirce reservoir.
The Envious
Dee: So envious.
The Delusional Deskbound Workaholic
San: Damn! my comp screen looks v bright and shiny too.
The Louis-Armstrong-Spouting Polyester Wonder
SLM: Haha days like this you feel the world is so wonderful eh? Enjoy!
The Pissed
Stef: Disgustg!
The REALLY PISSED
Sng: WHAT ARE YOU TELLING ME TT I SHUD B OUT THERE
The *Huh?!*
Gan: so are u going to e beach w your beloved dogs?
The Patronizing One
Hann: Ha lucky you.
The Little Big Sis
Lyn: :-) pity i'm stuck in office. Boo!
The "Angelic" One
Skyboy: Bloody hell... So lucky...
The Foul-Mouthed
Cucumber: u suck. the view from my desk is not that good.
The Mood-Fouler
Bing: bt i tnk its goin to rain lata.
And the winner is...
The Idiot
Karks: You drunk at this time liao ah?
*****
Skyboy: Bloody hell... So lucky... How ya doing?
Me: =) as great as the bright blue sky.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
2 Takes & No NGs
I was play-acting "a young woman jogging in the park".
"Oh, erm... best sporting moment? I guess there are many, but the best has gotta be Tiger winning his first major after his dad died. It was so touching I almost cried."
And of course, I was lying.
"Done? Fast or wat."
"Good wat. No NG, wat to do?"
Free labour for the job.
One pathetic jab at fame.
I need a hole in the ground.
p.s.: I don't fucking jog lor.
"Oh, erm... best sporting moment? I guess there are many, but the best has gotta be Tiger winning his first major after his dad died. It was so touching I almost cried."
And of course, I was lying.
"Done? Fast or wat."
"Good wat. No NG, wat to do?"
Free labour for the job.
One pathetic jab at fame.
I need a hole in the ground.
p.s.: I don't fucking jog lor.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Everything But "Remember The Man"... Hmph!
Maxims I used to work by, but now live by.
Four: Simplify and go.
Five: The consumer - which is ME - decides.
Six: Be a sponge.
Seven: Evolve immediately.
Eight: Do the right thing.
Nine: Master the fundamentals.
Pretty amazing, they are. How these words, as simple as they may seem, trickle down to every single aspect of your life.
Pretty much like that damned 'Just Do It' shit.
Four: Simplify and go.
Five: The consumer - which is ME - decides.
Six: Be a sponge.
Seven: Evolve immediately.
Eight: Do the right thing.
Nine: Master the fundamentals.
Pretty amazing, they are. How these words, as simple as they may seem, trickle down to every single aspect of your life.
Pretty much like that damned 'Just Do It' shit.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
"Got Tissue Paper?"
I returned to the trail today - at long last. And I realized I had forgotten how gruelling it is.
Ten-point-five click in sixty-four minutes. Not quite by my usual standards - tsk. But given the state I've been in, I am actually more pleased than not.
Ouch, my knee is already starting to click every now and then.
I missed a date with Mr Funny tonight, but I am ok.
'Cos I am going to the beach with him tomorrow - and of course, together with my Sam-boy.
Mr Grouch gave me a surprise nudge today. =)
Mr Grouch baffles me. He makes me laugh, yet makes me fearful other times.
Sometimes I don't want it to go away, yet most other times... I wish it does.
Ten-point-five click in sixty-four minutes. Not quite by my usual standards - tsk. But given the state I've been in, I am actually more pleased than not.
Ouch, my knee is already starting to click every now and then.
I missed a date with Mr Funny tonight, but I am ok.
'Cos I am going to the beach with him tomorrow - and of course, together with my Sam-boy.
Mr Grouch gave me a surprise nudge today. =)
Mr Grouch baffles me. He makes me laugh, yet makes me fearful other times.
Sometimes I don't want it to go away, yet most other times... I wish it does.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
"Anti-social"
I just can never understand.
How some folks can have four hundred over friends on their Friendster list. How can? My primary-school classmates times ten, also not that many.
But I'm not complaining. I'm just perplexed.
At my age, I should even be glad I have a blawdy Friendster account. Huh.
How some folks can have four hundred over friends on their Friendster list. How can? My primary-school classmates times ten, also not that many.
But I'm not complaining. I'm just perplexed.
At my age, I should even be glad I have a blawdy Friendster account. Huh.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Choices
A pretty timely email I received. Just when self-doubt was kicking in.
Each of us has two distinct choices to make about what we will do with our lives. The first choice we can make is to be less than we have the capacity to be. To earn less. To have less. To read less and think less. To try less and discipline ourselves less. These are the choices that lead to an empty life. These are the choices that, once made, lead to a life of constant apprehension instead of a life of wondrous anticipation.
And the second choice? To do it all! To become all that we can possibly be. To read every book that we possibly can. To earn as much as we possibly can. To give and share as much as we possibly can. To strive and produce and accomplish as much as we possibly can. All of us have the choice.
To do or not to do. To be or not to be. To be all or to be less or to be nothing at all.
Like the tree, it would be a worthy challenge for us all to stretch upward and outward to the full measure of our capabilities. Why not do all that we can, every moment that we can, the best that we can, for as long as we can?
Our ultimate life objective should be to create as much as our talent and ability and desire will permit. To settle for doing less than we could do is to fail in this worthiest of undertakings.
Results are the best measurement of human progress. Not conversation. Not explanation. Not justification. Results! And if our results are less than our potential suggests that they should be, then we must strive to become more today than we were the day before. The greatest rewards are always reserved for those who bring great value to themselves and the world around them as a result of who and what they have become.
Jim Rohn
격려!
격려!
Bitches on Wheels
BMW started an ad campaign:
Audi answered:
Then, the Japanese had something to say too:
Bentley CEO's opinion on the beauty contest:
Fookin' awesome.
Audi answered:
Then, the Japanese had something to say too:
Bentley CEO's opinion on the beauty contest:
Fookin' awesome.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
重返秋明山
I almost forgot.
Number seven has got to be my new DVD. =)
I remember vividly, this movie was exactly what got me hooked to him - though I already owned a couple of his music albums then. After the movie experience, I went on to the CD store to swipe the rest. Well, except for that elusive one.
I remember too, that this was my first and only movie caught under the moonlight at the Starlight Cinema last year.
And. Our first and only movie since too.
我踏上風火輪 在飄移青春
故事中的我們 在演自己的人生
Number seven has got to be my new DVD. =)
I remember vividly, this movie was exactly what got me hooked to him - though I already owned a couple of his music albums then. After the movie experience, I went on to the CD store to swipe the rest. Well, except for that elusive one.
I remember too, that this was my first and only movie caught under the moonlight at the Starlight Cinema last year.
And. Our first and only movie since too.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Ha Ha HA!!!
Hmm... let me count the many little ways my life has been brightened up in a short one week.
One: Out of absolutely no intention of my own, I was "invited" to test-drive a couple of cars, one of which being a long-time crush - the Forester. I now declare my adoration for that lean, mean, 4WD machine. But even more so, I so lust after that damned Focus ST. Having a little more power than what I already enjoy doesn't hurt, does it? I am already fantasizing - I'd have it painted all over classic-green with white stripes, or maybe green with pink polkadots to be a little more madcapped. Anyhoos, an "upgrade" makes me feel less guilty.
Two: I keep getting people who make wrong guesses about my age. If it's not 18, it's 22. Being mistaken for a student is sometimes frustrating, but sometimes - I admit - very flattering too. I can't decide if I should credit it to the beauty creams I've spent a fortune on, or the clothes I've been wearing. But since I know I haven't been very disciplined with the regime, I shall suppose I've just been a little too casual in my dressing. So what? Does it mean I can actually cast a wider net and scoop the younger ones now??? =/
Three: I met up with many lots ex-coworkers at the annual CCK Hari Raya dinner party. One that I couldn't for the life of me miss, lest I get dropped from the party list next year. Ha. It's that prestigious. With all the little offsprings running around, I just had to admit: the days when I ever was the baby in the company were long over. Oh, and I chop-stamp-confirm, I really do make a darned good nanny. Any takers?
Four: I ran and swam and ran and swam till I can feel my limbs no more. Yes, the muscles are starting to bulge again, which renders my efforts at squeezing into my size-0 jeans again useless, but the ensuing pride more than makes up for that fact. 'Squeezing' is not the point. 'Perfect-fitting' is.
Five: I am labelled "funny". By my Ryan-Giggs-lookalike crush, no less. A crush that happened only sporadically in those days when I still travelled to the campus in Portland three miserable times a year. A crush that unbelievably appeared in front of me in Ice Cold Beer last week, and actually told me he remembered me though we had never spoken before. A crush who is going to be staying in this tiny little island as I do for the next six months. A crush who has stored my sacred number in his new cellphone and has since been talking to me via text messages since last week. A crush who told me he was about to leave for HK and would talk to me again later part of the week. If you could now, you would see a contorted look on my face. Erm. What now? I might have been a little too delirious last week, but... I still fucking cannot believe this. God, I am no fucking SPG, but please help me deal with this ok?
Six: I laughed a lot. I LAUGHED A lot. On Friday alone, when I was deliriously silly the entire day. Which ain't a bad thing, 'cos I realize I might have found my (low) sense of humor and my ability to laugh at every single fucking thing again. Even if the kind of silly happiness that happens to me is temporal - just for one day - I embrace it. Better than nothing. I don't fucking care if I laugh too hard, too loud. I AM FUNNY. =)
I don't think I might've grasped the facts about life as much as I should still. But I'm learning.
I always am.
Aren't you?
One: Out of absolutely no intention of my own, I was "invited" to test-drive a couple of cars, one of which being a long-time crush - the Forester. I now declare my adoration for that lean, mean, 4WD machine. But even more so, I so lust after that damned Focus ST. Having a little more power than what I already enjoy doesn't hurt, does it? I am already fantasizing - I'd have it painted all over classic-green with white stripes, or maybe green with pink polkadots to be a little more madcapped. Anyhoos, an "upgrade" makes me feel less guilty.
Two: I keep getting people who make wrong guesses about my age. If it's not 18, it's 22. Being mistaken for a student is sometimes frustrating, but sometimes - I admit - very flattering too. I can't decide if I should credit it to the beauty creams I've spent a fortune on, or the clothes I've been wearing. But since I know I haven't been very disciplined with the regime, I shall suppose I've just been a little too casual in my dressing. So what? Does it mean I can actually cast a wider net and scoop the younger ones now??? =/
Three: I met up with many lots ex-coworkers at the annual CCK Hari Raya dinner party. One that I couldn't for the life of me miss, lest I get dropped from the party list next year. Ha. It's that prestigious. With all the little offsprings running around, I just had to admit: the days when I ever was the baby in the company were long over. Oh, and I chop-stamp-confirm, I really do make a darned good nanny. Any takers?
Four: I ran and swam and ran and swam till I can feel my limbs no more. Yes, the muscles are starting to bulge again, which renders my efforts at squeezing into my size-0 jeans again useless, but the ensuing pride more than makes up for that fact. 'Squeezing' is not the point. 'Perfect-fitting' is.
Five: I am labelled "funny". By my Ryan-Giggs-lookalike crush, no less. A crush that happened only sporadically in those days when I still travelled to the campus in Portland three miserable times a year. A crush that unbelievably appeared in front of me in Ice Cold Beer last week, and actually told me he remembered me though we had never spoken before. A crush who is going to be staying in this tiny little island as I do for the next six months. A crush who has stored my sacred number in his new cellphone and has since been talking to me via text messages since last week. A crush who told me he was about to leave for HK and would talk to me again later part of the week. If you could now, you would see a contorted look on my face. Erm. What now? I might have been a little too delirious last week, but... I still fucking cannot believe this. God, I am no fucking SPG, but please help me deal with this ok?
Six: I laughed a lot. I LAUGHED A lot. On Friday alone, when I was deliriously silly the entire day. Which ain't a bad thing, 'cos I realize I might have found my (low) sense of humor and my ability to laugh at every single fucking thing again. Even if the kind of silly happiness that happens to me is temporal - just for one day - I embrace it. Better than nothing. I don't fucking care if I laugh too hard, too loud. I AM FUNNY. =)
I don't think I might've grasped the facts about life as much as I should still. But I'm learning.
I always am.
Aren't you?
Thought Of The Day
I think people think I am smart, because I think I look smart and sometimes I think I make wisecracks with a snap of my fingertips.
But I worry... Am I?
Urgh. I have to be.
That's the only thing I have left now to prove myself right.
But I worry... Am I?
Urgh. I have to be.
That's the only thing I have left now to prove myself right.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Friday, November 10, 2006
Morons
I read this off my polar-bear friend Porpor's blog, and I absolutely loved how he made me keel over with silly wild laughter.
*****
Magnitudes of disaster
In ascending order:
One moron
One moron with one opinion
One moron with many opinions
Many morons with many opinions
Many morons with one opinion
*****
I love smart people.
Porpor makes the cut, no doubt.
Porpor, your mama is so darned lucky to have a son like you. Especially one that will outlive her anytime.
Just so I have to explain, I am NOT being delusional.
Porpor really is a Polar Bear, and he is my friend. With no mouth but two small black beads for eyes and a smarty brain to boot, that's somewhat the best kind of friend you can ever ask for.
*****
Magnitudes of disaster
In ascending order:
One moron
One moron with one opinion
One moron with many opinions
Many morons with many opinions
Many morons with one opinion
*****
I love smart people.
Porpor makes the cut, no doubt.
Porpor, your mama is so darned lucky to have a son like you. Especially one that will outlive her anytime.
Just so I have to explain, I am NOT being delusional.
Porpor really is a Polar Bear, and he is my friend. With no mouth but two small black beads for eyes and a smarty brain to boot, that's somewhat the best kind of friend you can ever ask for.
Who Doesn't Love Northwest?
OOoooh!!!
I luff. I luff. I-L-U-F-F.
With three-hundred thousand Worldperks - plus some more - in my pocket, I am definitely a happy woman.
Can even go Meh-hii-ko! =)
I luff. I luff. I-L-U-F-F.
With three-hundred thousand Worldperks - plus some more - in my pocket, I am definitely a happy woman.
Can even go Meh-hii-ko! =)
Monday, November 06, 2006
Adam and Eve
"人生就是如此. 分分离离的."
If I hadn't heard someone make a casual remark like this today, I wouldn't have wanted to talk about it.
But he did. And so will I.
I have been thinking about the story of Adam and Eve, and the Serpent, and the Forbidden Fruit.
And this is how I finally got it. In my own terms, at least.
So, God made Adam and gave him a woman in the form of Eve. And God really meant for Man and Woman to live together and love each other. And by God's interpretation, the love expected of between them is of the purest emotional form - and not in the physical way that we all young punks tend to associate with love in this awful world.
And God was really sweet. He had wanted Man and Woman to live together - in a beautiful paradise. He gave them home in the form of a beautiful garden, but also built a tree in the midst of it that bore fruits that He deliberately forbade them to eat.
But Adam and his Woman unfortunately met the Serpent, who really was Beelzebub in diguise, ate that darned fruit, and became, well... the kind of man and woman we all know.
A man and a woman who no longer lived and loved in the purest form, but who became aware of carnal pleasures and every other evil enjoyments of the material world. Adam and Eve started looking at each other in a manner they had never before - the man noticed the woman had boobs, and the woman began to wonder about the man's manhood.
Adam and Eve could not, and certainly did not, stand up to temptation.
Because God's wrath was incurred, He gave them a hard life, wrought throughout with temptations of every kind, and eventually made them grow old and die.
We all, you and I, became descendants from the Couple who succumbed to temptation.
As far as genetics could explain, we all inherited the natural tendency to succumb to sexual temptation. Men and women could no longer look at the opposite gender and not think about sex.
You and I could have been born perfect. But, no. We are all damned from the start.
So this is how I look at it now. My life and the love I experience in the process of living.
Why I try to live, but keep wanting to die.
Why I love but get hurt in the end.
Because all the people I meet and try to love are all sons of Adam and Eve.
I cannot escape from destiny.
I can only pray and hope to meet someone who actually believes in the beautiful paradise we really deserve and the kind of pure love we are actually capable of showing, just like I do.
In the meantime... Life's like that. Just deal with it.
If I hadn't heard someone make a casual remark like this today, I wouldn't have wanted to talk about it.
But he did. And so will I.
I have been thinking about the story of Adam and Eve, and the Serpent, and the Forbidden Fruit.
And this is how I finally got it. In my own terms, at least.
So, God made Adam and gave him a woman in the form of Eve. And God really meant for Man and Woman to live together and love each other. And by God's interpretation, the love expected of between them is of the purest emotional form - and not in the physical way that we all young punks tend to associate with love in this awful world.
And God was really sweet. He had wanted Man and Woman to live together - in a beautiful paradise. He gave them home in the form of a beautiful garden, but also built a tree in the midst of it that bore fruits that He deliberately forbade them to eat.
But Adam and his Woman unfortunately met the Serpent, who really was Beelzebub in diguise, ate that darned fruit, and became, well... the kind of man and woman we all know.
A man and a woman who no longer lived and loved in the purest form, but who became aware of carnal pleasures and every other evil enjoyments of the material world. Adam and Eve started looking at each other in a manner they had never before - the man noticed the woman had boobs, and the woman began to wonder about the man's manhood.
Adam and Eve could not, and certainly did not, stand up to temptation.
Because God's wrath was incurred, He gave them a hard life, wrought throughout with temptations of every kind, and eventually made them grow old and die.
We all, you and I, became descendants from the Couple who succumbed to temptation.
As far as genetics could explain, we all inherited the natural tendency to succumb to sexual temptation. Men and women could no longer look at the opposite gender and not think about sex.
You and I could have been born perfect. But, no. We are all damned from the start.
So this is how I look at it now. My life and the love I experience in the process of living.
Why I try to live, but keep wanting to die.
Why I love but get hurt in the end.
Because all the people I meet and try to love are all sons of Adam and Eve.
I cannot escape from destiny.
I can only pray and hope to meet someone who actually believes in the beautiful paradise we really deserve and the kind of pure love we are actually capable of showing, just like I do.
In the meantime... Life's like that. Just deal with it.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Cool As A Cap
The cats are already out since more than twelve hours ago.
So why is the mouse still writing away at half past ten on a perfect Friday night?
Time to go.
But before I do, I need to express some long-suppressed narcissism: Don't I just look so fuckin' cool in a cap?
At least (some of) my friends think so too.
"Eh, not many girls can carry off a cap and still look cool lor."
*Ahem*
So why is the mouse still writing away at half past ten on a perfect Friday night?
Time to go.
But before I do, I need to express some long-suppressed narcissism: Don't I just look so fuckin' cool in a cap?
At least (some of) my friends think so too.
"Eh, not many girls can carry off a cap and still look cool lor."
*Ahem*
2006: The Year of Babies
I am absolutely, positively, darned right shocked when I realize I have a little less than two months more to go before the year ends.
It just kinda sucks. This whole year does.
Anyhoos, this has been a quiet year.
Quiet, when I think of weddings. To date, I have only two weddings in my recollection. The weddings-to-attend calendar pales very much in comparison to last year's, and the year before.
There was the lovely beach wedding of Rob and Su's in August. And then there was the most-fun-I-ever-had wedding of XL and her Shark's.
But when I really think harder about it, I realize why there were seemingly less weddings.
'Cos all the babies are popping out. So fast and so furious, I have lost track of whose babies they are.
But the one that really cheered me up, other than baby Marcus, was my new niece in Seattle. Meet little Asha, and her proud dad, my cute-cousin-I-never-knew-I-had-till-I-first-met-him-three-years-ago.
And when I think really, really hard about it all, I feel a huge tinge of bitterness amidst the happiness.
Ah well.
It just kinda sucks. This whole year does.
Anyhoos, this has been a quiet year.
Quiet, when I think of weddings. To date, I have only two weddings in my recollection. The weddings-to-attend calendar pales very much in comparison to last year's, and the year before.
There was the lovely beach wedding of Rob and Su's in August. And then there was the most-fun-I-ever-had wedding of XL and her Shark's.
But when I really think harder about it, I realize why there were seemingly less weddings.
'Cos all the babies are popping out. So fast and so furious, I have lost track of whose babies they are.
But the one that really cheered me up, other than baby Marcus, was my new niece in Seattle. Meet little Asha, and her proud dad, my cute-cousin-I-never-knew-I-had-till-I-first-met-him-three-years-ago.
And when I think really, really hard about it all, I feel a huge tinge of bitterness amidst the happiness.
Ah well.
Swoosh'd Sloshed
This is a very much belated post, but I can only fault myself for being too lazybum to download all the incriminating evidence - only some of which I am putting up here - from the machine.
*****
Question: How do you turn otherwise beautiful, good-natured folks into ugly beings?
Answer: Work for the Swoosh and get your pretty ass onto the regular party list.
Pretty...
Not, er, so pretty...
And absolutely UGLY.
The night ended with three merlions in action, three bathrooms that became unusable, and some others who just couldn't have found their way home without the help of *ahem* moi.
I love you, guys. =) I really do.
You can take the girl outta the Swoosh, but you just can't take the Swoosh outta the girl.
*****
Question: How do you turn otherwise beautiful, good-natured folks into ugly beings?
Answer: Work for the Swoosh and get your pretty ass onto the regular party list.
Pretty...
Not, er, so pretty...
And absolutely UGLY.
The night ended with three merlions in action, three bathrooms that became unusable, and some others who just couldn't have found their way home without the help of *ahem* moi.
I love you, guys. =) I really do.
You can take the girl outta the Swoosh, but you just can't take the Swoosh outta the girl.
The Family Getaway
Life is when... you get the whole freakin' house to yourself for a couple of days, and you walk out of the shower butt-naked, and you turn up the volume of the MTV-channel 'cos you would like to focus on the closet-cleaning until you hear Jay Chou coming on the boob tube, and you (finally) get to lie on the bed listening to the pitter-patter of the afternoon raindrops against the world outside.
Ahhh... Life like I haven't known it for a long, long, long while.
I did the deed early in the morning - driving the entire family gang to the coaches which would bring them to Genting. I would've liked to join them on the short weekend getaway but I'd rather relish my temporary freedom (plus a getaway with the whole gang isn't quite the getaway I'm so looking forward to myself).
I flashed the hugest grin and wished them all a great time up in the highlands, but I wish I would have an even greater time myself this weekend. Hiak hiak hiak.
No nagging. No nagging. And most of all, NO NAGGING.
When the cat is away, the mouse comes out to play.
Ahhh... Life like I haven't known it for a long, long, long while.
I did the deed early in the morning - driving the entire family gang to the coaches which would bring them to Genting. I would've liked to join them on the short weekend getaway but I'd rather relish my temporary freedom (plus a getaway with the whole gang isn't quite the getaway I'm so looking forward to myself).
I flashed the hugest grin and wished them all a great time up in the highlands, but I wish I would have an even greater time myself this weekend. Hiak hiak hiak.
No nagging. No nagging. And most of all, NO NAGGING.
When the cat is away, the mouse comes out to play.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Kick!
(Very bo-liao) Kick of the day.
Free cuppa coffee at Coffee Bean! Regular size too, mind you.
All because the poor bloke couldn't find the right button to punch in on the register for the one-dollar refill. Tsk tsk.
To set the record straight, I did not demand for the free coffee - he returned my two-dollar note with a sheepish apology.
Ahh. The little wonders of life.
The rain has almost, once again, threatened to thwart my swimming plans.
But I see a liiittle bit of the sun peeking out amongst the grey clouds. And the rain has stopped too.
I will now go do what I have been doing for the past few days - sneak a quickie in between the showers.
Do you smell a waft of addiction on me?
Yes, I am. Without no help from some hunk of a life-guard (if there was even one in the first place). =/
Free cuppa coffee at Coffee Bean! Regular size too, mind you.
All because the poor bloke couldn't find the right button to punch in on the register for the one-dollar refill. Tsk tsk.
To set the record straight, I did not demand for the free coffee - he returned my two-dollar note with a sheepish apology.
Ahh. The little wonders of life.
The rain has almost, once again, threatened to thwart my swimming plans.
But I see a liiittle bit of the sun peeking out amongst the grey clouds. And the rain has stopped too.
I will now go do what I have been doing for the past few days - sneak a quickie in between the showers.
Do you smell a waft of addiction on me?
Yes, I am. Without no help from some hunk of a life-guard (if there was even one in the first place). =/
Monday, October 30, 2006
Of Devils and Zoos
I am very pleased with myself over the past few days. Somewhat.
Because I am getting a bit sick of k-dramas and tired of all-round boozing, I've managed to find that little bit of energy to expend in doing things I used to enjoy.
Like? Like hanging around in Borders and fantasizing about that humongous bookcase I'd like to brag about. I couldn't resist the temptation. After pacifying myself that I haven't really spent any on books recently, I trotted home with not one but two new titles. Time to read myself to sleep, and not fall asleep in the middle of episode don't-know-what.
And also, like catching my devils live in action over magnums at Ice Cold, with none other than my chick next to me. I thought I got high, crapping and cursing and cheering over just a couple of beers. Then, I realized the four-nothing thrashing was the one that got me high instead. You go, boys.
And then, the most satisfying of all, a long-overdue day trip just for Gu-gu and the little man. We beat the rain, but had to tackle the sun. We made it to the zoo, finally.
The little man with big shoes to fill.
Even though there was some expected miscommunication (read: we two kenna 'dua') at the beginning, it was all good. If the little one could express his thoughts coherently, I know he would've given me a big hug and a wet slurpy kiss on the lips, topping it off with a "Thank you, Gu-gu... I love you much!"
=) Fantasies.
Oh. And of course. There were the regular wines and beers, and nowadays Guiness drafts. With folks I like these days.
But it is all balanced out.
Because I am getting a bit sick of k-dramas and tired of all-round boozing, I've managed to find that little bit of energy to expend in doing things I used to enjoy.
Like? Like hanging around in Borders and fantasizing about that humongous bookcase I'd like to brag about. I couldn't resist the temptation. After pacifying myself that I haven't really spent any on books recently, I trotted home with not one but two new titles. Time to read myself to sleep, and not fall asleep in the middle of episode don't-know-what.
And also, like catching my devils live in action over magnums at Ice Cold, with none other than my chick next to me. I thought I got high, crapping and cursing and cheering over just a couple of beers. Then, I realized the four-nothing thrashing was the one that got me high instead. You go, boys.
And then, the most satisfying of all, a long-overdue day trip just for Gu-gu and the little man. We beat the rain, but had to tackle the sun. We made it to the zoo, finally.
The little man with big shoes to fill.
Even though there was some expected miscommunication (read: we two kenna 'dua') at the beginning, it was all good. If the little one could express his thoughts coherently, I know he would've given me a big hug and a wet slurpy kiss on the lips, topping it off with a "Thank you, Gu-gu... I love you much!"
=) Fantasies.
Oh. And of course. There were the regular wines and beers, and nowadays Guiness drafts. With folks I like these days.
But it is all balanced out.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
My Man
Singer. Songwriter. Actor. Golden Horse Award winner. Director-wannabe. B-baller. Magician. Mama's boy. Granny's boy. Joker. Buddy.
And now... Shoe designer.
And mind you, it's not just any shoe.
Tell me... just tell me how to not love this boy???
I am soooooo going Taipei.
And now... Shoe designer.
And mind you, it's not just any shoe.
Tell me... just tell me how to not love this boy???
I am soooooo going Taipei.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Flattered
The Starbucks boy I met every morning and afternoon while I was last in Hong Kong for a week-long meeting, who insisted on serving me everytime and who eventually succeeded in getting my email address, is coming to see me.
20:02:54 You're Beautiful Je t' aime: hihi
20:02:54 You're Beautiful Je t' aime: i will go to singapore
20:04:55 ME Inc.: hello!
20:05:01 ME Inc.: wow... really? when?
20:05:07 ME Inc.: thought u're gg india??
20:05:39 You're Beautiful Je t' aime: yeh.
20:06:01 You're Beautiful Je t' aime: i will stay in singapore few hours only.
20:06:02 You're Beautiful Je t' aime: i want go to see you..
20:06:37 ME Inc.: oh? transit only?
20:06:46 You're Beautiful Je t' aime: but i cant see u online b4... i want go to visit u and go around singapore b4...
20:09:11 You're Beautiful Je t' aime: so bad...
20:13:46 You're Beautiful Je t' aime: Dont worry, i will be back...
Wow.
20:02:54 You're Beautiful Je t' aime: hihi
20:02:54 You're Beautiful Je t' aime: i will go to singapore
20:04:55 ME Inc.: hello!
20:05:01 ME Inc.: wow... really? when?
20:05:07 ME Inc.: thought u're gg india??
20:05:39 You're Beautiful Je t' aime: yeh.
20:06:01 You're Beautiful Je t' aime: i will stay in singapore few hours only.
20:06:02 You're Beautiful Je t' aime: i want go to see you..
20:06:37 ME Inc.: oh? transit only?
20:06:46 You're Beautiful Je t' aime: but i cant see u online b4... i want go to visit u and go around singapore b4...
20:09:11 You're Beautiful Je t' aime: so bad...
20:13:46 You're Beautiful Je t' aime: Dont worry, i will be back...
Wow.
Dognana
Sunday afternoon, I was playing dognana. A post-rain, still-hazy, sunless afternoon at Tanjong. The beach was very nicely empty, 'cept for the posers 'chilling out' at the beach bar. It was just perfect for us, me and Sam had good deal of fun.
Sam. I am going to ask his momma if I could be his godmomma. I can forget about all the hair shed all over my backseat. No problemo.
I haven't felt this quiet peace and happiness for a while. I have almost forgotten how much joy dogs bring me.
And so, it's got me started on something I could possibly try out. Dognana.
Hmmm...
*****
The past couple of weeks or so have been just quiet and anonymous. Eventful, yet not that eventful. With a chunk of unplanned for nostalgia.
Things that I haven't done for quite a while, and that have recently made me realized how good they used to make me feel and how much I actually do miss them.
I drove to places I haven't been back to since... since a while ago. They unfortunately reminded me of those times I have so wanted to remove from my memory, yet they also reminded me how much I enjoy the thrill of adventure and exploration. I never fail to get a kick out of amazing people (especially men) with my topological knowledge of the island. I especially love it when I am usually the one who finds the quickest route from point A to B.
I really miss driving around, although sometimes aimlessly. Question now is, do I really need a kaki for this?
I am also back to the running and the swimming. A little easier on the knee, though I suspect it's cranking up the neck and shoulders.
And I've been good at keeping up with the plan. No, I am not fat. But there're a few pounds and inches I could do without because I can't even squeeze into my jeans now and I don't have nothing much left to wear. Which is a bummer, because I really don't feel like spending money on new clothes. Which is devastating, because I fucking miss shopping.
I am back at the movies.
And I am also back at Ice Cold.
Both of which could possibly cause the onslaught of some undesired problems. That I really, really don't wish to be bogged down with.
No, not at this point in time.
Fuck.
*****
"Maybe you need a change in social scenery."
Yeah, maybe. But how?
Sam. I am going to ask his momma if I could be his godmomma. I can forget about all the hair shed all over my backseat. No problemo.
I haven't felt this quiet peace and happiness for a while. I have almost forgotten how much joy dogs bring me.
And so, it's got me started on something I could possibly try out. Dognana.
Hmmm...
*****
The past couple of weeks or so have been just quiet and anonymous. Eventful, yet not that eventful. With a chunk of unplanned for nostalgia.
Things that I haven't done for quite a while, and that have recently made me realized how good they used to make me feel and how much I actually do miss them.
I drove to places I haven't been back to since... since a while ago. They unfortunately reminded me of those times I have so wanted to remove from my memory, yet they also reminded me how much I enjoy the thrill of adventure and exploration. I never fail to get a kick out of amazing people (especially men) with my topological knowledge of the island. I especially love it when I am usually the one who finds the quickest route from point A to B.
I really miss driving around, although sometimes aimlessly. Question now is, do I really need a kaki for this?
I am also back to the running and the swimming. A little easier on the knee, though I suspect it's cranking up the neck and shoulders.
And I've been good at keeping up with the plan. No, I am not fat. But there're a few pounds and inches I could do without because I can't even squeeze into my jeans now and I don't have nothing much left to wear. Which is a bummer, because I really don't feel like spending money on new clothes. Which is devastating, because I fucking miss shopping.
I am back at the movies.
And I am also back at Ice Cold.
Both of which could possibly cause the onslaught of some undesired problems. That I really, really don't wish to be bogged down with.
No, not at this point in time.
Fuck.
*****
"Maybe you need a change in social scenery."
Yeah, maybe. But how?
Monday, October 16, 2006
先苦后甜
Is there anything in this world possibly more painful than heartache?
Probably 推拿, yes.
Well, for one, both made me tear. So far-ar-ar-king painful, I actually teared on the stringy towel draped over the massage bed that has threatened an outbreak of 1,000 blemishes on my face.
I can only thank the damned k-dramas and my bunk-in little man for the pain that led to the ultimate pain.
The funny, and unexpectedly sweet, thing about 推拿 is that after the few moments of intense pain comes a relaxing sooth that surges over your entire body. From the neck all the way down to the legs.
I grit my teeth, I let loose a few tears, and then I feel a brand-new me.
After the initial cussing, my fifty bucks were well-spent after all. I deserved the pain, and I sure deserve the pleasure afterward. I think I am beginning to fall in love with 推拿.
Should I then apply the same logic to heartache? Should I assume pain in any instance only brings on happiness thereafter?
If only love could be bought. With a mere fifty bucks.
*****
In times like this, I always get reminded of how fortunate I am to have friends like the ones I have.
19:21:26 ME Inc.: is it a good monday for u babe?
19:31:03 delilah: hi there
19:31:08 delilah: its ok, how was it for you?
19:31:40 ME Inc.: terrible... i was so tired with a bad back/shoulder/neck
19:31:55 ME Inc.: my nephew has been sleeping on my bed for the past couple of days thats y
19:32:03 ME Inc.: just went for a tui na session that killed me
19:39:01 delilah: oh no
19:39:03 delilah: you come my house sleep
19:39:06 delilah: i got extra bed
19:39:07 ME Inc.: eh?
19:39:09 ME Inc.: oh
19:39:13 ME Inc.: sigh
19:39:16 delilah: really
19:39:32 ME Inc.: maybe i need to invest in a good pillow, no?
19:39:32 delilah: oh you wan sleep my bed, I sleep my sister's. she damn long no come home wan
19:39:48 ME Inc.: =) thanks babe...
And it reminded me. This wasn't the first offer of a bed to me.
Dude, thanks. I remember.
I give umbrella. You give bed. =)
Probably 推拿, yes.
Well, for one, both made me tear. So far-ar-ar-king painful, I actually teared on the stringy towel draped over the massage bed that has threatened an outbreak of 1,000 blemishes on my face.
I can only thank the damned k-dramas and my bunk-in little man for the pain that led to the ultimate pain.
The funny, and unexpectedly sweet, thing about 推拿 is that after the few moments of intense pain comes a relaxing sooth that surges over your entire body. From the neck all the way down to the legs.
I grit my teeth, I let loose a few tears, and then I feel a brand-new me.
After the initial cussing, my fifty bucks were well-spent after all. I deserved the pain, and I sure deserve the pleasure afterward. I think I am beginning to fall in love with 推拿.
Should I then apply the same logic to heartache? Should I assume pain in any instance only brings on happiness thereafter?
If only love could be bought. With a mere fifty bucks.
*****
In times like this, I always get reminded of how fortunate I am to have friends like the ones I have.
19:21:26 ME Inc.: is it a good monday for u babe?
19:31:03 delilah: hi there
19:31:08 delilah: its ok, how was it for you?
19:31:40 ME Inc.: terrible... i was so tired with a bad back/shoulder/neck
19:31:55 ME Inc.: my nephew has been sleeping on my bed for the past couple of days thats y
19:32:03 ME Inc.: just went for a tui na session that killed me
19:39:01 delilah: oh no
19:39:03 delilah: you come my house sleep
19:39:06 delilah: i got extra bed
19:39:07 ME Inc.: eh?
19:39:09 ME Inc.: oh
19:39:13 ME Inc.: sigh
19:39:16 delilah: really
19:39:32 ME Inc.: maybe i need to invest in a good pillow, no?
19:39:32 delilah: oh you wan sleep my bed, I sleep my sister's. she damn long no come home wan
19:39:48 ME Inc.: =) thanks babe...
And it reminded me. This wasn't the first offer of a bed to me.
Dude, thanks. I remember.
I give umbrella. You give bed. =)
Orh Kong
Ahem.
Because I am the nice samaritan that I am, here goes.
*****
Price increase without further notice.
Speeding:
Exceeding 1 - 20km/h = $130 + 4 demerit points.
Exceeding 21 - 30km/h = $150 + 6 demerit points.
Exceeding 31 - 40km/h = $180 + 8 demerit points.
Exceeding 41 - 50km/h = >$200 + 12 demerit points + Court.
Exceeding 51 - 60km/h = >$200 + 18 demerit points + Court.
Exceeding >61km/h = >$200 + 24 demerit points + Court.
If you want to be hero and fight the court case yourself, and you lose, you pay the court charges yourself, which will add up to your fine. I guess the court charges is at least $200 and above.
Careless driving = $150 + 6 demerit Points
Inconsiderate Driving = $170 + 9 Demerit Points + Court
Dangerous Driving = >$200 + 24 Demerit Points + Court + Vehicle Compounded
Illegal Racing = >$200 + Vehicle Confiscate + Court
Fail to put Seat Belt = $120 + 3 demerit points
Crossing Double White lines = $130 + 4 points
Phone and Drive = $200 + 12 demerit point + Phone Confiscate
Do not hold your hp in your hand when you drive even with loud speaker or ear piece.
Drink Driving
For first offence = Up to $5000 Fine And, or jail Term + License Suspended + Court
2nd time offence = Jail term + Fine + Court.
Making an illegal U Turn when there's no U Turn sign = $70.
Fail to Signal when changing lanes = $70.
Driving at night without headlights or taillights switch on after 7pm = $30.
No Number Plate = $70.
Obstructed Number Plate = $70.
Obscured Number Plate = $70.
Number Plate Of Unapproved Type = $70.
As for Demerit Point system:
Let's say you have 0 points on 1st January 2005, and you committed The offence of Failing to Put on Seat Belt. So now, you will have 3 demerit points and this will last for 1 Year. If during this 1 year you have no demerit points offence at all, your 3 demerit points will be gone on 1/1/2006. But, if during this one year, From 1/1/2005 - 1/1/2006, you committed
Another offence with demerit points, your very first offence will be extended for another year until 1/1/2007.
Courtesy of Miss Tan.
*****
I think I should just sell that blody car, no?
Because I am the nice samaritan that I am, here goes.
*****
Price increase without further notice.
Speeding:
Exceeding 1 - 20km/h = $130 + 4 demerit points.
Exceeding 21 - 30km/h = $150 + 6 demerit points.
Exceeding 31 - 40km/h = $180 + 8 demerit points.
Exceeding 41 - 50km/h = >$200 + 12 demerit points + Court.
Exceeding 51 - 60km/h = >$200 + 18 demerit points + Court.
Exceeding >61km/h = >$200 + 24 demerit points + Court.
If you want to be hero and fight the court case yourself, and you lose, you pay the court charges yourself, which will add up to your fine. I guess the court charges is at least $200 and above.
Careless driving = $150 + 6 demerit Points
Inconsiderate Driving = $170 + 9 Demerit Points + Court
Dangerous Driving = >$200 + 24 Demerit Points + Court + Vehicle Compounded
Illegal Racing = >$200 + Vehicle Confiscate + Court
Fail to put Seat Belt = $120 + 3 demerit points
Crossing Double White lines = $130 + 4 points
Phone and Drive = $200 + 12 demerit point + Phone Confiscate
Do not hold your hp in your hand when you drive even with loud speaker or ear piece.
Drink Driving
For first offence = Up to $5000 Fine And, or jail Term + License Suspended + Court
2nd time offence = Jail term + Fine + Court.
Making an illegal U Turn when there's no U Turn sign = $70.
Fail to Signal when changing lanes = $70.
Driving at night without headlights or taillights switch on after 7pm = $30.
No Number Plate = $70.
Obstructed Number Plate = $70.
Obscured Number Plate = $70.
Number Plate Of Unapproved Type = $70.
As for Demerit Point system:
Let's say you have 0 points on 1st January 2005, and you committed The offence of Failing to Put on Seat Belt. So now, you will have 3 demerit points and this will last for 1 Year. If during this 1 year you have no demerit points offence at all, your 3 demerit points will be gone on 1/1/2006. But, if during this one year, From 1/1/2005 - 1/1/2006, you committed
Another offence with demerit points, your very first offence will be extended for another year until 1/1/2007.
Courtesy of Miss Tan.
*****
I think I should just sell that blody car, no?
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Forever Lost
I feel apologetic.
Thousands of apologies. Millions, in fact.
To all those dear to me who have sent me birthday well-wishes on my cell-phone, I truly sincerely desperately offer my deepest heart-felt apologies. I have not seen any of your sweet messages.
I fucking lost my precious phone. Just on that very night before.
And especially to the giver of the precious phone... gazillions of apologies.
I no longer really wish to talk about that stupid fateful night.
I lost my phone. And a little bit more.
'Nuff said. *Humph*
Thousands of apologies. Millions, in fact.
To all those dear to me who have sent me birthday well-wishes on my cell-phone, I truly sincerely desperately offer my deepest heart-felt apologies. I have not seen any of your sweet messages.
I fucking lost my precious phone. Just on that very night before.
And especially to the giver of the precious phone... gazillions of apologies.
I no longer really wish to talk about that stupid fateful night.
I lost my phone. And a little bit more.
'Nuff said. *Humph*
La La La La La...
Things that make me go hmmm...
... and then, a big fat smile. =)
hi,
i am really glad to see the videos on the 8th akf that you posted on youtube. i was there live for all the 3 days. japanese were great, weren't they?
if possible, please keep these great videos coming up. appreciated.
cheerio
... and then, a big fat smile. =)
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Four Birthdays And A Funeral
And many, many sleepless nights.
I would like to take this opportunity to express my eternal love and gratitude to my Sasy chick who opened my now-panda-like eyes to the beautiful world of... k-dramas.
Yes, Korean dramas. Those sappy-soppy weepy dramas with too-good-to-be-real male-lover specimens who will love you to their literal deaths (or yours too, for that matter). Awww.
I've made quite a feat myself as well. Five dramas in just two weeks - complete to the very last weepy-teary episode. I know.
I think I am going up the road called Crazy again. Or, perhaps this time I should take a turn up Delusional instead.
Sometimes, I really doubt myself, my existence.
I no longer know the planet where I come from. I recognize the planet where I live in, but I don't know the one where I come from.
I've made a startling discovery of late.
That the last weeks of September turning into early October are indeed calamitous.
Four birthdays (read: four crazy nights) have already gone by. Two more to go, one of which belongs to the Crazy Delusional One. =/
Don't know why. Just can't find myself to smile.
The party starts today. Or maybe only today.
I am so gonna torture the chicks with an all-Jay concert at Party World. I don't care.
It's my party, and I'll sing Jay if I want to.
And then... the bottles will hit me. And maybe the mambo bug will bite too. Whatever. I have only one last year in the damned twenties.
I remember, in a past not too long ago, I used to be Queen this time of the year.
And suddenly, I remember too, in a past very long ago, I was Baby Cheng 365 days of the year.
How more delusional can life get?
At some point in time, you can be something to someone, anything to anyone, everything to everyone. But at the end of it all, you realize you can only be one thing, and only to yourself.
And nothing else really matters.
Damn.
I can feel the wires tangling up in the brains.
I think I need to get back to the k-dramas.
Pardon the silence, if there's any. I think I might have forgotten how to write.
I would like to take this opportunity to express my eternal love and gratitude to my Sasy chick who opened my now-panda-like eyes to the beautiful world of... k-dramas.
Yes, Korean dramas. Those sappy-soppy weepy dramas with too-good-to-be-real male-lover specimens who will love you to their literal deaths (or yours too, for that matter). Awww.
I've made quite a feat myself as well. Five dramas in just two weeks - complete to the very last weepy-teary episode. I know.
I think I am going up the road called Crazy again. Or, perhaps this time I should take a turn up Delusional instead.
Sometimes, I really doubt myself, my existence.
I no longer know the planet where I come from. I recognize the planet where I live in, but I don't know the one where I come from.
I've made a startling discovery of late.
That the last weeks of September turning into early October are indeed calamitous.
Four birthdays (read: four crazy nights) have already gone by. Two more to go, one of which belongs to the Crazy Delusional One. =/
Don't know why. Just can't find myself to smile.
The party starts today. Or maybe only today.
I am so gonna torture the chicks with an all-Jay concert at Party World. I don't care.
It's my party, and I'll sing Jay if I want to.
And then... the bottles will hit me. And maybe the mambo bug will bite too. Whatever. I have only one last year in the damned twenties.
I remember, in a past not too long ago, I used to be Queen this time of the year.
And suddenly, I remember too, in a past very long ago, I was Baby Cheng 365 days of the year.
How more delusional can life get?
At some point in time, you can be something to someone, anything to anyone, everything to everyone. But at the end of it all, you realize you can only be one thing, and only to yourself.
And nothing else really matters.
Damn.
I can feel the wires tangling up in the brains.
I think I need to get back to the k-dramas.
Pardon the silence, if there's any. I think I might have forgotten how to write.
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